I am well aware no Calvinist would outright say it, but if even man's will is subject to God's sovereignty entirely with no ability to deviate then there are no secondary causes. Only God causing everything.sure it does, but you want your error instead. it flat out says God is not the author of sin, which you profanely suggest. No Calvinists say such a thing. Show any Calvinist who says God is the author of sin, you cannot because no Calvinist would do that.
I think you do not understand the phrase about secondary causes.
The contradiction is plain, unless you can restate statement 2 in such a way that it's not exclusive from statement 1 and 3 since that's your escape statement. But they cannot all be true together.