Hi Everyone,
First of all, I must make a disclaimer. I almost always type on a laptop, so I forget how long these posts will be on an actual phone screen. My apologies in advance that nearly all of my posts are rather long (and more like a college term paper,) which might result automatically skipping over them, which I totally understand.
But for anyone who might be interested...
I've been thinking a lot lately about how a virtually all-digital communication system affects our mental, emotional, and spiritual health. For example, just about every YouTube "influencer" ends their video with, "I love you guys SSSSOOO MUCH!!!" along with a flurry of air kisses floating into the camera. Back in "my day," it was rare to see someone on a screen "break the 4th wall" -- talk directly to the audience as a participating member -- and most people either found this annoying (because it disrupted the fantasy of the mental story) or delightful (because it made them feel as if they were now part of the story.)
Now days, we have an entire entertainment platform BUILT around treating the audience as an active (and sometimes only) participant. But what will that do to our interactions and expectations of others around us?
As a frequent victim of the YouTube rabbit hole, I started out looking for videos promoting relaxation and better sleep and quickly found ASMR. According to Google, ASMR stands for "autonomous sensory meridian response -- a subjective low-grade euphoria characterized by a combination of positive feelings and a distinct static-like tingling sensation on the skin." Just to clarify, all of the ASMR videos I've seen are NOT sexual at all (though I'm sure they're out there if you look,) but rather concentrate on creating a feeling of total relaxation through whispering, soft music, and soft noises (such as scratching, the gentle rustling of opening wrappers or shaking rice in a bowl, etc.)
Some ASMR creators take the experience even further, creating "role plays" in which they are pretending to be an esthetician at a high-end spa or medical clinic, and they invite you to make yourself at home as they offer to provide spa-like services such as facials, massage, and even basic care. For instance, one ASMR role-play is of a beautiful young Australian woman with girlish dimples and bright blue eyes saying, "You fell down! Let me take care of you!" She then proceeds, in a calm, whispering manner, to descriptively check out your injury and apply antibiotic creams and bandages, while administrating detailed, compassionate care. NOTHING about the video is sexual AT ALL. But, it is very much about someone acting as if they are there to care for you in a very complete and immersive as possible way.
On another channel, the host (again, a young, beautiful female), tells you that you are about to receive a host of complimentary deluxe services from the "spa" where she is working. She asks you to choose which candles and tea YOU want, all the while complimenting YOUR choices, then tells you that she has no other appointments for the day and so her sole focus is on YOU. She then proceeds to describe each of the services for YOU as she roleplays them in the video.
While I've only been to a spa once or twice in my life (and I'm a heterosexual female,) I can attest to the fact that the ladies in these particular videos are NOT doing anything inappropriate and aren't even dressed in a very enticing manner (though I realize that's a matter of personal opinion.) Everything they are doing imitates a real professional experience at a real professional business.
But for some reason, my spirit was incredibly agitated and screaming aloud by the end of these videos, and I had to spend a few days asking God why.
It's not at all because of the young women in the video -- I am very much attracted to men. But, I was thinking about two specific things:
* What IF the videos featured young, handsome men saying, "I'm here for YOU, I want to hear about YOUR day, I'm here to take care of YOU, and YOU are my sole focus," even if there was absolutely nothing sexual about it? How would women feel about this? (I'm sure such videos exist, but I know I'm sure not going to try looking for them.)
* How would it affect men to watch gorgeous young ladies on a screen saying to them, "You look like YOU'VE had a hard day. I want to hear all about it, and I'm here to help YOU unwind and feel as relaxed as possible"? I suppose this is part of what happens with porn? (I don't know much about the live porn world.) But even if this is only happening on supposedly casual emotional level, I would suspect that most viewers would be almost instantaneously hooked (because even if nothing sexual was happening onscreen, it can always be carried out in the mind.)
For my own personal definition, I see "pornography" as being anything, whether sexual or nonsexual, that creates a bond or attraction that causes anyone (male or female) to have expectations, thoughts, and distorted thinking about human relationships that God never intended us to have.
* Even though these videos are non-sexual, I for one can see how they would be emotional kryptonite for a good number of people, even if it was someone who wasn't interested in or hooked on sexual porn. And even if you weren't into this, how would you feel about your boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife watching videos like this on a regular basis? And they very well could have a "valid" excuse, saying that they were using these videos every night to help them sleep. After all, the girls aren't dressed seductively and nothing sexual is going on. Technically, it's "all innocent entertainment."
But is it really?
Personally, I think it would be very easy to become much too attached to creators, videos, and channels like this, to the point where we are thinking things like, "I wish I could find someone like that!!! I want someone who makes me feel that way all the time!" and it causes us to have standards so high that no one could ever meet them.
I think God also made me aware of the second part of what was bothering me so much -- the entire video is one-sided, and I understand that was the point. But I think God convicted me in that there is something very dangerous about these types of fantasies because the focus becomes all about self, with is no opportunity to serve someone else (let alone unconditionally.)
I also found it intriguing that the girl who liked to fancy herself as a high-end spa specialist, ready to cater to your every whim, wrote in her description, "I do not take requests. I'm here to do what I want. I'm not gonna be your best friend. I'm not gonna do something just because you really really want me to. The more loudly you ask for something from me, the more likely you are to (tick) me off."
This was incredibly ironic, as she has several videos in which the VERY THING she does is to set up THAT EXACT scenario (for instance, on a picnic,) in which she talks to you as if she is exactly that ("I can see you're under a lot of pressure. Want to talk about it? I'm totally here for you.") She even has a video entitled, "You + Me Forever."
Clearly, and in the most ironic twist, in almost all of her roleplays, she says, "I'm here to cater to YOU," but the real truth is, everything about her offering to pamper and take care of you -- is really about herself. It's not true service -- it's just about what she gets out of making such videos and the reactions they receive.
One of the most unnerving things I came to in conclusion for myself is that even if you manage to try to avoid one briar patch (physical porn,) an even larger twist of thorns is always waiting for us just around the corner (emotional porn,) and sometimes it's even more shiny and deceitful than the first.
* What are your thoughts? Would you see this type of "entertainment" as emotional porn, or just harmless entertainment? How would you feel if your significant other was watching this on a regular basis?
How can any of us find "love" when an entire generation is being raised thinking that "love" consists of fluffy, confectionery salutations that are emitted by a digital image of a person on a screen blowing us kisses and telling us, "I'm always here for you!" but what they're really thinking is, "As long as it benefits ME"?
I would love to know your thoughts.
Thanks so much for your time, and have a blessed day!
First of all, I must make a disclaimer. I almost always type on a laptop, so I forget how long these posts will be on an actual phone screen. My apologies in advance that nearly all of my posts are rather long (and more like a college term paper,) which might result automatically skipping over them, which I totally understand.
But for anyone who might be interested...I've been thinking a lot lately about how a virtually all-digital communication system affects our mental, emotional, and spiritual health. For example, just about every YouTube "influencer" ends their video with, "I love you guys SSSSOOO MUCH!!!" along with a flurry of air kisses floating into the camera. Back in "my day," it was rare to see someone on a screen "break the 4th wall" -- talk directly to the audience as a participating member -- and most people either found this annoying (because it disrupted the fantasy of the mental story) or delightful (because it made them feel as if they were now part of the story.)
Now days, we have an entire entertainment platform BUILT around treating the audience as an active (and sometimes only) participant. But what will that do to our interactions and expectations of others around us?
As a frequent victim of the YouTube rabbit hole, I started out looking for videos promoting relaxation and better sleep and quickly found ASMR. According to Google, ASMR stands for "autonomous sensory meridian response -- a subjective low-grade euphoria characterized by a combination of positive feelings and a distinct static-like tingling sensation on the skin." Just to clarify, all of the ASMR videos I've seen are NOT sexual at all (though I'm sure they're out there if you look,) but rather concentrate on creating a feeling of total relaxation through whispering, soft music, and soft noises (such as scratching, the gentle rustling of opening wrappers or shaking rice in a bowl, etc.)
Some ASMR creators take the experience even further, creating "role plays" in which they are pretending to be an esthetician at a high-end spa or medical clinic, and they invite you to make yourself at home as they offer to provide spa-like services such as facials, massage, and even basic care. For instance, one ASMR role-play is of a beautiful young Australian woman with girlish dimples and bright blue eyes saying, "You fell down! Let me take care of you!" She then proceeds, in a calm, whispering manner, to descriptively check out your injury and apply antibiotic creams and bandages, while administrating detailed, compassionate care. NOTHING about the video is sexual AT ALL. But, it is very much about someone acting as if they are there to care for you in a very complete and immersive as possible way.
On another channel, the host (again, a young, beautiful female), tells you that you are about to receive a host of complimentary deluxe services from the "spa" where she is working. She asks you to choose which candles and tea YOU want, all the while complimenting YOUR choices, then tells you that she has no other appointments for the day and so her sole focus is on YOU. She then proceeds to describe each of the services for YOU as she roleplays them in the video.
While I've only been to a spa once or twice in my life (and I'm a heterosexual female,) I can attest to the fact that the ladies in these particular videos are NOT doing anything inappropriate and aren't even dressed in a very enticing manner (though I realize that's a matter of personal opinion.) Everything they are doing imitates a real professional experience at a real professional business.
But for some reason, my spirit was incredibly agitated and screaming aloud by the end of these videos, and I had to spend a few days asking God why.
It's not at all because of the young women in the video -- I am very much attracted to men. But, I was thinking about two specific things:
* What IF the videos featured young, handsome men saying, "I'm here for YOU, I want to hear about YOUR day, I'm here to take care of YOU, and YOU are my sole focus," even if there was absolutely nothing sexual about it? How would women feel about this? (I'm sure such videos exist, but I know I'm sure not going to try looking for them.)
* How would it affect men to watch gorgeous young ladies on a screen saying to them, "You look like YOU'VE had a hard day. I want to hear all about it, and I'm here to help YOU unwind and feel as relaxed as possible"? I suppose this is part of what happens with porn? (I don't know much about the live porn world.) But even if this is only happening on supposedly casual emotional level, I would suspect that most viewers would be almost instantaneously hooked (because even if nothing sexual was happening onscreen, it can always be carried out in the mind.)
For my own personal definition, I see "pornography" as being anything, whether sexual or nonsexual, that creates a bond or attraction that causes anyone (male or female) to have expectations, thoughts, and distorted thinking about human relationships that God never intended us to have.
* Even though these videos are non-sexual, I for one can see how they would be emotional kryptonite for a good number of people, even if it was someone who wasn't interested in or hooked on sexual porn. And even if you weren't into this, how would you feel about your boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife watching videos like this on a regular basis? And they very well could have a "valid" excuse, saying that they were using these videos every night to help them sleep. After all, the girls aren't dressed seductively and nothing sexual is going on. Technically, it's "all innocent entertainment."
But is it really?
Personally, I think it would be very easy to become much too attached to creators, videos, and channels like this, to the point where we are thinking things like, "I wish I could find someone like that!!! I want someone who makes me feel that way all the time!" and it causes us to have standards so high that no one could ever meet them.
I think God also made me aware of the second part of what was bothering me so much -- the entire video is one-sided, and I understand that was the point. But I think God convicted me in that there is something very dangerous about these types of fantasies because the focus becomes all about self, with is no opportunity to serve someone else (let alone unconditionally.)
I also found it intriguing that the girl who liked to fancy herself as a high-end spa specialist, ready to cater to your every whim, wrote in her description, "I do not take requests. I'm here to do what I want. I'm not gonna be your best friend. I'm not gonna do something just because you really really want me to. The more loudly you ask for something from me, the more likely you are to (tick) me off."
This was incredibly ironic, as she has several videos in which the VERY THING she does is to set up THAT EXACT scenario (for instance, on a picnic,) in which she talks to you as if she is exactly that ("I can see you're under a lot of pressure. Want to talk about it? I'm totally here for you.") She even has a video entitled, "You + Me Forever."
Clearly, and in the most ironic twist, in almost all of her roleplays, she says, "I'm here to cater to YOU," but the real truth is, everything about her offering to pamper and take care of you -- is really about herself. It's not true service -- it's just about what she gets out of making such videos and the reactions they receive.
One of the most unnerving things I came to in conclusion for myself is that even if you manage to try to avoid one briar patch (physical porn,) an even larger twist of thorns is always waiting for us just around the corner (emotional porn,) and sometimes it's even more shiny and deceitful than the first.
* What are your thoughts? Would you see this type of "entertainment" as emotional porn, or just harmless entertainment? How would you feel if your significant other was watching this on a regular basis?
How can any of us find "love" when an entire generation is being raised thinking that "love" consists of fluffy, confectionery salutations that are emitted by a digital image of a person on a screen blowing us kisses and telling us, "I'm always here for you!" but what they're really thinking is, "As long as it benefits ME"?
I would love to know your thoughts.
Thanks so much for your time, and have a blessed day!
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