Thank you guys I really appreciate taking the time to post this. My biggest fear was not knowing if i committed it and then at the end of my life not being with God but being in hell. Thank you for being here for me ❤
I know others already answered, but just for your extra peace of mind.
1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is
faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from ALL unrighteousness.
Cleanse from ALL unrighteousness. NO forgiveness is withheld if we ask.
So unpardonable sin, then must be the sin that man refuses to repent of and confess...
That's why so many people conclude that the unpardonable sin = rejecting God = never coming to repentance.
In context, the Pharisees to whom this was told, regularly saw Jesus heal people, and they were envious that
people followed Him and not them, and that's why they said that He had a demon, although they knew better. They knew well that only Holy Spirit can raise dead and give sight to the blind and make people walk. Demons don't do that. It's not about some word formula they said, it's about them
knowing who Jesus was, yet rejecting God
knowingly. They
knew in their hearts they were fighting against and slandered the Holy Spirit and remained
unrepentant:
After healing a blind man, this is said.
John 9:39 And Jesus said, For judgment I am come into this world, that they which see not might see
[see Jesus the light of the world, aka repent from their sins; read the whole chapter Jesus talks about Himself being the light while restoring the man's sight];
and that they which see
[the proud who don't enter the Kingdom and won't let others enter either] might be made blind
[heart hardens from unbelief].
40 And
some of the Pharisees which were with him heard these words, and said unto him, Are we blind also?
41 Jesus said unto them, If ye were
blind [admitting that they were "blind", aka acknowledging they sinned against God], ye should have
no sin [be forgiven]: but now ye say,
We see;
therefore your sin remaineth.
[sin remained on the unrepentant people; but the blind man after being given sight believes and worships Jesus in the same chapter]
Removing blindness is symbol of repentance, same happens with the apostle Paul, he becomes temporarily blind and then scales fall off his eyes and he becomes a new person. But when someone won't admit their own spiritual blindness and come to be healed, it's not possible to heal them.
John 12:19 The Pharisees therefore said among themselves, Perceive ye how ye prevail nothing?
behold, the world is gone after him.
["people are not following US anymore, they are following Jesus, how do we STOP him!"]
They knew Jesus was sent by God... but they wanted to stop Him!
God has understanding that you struggle with what is usually called "intrusive thoughts". And probably every one of us had that scary thought out of fear at some extent, because the idea of unpardonable sin is indeed scary. Satan seems to enjoy frightening people with this, attacking and terrorizing, especially through our illnesses and weaknesses, but God looks at your heart. Don't be afraid.