I won't go into details right this minute, but 4 years ago I was recruited into a Christian cult that has consumed my life. I gave up my career, relationships, friendships, so much of my life, for the cause of this group. But then as a result of covid-19 I was afforded extra time that allowed me to think, reassess, and realize that the group had many issues and doctrinal contradictions leading me to conclude that it cannot be the truth. And after many months of spiritual wandering, just recently I've decided that I need to make the move and leave. It's not quite as simple to do that however - I have to find full time work (which I am in the process of doing) before I can leave so I can support myself after leaving the house I'm in (which is a shared house with cult members). But more importantly, I feel spiritually lost, confused, uncertain, unmotivated, and a great sense of loss and other emotions. I am so afraid to embrace a church or even just Christianity, because what if it turns out that that group is also false etc? I don't want to make the same mistake twice. I kind of want to just live life my own way now, and not focus on religion anymore, but I know deep down that I won't be satisfied with that. Perhaps it's just my personality, but I long for certainty and meaning, and the group provided me that certainty and meaning and so without the group, it feels like I have nothing - as the group taught me well about how evil the world is and how corrupt Christianity is, and how only the truth can be found within the group. If you don't know much about cults, then you may wonder why I fell victim to it, but these groups are very sophisticated. So yeah, I am feeling very lost still and just don't know what to do with life right now. I used to be really bright but I've lost so much of who I was. Has anyone else had a similar experience and how did you move forward? thanks