Midnight Confessions

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Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
59,813
29,192
113
I’m praying for you. The good Lord will get you through this ordeal. I’m sure He will.
Thank you, Susanna, I appreciate it :)


Please add my prayer to yours for the surgery to be effective and without complications.
Prayers for you and the surgery. When are you having it? Hugs sent your way too. Wishing a speedy recovery.
Thank you Jerry and Darlene :) Surgery was two weeks ago today, and seemed to go quite well, since the operating room had been booked for seven hours, yet the surgery itself took less than four hours, when it could have been much longer.

I arrived at the hospital by taxi at six in the morning, was wheeled into surgery just after eight, and was in the recovery room just before noon, though I did not wake up for a few hours after that... and when I did awaken, I wondered, what was all the fuss about? Because I had experienced a fair bit of anxiety the week before, especially exactly a week before surgery, though it was the type of anxiety I would classify more as visceral than psychological. On a psychological level it was not helpful that at every step of the way since my initial diagnosis in mid February, just about anything any medical professional had said to me was subsequently contradicted by somebody else (and once even by the same person!). However, even though I wanted to trust my surgical care team, I knew that ultimately my faith was not in them but in He Whom we know as God.

By the time I was delivered to the room which had been reserved for me for six days following surgery, it was dinner time, and I ate a nice meal (fish!), and then had a lovely breakfast Saturday morning. Orange juice about an hour later did my stomach in. All day long I had indigestion, nausea, heartburn, hiccups, burping, and little throw-ups. During this time also, the cuffs that were on my lower legs to stimulate circulation were removed, and I was given a blood thinner shot which made me more nauseous, and when Gravol was added to my I.V. to alleviate my nausea, I became even more nauseated. Lidocaine was part of my I.V. flow, with added Hydromorphone that I could push-button self administer every six minutes if desired for pain management, which thankfully I was not in any considerable need of, as it did nothing to alleviate any pain I did experience, something I reminded the nurses and doctors of when they would ask why I wasn't using it. They decided to double my dose anyway, and it doubled my pain levels. All this elevated my blood pressure, and the nurse refused to accept the high numbers and kept taking it again, I imagine hoping for better results, while I was begging her to stop, as it felt like I was being tortured needlessly. By three o'clock in the morning Mount Vesuvius finally erupted, and I had a nasal/gastro tube inserted through my right nostril, down my esophagus, into my stomach, where it stayed for close to a week, during which time I could neither eat nor drink anything while my stomach contents were being constantly drained.

I spoke to my closest sister and my daughter Friday night, and the difference between how I sounded the first night and the second night was alarming to both. For many days all I did was sleep at every opportunity, while three others in the same room were being tended to, medical staff and patients coming and going, and vitals taken on all every four hours. The 'no visitors rule' due to Covid 19 was a blessing in disguise. They did make me sit up unassisted at the side of the bed on that first Saturday, but delayed making me walk around until Sunday (walking following surgery helps get everything moving again). There was also a superbug scare while I was there, and I was "quarantined" for a few days in my curtained space by the window.

A week after surgery must have been when they removed the N/G tube, and I was allowed to have chicken consomme for dinner that night, which I threw up. I had a full fluids breakfast the next day which surprisingly included a thin porridge, and a terrifically delicious pureed tortilla soup for lunch, though the butterscotch pudding was a huge mistake. Jello simply did not appeal. Nausea after eating was gone by Saturday night, and the possibility of being allowed to go home on Monday looked very promising. 26 staples were removed Saturday afternoon, and four more remained, two of which were holding an abdominal drainage tube in place. The other two were under bandages, and those four were removed Monday when the drainage tube came out. Sunday we discovered that two of my four incisions had opened a little, and I sill have home care nurses coming every other day to "dress my wounds."

I was ready to go by two Monday afternoon, and my daughter was waiting. Her paternal aunt has been great in picking me up from the hospital (twice!) and driving the two of them to pick up my little Luna the night before surgery. I had originally thought I could do it that day, but my body kind of shut down and I was incapable of doing much beyond my full liquid diet and special drinks and antibiotic meds to prepare for surgery the following day. Luna is still at my daughter's place being well cared for in their busy household where there are five other animals outnumbering the four humans. Luna has her own room (the laundry room), and my daughter cannot believe how much she sheds!

From the hospital we went to Capers/Wholefoods and then to Shoppers Drug Mart to fill three prescriptions for me, one of which is blood thinner that I have to jab myself with every day for a couple of weeks *shudders*. The walk from the underground parking to across the street was as much as I could manage. My daughter stayed over night the first night which was lovely, and not just because she did my dishes and some general tidying, and we ordered East Indian food through Skip the Dishes, enjoying butter chicken with naan bread, pakoras, and samosas. We went to bed fairly early and then sat awake together talking in the dark in the middle of the night when I got up for a short time. We were up again at seven and I made coffee for us both, and then she got busy putting a grocery list together and ordering a delivery for me that arrived before she left, as did my fist home care nurse. One came today and I am expecting another on Saturday, and M-W-F of next week, after which it will taper off to twice a week... for how long I do not know.

My spirits are good but I am low on energy, and must move fairly carefully, though I have no problem getting in or out of bed, and am sill taking pain killers at least once a day. I am also still fairly black and blue from being brutalized by I.V.s and what not, blood being taken every day while I was hospitalized. Blood thinners make bruises worse, I'm told.

I am not to lift more than 5 pounds....



My coffee cup may be too large LOL

I received this beautiful bouquet from my boss/workmates today:


^ Taken with my smart phone ^
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,550
17,022
113
69
Tennessee
I’m praying for you. The good Lord will get you through this ordeal. I’m sure He will.
I am 100% positive that God will take very good care of our friend Magenta. God will also take very good care of Bob. In fact, God is going to take care of everyone here.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,550
17,022
113
69
Tennessee
Thank you, Susanna, I appreciate it :)




Thank you Jerry and Darlene :) Surgery was two weeks ago today, and seemed to go quite well, since the operating room had been booked for seven hours, yet the surgery itself took less than four hours, when it could have been much longer.

I arrived at the hospital by taxi at six in the morning, was wheeled into surgery just after eight, and was in the recovery room just before noon, though I did not wake up for a few hours after that... and when I did awaken, I wondered, what was all the fuss about? Because I had experienced a fair bit of anxiety the week before, especially exactly a week before surgery, though it was the type of anxiety I would classify more as visceral than psychological. On a psychological level it was not helpful that at every step of the way since my initial diagnosis in mid February, just about anything any medical professional had said to me was subsequently contradicted by somebody else (and once even by the same person!). However, even though I wanted to trust my surgical care team, I knew that ultimately my faith was not in them but in He Whom we know as God.

By the time I was delivered to the room which had been reserved for me for six days following surgery, it was dinner time, and I ate a nice meal (fish!), and then had a lovely breakfast Saturday morning. Orange juice about an hour later did my stomach in. All day long I had indigestion, nausea, heartburn, hiccups, burping, and little throw-ups. During this time also, the cuffs that were on my lower legs to stimulate circulation were removed, and I was given a blood thinner shot which made me more nauseous, and when Gravol was added to my I.V. to alleviate my nausea, I became even more nauseated. Lidocaine was part of my I.V. flow, with added Hydromorphone that I could push-button self administer every six minutes if desired for pain management, which thankfully I was not in any considerable need of, as it did nothing to alleviate any pain I did experience, something I reminded the nurses and doctors of when they would ask why I wasn't using it. They decided to double my dose anyway, and it doubled my pain levels. All this elevated my blood pressure, and the nurse refused to accept the high numbers and kept taking it again, I imagine hoping for better results, while I was begging her to stop, as it felt like I was being tortured needlessly. By three o'clock in the morning Mount Vesuvius finally erupted, and I had a nasal/gastro tube inserted through my right nostril, down my esophagus, into my stomach, where it stayed for close to a week, during which time I could neither eat nor drink anything while my stomach contents were being constantly drained.

I spoke to my closest sister and my daughter Friday night, and the difference between how I sounded the first night and the second night was alarming to both. For many days all I did was sleep at every opportunity, while three others in the same room were being tended to, medical staff and patients coming and going, and vitals taken on all every four hours. The 'no visitors rule' due to Covid 19 was a blessing in disguise. They did make me sit up unassisted at the side of the bed on that first Saturday, but delayed making me walk around until Sunday (walking following surgery helps get everything moving again). There was also a superbug scare while I was there, and I was "quarantined" for a few days in my curtained space by the window.

A week after surgery must have been when they removed the N/G tube, and I was allowed to have chicken consomme for dinner that night, which I threw up. I had a full fluids breakfast the next day which surprisingly included a thin porridge, and a terrifically delicious pureed tortilla soup for lunch, though the butterscotch pudding was a huge mistake. Jello simply did not appeal. Nausea after eating was gone by Saturday night, and the possibility of being allowed to go home on Monday looked very promising. 26 staples were removed Saturday afternoon, and four more remained, two of which were holding an abdominal drainage tube in place. The other two were under bandages, and those four were removed Monday when the drainage tube came out. Sunday we discovered that two of my four incisions had opened a little, and I sill have home care nurses coming every other day to "dress my wounds."

I was ready to go by two Monday afternoon, and my daughter was waiting. Her paternal aunt has been great in picking me up from the hospital (twice!) and driving the two of them to pick up my little Luna the night before surgery. I had originally thought I could do it that day, but my body kind of shut down and I was incapable of doing much beyond my full liquid diet and special drinks and antibiotic meds to prepare for surgery the following day. Luna is still at my daughter's place being well cared for in their busy household where there are five other animals outnumbering the four humans. Luna has her own room (the laundry room), and my daughter cannot believe how much she sheds!

From the hospital we went to Capers/Wholefoods and then to Shoppers Drug Mart to fill three prescriptions for me, one of which is blood thinner that I have to jab myself with every day for a couple of weeks *shudders*. The walk from the underground parking to across the street was as much as I could manage. My daughter stayed over night the first night which was lovely, and not just because she did my dishes and some general tidying, and we ordered East Indian food through Skip the Dishes, enjoying butter chicken with naan bread, pakoras, and samosas. We went to bed fairly early and then sat awake together talking in the dark in the middle of the night when I got up for a short time. We were up again at seven and I made coffee for us both, and then she got busy putting a grocery list together and ordering a delivery for me that arrived before she left, as did my fist home care nurse. One came today and I am expecting another on Saturday, and M-W-F of next week, after which it will taper off to twice a week... for how long I do not know.

My spirits are good but I am low on energy, and must move fairly carefully, though I have no problem getting in or out of bed, and am sill taking pain killers at least once a day. I am also still fairly black and blue from being brutalized by I.V.s and what not, blood being taken every day while I was hospitalized. Blood thinners make bruises worse, I'm told.

I am not to lift more than 5 pounds....



My coffee cup may be too large LOL

I received this beautiful bouquet from my boss/workmates today:


^ Taken with my smart phone ^
That was quite an ordeal that you experienced and I'm sure that you are still in the process of recovery. I pray for all of God's best for you. Thank you very much for writing about your medical adventures. I am sure that there may be someone that could benefit from reading your story. Seems to me that you handled the anxiety quite well. I read somewhere that what doesn't kill you can only make you stronger. I believe this to be true for you.
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
14,554
2,176
113
Thank you, Susanna, I appreciate it :)




Thank you Jerry and Darlene :) Surgery was two weeks ago today, and seemed to go quite well, since the operating room had been booked for seven hours, yet the surgery itself took less than four hours, when it could have been much longer.

I arrived at the hospital by taxi at six in the morning, was wheeled into surgery just after eight, and was in the recovery room just before noon, though I did not wake up for a few hours after that... and when I did awaken, I wondered, what was all the fuss about? Because I had experienced a fair bit of anxiety the week before, especially exactly a week before surgery, though it was the type of anxiety I would classify more as visceral than psychological. On a psychological level it was not helpful that at every step of the way since my initial diagnosis in mid February, just about anything any medical professional had said to me was subsequently contradicted by somebody else (and once even by the same person!). However, even though I wanted to trust my surgical care team, I knew that ultimately my faith was not in them but in He Whom we know as God.

By the time I was delivered to the room which had been reserved for me for six days following surgery, it was dinner time, and I ate a nice meal (fish!), and then had a lovely breakfast Saturday morning. Orange juice about an hour later did my stomach in. All day long I had indigestion, nausea, heartburn, hiccups, burping, and little throw-ups. During this time also, the cuffs that were on my lower legs to stimulate circulation were removed, and I was given a blood thinner shot which made me more nauseous, and when Gravol was added to my I.V. to alleviate my nausea, I became even more nauseated. Lidocaine was part of my I.V. flow, with added Hydromorphone that I could push-button self administer every six minutes if desired for pain management, which thankfully I was not in any considerable need of, as it did nothing to alleviate any pain I did experience, something I reminded the nurses and doctors of when they would ask why I wasn't using it. They decided to double my dose anyway, and it doubled my pain levels. All this elevated my blood pressure, and the nurse refused to accept the high numbers and kept taking it again, I imagine hoping for better results, while I was begging her to stop, as it felt like I was being tortured needlessly. By three o'clock in the morning Mount Vesuvius finally erupted, and I had a nasal/gastro tube inserted through my right nostril, down my esophagus, into my stomach, where it stayed for close to a week, during which time I could neither eat nor drink anything while my stomach contents were being constantly drained.

I spoke to my closest sister and my daughter Friday night, and the difference between how I sounded the first night and the second night was alarming to both. For many days all I did was sleep at every opportunity, while three others in the same room were being tended to, medical staff and patients coming and going, and vitals taken on all every four hours. The 'no visitors rule' due to Covid 19 was a blessing in disguise. They did make me sit up unassisted at the side of the bed on that first Saturday, but delayed making me walk around until Sunday (walking following surgery helps get everything moving again). There was also a superbug scare while I was there, and I was "quarantined" for a few days in my curtained space by the window.

A week after surgery must have been when they removed the N/G tube, and I was allowed to have chicken consomme for dinner that night, which I threw up. I had a full fluids breakfast the next day which surprisingly included a thin porridge, and a terrifically delicious pureed tortilla soup for lunch, though the butterscotch pudding was a huge mistake. Jello simply did not appeal. Nausea after eating was gone by Saturday night, and the possibility of being allowed to go home on Monday looked very promising. 26 staples were removed Saturday afternoon, and four more remained, two of which were holding an abdominal drainage tube in place. The other two were under bandages, and those four were removed Monday when the drainage tube came out. Sunday we discovered that two of my four incisions had opened a little, and I sill have home care nurses coming every other day to "dress my wounds."

I was ready to go by two Monday afternoon, and my daughter was waiting. Her paternal aunt has been great in picking me up from the hospital (twice!) and driving the two of them to pick up my little Luna the night before surgery. I had originally thought I could do it that day, but my body kind of shut down and I was incapable of doing much beyond my full liquid diet and special drinks and antibiotic meds to prepare for surgery the following day. Luna is still at my daughter's place being well cared for in their busy household where there are five other animals outnumbering the four humans. Luna has her own room (the laundry room), and my daughter cannot believe how much she sheds!

From the hospital we went to Capers/Wholefoods and then to Shoppers Drug Mart to fill three prescriptions for me, one of which is blood thinner that I have to jab myself with every day for a couple of weeks *shudders*. The walk from the underground parking to across the street was as much as I could manage. My daughter stayed over night the first night which was lovely, and not just because she did my dishes and some general tidying, and we ordered East Indian food through Skip the Dishes, enjoying butter chicken with naan bread, pakoras, and samosas. We went to bed fairly early and then sat awake together talking in the dark in the middle of the night when I got up for a short time. We were up again at seven and I made coffee for us both, and then she got busy putting a grocery list together and ordering a delivery for me that arrived before she left, as did my fist home care nurse. One came today and I am expecting another on Saturday, and M-W-F of next week, after which it will taper off to twice a week... for how long I do not know.

My spirits are good but I am low on energy, and must move fairly carefully, though I have no problem getting in or out of bed, and am sill taking pain killers at least once a day. I am also still fairly black and blue from being brutalized by I.V.s and what not, blood being taken every day while I was hospitalized. Blood thinners make bruises worse, I'm told.

I am not to lift more than 5 pounds....



My coffee cup may be too large LOL

I received this beautiful bouquet from my boss/workmates today:


^ Taken with my smart phone ^
What an ordeal. Hugs and lots of them...prayers for healing for you and to get your energy back soon. Glad the hard part is over and the recover part is in progress. Hope you can get your Luna back soon for company and I know you miss the purrs. And more hugs sent to you....
 

Kireina

Well-known member
Aug 26, 2020
1,475
1,393
113
During these challenging times of my life ...I just wanna get through the day 🙏🏼


"Thank you Lord JESUS for not leaving me ❤
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
closing up shop at 9pm, the phone rings and someone asks me 'are you open to midnight?'

I go NO. See you tomorrow.

People expect bookshops to be open to midnight? Do people think we dont have homes to go to? Or we sleep in the bookshop?
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,550
17,022
113
69
Tennessee
During these challenging times of my life ...I just wanna get through the day 🙏🏼


"Thank you Lord JESUS for not leaving me ❤
I live one day at a time also. The struggle is real. I will say a prayer for you for a good day today and a brighter tomorrow.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,550
17,022
113
69
Tennessee
closing up shop at 9pm, the phone rings and someone asks me 'are you open to midnight?'

I go NO. See you tomorrow.

People expect bookshops to be open to midnight? Do people think we dont have homes to go to? Or we sleep in the bookshop?
People tend to have unrealistic expectations of people who believe that they should cater to their every whim and desire.
 

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
Oct 31, 2019
1,608
1,317
113
During these challenging times of my life ...I just wanna get through the day 🙏🏼


"Thank you Lord JESUS for not leaving me ❤
Jesus said, “Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you.”

A bruised reed He will not break and a smoking flax He will not put out. x

We are more than conquerers through Him who loves us. ❤️
 

IToreTheSky

Well-known member
Aug 20, 2020
695
528
93
N.Y.
closing up shop at 9pm, the phone rings and someone asks me 'are you open to midnight?'

I go NO. See you tomorrow.

People expect bookshops to be open to midnight? Do people think we dont have homes to go to? Or we sleep in the bookshop?
This used to happen to me when I worked retail,heck even when I was a cook. People come in sometimes even 15 mins before closing and get mad if you don't extend your hours just for them.
I think they really believe that no one else has a life outside their jobs.
*sigh*
I feel your pain Lanolin.
 

up

Banned
Oct 8, 2019
4,175
2,469
113
During these challenging times of my life ...I just wanna get through the day 🙏🏼


"Thank you Lord JESUS for not leaving me ❤
hey, psst, whispers to you...i like your new
picture... very peaceful and pleasant... be blessed beyond your prayers

🙏🙂😊
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,550
17,022
113
69
Tennessee
Jesus said, “Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you.”

A bruised reed He will not break and a smoking flax He will not put out. x

We are more than conquerers through Him who loves us. ❤️
I love that quote from Jesus and find it very comforting.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,550
17,022
113
69
Tennessee
This used to happen to me when I worked retail,heck even when I was a cook. People come in sometimes even 15 mins before closing and get mad if you don't extend your hours just for them.
I think they really believe that no one else has a life outside their jobs.
*sigh*
I feel your pain Lanolin.
You seem to have empathic qualities which is not a bad thing to have. I used to be a cook too. You get the kitchen spotless just before closing then some guy orders a steak well done. Burnt.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,550
17,022
113
69
Tennessee
I do believe that is a hanging offense destroying a perfectly good steak like that.
Not saying that I actually burnt a customer's steak on purpose because I was ticked off but probably thought about though. I prefer med rare for my steaks which I don't eat often enough. :)
 

IToreTheSky

Well-known member
Aug 20, 2020
695
528
93
N.Y.
I have a soft spot for ppl in the food industry. Well,anyone who has to deal with the public face to face. LoL
the last job I was at was for 8 yrs at L.L.Bean working in the call center.
First job I ever had where if ppl were screaming at you being abusive you had the right to politely hang up on them.
I think I only had to do that once.
Best company I ever worked for btw .
Ok trailing off now
LoL I like my cows medium! 🐮😄❤️🐮
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
I like steak and mushroom, with black pepper, medium.
I never complain about any fast food meal I buy because I know the cooks can be rushed off their feet to make them. If its not up to par I dont go back there but I also know that even fast food takes a bit of time.

You need to be a people person in most every job and able most people are actually grateful and like that youve saved them a bit of time, but there are limits of what people can do.

They will never tell you though that they may never get a holiday or break, or have to eat the leftovers in the back kitchen sitting on a crate and then go home and maybe have to face cooking again for their families.
 
May 14, 2019
62
18
8
I work in the fast food industry but I’m only half of a people person. Sometimes it gets so tiring having to talk with people all day. But then at other times my brain sort of wanders while I’m working in the sense that I can be talking to the customers just fine but be thinking about something completely unrelated at the same time. Sometimes it causes me to lose focus, but my brain has kinda adapted to the multitasking😂
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
well in many jobs you dont ever really get a chance to sit down.

my confession such as it is is that im always tempted to share bright ideas and ways to improve things but its not always welcomed by people in charge as they have other priorities. But their focus on other priorities means they and their clients lose out in the long run.

then I feel stupid for having spoken :-(
or even questioned the way things are done. I suppose people dont like it when they are questioned about the decsions they have made (without you) . I might ask WHY, but people often dont bother to tell you WHY NOT.