Dating Site Profiles

[tourist]

I've got an idea.....why not start threads like 'If you're between 20-30 (30-40 and so forth), single(as in would like a relationship), and would like to have a casual PM with someone, post here a few of your interests. We can all assume you love the Lord and want a Godly mate. If someone would like to get a PM, give them a 'heart'. Have the casual PM chat and see what blossoms. There would have to be made clear, 'no offense taken' if one bows out and I can see that could create rejection feelings but that could be done gracefully.
I know this isn't a dating site but it seems this would be more fruitful than some threads that are well-intentioned but end up in ongoing quarrels. Of course the mods would have to approve.
I have a friend who met her hubby on E-Harmony(after a while of chatting), and two who met their spouses on YT chat sites(and they all were Christians). It does happen.
What's wrong with this idea. My goodness so many attempts have been tried at this and then fizzle out. We don't know how much time we have here on this planet and for those who are interested in getting to know someone, wouldn't it be nice JUST TO DO THAT? If I was looking, I wouldn't be wishy-washy about it. No offense but is it just me who finds this standstill a little sad?

I think that it is an excellent idea. This may not be a dating site but dating has taken place as a result of this site.

 

[tourist]

Those who are looking for a perfect person are probably better off spending their lives alone... and the people they might find are probably better off looking elsewhere. Can't nobody measure up to perfection.

Exactly.

 

[Encouragement]

Exactly.

Exactly...perfection doesn't exist in a humanistic sense..I guess people may have the wrong motives in how they evaluate someone they meet...yet it is right to be with someone you are compatible with for sure

 

[Lynx]

Some of the people who contacted me on dating sites were actually married, but, with the advent of online dating services (since they weren't available when they were dating their spouse), were now convinced that they had married the wrong person and surely "God's TRUE match" for them was somewhere out there, yet to be found, and they had missed out before because their pool of opportunity had been too small. Others were mostly curious as to who else in the world might be attracted to them now and give them the attention.

Something about this startled me and made me really sad... which is odd, because I know perfectly well men AND women do this all the time. I took it off to chew on for a while and try to figure out what it was that startled me.

I can't speak for anybody else, but I think if I married a lady and then decided there was somebody better I could have married... well, it might mean I didn't marry the first lady for the right reasons. If I married her because I loved her, I wouldn't be looking for somebody better.

I would only be looking for somebody better if I chose the first one for the same reason I would buy a car or laptop - for what she could do for me, not because I actually loved her. And that's why the thought made me really sad, because I know people do just that every day.

 

[cinder]

My great foray into online dating was.....

I thought about just for fun trying to write up a dating profile not to post but more like journaling to narrow down what I wanted and maybe what I was bringing to the table as well. It's almost a page long and I kind of choked on the whole what do I actually want part.

So I decided on a slightly easier undertaking and instead of trying to convince someone to spend a romantic evening with me; I went out and tried to convince someone to sell me their house (ok so it helped that I had an intermediary and person already wanted to sell their house). Having succeeded in that; my next goal is to get someone to entrust to me a dog of my very own.

 

[Lynx]

The people at the animal shelter are very easy to convince. Just saying. They gave me a dog and two cats.

And it's easier to talk somebody into spending an entertaining or exciting evening than a romantic evening. The romantic ones come later.

 

[cinder]

The people at the animal shelter are very easy to convince. Just saying. They gave me a dog and two cats.

And it's easier to talk somebody into spending an entertaining or exciting evening than a romantic evening. The romantic ones come later.

But I've gotten so good at making my evenings entertaing (hopefully not too exciting since in my world that usually means there was some sort of crisis to problem solve) all by myself. Other people are completely not necessary (though sometimes useful) for that.

 

[seoulsearch]

I've got an idea.....why not start threads like 'If you're between 20-30 (30-40 and so forth), single(as in would like a relationship), and would like to have a casual PM with someone, post here a few of your interests. We can all assume you love the Lord and want a Godly mate. If someone would like to get a PM, give them a 'heart'. Have the casual PM chat and see what blossoms. There would have to be made clear, 'no offense taken' if one bows out and I can see that could create rejection feelings but that could be done gracefully.
I know this isn't a dating site but it seems this would be more fruitful than some threads that are well-intentioned but end up in ongoing quarrels. Of course the mods would have to approve.
I have a friend who met her hubby on E-Harmony(after a while of chatting), and two who met their spouses on YT chat sites(and they all were Christians). It does happen.
What's wrong with this idea. My goodness so many attempts have been tried and then fizzle out. We don't know how much time we have here on this planet and for those who are interested in getting to know someone, wouldn't it be nice JUST TO DO THAT? If I was looking, I wouldn't be wishy-washy about it. No offense but is it just me who finds this standstill a little sad?

Hi Tabin,

Thanks for thinking of ways for singles to be able to meet and talk to other singles. I joined this site in 2009, and I only mention that because I've seen a lot of what you're suggesting that has gone on during all that time. Just because people aren't stating out in the open that they are meeting others on this site doesn't mean it isn't happening, I assure you. 2018/2019 was a record year for me, as I was able to meet about 7 people from CC (and one particularly awesome CC'er twice.) It's funny because God literally squeezed my last meetup in right before the lockdowns. And these were all people I've known from CC since around 2015 or earlier, so if any of them were waiting for me with a knife behind their back, they had been waiting an awfully long time!

Singles has had several "get things started"-type threads encouraging people to share interests, what they're looking for, what they have to offer, but threads here never last long -- now days a thread can disappear off the main page in an hour (years ago, there was enough activity to sustain them several days to a week or more.) Unfortunately, you can't really keep reviving the same threads about these topics because many of the people who posted might be gone from the site and will never respond. Many people seem to make one intro post and then disappear. I was reading an old thread the other day and nearly everyone in it either said "guest" under their name (they requested to have their account closed) or were banned.

So the suggestion to have "connection" threads is great and actually has been ongoing over the years, but they only occur sporadically because very few people start them. In order for your suggestion to work, people who are here would have to keep re-writing the same threads over and over, and new people who came in would have to volunteer to continuously keep the threads going, rewriting them as they (and old users) disappear in order to keep the responses current.

I find that there are often tons of ideas thrown around for threads or groups or that we should set up things for people to connect.

But when it comes to the actual work, if you ask for volunteers to start, implement, monitor, and keep the methods going... No one has the time or energy to do so, which is understandable. People want the forums to feel like fun, not work. But the fun could only be had if there were people offering do put in the work. 98% of people enjoy posting on the threads, but cannot or do not want to start them, and there's no where to go without a fair amount of people to write and sustain topics of discussion.

"Dating-style" threads are also vehemently opposed by some members who see the singles forum as a welcome escape from such atmospheres, so it's tough to keep a balance that the majority are comfortable with. It's also a little more difficult now for people to just PM each other, because apparently there is a fee to be able to private message (which I think is $25, and I'm not sure if that's a yearly fee or forever?) This fee was not in effect when I joined, and when they added it, those who had already been here were grandfathered in.

And as mentioned, just because no one is talking about who they're talking to on the site, you can almost guarantee that people ARE indeed talking to each other when they are determined enough. The last time we had a series of "getting to know things about people and trying to apply it" threads, I got at least one message from someone who said they had met a lot of people specifically through those threads.

In the past, CC almost DID feel like a dating site, with all the problems that go with it. Live chat had a singles room, and a moderator would come in occasionally and ask each of us on the live mic if we were married or not. We each had to answer publicly in front of the rest of the room, and the mod explained that they were doing this because they had had a lot of problems with people who had left their spouses for someone they found on CC.

We also had problems with catfish (people pretending to be unicorns that others fell in love with and then found out that the person didn't really exist, or at least not in the form they they claimed to be,) cat fights (people fighting each other for mutual objects of affection,) situations in which someone would be the target of another person's unwanted or unwarranted affection, and some people who would compete to see how much attention they could get from the opposite gender.

It was also very common (say around 2015) for people to write threads or make public declarations about who they were dating or talking to on the site, which was wonderful to hear (and I still love hearing when things work out for people.)

But it was also wincingly uncomfortable to witness the times when it didn't, which is what happened the majority of the time (often due to long distances.) In a few cases, there were even marriages -- and divorces -- and as a reader, you would feel terrible for the people involved because they would go from announcing, "I FOUND THE ONE GOD HAD FOR ME ON THIS SITE!!!" to "Things Didn't Work Out, And Now They're With Someone Else."

I'm not here nearly as much and am no longer "in the loop" (not that I ever was, I just talked to a lot of people here at that time,) so I have no idea what goes on now, but I would bet that it all still happens, just below the surface instead of center stage. Any time there is an opportunity for online connections, things like this are bound to happen, and I think CC has done its best to keep the riff raff to a minimum.

Like you, Tabin, I always feel called to introduce and try to bring people together. Unfortunately, it also comes with A LOT of fallout.

I always call the dating scene a shark tank, not just because it seems impossible to find someone, but because no matter where you go or what size the pool may be, someone is bound to take a whole bite, as opposed to a nibble, and so there will always be blood in the water.

 

[Krumbeard]

Hi Tabin,

Thanks for thinking of ways for singles to be able to meet and talk to other singles. I joined this site in 2009, and I only mention that because I've seen a lot of what you're suggesting that has gone on during all that time. Just because people aren't stating out in the open that they are meeting others on this site doesn't mean it isn't happening, I assure you. 2018/2019 was a record year for me, as I was able to meet about 7 people from CC (and one particularly awesome CC'er twice.) It's funny because God literally squeezed my last meetup in right before the lockdowns. And these were all people I've known from CC since around 2015 or earlier, so if any of them were waiting for me with a knife behind their back, they had been waiting an awfully long time!

Singles has had several "get things started"-type threads encouraging people to share interests, what they're looking for, what they have to offer, but threads here never last long -- now days a thread can disappear off the main page in an hour (years ago, there was enough activity to sustain them several days to a week or more.) Unfortunately, you can't really keep reviving the same threads about these topics because many of the people who posted might be gone from the site and will never respond. Many people seem to make one intro post and then disappear. I was reading an old thread the other day and nearly everyone in it either said "guest" under their name (they requested to have their account closed) or were banned.

So the suggestion to have "connection" threads is great and actually has been ongoing over the years, but they only occur sporadically because very few people start them. In order for your suggestion to work, people who are here would have to keep re-writing the same threads over and over, and new people who came in would have to volunteer to continuously keep the threads going, rewriting them as they (and old users) disappear in order to keep the responses current.

I find that there are often tons of ideas thrown around for threads or groups or that we should set up things for people to connect.

But when it comes to the actual work, if you ask for volunteers to start, implement, monitor, and keep the methods going... No one has the time or energy to do so, which is understandable. People want the forums to feel like fun, not work. But the fun could only be had if there were people offering do put in the work. 98% of people enjoy posting on the threads, but cannot or do not want to start them, and there's no where to go without a fair amount of people to write and sustain topics of discussion.

"Dating-style" threads are also vehemently opposed by some members who see the singles forum as a welcome escape from such atmospheres, so it's tough to keep a balance that the majority are comfortable with. It's also a little more difficult now for people to just PM each other, because apparently there is a fee to be able to private message (which I think is $25, and I'm not sure if that's a yearly fee or forever?) This fee was not in effect when I joined, and when they added it, those who had already been here were grandfathered in.

And as mentioned, just because no one is talking about who they're talking to on the site, you can almost guarantee that people ARE indeed talking to each other when they are determined enough. The last time we had a series of "getting to know things about people and trying to apply it" threads, I got at least one message from someone who said they had met a lot of people specifically through those threads.

In the past, CC almost DID feel like a dating site, with all the problems that go with it. Live chat had a singles room, and a moderator would come in occasionally and ask each of us on the live mic if we were married or not. We each had to answer publicly in front of the rest of the room, and the mod explained that they were doing this because they had had a lot of problems with people who had left their spouses for someone they found on CC.

We also had problems with catfish (people pretending to be unicorns that others fell in love with and then found out that the person didn't really exist, or at least not in the form they they claimed to be,) cat fights (people fighting each other for mutual objects of affection,) situations in which someone would be the target of another person's unwanted or unwarranted affection, and some people who would compete to see how much attention they could get from the opposite gender.

It was also very common (say around 2015) for people to write threads or make public declarations about who they were dating or talking to on the site, which was wonderful to hear (and I still love hearing when things work out for people.)

But it was also wincingly uncomfortable to witness the times when it didn't, which is what happened the majority of the time (often due to long distances.) In a few cases, there were even marriages -- and divorces -- and as a reader, you would feel terrible for the people involved because they would go from announcing, "I FOUND THE ONE GOD HAD FOR ME ON THIS SITE!!!" to "Things Didn't Work Out, And Now They're With Someone Else."

I'm not here nearly as much and am no longer "in the loop" (not that I ever was, I just talked to a lot of people here at that time,) so I have no idea what goes on now, but I would bet that it all still happens, just below the surface instead of center stage. Any time there is an opportunity for online connections, things like this are bound to happen, and I think CC has done its best to keep the riff raff to a minimum.

Like you, Tabin, I always feel called to introduce and try to bring people together. Unfortunately, it also comes with A LOT of fallout.

I always call the dating scene a shark tank, not just because it seems impossible to find someone, but because no matter where you go or what size the pool may be, someone is bound to take a whole bite, as opposed to a nibble, and so there will always be blood in the water.

Hey Seoul, Thanks again for your thoughts and input. We can always rely on you for a well thought out response that is very helpful.

 

[TabinRivCA]

Hi Tabin,

Thanks for thinking of ways for singles to be able to meet and talk to other singles. I joined this site in 2009, and I only mention that because I've seen a lot of what you're suggesting that has gone on during all that time. Just because people aren't stating out in the open that they are meeting others on this site doesn't mean it isn't happening, I assure you. 2018/2019 was a record year for me, as I was able to meet about 7 people from CC (and one particularly awesome CC'er twice.) It's funny because God literally squeezed my last meetup in right before the lockdowns. And these were all people I've known from CC since around 2015 or earlier, so if any of them were waiting for me with a knife behind their back, they had been waiting an awfully long time!

Singles has had several "get things started"-type threads encouraging people to share interests, what they're looking for, what they have to offer, but threads here never last long -- now days a thread can disappear off the main page in an hour (years ago, there was enough activity to sustain them several days to a week or more.) Unfortunately, you can't really keep reviving the same threads about these topics because many of the people who posted might be gone from the site and will never respond. Many people seem to make one intro post and then disappear. I was reading an old thread the other day and nearly everyone in it either said "guest" under their name (they requested to have their account closed) or were banned.

So the suggestion to have "connection" threads is great and actually has been ongoing over the years, but they only occur sporadically because very few people start them. In order for your suggestion to work, people who are here would have to keep re-writing the same threads over and over, and new people who came in would have to volunteer to continuously keep the threads going, rewriting them as they (and old users) disappear in order to keep the responses current.

I find that there are often tons of ideas thrown around for threads or groups or that we should set up things for people to connect.

But when it comes to the actual work, if you ask for volunteers to start, implement, monitor, and keep the methods going... No one has the time or energy to do so, which is understandable. People want the forums to feel like fun, not work. But the fun could only be had if there were people offering do put in the work. 98% of people enjoy posting on the threads, but cannot or do not want to start them, and there's no where to go without a fair amount of people to write and sustain topics of discussion.

"Dating-style" threads are also vehemently opposed by some members who see the singles forum as a welcome escape from such atmospheres, so it's tough to keep a balance that the majority are comfortable with. It's also a little more difficult now for people to just PM each other, because apparently there is a fee to be able to private message (which I think is $25, and I'm not sure if that's a yearly fee or forever?) This fee was not in effect when I joined, and when they added it, those who had already been here were grandfathered in.

And as mentioned, just because no one is talking about who they're talking to on the site, you can almost guarantee that people ARE indeed talking to each other when they are determined enough. The last time we had a series of "getting to know things about people and trying to apply it" threads, I got at least one message from someone who said they had met a lot of people specifically through those threads.

In the past, CC almost DID feel like a dating site, with all the problems that go with it. Live chat had a singles room, and a moderator would come in occasionally and ask each of us on the live mic if we were married or not. We each had to answer publicly in front of the rest of the room, and the mod explained that they were doing this because they had had a lot of problems with people who had left their spouses for someone they found on CC.

We also had problems with catfish (people pretending to be unicorns that others fell in love with and then found out that the person didn't really exist, or at least not in the form they they claimed to be,) cat fights (people fighting each other for mutual objects of affection,) situations in which someone would be the target of another person's unwanted or unwarranted affection, and some people who would compete to see how much attention they could get from the opposite gender.

It was also very common (say around 2015) for people to write threads or make public declarations about who they were dating or talking to on the site, which was wonderful to hear (and I still love hearing when things work out for people.)

But it was also wincingly uncomfortable to witness the times when it didn't, which is what happened the majority of the time (often due to long distances.) In a few cases, there were even marriages -- and divorces -- and as a reader, you would feel terrible for the people involved because they would go from announcing, "I FOUND THE ONE GOD HAD FOR ME ON THIS SITE!!!" to "Things Didn't Work Out, And Now They're With Someone Else."

I'm not here nearly as much and am no longer "in the loop" (not that I ever was, I just talked to a lot of people here at that time,) so I have no idea what goes on now, but I would bet that it all still happens, just below the surface instead of center stage. Any time there is an opportunity for online connections, things like this are bound to happen, and I think CC has done its best to keep the riff raff to a minimum.

Like you, Tabin, I always feel called to introduce and try to bring people together. Unfortunately, it also comes with A LOT of fallout.

I always call the dating scene a shark tank, not just because it seems impossible to find someone, but because no matter where you go or what size the pool may be, someone is bound to take a whole bite, as opposed to a nibble, and so there will always be blood in the water.

What happened was as I read KB's op, I thought he seemed to be disappointed w/dating sites and phonies, when right here on CC there are actual sincere Godly women, some who I dare say would like to get to know him better if presented the chance. That was my train of thought.
We shouldn't hope to find someone perfect but someone who loves the Lord and wants to be committed. Asking for God's wisdom is a must of course.
It's nice to know people are finding a way of connecting behind the scenes, now I can back off in peace, lol.

 

[seoulsearch]

What happened was as I read KB's op, I thought he seemed to be disappointed w/dating sites and phonies, when right here on CC there are actual sincere Godly women, some who I dare say would like to get to know him better if presented the chance. That was my train of thought.
We shouldn't hope to find someone perfect but someone who loves the Lord and wants to be committed. Asking for God's wisdom is a must of course.
It's nice to know people are finding a way of connecting behind the scenes, now I can back off in peace, lol.

It was a lovely suggestion, Tabin.

The number one reason I've heard for relationships not working out through this site is distance (though of course, there could be a plethora of other reasons,) but it seems very rare for people to live within a reasonable distance from each other.

Most of the singles I've known here haven't been shy about talking to someone they were interested in, but honestly, we still need you to kee on kicking our butts into gear now and then, so it's all good!

 

[JustEli]

Ima unicorn Ima unicorn ima unicorn...................... dang Im still JustEli.

 

[Lighthearted]

Ima unicorn Ima unicorn ima unicorn...................... dang Im still JustEli.

You're goofy!

 

[Ruby123]

For the last year or so, Ive been evicting volatile and less than honorable people from my life.
A lil lonely yes. But the way is being paved for a brighter future.

Now I just gotta live up to my own standards............. lol



side note; my wife has been gone nearlly 3 yrs, and does not fall into said categories.

That happened to me too last year. I made friends with a group of people and then God seemed to just put an end to their friendships one by one. At the time I was confused and a little angry because I was looking for friends but upon reflection I have seen that these people were not good for me and God wanted me to move forward. Yes it is lonely but it must mean that God has a plan and a destination he wants you to get to. I have no idea what it is but obviously I must be more on track then I was before

 

[JustEli]

That happened to me too last year. I made friends with a group of people and then God seemed to just put an end to their friendships one by one. At the time I was confused and a little angry because I was looking for friends but upon reflection I have seen that these people were not good for me and God wanted me to move forward. Yes it is lonely but it must mean that God has a plan and a destination he wants you to get to. I have no idea what it is but obviously I must be more on track then I was before

I remember the week my wife left............ I asked "Lord will I ever see her walk down that sidewalk to home again?" the answer, was
"No, I have something better for you."

What that is, Ive no idea, I just know it will be better, and believe with all I have.

Sure do hope, there is someone though. Only time will tell.

 

[Ruby123]

I remember the week my wife left............ I asked "Lord will I ever see her walk down that sidewalk to home again?" the answer, was
"No, I have something better for you."

What that is, Ive no idea, I just know it will be better, and believe with all I have.

Sure do hope, there is someone though. Only time will tell.

You will, if that is what the Lord has said to you then you can count on it happening. He doesn't lie. It will just happen, without you having to plan or struggle. Just get on with things until it happens.

 

[Lion222]

Younger brother would see a different woman one or two time a week.
Usually one date and he was like "Nope, next"
Eventually he went on vacation and stayed at a hotel.
Met a woman on staff there hung out for a week and when he left he said "come with" and she did.
Been together ever sync.

 

[Lion222]

if you come out of the desert and a woman gets you water from the well and then gets water for your animals.
Go and meet her father and then bring he back for your masters son to marry, shes a keeper.

Can you imagine?
Once upon a time people chose based on faith in God alone.

I think these days to many are faithless and it makes me wonder about arranged marriages and their level of success verses the emotionally driven commitments.
We live in a word where no body really knows anyone anymore. i mean what do your really know about the lives of most others in your Church, almost nothing but Sunday show time and a little social chat before and after.

Perhaps we need to bring back the old matchmaker tradition.
Got to know you, got to know your family did the same for all other single people in the village and found you the best match.
If you both where happy she got a good recommendation.

 

[Krumbeard]

Just in case you weren't aware...the dating site I am on has quite a few scammers!

They're about the most active people there!

They keep it interesting. But so predictable.

 

[TabinRivCA]

Just in case you weren't aware...the dating site I am on has quite a few scammers!

They're about the most active people there!

They keep it interesting. But so predictable.

Is it a free site?