Prayer to forgive my father

[Ann-Marie]

My father was abusive in every way (not sexual). He continued his abuse even after I grew up and married ... it became verbal. It has been difficult to say the least. Now he is much older & I dont know how much time he has left at his advanced age.

I keep trying to forgive him and, somehow, he will say another abusive/hurtful thing and I am angry again. I pray and pray because I want to forgive him completely but the hurt is still there. Often dont want to even talk to him, but I do because I feel guilty if I don't. So my prayers need others' prayers that I finally let go of my anger & hurt. I dont want to have guilt on top of grief when he passes. Any suggestions/prayers/anything will be greatly appreciated.

Thank you and keeping you all in my prayers.

 

[crmvet]

Philippians 4:6-7

 

[Encouragement]

Hello Anne-Marie nice of you to be here on C.C and for posting this prayer request.There are many abusive fathers around who are either verbally agreesive or physically aggressive and more .
The first thing to make you know it that the hurt and anger you have inside you is the direct consequence of how he has been and anyone in your situation would most definitely be feeling just how you do so dont beat yourself up for the hurt and anger you feel at times..This isnt case of saying your shouldnt be feeling anger or hurt.God knows exactly what's gone on over the years and know the context of how internally affected you have been.
The second thing is to be aware that this seems to be a spiritual battle.The enemie knows you want to forgive him ect and is seeking to use him against you by re offending you again and again to keep the pain alive within you.Then try and condemn you in your mind if he may say..."oh I though you were ment to forgive him ect.."
This may help you not see your father attacking you but the enemie using him against you inorder to deceive you somehow through the upset that it causes.
Internal wounds are just like physical wounds..the deeper the wound...the more the pain...the longer it takes to heal.Any doc or nurse will say that wounds need to be free from infection inorder to heal properly..and this is the same with internal wounds..bitterness,anger,hatred,unforgiveness are like spiritual infections to internal wounds and can keep hurts alive and intensify the pain.
So forgiveness will definitely be part of your inner healing...When we forgive someone the pain they cause doesnt always magically disappear.Yet it leaves the wounds free from infection and with Gods healing touch healing does come by his spirit.

Forgiveness can at times be a battle to walk in and due to his abusive way..its like one step forward 2 steps back.Pray for God to let him change and have boundaries with him to alter the interaction where possible.Engage with him in a different way to avoid
The relationship with him seems to be toxic from his part and rely on God to get you through this.Your father is not a Christian I gather?Resist the enemies tactic to make you talk to him out of guilt..thats the enemies way to seek to make you feel its wrong to withdraw cox ur upset and hurt...but you can talk to him in "jesus name" when you feel like doing it as God leads.

 

[tourist]

My father was abusive in every way (not sexual). He continued his abuse even after I grew up and married ... it became verbal. It has been difficult to say the least. Now he is much older & I dont know how much time he has left at his advanced age.

I keep trying to forgive him and, somehow, he will say another abusive/hurtful thing and I am angry again. I pray and pray because I want to forgive him completely but the hurt is still there. Often dont want to even talk to him, but I do because I feel guilty if I don't. So my prayers need others' prayers that I finally let go of my anger & hurt. I dont want to have guilt on top of grief when he passes. Any suggestions/prayers/anything will be greatly appreciated.

Thank you and keeping you all in my prayers.

Forgiving your father would benefit you more than it will him. Anger and bitterness is like a cancer eroding you inside out. I will say a prayer for God to remove the anger and hurt from you.

 

[Encouragement]

My father was abusive in every way (not sexual). He continued his abuse even after I grew up and married ... it became verbal. It has been difficult to say the least. Now he is much older & I dont know how much time he has left at his advanced age.

I keep trying to forgive him and, somehow, he will say another abusive/hurtful thing and I am angry again. I pray and pray because I want to forgive him completely but the hurt is still there. Often dont want to even talk to him, but I do because I feel guilty if I don't. So my prayers need others' prayers that I finally let go of my anger & hurt. I dont want to have guilt on top of grief when he passes. Any suggestions/prayers/anything will be greatly appreciated.

Thank you and keeping you all in my prayers.

I did a thread on the same subject line called "The person/persons who are the root cause of your problem"...just a few days ago..There may also be content with that thread by the comments made by me and others that may also lift your spirits too.You're not on your own in this.God is with you and you have us to stand with you ok.👍👍😊😊

 

[bojack]

My father was abusive in every way (not sexual). He continued his abuse even after I grew up and married ... it became verbal. It has been difficult to say the least. Now he is much older & I dont know how much time he has left at his advanced age.

I keep trying to forgive him and, somehow, he will say another abusive/hurtful thing and I am angry again. I pray and pray because I want to forgive him completely but the hurt is still there. Often dont want to even talk to him, but I do because I feel guilty if I don't. So my prayers need others' prayers that I finally let go of my anger & hurt. I dont want to have guilt on top of grief when he passes. Any suggestions/prayers/anything will be greatly appreciated.

Thank you and keeping you all in my prayers.

Well you can't be accused of not bringing honor to him whether you are around him or not by your conduct .. I pray that Jesus lift you above it all to a higher plain of anointing , that you can dismiss the abuse and rise above it if you can't get away from it , ''they know not what they do'' .. I have a couple family members that I have to love from afar or either get pulled into their constant vexing turmoil ..

 

[levi85]

Lord help Ann-Marie, and dad to forgive one another, and have peace, respect and love for one another. Lord heal their heart and heal their relationship. Lord let you change Ann-Marie' s dad's behaviour towards her, let it be full of love & care and let no abusive and hurtful word come out of her dad's mouth from her. Lord bless this prayer request, in Jesus Holy name, Amen!

 

[Ann-Marie]

I did a thread on the same subject line called "The person/persons who are the root cause of your problem"...just a few days ago..There may also be content with that thread by the comments made by me and others that may also lift your spirits too.You're not on your own in this.God is with you and you have us to stand with you ok.👍👍😊😊

Thank you for responding. Can you link me to it .. not to computer savvy.

My thanks to everyone ... never expected so many responses.

 

[Ann-Marie]

Hello Anne-Marie nice of you to be here on C.C and for posting this prayer request.There are many abusive fathers around who are either verbally agreesive or physically aggressive and more .
The first thing to make you know it that the hurt and anger you have inside you is the direct consequence of how he has been and anyone in your situation would most definitely be feeling just how you do so dont beat yourself up for the hurt and anger you feel at times..This isnt case of saying your shouldnt be feeling anger or hurt.God knows exactly what's gone on over the years and know the context of how internally affected you have been.
The second thing is to be aware that this seems to be a spiritual battle.The enemie knows you want to forgive him ect and is seeking to use him against you by re offending you again and again to keep the pain alive within you.Then try and condemn you in your mind if he may say..."oh I though you were ment to forgive him ect.."
This may help you not see your father attacking you but the enemie using him against you inorder to deceive you somehow through the upset that it causes.
Internal wounds are just like physical wounds..the deeper the wound...the more the pain...the longer it takes to heal.Any doc or nurse will say that wounds need to be free from infection inorder to heal properly..and this is the same with internal wounds..bitterness,anger,hatred,unforgiveness are like spiritual infections to internal wounds and can keep hurts alive and intensify the pain.
So forgiveness will definitely be part of your inner healing...When we forgive someone the pain they cause doesnt always magically disappear.Yet it leaves the wounds free from infection and with Gods healing touch healing does come by his spirit.

Forgiveness can at times be a battle to walk in and due to his abusive way..its like one step forward 2 steps back.Pray for God to let him change and have boundaries with him to alter the interaction where possible.Engage with him in a different way to avoid
The relationship with him seems to be toxic from his part and rely on God to get you through this.Your father is not a Christian I gather?Resist the enemies tactic to make you talk to him out of guilt..thats the enemies way to seek to make you feel its wrong to withdraw cox ur upset and hurt...but you can talk to him in "jesus name" when you feel like doing it as God leads.

Thank you so much. I am also trying hard to tell him he needs to repent (not for what he has done to me) but that we all need to ... he is agnostic. This is very hard. I just sent him some things from the Bible and hope he will read them. He keeps saying "do you love me". to say yes is to lie ... I say yes, but it is a very quet yes.

 

[Ann-Marie]

Lord help Ann-Marie, and dad to forgive one another, and have peace, respect and love for one another. Lord heal their heart and heal their relationship. Lord let you change Ann-Marie' s dad's behaviour towards her, let it be full of love & care and let no abusive and hurtful word come out of her dad's mouth from her. Lord bless this prayer request, in Jesus Holy name, Amen!

thank you for you kind prayers.

 

[Ann-Marie]

Hello Anne-Marie nice of you to be here on C.C and for posting this prayer request.There are many abusive fathers around who are either verbally agreesive or physically aggressive and more .
The first thing to make you know it that the hurt and anger you have inside you is the direct consequence of how he has been and anyone in your situation would most definitely be feeling just how you do so dont beat yourself up for the hurt and anger you feel at times..This isnt case of saying your shouldnt be feeling anger or hurt.God knows exactly what's gone on over the years and know the context of how internally affected you have been.
The second thing is to be aware that this seems to be a spiritual battle.The enemie knows you want to forgive him ect and is seeking to use him against you by re offending you again and again to keep the pain alive within you.Then try and condemn you in your mind if he may say..."oh I though you were ment to forgive him ect.."
This may help you not see your father attacking you but the enemie using him against you inorder to deceive you somehow through the upset that it causes.
Internal wounds are just like physical wounds..the deeper the wound...the more the pain...the longer it takes to heal.Any doc or nurse will say that wounds need to be free from infection inorder to heal properly..and this is the same with internal wounds..bitterness,anger,hatred,unforgiveness are like spiritual infections to internal wounds and can keep hurts alive and intensify the pain.
So forgiveness will definitely be part of your inner healing...When we forgive someone the pain they cause doesnt always magically disappear.Yet it leaves the wounds free from infection and with Gods healing touch healing does come by his spirit.

Forgiveness can at times be a battle to walk in and due to his abusive way..its like one step forward 2 steps back.Pray for God to let him change and have boundaries with him to alter the interaction where possible.Engage with him in a different way to avoid
The relationship with him seems to be toxic from his part and rely on God to get you through this.Your father is not a Christian I gather?Resist the enemies tactic to make you talk to him out of guilt..thats the enemies way to seek to make you feel its wrong to withdraw cox ur upset and hurt...but you can talk to him in "jesus name" when you feel like doing it as God leads.

All so true. thank you so much.

 

[PennEd]

Thank you so much. I am also trying hard to tell him he needs to repent (not for what he has done to me) but that we all need to ... he is agnostic. This is very hard. I just sent him some things from the Bible and hope he will read them. He keeps saying "do you love me". to say yes is to lie ... I say yes, but it is a very quet yes.

I know it’s hard, but if we can view people that are mean and abusive as the hurting broken people they are, it may be easier to forgive and love them. Cause after all, that’s what Jesus does for each and every one of us.

My friend knows a guy who has an insanely verbally abusive wife. He couldn’t believe how she treated and talked to him right in front of him.
This man always was joyful and had a smile no matter how she treated him.

So my friend asked him how he does it. It turns out he had a near death experience where he claims he was actually in Jesus’ Presence.

That moment is all he thinks about in every situation in life.

I pray that we could ALL have the daily reminder of what and Who is waiting for us. It will make this present suffering not worthy to be remembered.

 

[Encouragement]

All so true. thank you so much.

you're most welcome.It's the very least I can do.Now you know you are not totally alone in your situation...far from it..the whole of heaven is behind you...and so are we..If anyone is alone it's your father..But the grace of God is hovering over him through the prayers of others..
satan is terrified that he might be saved by God through you so will urn up the heat to prevent you getting close to him by attacking you at your in the vulnerable area....historical wounds from historical abuse...
God will make away...His abuse is a smoke screen to his the real man inside who is lost,broken,self deceived and without hope his abusive manner is not his strength but his weakness...your endurance is a manifestation of your long suffering....God has kept you thus far....the end is definitely in sight.You're gonna make it in jesus name.💪💪

 

[Bingo]

"I pray you fully understand that resentment is a heavy burden to carry, and
to harbor resentment is never productive, being an emotion that hinders the
ability to hope for a positive attitude towards God. Their are things we must
accept for our own well being to be better intact. And, every story has a story
within the story, meaning your entire story, only you know the full details.
I hope you come to grips with yourself in a positive way, and never give up on hope
of a better family relationship, and to be reminded of God's 'principles' of life...
one of being love, and also forgiveness being essential also."
'Amen'
'Praise God'

 

[Encouragement]

Thank you for responding. Can you link me to it .. not to computer savvy.

My thanks to everyone ... never expected so many responses.

Awwww your welcome.Yes i will attect you to that thread...i prau that God builds you up on the inside.💪💪🙏🏻👍👍

 

[Godsgirl83]

Thank you for responding. Can you link me to it .. not to computer savvy.

My thanks to everyone ... never expected so many responses.

Awwww your welcome.Yes i will attect you to that thread...i prau that God builds you up on the inside.💪💪🙏🏻👍👍

I just saw @Encouragement post/tag in his thread.

in case the @ tag doesn't flag and notify Ann-Marie (it's happened to me and some that I've tried tagging), here is the clickable link:

https://christianchat.com/christian...-root-cause-of-your-pain.194930/#post-4378300

 

[Ann-Marie]

I know it’s hard, but if we can view people that are mean and abusive as the hurting broken people they are, it may be easier to forgive and love them. Cause after all, that’s what Jesus does for each and every one of us.

My friend knows a guy who has an insanely verbally abusive wife. He couldn’t believe how she treated and talked to him right in front of him.
This man always was joyful and had a smile no matter how she treated him.

So my friend asked him how he does it. It turns out he had a near death experience where he claims he was actually in Jesus’ Presence.

That moment is all he thinks about in every situation in life.

I pray that we could ALL have the daily reminder of what and Who is waiting for us. It will make this present suffering not worthy to be remembered.

I know it’s hard, but if we can view people that are mean and abusive as the hurting broken people they are, it may be easier to forgive and love them. Cause after all, that’s what Jesus does for each and every one of us.

My friend knows a guy who has an insanely verbally abusive wife. He couldn’t believe how she treated and talked to him right in front of him.
This man always was joyful and had a smile no matter how she treated him.

So my friend asked him how he does it. It turns out he had a near death experience where he claims he was actually in Jesus’ Presence.

That moment is all he thinks about in every situation in life.

I pray that we could ALL have the daily reminder of what and Who is waiting for us. It will make this present suffering not worthy to be remembered.

know it’s hard, but if we can view people that are mean and abusive as the hurting broken people they are, it may be easier to forgive and love them. Cause after all, that’s what Jesus does for each and every one of us.

My friend knows a guy who has an insanely verbally abusive wife. He couldn’t believe how she treated and talked to him right in front of him.
This man always was joyful and had a smile no matter how she treated him.

So my friend asked him how he does it. It turns out he had a near death experience where he claims he was actually in Jesus’ Presence.

That moment is all he thinks about in every situation in life.

I pray that we could ALL have the daily reminder of what and Who is waiting for us. It will make this present suffering not worthy to be remembered.

Thank you, @PennEd . I think you are probably right ... he is broken. I thought it was me as a child, but I know that no child deserves abuse ... and I do mean real abuse.
I will pray more. I asked him if he has repented and he has said yes. He says he prays to Jesus every night. I hope so. I will see what he makes of the latest Scripture I have sent him. I will keep reminding him how important all of this is ... he must make peace. He is not long for this world. He know it. He is afraid.

Ps: I am a strong believer that your friend saw what he saw. I have had one absolute experience in my life. The feeling of complete calm/joy/oh I can't even describe it. I felt it,but I did not actually see Jesus. But I knew.
Ann Marie

 

[Encouragement]

Thank you so much. I am also trying hard to tell him he needs to repent (not for what he has done to me) but that we all need to ... he is agnostic. This is very hard. I just sent him some things from the Bible and hope he will read them. He keeps saying "do you love me". to say yes is to lie ... I say yes, but it is a very quet yes.

My pleasure..Yes his eternal destiny is at stake and I have a feeling there is more to this whole situation than what meets the eye.You are reaching out to him with the gospel of truth and whilst he isnt saved.....just yet..what would he be asking you if you love him??Its like he is sub consciously aware that he hasn't been great to you and wants to know if you love him regardless of all this..(like a mehapour of christs love for him...a man whose done wrong yet still loved by God)...either that or hes seeking to expect you to be a passive daughter and would be forgiving him no matter what out of weakness and some kinda dysfunctional loyalty.
Your forgiveness for him ect could even be the key to his very salvation...ie..how you are to him is an expression of Gods love to him.Gods mercy being expressed through you to one who in no way deserves it.Ask God to fill you with HIS love for him and that alone may even break him...the bible says that Gods goodness leads to repentance.

 

[stepbystep]

My father was abusive in every way (not sexual). He continued his abuse even after I grew up and married ... it became verbal. It has been difficult to say the least. Now he is much older & I dont know how much time he has left at his advanced age.

I keep trying to forgive him and, somehow, he will say another abusive/hurtful thing and I am angry again. I pray and pray because I want to forgive him completely but the hurt is still there. Often dont want to even talk to him, but I do because I feel guilty if I don't. So my prayers need others' prayers that I finally let go of my anger & hurt. I dont want to have guilt on top of grief when he passes. Any suggestions/prayers/anything will be greatly appreciated.

Thank you and keeping you all in my prayers.

I am so sorry for you Ann Marie. I am praying God will ease your spirit concerning this situation. I also will say that your father, or any parent who acts in such a way, has completely disobeyed God concerning how a father/parent is to act towards their children. Scripture is clear about this.

I suggest you (if you have a church you attend) go to your church, to the alter, kneel down and pray to God forgiving your father for the way he has treated you/things he has done to you, and LEAVE it at the alter. Leave that burden for God to bear. As well, ONE TIME only, tell your father that you forgive him for his actions/words towards you, and leave it at that. You do have to forgive him, you DO NOT have to associate with him. I know it is hard to think of isolating yourself from him given that he is growing old, and may not be around much longer, but your main concern as to be for your spiritual well being. He is to answer to God concerning his. Not you.

Praying. What a terrible position to find oneself in. God bless you, and may God open the eyes and heart of your father before he passes from this world.

 

[Ann-Marie]

I am so sorry for you Ann Marie. I am praying God will ease your spirit concerning this situation. I also will say that your father, or any parent who acts in such a way, has completely disobeyed God concerning how a father/parent is to act towards their children. Scripture is clear about this.

I suggest you (if you have a church you attend) go to your church, to the alter, kneel down and pray to God forgiving your father for the way he has treated you/things he has done to you, and LEAVE it at the alter. Leave that burden for God to bear. As well, ONE TIME only, tell your father that you forgive him for his actions/words towards you, and leave it at that. You do have to forgive him, you DO NOT have to associate with him. I know it is hard to think of isolating yourself from him given that he is growing old, and may not be around much longer, but your main concern as to be for your spiritual well being. He is to answer to God concerning his. Not you.

Praying. What a terrible position to find oneself in. God bless you, and may God open the eyes and heart of your father before he passes from this world.

Yes, church ... I have done this over many things.
Perhaps I need to go over ... when the Church is empty. thank you for this.

I forgave him more times than I can say. Back in 1999, he apologized and admitted it all, and I forgave him fully. But, i later realized he never meant it. He went back to telling me that the things that happened to me never happened? They did happen.

If I tell him, I forgive him, he says, he did nothing. So I tell him the past is the past and I wish him no harm. This part is true. I do not want him to suffer the way my mother suffered. I am grateful to God that I have none of those feelings

I dont think I can change him. I am learning (with help from my Beloved Mother, who taught me) that when he gets really nasty, to simply say "I have to cook", "I have to clean", I have to go out now. And that is never a lie because there is always something to do.

You are all so very kind. I never ever expected so many loving responses.

So, now I have a Plan:
I will continue to pray.
I will go to Church and pray.
I will call him, to make sure he is okay, and try to share Jesus with him.
BUT, if he starts in ... yelling, screaming, accusing, etc, I will "go cook'
My husband will be very happy with all the cooking!!!

Hugs and I am going to pray for everyone on Christian Chat ...
I dont know what you are all dealing with, but God will know what you all need.

Thinking on this,
This is such a small thing for me to do.
God has done so much for me/for all of us.