God being our source of happiness, even over our potential partner

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SarahUmbreon

SarahUmbreon

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#1
Aug 16, 2020
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#1
So I was thinking about it and figured it would be interesting to bring up, I think it would just be easier for me to marry a man that is already Christian because not only are my world views centered in God, but also that God is my main source of happiness, my marriage (If it actually happens) will make me happy, but ultimately God matters more.

I know I learned this at church, and even my Dad has told me: “I might be your father, but God is your real father, as he is my real father as well”, so I just wondering what y’all think about this Christian ideal. I’m not against it, I just like hearing opinions. It also worries me to be honest on how this ideal might make it sound that I wouldn’t love my husband, I would but humans are capable of failing, which is why it is better to have God be the center of happiness, for God never fails. Yes bad stuff will happen, but ultimately God does not fail.
 
tourist

tourist

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#2
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Since you are a Christian it is natural that you would want your future husband to be a Christian too. I am not sure about the easier part but it a wiser thing to do rather than marrying a person who is not already one. Speaking from years of marital experience you can certainly expect ups and downs and yes, nobody is perfect, even Christians. Yeah, bad stuff may happen but God is full of the good stuff.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

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#3
Dec 15, 2018
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I think it would be weird for a christian to think about marrying someone who is not a christian just for the sake of being married. I think people have this weird idea that people are just going to convert upon marriage and that will change everything but more often than not it doesnt really happen or its false conversions.

Just because you might marry in a church doesnt make you MORE of a christian. If it was really the case that you became a christian just by marrying someone Jesus wouldn have sent the disciples out healing and ministering he would have just said right guys, you all have to go out and date and find wives. Thats how we evangelise! um no.
 
tourist

tourist

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#4
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#4
Lanolin said:
I think it would be weird for a christian to think about marrying someone who is not a christian just for the sake of being married. I think people have this weird idea that people are just going to convert upon marriage and that will change everything but more often than not it doesnt really happen or its false conversions.

Just because you might marry in a church doesnt make you MORE of a christian. If it was really the case that you became a christian just by marrying someone Jesus wouldn have sent the disciples out healing and ministering he would have just said right guys, you all have to go out and date and find wives. Thats how we evangelise! um no.
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I agree, being married inside of a church building does not make it more of a Christian wedding but it does make for a nice setting.

I have been married three times. The first was inside the house of my X in front of a fire place. The second was in a Nazarene church. The last was in our hotel room in Las Vegas.

Funny thing about the horrible first marriage that ended in divorce, after the nuptials were said her brother was supposed to play a recording of the Carpenter's - We've Only Just Begun - but somehow, he messed up and played - We Can't Go On Hurting Each Other- . obviously a portent of what was to come.

Regarding the first marriage, there was only one day that I actually regretted and that was the day I got married. I had just turned 23 and endured a living hell for 6 1/2 years until it mercifully came to an end.

Marry in haste - repent in leisure.
 
SarahUmbreon

SarahUmbreon

Banned
#5
Aug 16, 2020
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#5
tourist said:
Since you are a Christian it is natural that you would want your future husband to be a Christian too. I am not sure about the easier part but it a wiser thing to do rather than marrying a person who is not already one. Speaking from years of marital experience you can certainly expect ups and downs and yes, nobody is perfect, even Christians. Yeah, bad stuff may happen but God is full of the good stuff.
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What I was trying to say with the easier part is that they would be okay with my stance on sin and homosexuality, cause I’m part of the millennials sadly and not saying it’s everyone, but from what I see, they seem to be the group that is the “most liberal”, as in they are more likely to support stuff like BLM and gay rights, so that’s why I honestly think there aren’t that many people, besides Christians, who would even want to talk to me, because as soon as I say: “I don’t support gay rights”, I just feel like they would immediately call me homophobic. My sister who is almost 30 actually has been taking part in BLM protests, as in support for BLM so it’s already really hard to talk to her.

Plus, with me saying to my potential husband: “I love you, but in the end God is my true love, I hope you understand that”, I just don’t see anyone else but Christian people being okay with this mindset. I’m thinking once I’m ready to go back to looking, to use Christian mingle, I know it isn’t the best (From what my research online told me anyway) but I feel like I should be able to find Christian people on there...hopefully Christian people that will actually take the time to read my profile, unlike the secular dating website I used for like 4 days, then had to get off, it was too much ;-;
 
tourist

tourist

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#6
Mar 13, 2014
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#6
SarahUmbreon said:
What I was trying to say with the easier part is that they would be okay with my stance on sin and homosexuality, cause I’m part of the millennials sadly and not saying it’s everyone, but from what I see, they seem to be the group that is the “most liberal”, as in they are more likely to support stuff like BLM and gay rights, so that’s why I honestly think there aren’t that many people, besides Christians, who would even want to talk to me, because as soon as I say: “I don’t support gay rights”, I just feel like they would immediately call me homophobic. My sister who is almost 30 actually has been taking part in BLM protests, as in support for BLM so it’s already really hard to talk to her.

Plus, with me saying to my potential husband: “I love you, but in the end God is my true love, I hope you understand that”, I just don’t see anyone else but Christian people being okay with this mindset. I’m thinking once I’m ready to go back to looking, to use Christian mingle, I know it isn’t the best (From what my research online told me anyway) but I feel like I should be able to find Christian people on there...hopefully Christian people that will actually take the time to read my profile, unlike the secular dating website I used for like 4 days, then had to get off, it was too much ;-;
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Just because you would love your spouse does not mean that you would love God any less. The truth is that it is God who gives you the love to give to your spouse.

I commend your spiritual beliefs on what is right and wrong but please know, millennial or not, that you are not the only one to feel this way. Those that do not want to talk to you about your beliefs are not worth investing your time in the first place.

Perhaps your sister is a bit naïve in some respects.
 
Encouragement

Encouragement

Well-known member
#7
Aug 25, 2020
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#7
SarahUmbreon said:
So I was thinking about it and figured it would be interesting to bring up, I think it would just be easier for me to marry a man that is already Christian because not only are my world views centered in God, but also that God is my main source of happiness, my marriage (If it actually happens) will make me happy, but ultimately God matters more.

I know I learned this at church, and even my Dad has told me: “I might be your father, but God is your real father, as he is my real father as well”, so I just wondering what y’all think about this Christian ideal. I’m not against it, I just like hearing opinions. It also worries me to be honest on how this ideal might make it sound that I wouldn’t love my husband, I would but humans are capable of failing, which is why it is better to have God be the center of happiness, for God never fails. Yes bad stuff will happen, but ultimately God does not fail.
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Well the bible makes a very clear distinction between sheep and goats..it days don't be unequally yoked with an unbeliver.There are many wonderful people in the world in a humanistic sense who are not Christian..yet at some point there is a spiritual divide so to marry a person who is not a Christian wouldn't be wise....oil and water just don't mix..neither does light and darkness.
God is God and a man is just man.So if God is your lord when single..he is still your lord when married and you both grow in God as a couple.He is the one who helps you both through the tough times..your husband is subject to God just as you are and God will use you to bless each other.Things like holding hands and praying to God together are wonderful things,reading the bible together ect and sensing Gods leading in the marriage are awesome things.
God expects you to both honour him as God in your marriage and yes you both have great things to give each other which God will not do..like run you a nice warm bath,cook your favourite meal ect..it's a real relationship with real human interaction of romance,laughter,loving care ect..God is bigger than human existence,the moon the stars ect..so your husband can never be the ultimate source of you forfillment yet God will give you someone who as a man is of a certain type who in the natural will be a blessing to you.
 
tourist

tourist

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#8
Mar 13, 2014
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#8
Encouragement said:
Well the bible makes a very clear distinction between sheep and goats..it days don't be unequally yoked with an unbeliver.There are many wonderful people in the world in a humanistic sense who are not Christian..yet at some point there is a spiritual divide so to marry a person who is not a Christian wouldn't be wise....oil and water just don't mix..neither does light and darkness.
God is God and a man is just man.So if God is your lord when single..he is still your lord when married and you both grow in God as a couple.He is the one who helps you both through the tough times..your husband is subject to God just as you are and God will use you to bless each other.Things like holding hands and praying to God together are wonderful things,reading the bible together ect and sensing Gods leading in the marriage are awesome things.
God expects you to both honour him as God in your marriage and yes you both have great things to give each other which God will not do..like run you a nice warm bath,cook your favourite meal ect..it's a real relationship with real human interaction of romance,laughter,loving care ect..God is bigger than human existence,the moon the stars ect..so your husband can never be the ultimate source of you forfillment yet God will give you someone who as a man is of a certain type who in the natural will be a blessing to you.
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I fully concur. Yes, God should be at the center of your life but it was God who said that it is not good for man to be alone. Therefore, God crafted a bone taken from Adam and fashioned Eve to be his companion and wife. God will not cook you a favorite meal, at least not during our human existence but He certainly can provide the resources, including a spouse who would do so. You can work out some sort of arrangement, if it is your wife who cooks your favorite meal then you can be the one who can run her a nice warm bath. I'm thinking serious suds here.
 
Encouragement

Encouragement

Well-known member
#9
Aug 25, 2020
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#9
tourist said:
I fully concur. Yes, God should be at the center of your life but it was God who said that it is not good for man to be alone. Therefore, God crafted a bone taken from Adam and fashioned Eve to be his companion and wife. God will not cook you a favorite meal, at least not during our human existence but He certainly can provide the resources, including a spouse who would do so. You can work out some sort of arrangement, if it is your wife who cooks your favorite meal then you can be the one who can run her a nice warm bath. I'm thinking serious suds here.
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Yes so much suds it looks like transparent cheese..🤣🤣
With a rose floating on top on honour her
 
Encouragement

Encouragement

Well-known member
#11
Aug 25, 2020
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#11
tourist said:
You are obviously romantically inclined sir.
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Most definitely.
There is nothing sweeter than making the heart smile of the one you love.👍
(Bit of poetic language there😉)
 
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