seeking approval...why?

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Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
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#41
But it doesnt say about caring what others think of YOU. It is talking about caring how people regard God.
If you dont give God the glory, all you are doing is glorifying yourself which is what satan tries to do.

It actually IS about motivation. Do you read the same Bible I do? In context not just soundbites? Just wondering.
Winning the respect of others is all about you - your behavior.

According to you, Jesus disobeyed God and sinned. Jesus in my Bible is sinless :)
 
Aug 16, 2020
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#42
I always find Christian answers to such questions dubious. Everyone has the same answer and there is very little openness, honesty or anything personal when Christians speak on such matters.
Everyone is quick to hit the "i don't have this problem" button. And previously I always believed peoples answers. And as a Christian that struggled a lot constantly seeing all these people answering such questions and proclaiming they don't struggle intimidated me and made my struggles worse.

Eventually I learned to stop taking people, especially on social media, and especially especially Christians, at face value. Half the people on this site act as if they're essentially sinless or lacking in any way. And yet I've learned people who talk the biggest hide the most struggles.
A perfect example is a user that used to be on this site. They seemed to have it all together. I found them to be very intimidating to me due to my own struggles. I got to know them only to find out they were a bit of a mess. They had simply become an expert at hiding all that was wrong and coming across as very personally and spiritually mature.
And that's often what Christian culture teaches. Don't show struggles. Don't show flaws. Appear perfect no matter how much it hurts.

And commonly when I make such posts there is a flurry of people desperate to argue to prove how true what they said was. Thereby calling themselves out.

If you're reading this and intimated by all those who have transcended their struggles, don't be. It's not true. Lots of people struggle with all kinds of things, few will admit it.
And I admit it myself I can struggle with the issue presented in this thread. So if you do too, don't feel bad, you aren't alone.
Your response made me sad to know that there are Christians who think they have everything together and are better/sinless, I think that is a extremely unhealthy mindset. Just because life seems good now, or you got over issues, doesn’t mean that you will not struggle or have something bad happen. I was talking to my therapist about my grandmother, cause the direction of the conservation went, and I cried talking about her. I thought I was over it, not saying that to be mean, my grandmother died after a 2 year battle with Bone cancer, and at the end, she couldn’t walk, couldn’t write, and had a hard time with everything. I cried at the funeral and have been thinking that I’m glad my grandmother is no longer in pain, and is in Heaven.

But I realized me crying means I still miss her, hell I just started crying while typing this. I’ll probably never have everything fully well and together, not saying that to put me down, but memories exist, I remember the happy times I had with my grandmother which brings up the sadness. Even though I wanna say she’s been dead for the last 2-3 years, it still clearly effects me. Trying to harden myself from pain is my best coping method.

I have God, I struggle to remember to pray, but I fully believe in him, and have been studying his word with bible studies, but I’m human, we are all human and flawed, no one is truly “all together” and well, until we get to heaven.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
61,166
30,313
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#43
But it doesnt say about caring what others think of YOU. It is talking about caring how people regard God.
If you dont give God the glory, all you are doing is glorifying yourself which is what satan tries to do.

It actually IS about motivation. Do you read the same Bible I do? In context not just soundbites? Just wondering.
Also, it has zero to do with how outsiders view God, and does not say in any way what you claim. Avoiding every appearance of evil has to do with how your behavior is perceived by others, and we are told to conduct ourselves in a way that is above reproach. That necessitates caring about what others think of you, not what others think of God. I wonder where you even get that idea :unsure:
 
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#44
To the question of the OP:

I particularly don’t think I care what others think about me, as in what it comes to what I wear, but I do care for others to respect me. You respect me, I’ll respect you.

I would say I still struggle with the mindset of having life all together, you see my mom gets upset if I’m to work late, so sometimes I’ve lied saying I wasn’t late or slightly lied saying I was 5 mins late, when I was actually 8 mins late. She hasn’t asked me in awhile, but with how good I was in school, and needing to keep up getting A or B grades, I guess put that kind of mentality in me. Not saying I’m against how my mom and dad raised me, cause they want me to succeed and do good in life, you need a drive to better yourself and to seek things like grades, that’s why I judged all the kids in school, “If you are here to talk, then why are you here? You can talk to your friends at home”. But that was young me being naive and missing the bigger picture, how important it is to have relationships like friendship.

I haven’t lied in awhile, and it’s something I try to repent away, for lies make life way worse, trust me I know, also keeping stuff from your parents is awful too by the way, still haven’t told my mom I was almost fired at my first job, I guess out of fear and not wanting “My mom to go mom on me”, lol. I feel like with age I have become wiser, but I still have more growing up to do, like finding that full time job and whatnot.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
61,166
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#45
It actually IS about motivation. Do you read the same Bible I do? In context not just soundbites? Just wondering.
Yes, and I did not deny that at all, though you fail to understand that "regardless of motivation" acknowledges such. Your motivation for such a remark concerning which Bibles we read and how I read mine is highly suspect, and not above reproach, just as your asserting that Jesus sinned is to be soundly renounced. The Jesus you promote is not anywhere to be found in any of the Scriptures I read.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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#46
Winning the respect of others is all about you - your behavior.

According to you, Jesus disobeyed God and sinned. Jesus in my Bible is sinless :)
no dont put words in my mouth I did not say. Stop it right now.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
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#47
To the question of the OP:

I particularly don’t think I care what others think about me, as in what it comes to what I wear, but I do care for others to respect me. You respect me, I’ll respect you.

I would say I still struggle with the mindset of having life all together, you see my mom gets upset if I’m to work late, so sometimes I’ve lied saying I wasn’t late or slightly lied saying I was 5 mins late, when I was actually 8 mins late. She hasn’t asked me in awhile, but with how good I was in school, and needing to keep up getting A or B grades, I guess put that kind of mentality in me. Not saying I’m against how my mom and dad raised me, cause they want me to succeed and do good in life, you need a drive to better yourself and to seek things like grades, that’s why I judged all the kids in school, “If you are here to talk, then why are you here? You can talk to your friends at home”. But that was young me being naive and missing the bigger picture, how important it is to have relationships like friendship.

I haven’t lied in awhile, and it’s something I try to repent away, for lies make life way worse, trust me I know, also keeping stuff from your parents is awful too by the way, still haven’t told my mom I was almost fired at my first job, I guess out of fear and not wanting “My mom to go mom on me”, lol. I feel like with age I have become wiser, but I still have more growing up to do, like finding that full time job and whatnot.
thats sad I dont know why your mum would be so upset, sometimes work actually requires us to stay longer, it cant be helped as it is what it is.

actually, you cant talk to your friends at home cos your friends are NOT at your home. so that dont make sense lol. But you can talk to your friends in your break.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
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#48
no dont put words in my mouth I did not say. Stop it right now.
You did say that. I even quoted you on it at the time... Deny it all you like. Doesn't change a thing :)
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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#49
with the school grading system, which is weird as it kinda makes people cheat and lie...very shocked that people would say well I get someone else to do my homework if I pay them kind of thing happened.


I think whats more important is you seek God first and His kingdom and righteousness, and everything will be added unto you.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
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#50
You did say that. I even quoted you on it at the time... Deny it all you like. Doesn't change a thing :)
nope it was not a quote you are lying and you know it. where did i say Jesus disobeyed God. Nowhere.
 
Aug 16, 2020
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#51
thats sad I dont know why your mum would be so upset, sometimes work actually requires us to stay longer, it cant be helped as it is what it is.

actually, you cant talk to your friends at home cos your friends are NOT at your home. so that dont make sense lol. But you can talk to your friends in your break.
No, I was supposed to be at work by 1pm, I would be late at 1:08pm, completely inexcusable, but I need to better myself. Sometimes I get distracted and don’t get ready on time, sometimes CC has distracted me, just being honest.

No kids have phones, kids in middle school have phones, I don’t agree with it but, there are many ways to connect and talk, even back when I was in middle school. Kids will go walking home together if they live in the same direction, my brother and sister had friends over, sometimes even when school was over, so no, no excuses.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
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#52
nope it was not a quote you are lying and you know it.
What I know is that you are incorrigible, make up stuff and say it is Biblical, and deny what the Bible actually says.
 
Aug 16, 2020
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#53
with the school grading system, which is weird as it kinda makes people cheat and lie...very shocked that people would say well I get someone else to do my homework if I pay them kind of thing happened.


I think whats more important is you seek God first and His kingdom and righteousness, and everything will be added unto you.
Yeah, if they find out a essay you write was not your own, which is easy with internet resources, they will give you an F. It is important to keep up grades to pass the class, but I think learning is important more so than the grades now that I’m older, even some of my teachers told me that. I started getting bad grades not from cheating, but from being lazy, and stopped caring. I was like “I’m okay getting a 70, still passing the class” which is not a good mindset, that mindset led me to fail 2 college classes. I graduated, but at least a year later from what I wanted.
 

up

Banned
Oct 8, 2019
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#54
we are all here to be light or even some light to those that really are lost and do not have Jesus, as their Personal Savior
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#55
magenta, give it up.

sorry, I dont know why you feel the need to judge on people and put words in their mouth they actually did not say.

weird. are you like this with everyone? do people in your life need to seek your approval because you deem yourself always right? Think about it how damaging that is.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#56
Yeah, if they find out a essay you write was not your own, which is easy with internet resources, they will give you an F. It is important to keep up grades to pass the class, but I think learning is important more so than the grades now that I’m older, even some of my teachers told me that. I started getting bad grades not from cheating, but from being lazy, and stopped caring. I was like “I’m okay getting a 70, still passing the class” which is not a good mindset, that mindset led me to fail 2 college classes. I graduated, but at least a year later from what I wanted.
here, what happens is you just pass or not yet achieved. you only fail if you give you give up, as most classes are set to to help you pass. If you do something wrong you can try again and the teachers will help you. mistakes are part of the learning process. To be a teacher you need to be very patient, not wveryone will get it the first time.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#57
we are all here to be light or even some light to those that really are lost and do not have Jesus, as their Personal Savior
its good to shine your light to help others find Him.
The ones in darkness need to have their lamps lit, that is all. Be an inspiration.
 
Aug 16, 2020
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#58
here, what happens is you just pass or not yet achieved. you only fail if you give you give up, as most classes are set to to help you pass. If you do something wrong you can try again and the teachers will help you. mistakes are part of the learning process. To be a teacher you need to be very patient, not wveryone will get it the first time.
I never reached out to tutoring or my teacher, I failed a big project because it was “Build this room with the skills you have” (It was a 3D modeling class, level 2 might I add, higher difficulty), but I didn’t know how to do anything. I would rather be shown how to build a couch, rather than trying to figure it out.

3D Modeling is not easy, it requires patience, patience that I lack sometimes, so I just always had a problem reaching out for help in School. I used to have Aides, that would help, but once they were gone in the 9th grade, I got this sense of “I need to grow up, and mange my school life. Can’t rely on help”
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
61,166
30,313
113
#59
magenta, give it up.

sorry, I dont know why you feel the need to judge on people and put words in their mouth they actually did not say.

weird. are you like this with everyone? do people in your life need to seek your approval because you deem yourself always right? Think about it how damaging that is.
That's ironic coming from you, who is sitting in judgment of me refusing right now to admit you are wrong, just as you have in the past.

I expect no less from you, though ;)

Which is one reason I rarely respond to you.

However, when you are egregiously wrong as you have been, I feel compelled to call you on it.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
61,166
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#60
What do you make of Jesus s use of repentance, when he says ' he repented and went " ? its saying he ' changed his mind...and then went.
no it means obeyed and went, i.e did what he was told to do, the right thing.

Before, he disobeyed and didnt go. It wasnt just he changed his mind, because the father had requsted him to do something, it wasnt just that he suddently thought 'oh thats a good idea'
he was sinning by refusing to go.
Right there you claim Jesus sinned. So, ho hum, I am not lying, nor am I putting words in your mouth.

You, on the other hand? Yeah. Liar. On multiple fronts.

Denying what you said changes nothing.