That's it - sometimes the trials get heavy to bear and you look to God and He doesn't lift them and you begin questioning what you believe. I know what you mean because you can't rewind it - and go back and say you're an unbeliever - but that's where the rub is. God has you in an awkward place. That's about where I'm at. It's a tough place to be but I'm trying to work through it to see what He wants. It's just very hard when no answers come and you just have to kind of block out that He didn't do what Scripture says. One that bothers me is "The wicked shall not live out half their days." But how many evil people do you know - or know of - who are living long lives? I can think of many. So that Scripture doesn't pan out.
These are the things I'm struggling with.
I had a very long trial in the previous decade. Financial struggle, I kind of expected it. But other bad things happened. I didn't give up faith, but it pushed me into deep depression, to a place where I lost hope that things will ever go well. I was still believing, I just felt very beaten down because I had no answer if it would ever end. But I've never let go of Jesus. One can feel cast down, and be overwhelmed, and confused, and grieved, and ask questions, if this is how you feel, you're totally not alone this is true for pretty much all of us. But walking away from Jesus and actually abandoning faith which the thread title suggests, is something else though - really can't say I have been there and people reflect the same in the comments... likely you misworded the title?
There are people who have been very volatile in my life and unfortunately I can't remove them. Over the years, half of the problems, they created it. I just want them to stop but they don't want to stop, no matter how much I pray. People don't change their ways just because I prayed hard. I think I am starting to accept it. It's hard though. They're going to do whatever they're going to do, destroy, and I can't stop them, and God seems to not be stopping them either. But I didn't accept it for many years and kept stressing and praying. Took a while. Lately I started meditating. It doesn't "fix" people around me but it helps. Just resting my mind in God, nothing fancy.
Areas like this is where it gets very difficult to help, simply because it's something you have to work out with yourself... Everyone has their own pace of processing things. Took me unreasonably long time to accept I can't change people, even though I logically know it, but accepting it is a different thing. Also, I thought maybe prayers would be effective, so part of it is maybe "word of faith" teachings that we are being bombarded with (and I'm not even a part of that, but seems everything has influence even when we're not aware). Which generates disappointment and a sense of failure. Not sorry that I prayed, but I wish I pursued peace sooner instead of expecting prayer to "work". I do believe, that you really need to focus on pressing how you feel with God directly. I really believe you won't ultimately stay without a response. When Peter says "to whom else can we go"... Can you go now and live it up the world, seeking money and success, with your eyes open to all its evils? I don't think so...? I can't either. I don't believe it's all about this dimension of existence. This world isn't where life originated from. As overwhelmed as it has us.
When Job answered, "we have received good from God, shall we not also receive evil?" he was answering like a religious person. According to the textbook of what a believer "should" say. Three friends come with advice, shoulda coulda, it doesn't help him. In fact, God didn't like their counsel, maybe He doesn't like what I say either. But it's only after pressing the issue with God that Job gained clarity. And his restoration after that isn't a reward, just like what hit Job before wasn't a punishment. The reality of things seems much more intricate than this, suggested by the answers that God gives Job in the end.
There are factors as... "I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy"... and many other such factors are in play. The verse you're citing, what does it actually mean "He won't prolong?" I read a member on the forum had an accident the whole vehicle got crumpled; they should have been smashed to puree, but had no scratch. This was impossible to happen naturally, I think THIS is
prolonging of days? Maybe it's an intervention to avert something that would otherwise be natural event. But God won't do such for the wicked. Unless He decides to show mercy, so they would come to the know the truth. Then you have also the righteous who are removed, so they are guarded from the evil that's to come. We don't have God's mind to know what bad thing would have happened to them if they stayed alive. Then there are some others who are chosen as martyrs. It's never cut and dry. God often favors mercy and longsuffering as opposed to things panning out, you can see this in the example of Nineveh, when Jonah got angry. There's not only judgment of individuals, but groups also, families, churches and nations, all these judgments overlap. A large wicked group or person can be spared or judgment delayed because of one righteous in the group, or someone interceded in prayer, take Abraham debating with God. God isn't outsmarted by Abraham, God is deliberately teaching us. Then, considering the wicked who harmed His saints fit for judgment, but because God knew some would come out of the group by repenting later, He delays judgment for all people (Rev 6:10-11). Why not simply punish people He knows won't repent? It's not possible because all life is entwined. Tares are not plucked so the wheat isn't plucked out with them. I believe this is why the wicked are not removed, in spite of God's mind being set to remove them.
Matthew 13:29 But he said, Nay; lest while ye gather up the tares, ye root up also the wheat with them.
30 Let both grow together until the harvest: and in the time of harvest I will say to the reapers, Gather ye together first the tares, and bind them in bundles to burn them: but gather the wheat into my barn.
And I've never really thought of it much until now, but "root up" strongly suggests deprive of salvation. If all wicked were punished without holding back, I believe many souls who would otherwise be saved, would be lost in that course of events.