Decided not to date...Support Please!?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Jkbyers97
  • Start date Start date
  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
J

Jkbyers97

Guest
So I am 14 and I am going into my freshman year of high school this fall. I have been praying a lot lately and I have come to the decision to not date. I know that this is a smart decision because most dating at my age leads to deeper and later, unwanted, intimacy. Now that I have come to this decision with God... I need a LOT of help keeping with this commitment. Does anyone have any advice to help me?? Absolutely ANYTHING is appreciated! Thanks(:
 
Keep your head in the books and heart in a box.

Or, if you are interested in a boy and vice versa, you could always tell him that, while you like him, you want to wait until you're older (or whatever your reasons are).
 
Honestly boys are trouble. I love my boyfriend with all my heart and I pray to God every night that I will marry him and thanking God for him, but we did some stupid things that I regret, nonetheless I still love him. I think you're making a wise decision at this point in your life, you're 14, boys are very immature at that age. I started dating my boyfriend a year ago (I was 15). I advise you to not date until God says go for it.
 
Or are you 17? Your info bar on the side says you're 17 but your post said 14...
 
I just joined and I accidentally typed in the wrong year of birth. I am 14.
 
Oh okay :) Well you have my support, I think you are making a smart and wise move :)
 
So I am 14 and I am going into my freshman year of high school this fall. I have been praying a lot lately and I have come to the decision to not date. I know that this is a smart decision because most dating at my age leads to deeper and later, unwanted, intimacy. Now that I have come to this decision with God... I need a LOT of help keeping with this commitment. Does anyone have any advice to help me?? Absolutely ANYTHING is appreciated! Thanks(:

It is wise not to date in this time my friend. Very wise. Because I see that now there will be an increase in sexual perversion and promiscuity like in the days of Sodom. I see it coming and there is no reserve in it. However, here is wisdom. If you find someone who you know fears the Lord and desire him, then it would be better to marry as soon as possible. Because inside of marriage you cannot trespass, because it is a covenant established by God. But if you can contain then it is better so that you will be yielded fully to God. Well, may Jesus bless you my friend.
 
Well first thing, put God first and spend time in prayer and worship. Second, get friends who are focused on God and education. If you cant find friends who are focused on God get those focused on education.
Finally try having lots of fun in things that do not involve relationships, like sports, shopping, etc. God bless! hope this helps!
 
So I am 14 and I am going into my freshman year of high school this fall. I have been praying a lot lately and I have come to the decision to not date. I know that this is a smart decision because most dating at my age leads to deeper and later, unwanted, intimacy. Now that I have come to this decision with God... I need a LOT of help keeping with this commitment. Does anyone have any advice to help me?? Absolutely ANYTHING is appreciated! Thanks(:
Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuude. :D
Okay, so personally, I think that relationships are a distraction from GOD if they aren't the right people.
But my friend told me something interesting. She's all like
"Well I got this really cute guy to text me, and I've been waiting for like 7 hours for him to reply. And I was so happy and I start jumping around everytime i hear my ringtone. :D
And then GOD kinda [spoke] to me in a way and HE said 'Well, why aren't you overjoyed for me like that?"
That kinda hit her bad. And now she doesn't have any interest in dating.
Idk, that may help. :)
 
I made the same commitment about a year ago! On your part it is a very wise decision! If you go to my profile there are some books I have listed that you might like to read. : ]
 
nice, good decision. though your young God really enlighten you to make a decision that will inspire others your age. keep it up! i'm 20 and since when i was 14 i already knew not to commit my self to anyone till i finish college and get a real job. so right now what keeps me focus is not just education and career but serving God as well, every weekend me and my friends organize a feeding program in some depressed area in our community. i've realize that if your single you have a lot of time in your family, real friends and time in serving God through His people. the best feeling in the world and it makes you focus in what is important in life--Be an extention of God's love. God speed.
 
Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuude. :D
Okay, so personally, I think that relationships are a distraction from GOD if they aren't the right people.
But my friend told me something interesting. She's all like
"Well I got this really cute guy to text me, and I've been waiting for like 7 hours for him to reply. And I was so happy and I start jumping around everytime i hear my ringtone. :D
And then GOD kinda [spoke] to me in a way and HE said 'Well, why aren't you overjoyed for me like that?"
That kinda hit her bad. And now she doesn't have any interest in dating.
Idk, that may help. :)

Haha that's a funny view on it :)
It's true though :p
 
You have put this in GOD's hands and HE will give you the strength you need. I really hope that, if you decide to date in the future, that you will find the man of your dreams. But, as for now, you need alot of distraction. Doing school work is distracting enough. You should focus on GOD, studying, realizing what you want to be when you get out of high school if you decide to go to college, and maybe you can join a sport or the FCA(I think that's what it's called). You can help contribute to the environment. :)
 
Joshua Harris book - I Kissed Dating Goodbye

Elizabeth Elliott book - Passion & Purity

Books I've both read, one twice, one three times, both relate powerful, touching messages about waiting for God regarding getting to know the opposite sex.
 
Ummmm you can still have a very Godly relationship at that early age. I did have "girlfriends" when i was younger and i do not regret it one bit, it forms you as a person and you obviously get to have a deeper you could say "friendship" with some1 and learn to have an emotional tie with a person.(i did not do anything sexually wrong if you got that impression)

Though i do support you if its YOUR decision and wasnt forced upon you. Maybe in a couple years you might rethink this sooner rather then later hormones will kick in and you will be like every normal teenager wanting to "experiment" and get to learn more about yourself.

Godbless you hope this helped you.
Cliff
 
So I am 14 and I am going into my freshman year of high school this fall. I have been praying a lot lately and I have come to the decision to not date. I know that this is a smart decision because most dating at my age leads to deeper and later, unwanted, intimacy. Now that I have come to this decision with God... I need a LOT of help keeping with this commitment. Does anyone have any advice to help me?? Absolutely ANYTHING is appreciated! Thanks(:

:D :D :D Great decision!! I made the same when I was 15, that I wouldn't date until I at least graduated high school. It was tough, but great. It got real tough when a nice guy came along at the end of my senior year. Looking back, I realize we did date without "officially" dating. We spent a lot of time alone together and did things that dating couples do, knowing we had feelings towards each other. It ended up hurting both of us, one because of the undefined relationship and the confusion that came with it, and two because the relationship was not of God and when He put a stop to it, neither of us were happy.

My advise to you based on my experience is know your standards. Ask yourself: What will you do when a guy starts texting you more than usual or more than other guy friends? What will you do when a guy wants to ask you out? Is alone time with a guy friend okay? Or how much alone time is okay? What is considered a date? How will you stay accountable to people that will encourage you to keep seeking God's will? Know what you want, why, and how to stick to it, and you'll do better than I did. :D

But the most helpful tool is prayer. After that whole situation, I started praying that God would GUARD MY HEART and He has.
 
I would say it's a good decision if it fits you, but personally I would never do it. It's completely possible to have Godly relationships in high school you just have to find the right person, which I will admit is harder today than it used to be. I thought I found that kind of girl once, but it turned out her parents were staunchly opposed to Catholicism, so I decided against trying to date her so as not to stir up strife in her family over their daughter dating a Catholic.
 
i completely support you. trust me its one of the first things i did as i becamed a christian. i have had a lot of apportunities to lose my virginity but i never did cause god was there. wen i first felt his spirit trust me it will be so easy to let go of that distraction. all u think is about him. pray for several hours. aslong as u can and trust me an answer will happen