Hey Everyone,
True Believer's recent thread reminded me of something I think about often in the Christian Singles community. We singles are always, always adamantly told to never, ever be unequally yoked in romantic relationships with unbelievers -- and I completely understand that. I am certainly not trying to argue the Bible's wisdom regarding believers marrying only other believers.
But on the flip side (and IToreTheSky's post touched on this,) why doesn't anyone talk about believers who find themselves unequally yoked with other Christian believers?
Let me give you 2 examples.
1. Story #1 -- Molly believes in infant sprinkling baptism, while Matt believes that a believer should be able to request baptism (full submersion, just as it was done in the Bible,) as an act of faith when they are old enough. They both hold true to the basic tenants of faith (salvation through belief in Christ as their Savior,) and since baptism isn't a "major" issue of faith, they decide they'll work around it, respect each other's beliefs, and just get married anyway.
After some time, their son Max is born. Molly, according to her beliefs, wants a full-on christening (infant baptism and naming ceremony) at church, as this is a big part of her beliefs about raising a child in a Godly way, as well as her family expecting them to carry on what they see as a sacred act.
Matt is very uncomfortable with this and doesn't want any of this for his son. He wants Max to be able to choose full submersion baptism as a consenting, acknowledging believer when he is old enough. Molly's family is whispering in disapproval that Matt must not care for the spiritual welfare of his son. After all, what if something happened to little Max? While Molly's family church would never say for sure if a baby would go to heaven or hell (because they would admit to not knowing,) they believe that infant baptism invites the Holy Spirit into the child's heart, and if the child should die before being old enough to understand, this would greatly "up" their chances of getting into heaven.)
Molly and Max find themselves arguing all the time over this, because it's not something they can just keep overlooking.
How do these two young parents resolve this?
2. Story #2 -- Sara has been a believer all her life. She's had a lot of ups and downs with her Christian walk, but she's had the time to experience a lot within her faith. Sam is a relatively new believer who came to Christ 2 years go. He is totally on fire for God and is happily giving away money and belongings to help anyone he encounters who has a need -- after all, he's read it right in the Bible that he should not turn anyone away empty-handed when they ask. However, Sam is running into some trouble himself. He's finding himself a little short on cash because he's giving away so much. But Sam wants to please God with all his heart, and truly believes he's doing the right thing.
Sara loves Sam's giving heart -- it's part of why she falls in love with him -- so they decide to get married. However... Problems begin to emerge because Sam is constantly giving away money and trying to help people. They're short on rent because Sam was trying to help a co-worker who has a drug problem. Sara warns Sam of possibly enabling this person, but Sam tells her God gives everyone a second chance. Sara also tries to talk to Sam about setting a budget and making sure they have enough first, but Sam says that God would say that they should put others before themselves.
Sara has had a long, tumultuous history with trying to help others, and she has learned that boundaries must be set and adhered to for a reason. She also knows that sometimes believers get caught up in works and wind up enabling others to make poor choices. However, Sam won't listen because he hasn't gotten to that point himself and believes he is doing the work of God. In fact, he is talking to her about giving away their car, because they could just get bicycles.
Sara doesn't know what to do. They are falling further into debt, and she doesn't want to undermine his role as the husband and leader of the family. But Sam says that "God will provide," and doesn't think twice about the growing pile of "Past Due" bills on their counter. And it is tearing their marriage apart. Sara no longer feels secure, and wonders if Sam is going to give them away right into homelessness.
Both of these examples are taken from incidences in real life.
I know this thread could easily dissolve into arguments of how to handle baptisms and budgets. However, personal beliefs about these issues are NOT the point of thread. The point of the thread is identifying with one or more of the characters in the story and telling us how you would work this problem out in a peaceful way with your own wife or husband if it were you.
When answering this thread, the questions to focus on are:
* What would you do if you were in this situation? How would you approach the subject in a loving, respectful manner with your spouse?
* What advice would you give to other singles on dating believers who are "equally yoked"?
Frankly, with everything there is to try to "match up" as far as "dating compatibility" goes, I know it must be a humongous miracle ANY time God puts two people together who find a way to make it work.
Our married friends here are more than welcome to tell us how they have handled these matters personally.
I'm looking forward to hearing all of your thoughts, both single and married.
Please remember, this thread is not about posting your position on baptism or finances and trying to convince everyone of what they should believe about them. Rather, it's about overlooking differences in another believer (maybe they're so good-looking, methods of baptism seem to go right out the window at the time,) and how to deal with them on the day of reckoning.
True Believer's recent thread reminded me of something I think about often in the Christian Singles community. We singles are always, always adamantly told to never, ever be unequally yoked in romantic relationships with unbelievers -- and I completely understand that. I am certainly not trying to argue the Bible's wisdom regarding believers marrying only other believers.
But on the flip side (and IToreTheSky's post touched on this,) why doesn't anyone talk about believers who find themselves unequally yoked with other Christian believers?
Let me give you 2 examples.
1. Story #1 -- Molly believes in infant sprinkling baptism, while Matt believes that a believer should be able to request baptism (full submersion, just as it was done in the Bible,) as an act of faith when they are old enough. They both hold true to the basic tenants of faith (salvation through belief in Christ as their Savior,) and since baptism isn't a "major" issue of faith, they decide they'll work around it, respect each other's beliefs, and just get married anyway.
After some time, their son Max is born. Molly, according to her beliefs, wants a full-on christening (infant baptism and naming ceremony) at church, as this is a big part of her beliefs about raising a child in a Godly way, as well as her family expecting them to carry on what they see as a sacred act.
Matt is very uncomfortable with this and doesn't want any of this for his son. He wants Max to be able to choose full submersion baptism as a consenting, acknowledging believer when he is old enough. Molly's family is whispering in disapproval that Matt must not care for the spiritual welfare of his son. After all, what if something happened to little Max? While Molly's family church would never say for sure if a baby would go to heaven or hell (because they would admit to not knowing,) they believe that infant baptism invites the Holy Spirit into the child's heart, and if the child should die before being old enough to understand, this would greatly "up" their chances of getting into heaven.)
Molly and Max find themselves arguing all the time over this, because it's not something they can just keep overlooking.
How do these two young parents resolve this?
2. Story #2 -- Sara has been a believer all her life. She's had a lot of ups and downs with her Christian walk, but she's had the time to experience a lot within her faith. Sam is a relatively new believer who came to Christ 2 years go. He is totally on fire for God and is happily giving away money and belongings to help anyone he encounters who has a need -- after all, he's read it right in the Bible that he should not turn anyone away empty-handed when they ask. However, Sam is running into some trouble himself. He's finding himself a little short on cash because he's giving away so much. But Sam wants to please God with all his heart, and truly believes he's doing the right thing.
Sara loves Sam's giving heart -- it's part of why she falls in love with him -- so they decide to get married. However... Problems begin to emerge because Sam is constantly giving away money and trying to help people. They're short on rent because Sam was trying to help a co-worker who has a drug problem. Sara warns Sam of possibly enabling this person, but Sam tells her God gives everyone a second chance. Sara also tries to talk to Sam about setting a budget and making sure they have enough first, but Sam says that God would say that they should put others before themselves.
Sara has had a long, tumultuous history with trying to help others, and she has learned that boundaries must be set and adhered to for a reason. She also knows that sometimes believers get caught up in works and wind up enabling others to make poor choices. However, Sam won't listen because he hasn't gotten to that point himself and believes he is doing the work of God. In fact, he is talking to her about giving away their car, because they could just get bicycles.
Sara doesn't know what to do. They are falling further into debt, and she doesn't want to undermine his role as the husband and leader of the family. But Sam says that "God will provide," and doesn't think twice about the growing pile of "Past Due" bills on their counter. And it is tearing their marriage apart. Sara no longer feels secure, and wonders if Sam is going to give them away right into homelessness.
Both of these examples are taken from incidences in real life.
I know this thread could easily dissolve into arguments of how to handle baptisms and budgets. However, personal beliefs about these issues are NOT the point of thread. The point of the thread is identifying with one or more of the characters in the story and telling us how you would work this problem out in a peaceful way with your own wife or husband if it were you.
When answering this thread, the questions to focus on are:
* What would you do if you were in this situation? How would you approach the subject in a loving, respectful manner with your spouse?
* What advice would you give to other singles on dating believers who are "equally yoked"?
Frankly, with everything there is to try to "match up" as far as "dating compatibility" goes, I know it must be a humongous miracle ANY time God puts two people together who find a way to make it work.
Our married friends here are more than welcome to tell us how they have handled these matters personally.
I'm looking forward to hearing all of your thoughts, both single and married.
Please remember, this thread is not about posting your position on baptism or finances and trying to convince everyone of what they should believe about them. Rather, it's about overlooking differences in another believer (maybe they're so good-looking, methods of baptism seem to go right out the window at the time,) and how to deal with them on the day of reckoning.
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