Pun WAR!

[shineyourlight]

That's right - if you're so punny, let's start a pun war.

I'd love to stay and chat, but I mustache.

 

[cinder]

I feel like a bicycle today.... I'm two tired.

 

[cinder]

And then there was the guy who sent ten puns into the pun contest. He hoped at least one would win but no pun in ten did.

 

[shineyourlight]

I feel like a bicycle today.... I'm two tired.

My bike puns are wheelie awesome. Are you able to handle them?!

 

[NotmebutHim]

I bought a replacement cushion for a chair. The proof of the sale was a "re-seat".

 

[Moses_Young]

My friend unfortunately passed away after being injured whilst camping, as at the hospital, they needed his blood type but nobody knew what it was. Ever optimistic, his last words to me and the medical team were, “Be positive!”

 

[17Bees]

What are ya'll trying to pedal?

All this pun stuff is hazardous material, so I'll keep quiet asbestos I can.

 

[climbthehill]

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger then, it hit me.

 

[Ruby123]

Can February March? No but April May.

 

[true_believer]

Q. Which country's capital has the fastest-growing population? A. Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.

 

[Lynx]

I feel like a bicycle today.... I'm two tired.

I'm retired. I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today.

 

[shineyourlight]

What are ya'll trying to pedal?

All this pun stuff is hazardous material, so I'll keep quiet asbestos I can.

Well, I was trying to pedal my bike, but I was two tired.

 

[Lynx]

cinder beat ya to it. Guess her bike was faster.

 

[Lynx]

Personal opinion: We should make a rule that the next pun has to be topically connected to the one before it.

(This is of course subject to the OP's approval.)

So if one said, "Man, these puns stink!"

The next could say, "Sorry, that was the cheese I had with my lunch. Can't seem to get the smell off my hands, no matter how I wash them."

Then the next could say, "Yeah these jokes ARE pretty cheesy."

(No idea where to go from there... maybe a pun about mice and cheese? Then we could add mice to the pun topic.)

 

[shineyourlight]

Personal opinion: We should make a rule that the next pun has to be topically connected to the one before it.

(This is of course subject to the OP's approval.)

So if one said, "Man, these puns stink!"

The next could say, "Sorry, that was the cheese I had with my lunch. Can't seem to get the smell off my hands, no matter how I wash them."

Then the next could say, "Yeah these jokes ARE pretty cheesy."

(No idea where to go from there... maybe a pun about mice and cheese? Then we could add mice to the pun topic.)

Yes, I agree! I thought of that afterwards, but I can't edit my post.

 

[cinder]

Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.

 

[Lynx]

Hmm... reading a review for the Anne Boleyn musical...

"Good idea, but I didn't like the execution."

 

[Lynx]

Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.

A priest, a rabbi and a gorilla walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey what is this, some kind of joke?"

 

[Jilly81]

Three logicians walk into a juice bar.
"Do you all want a taste of today's specialty?" asked the bartender.
"I don't know" replied the first man.
"I'm not sure" answered the second.
"Yes" said the third.


Okay, not really a pun, but one of my favorites .

 

[Lynx]

Three logicians walk into a juice bar.
"Do you all want a taste of today's specialty?" asked the bartender.
"I don't know" replied the first man.
"I'm not sure" answered the second.
"Yes" said the third.


Okay, not really a pun, but one of my favorites .

Sounds like a tourist group I heard about up in Ireland. They were going through one little town and the tour guide said, "If you look to your left, we are now passing one of the best whiskey distilleries in Ireland."

A tourist said, "That's what YOU think!" and jumped out of the bus.