I see a third possibility also, because many people at some point in their life find themselves in some situation that is so painful they do want to die, but fear death, and are too ------ (insert word of choice) to off themselves. And do you know, that fear of death is named as the reason people are in bondage to sin?
Fear of death is the reason people are in bondage to sin?
I'd need a verse to back that one up (of course I'm not meaning that confrontationally.)
You know I really enjoy these discussions with you. You're very honest, straightforward and understanding.
That third possibility though, actually that did come to mind after I posted. That people would seek it or want it, but in their mind might be put such a terror or fear to go through the pain of dying that it'd stop them.
That was actually what stopped me from making a choice like that. Since I couldn't make the thoughts stop because of the emotional wreck I was in, I allowed myself to go through the motions of preparing to do it up to the last point. It was "Fine if you really want it, do it. But if you don't really want this, get out of my head. Put up or shut up."
It was admittedly a dangerous gamble. But it was the only way to know if it was truly what I wanted or not. And if it wasn't truly what I wanted, I could forever expose it as a lie to myself and discard it, knowing for certain.
At that moment was when I collapsed on the kitchen floor as all that tensions left because in the end I just realized I was lost, terrified, and hurting.
And that was when I prayed for the first time in years and found myself properly returning to Christ. I got a call from some Mormon missionaries a few days later.
Mormonism itself was a false path, but it got me back into reading the Bible. Once I'd shed that shell and went back to basics, I took that final step back on track to a proper relationship with Christ and with God (and discarded the Mormon doctrines).
So I can relate to that 3rd possibility.