Over the past few months, I've been depressed and that resulted in drifting away from God because no matter how much I prayed or how much I stayed in God's presence, nothing changed. I'm honestly really tired of life and I just find it hard to do things. Unfortunately, I can't see a therapist and talking to ppl doesn't really solve it. I don't know what to do because going to God didn't solve anything and now, I'm just broken all together.
Hey! I so appreciate your vulnerability with us. I want to let you know first and for most that I recognize that and everything that I say has your best interest at heart. I know exactly what you are going through. I remember being severely depressed and in pain every time I read the bible and prayed. I felt disconnected from God and was oppressed with a heavy weight that did not allow me to do anything else. It feels like it takes more strength to get better than you have, and so we dwell in what we are feeling. I want to give you what helped me. The most important thing you can remember about God is that he loves you. He loves you more than you know. You can never be alone with God. I know you might be disappointed from unanswered prayer, an unfruitful life, or even just wrong doings in our lives. But no matter what, God's will for you is that you walk in the position that God has ordained for you in the beginning. For the bible says, "All things work together for the good of those who are
called according to his
purposes for them." (Romans 8:28). I want to direct you to this passage in the bible. i want you to imagine what's going on here. In 2 Samuel, Nathan the prophet just comes to David and tells him that God is angry at him for his evil relationship with Bathsheba and the death of Uriah. God pronounces that David's life will be spared, but he will lose the life of his son. This passage reads, "After Nathan returned to his home, the Lord sent a deadly illness to the child of David and Uriah's wife. David begged God to spare the child. He went without food and lay all night on the bare ground. The elders of his household pleased with him to get up and eat with them, but he refused. The on the seventh day the child died." (vv. 15-18) Can you imagine what David must have been going through. Regardless of his actions, he went to the Lord on behalf of his son. All the emotions he must have felt must have been overwhelming. He could have felt anger, loss, regret, sadness,
depression, yearning, and sorry. He experienced the depression you and I go through, yet it was ten times worse. We feel depression because of what we go through, but he felt it because as a father, seeing his child suffer was much worse than anything happening to him. Side note, the same way David felt about his child, is the same way the Father sees you. He loves you and does not want to lose you or see you in pain. But going on I want you to notice what David does when he ends up losing the child. The bible says, "When David saw them whispering, he realized what had happened. 'Is the child dead?' he asked. 'Yes,' they replied, 'he is dead.'
Then David got up from the ground, washed himself, put on lotions, and changed his clothes. He went to the Tabernacle and worshiped the Lord. After that, he returned to the palace and was served food and ate." (vv. 19-20). David even after everything he felt, noticed that staying in emotion was not going to help him. Him relishing in his depression was not going to help him. So he got up and pimped himself up. This is what I encourage to you. Whenever you feel depression, go to God and pray. Pray about what is bothering you and ask him for help in what you are going through.
Then worship him. Tell him that no matter what he is a good God. Then pick yourself up and go on your day. Go shopping and get some new clothes, or exercise, or make yourself feel good in any clean, holy, and fulfilling way. I promise you that if you show God that you are not going to let depression stop you, he will not let it stop you either, and he will give you the strength to rise victorious. If you have read this whole thing, God bless you and you are awesome. I want to leave you with one last scripture. Habakkuk 3: 17-19 says this:
Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.
19 The Sovereign Lord is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to tread on the heights.
We all love you with the love of Christ. And God loves you even more. I know I will be praying for you and I can't wait for you to share what God does in your life after this!
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