Hi everyone, I've been struggling with my conflicting thoughts about my relationship, need Godly advice please. I've been dating this guy for a year now and we are in a long distance relationship. He's divorced and I've never been married before. He claims to be a Christian and he says he believes in Jesus, but I have a few concerns. 1. He listens to the 'audio version of the Bible' but I have never seen him read the Bible, or use a hard copy or never carries one to church. 2. He prays but I have never seen him kneeling down, and he doesn't end the prayer in Jesus name. I tried to explain to him why it is important to end a prayer in Jesus name but he never did that even after I mentioned it.
need advice on my relationship
- Thread starter Priyankameru
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Show me where the bible says you can't listen to it instead. Some people have a hard time reading, or focusing or even absorbing things visually. They learn and absorb better audibly. Why should such people be judged an ideal you've fabricated as important?
Most Christians I've ever known, in 30+ years i have never witnessed praying on their knees. In fact I'd wager to say most don't. Again. I see no biblical mandate. And those that do probably aren't doing it in front of others. Praying, as the bible mentions, is not meant to be a public display to show people how spiritual you are. It seems perhaps he's learned more listening to the Bible than you have reading it.
I have to wonder if God is really up there refusing to answer prayer because someone didn't end it with three words.
Quite honestly this all seems rather judgmental and nit picking. And quite works oriented.
If you're really that obsessed with him following a list of guidelines You expect then leave him. Expecting someone to confirm to your demands is a poor way to start things off. As is the mentality of trying to change someone to be the version of themselves You want them to be. It's already proven that is a massive roadblock to a happy relationship.
If you can't be happy with him for who is IS and not who you Think he Can be, then it won't last. Because you aren't even interested in who he IS, but you've created an idea of who you want and trying to mold him into your ideal will fail.
Most Christians I've ever known, in 30+ years i have never witnessed praying on their knees. In fact I'd wager to say most don't. Again. I see no biblical mandate. And those that do probably aren't doing it in front of others. Praying, as the bible mentions, is not meant to be a public display to show people how spiritual you are. It seems perhaps he's learned more listening to the Bible than you have reading it.
I have to wonder if God is really up there refusing to answer prayer because someone didn't end it with three words.
Quite honestly this all seems rather judgmental and nit picking. And quite works oriented.
If you're really that obsessed with him following a list of guidelines You expect then leave him. Expecting someone to confirm to your demands is a poor way to start things off. As is the mentality of trying to change someone to be the version of themselves You want them to be. It's already proven that is a massive roadblock to a happy relationship.
If you can't be happy with him for who is IS and not who you Think he Can be, then it won't last. Because you aren't even interested in who he IS, but you've created an idea of who you want and trying to mold him into your ideal will fail.
Thanks for sharing your concerns here. It is hard when we feel things are normal
Christian practices and others professing to also be Christian do not find them relevant. If these things are that important to you, have you asked him gently and with an open attitude why he does not feel they are important for a Christian. What was his response if so?
If you both do not share the same views in these areas, and especially if you can’t discuss and resolve the matter now, it is likely there May be other areas as well as these that will cause serious conflict as you spend more time together or get married. These differences do not just go away. or fix themselves by ignoring them: as you must know.
It is really important to know why things are important to us, and to honour our consciences if we see they are in line with Gods word. It is also really important to know what the bible clearly demands of us as believers and what is just our preference or our traditions... our learned way or doing things.
There are many things we can disagree on as believers in the Second category. The things you spoke of would fit that category I think. The real question is can you accept living and fellow shipping and worshipping etc with someone who has differing convictions on traditional
Methods of reading and praying, and are there more differences you need to know about now before you allow the relationship to continue any further, as you don’t want to find out about them years or months later if they will
Become a big dividing issue or will
Grieve your conscience too much.
Don’t let anyone speak evil of your convictions, and if that is all the differences are then please don’t think badly of him for his convictions, but please ask yourself if this person Trusts entirely in and loves Christ, and Serves and loves fellowman and lives for God, and honours the word to the best of his ability. If the fruit is there, he is as much a child of a God as any believer is.
If the answer is yes then the only issue lies with you and if you can live with someone following different methods/traditions etc.
If the answer is no, if he has not got these fruits, then it won’t matter how much he tows the line with methods and traditions, it will be an unequal yoke if you love and live for God.
I hope this helps somehow. The Lord bless you and give you wisdom
Christian practices and others professing to also be Christian do not find them relevant. If these things are that important to you, have you asked him gently and with an open attitude why he does not feel they are important for a Christian. What was his response if so?
If you both do not share the same views in these areas, and especially if you can’t discuss and resolve the matter now, it is likely there May be other areas as well as these that will cause serious conflict as you spend more time together or get married. These differences do not just go away. or fix themselves by ignoring them: as you must know.
It is really important to know why things are important to us, and to honour our consciences if we see they are in line with Gods word. It is also really important to know what the bible clearly demands of us as believers and what is just our preference or our traditions... our learned way or doing things.
There are many things we can disagree on as believers in the Second category. The things you spoke of would fit that category I think. The real question is can you accept living and fellow shipping and worshipping etc with someone who has differing convictions on traditional
Methods of reading and praying, and are there more differences you need to know about now before you allow the relationship to continue any further, as you don’t want to find out about them years or months later if they will
Become a big dividing issue or will
Grieve your conscience too much.
Don’t let anyone speak evil of your convictions, and if that is all the differences are then please don’t think badly of him for his convictions, but please ask yourself if this person Trusts entirely in and loves Christ, and Serves and loves fellowman and lives for God, and honours the word to the best of his ability. If the fruit is there, he is as much a child of a God as any believer is.
If the answer is yes then the only issue lies with you and if you can live with someone following different methods/traditions etc.
If the answer is no, if he has not got these fruits, then it won’t matter how much he tows the line with methods and traditions, it will be an unequal yoke if you love and live for God.
I hope this helps somehow. The Lord bless you and give you wisdom