Shyness and the Gospel

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Kojikun

Well-known member
Oct 5, 2018
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#1
So once again here is a biblical question (Since the bible is the source of my constant dispare) I notice that if you dont share the gospel it's a sin (even when I'm not doing anything I'm still an awful sinner) but I have extreme social anxiety. I dont even like making eye contact let alone share the Gospel which many rather not hear. So what do I do? I cannot just walk up to someone and share the Gospel. Is this just another reason I'll burn for Eternity? Honesty this is feeling more and more pointless the more I think about it.
 
Aug 16, 2020
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#2
I want a answer too, but I think my mom put it best: "We go where God calls us to go to."

I felt bad when I was reading a mini-bible study plan on my bible app, and it was about this christian woman who was able to pretend her age and share so many of the awful stuff that planned parenthood does when she sneaked into the company, to share and find out the bad stuff they do. I know I wouldn't have the courage to do something so brave, but my mom told me it's okay. But is it okay that I kind of prefer to not do volunteer work (Cause we are supposed to serve everyone, in working to show God's love, it says in the bible) cause I don't want people randomly hugging me if I touch their heart or something like that. Is it okay to just give money?

I know I can probably get my answers through prayer, and I do pray for God to guide me as I try to follow him. But then that worry comes up, cause I know not choosing to do volunteer work is frowned upon in the christian community, if I remember correctly, lol.
 

GaryA

Truth, Honesty, Love, Courage
Aug 10, 2019
9,799
4,303
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mywebsite.us
#3
So once again here is a biblical question (Since the bible is the source of my constant dispare) I notice that if you dont share the gospel it's a sin (even when I'm not doing anything I'm still an awful sinner) but I have extreme social anxiety. I dont even like making eye contact let alone share the Gospel which many rather not hear. So what do I do? I cannot just walk up to someone and share the Gospel. Is this just another reason I'll burn for Eternity? Honesty this is feeling more and more pointless the more I think about it.
Step 1:

Read and study the Bible as much and often as you can. When your constant despair turns into consistent confidence, then proceed to Step 2.

Step 2:

By the time you reach Step 2, you will better understand what to do then...

:)

(In other words - trust in God and let Him build you up...)
 
T

TheIndianGirl

Guest
#4
I dont even like making eye contact let alone share the Gospel which many rather not hear. So what do I do? I cannot just walk up to someone and share the Gospel.
I try to make it known that I am Christian. Easiest way I have found is to let people know that you celebrate Easter during that time of the year. If someone is clearly anti-Christian or devout in another religion and have made it clear that they do not want convert, etc. I respect their wish and do not push myself on them. If you make it known you are Christian, it will pique the interest of those who want to know more (or want to argue), and you can go from there.
 

Lighthearted

Senior Member
Oct 17, 2016
1,779
818
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#5
So once again here is a biblical question (Since the bible is the source of my constant dispare) I notice that if you dont share the gospel it's a sin (even when I'm not doing anything I'm still an awful sinner) but I have extreme social anxiety. I dont even like making eye contact let alone share the Gospel which many rather not hear. So what do I do? I cannot just walk up to someone and share the Gospel. Is this just another reason I'll burn for Eternity? Honesty this is feeling more and more pointless the more I think about it.
Seriously, just let the unbeliever see His light in you through your fruits. If you don't feel able to do more, the Lord will take it from there. :)

Just remember that with God, all things impossible are made possible. He can heal your shyness and give you strength. :)
 

Mii

Well-known member
Mar 23, 2019
2,082
1,329
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#6
@Kojikun I don't share the gospel in a traditional way myself. I'm not sure how old you are, but getting over that fear and anxiety even in online interactions will happen eventually.

What does spreading the gospel mean to you? For me it means living out my faith and being on the lookout for open doors. Does that look like street preaching for some? Sure.

Or it could be chance (to me) conversations and some of them might lead to effectively gauging how to navigate God, the bible and then the messiah. I don't lead out with Jesus, he leads me in if that makes sense.

Don't feel pressured by the enemy to witness or you aren't a believer. That's coercion. Do you really think the Lord is coercive? A believer is a light and will witness just by being who they are. How could you possibly share the gospel in swahili? What purpose is overseas missions if you don't know the language? We all speak a shared language, people are hungry...don't hide your light, but neither discredit it by assuming overmuch about what sharing the gospel means. Sometimes it can be just an act of kindness that opens a door in a way that talking about Jesus right off the bat when someone is depressed and angry (or hurting) will only push them away.

If you are a evangelist that's one thing. This is a gift and not everyone has it.

I say all this from personal experience. I too have been guilted by this very thing...there may be some truth in it, but please don't listen to the accuser in this matter. Neither accuse yourself, but submit it to the Lord and trust him. He will make your paths straight...

I'll admit that it does get irritating to see so little fruit in my life...but to others maybe they see a lot. In fact, some conversations I've fallen into have baffled me how deeply rooted my faith is, even when just prior I may have been giving audience to doubts. I'm 29, it's taken a while to see anything like this happen. Who knows what is yet future?

Don't beat yourself up. I have, and given audience to this type of thing...it doesn't lead anywhere productive. There may be some self-examination to be done (usually is for me) but don't do it under duress. Jesus didn't start his ministry publicly until he was 30 neither did Joseph go before Pharaoh. Some people start young and some late, that doesn't "always" indicate something negative.
 

Deuteronomy

Well-known member
Jun 11, 2018
3,319
3,677
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#7
So once again here is a biblical question (Since the bible is the source of my constant dispare) I notice that if you dont share the gospel it's a sin (even when I'm not doing anything I'm still an awful sinner) but I have extreme social anxiety. I dont even like making eye contact let alone share the Gospel which many rather not hear. So what do I do? I cannot just walk up to someone and share the Gospel. Is this just another reason I'll burn for Eternity? Honesty this is feeling more and more pointless the more I think about it.
Hello Kojikun, did you know that as God's adopted daughter He actually cared for and loved you from before the time you were born, that there has, in fact, ~never~ been a time, even in eternity past, when He did not love you? (nor will there ever be such a time, now, or forevermore) So, in a very real sense, you could say that He never chose to love you .. because He has ALWAYS loved you :) .. e.g. Psalm 139:16; Jeremiah 31:3; Ephesians 1:4-6.

That's why pastor/theologian Charles Spurgeon was able to say (at the end of his February 27th Evening Devotional),

"Everlasting love shall be the pillow for my head this night."

He (who knows the end from the beginning .. Isaiah 46:9-10) knew EXACTLY who/what He was getting when He saved you (IOW, He knew what you would chose to do during every minute of every day of your life, but He went ahead and saved you anyway, just like He did for me :)). You, as His child, are important to Him because of who you are to Him, NOT because of what you do for Him (IOW, God sees you as a human being, not as a human doing, just to throw a little psychobabble into the mix, lol ;)).

So, if you know Him and love Him, and if He loves you and knows you too, then you will never "burn" (for eternity, or even for a day).

That said, from the moment that the Father justifies/saves us, He begins to sanctify/transform us into the likeness of His Son. He also enables us to join in the work of sanctification with Him, and He expects that we will do so (as we are able to anyway) .. Philippians 1:6, 2:12-13. Granted, I believe that an important part of being sanctified includes choosing to share our faith with others (as we are able to and as He leads us), but I don't believe that He expects us to just jump right into the deep end and get busy witnessing if we aren't ready to. Perhaps, like Mary, you need to continue to sit at His feet, learn from Him and grow in the faith a bit more .. Luke 10:38-42.

As for practical ways to finally begin to witness and share your faith with others, first off, dig deeply into God's word everyday, learning as much as you can about Him and His incredible love for you and for others. Also, pray that He will begin to help you see others with His eyes (such that you become more concerned with their salvation and them liking/loving you in the age to come, rather than being overly concerned about how much they like you on this side of the grave).

You also have a great resource out here in online Christendom because of all the unbelievers that post here regularly (and on other Christian forums too), unbelievers who actually WANT to talk to Christians about their faith :) That way you don't have to be face to face with them when you witness to them, and what you learn out here about witnessing will transfer nicely to face to face situations in the future (y)(y)

Also, 1. remember that only God can save someone (we are just His witnesses), and 2. don't expect people to come to Christ every time you witness, as they may not be ready yet. You will probably just be a part of their journey (rather than their journey's end), but remember that each little bit of knowledge and understanding that they glean from you, as well as the Christian compassion and love that they receive from/remember about you, will all be a part of the reason that they finally come to saving faith in Christ .. e.g. 1 Corinthians 3:5-9.

Finally, you might want to pick up this book, because it will help you learn how to engage the people you are hoping to witness to by using "leading questions" (so that they can consider/think through what you have to say to them and come to their own conclusions). It's a great way for someone who is shy to witness because the people you are witnessing to end up engaging you with questions of their own. That way, you also know that they can't get too mad at you, because rather than feeding them the truth, you'll be helping them to discover it for themselves!! Here's the book I was referring to.

Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition: A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions Paperback – November 26, 2019



~Deut
p.s. - it may also help you to begin to be aware of people around you, especially people who are hurting, whether you know them or not, because people who are hurting are always looking for an answer to get them past their pain. I know I was, and I was SO thankful that someone recognized how badly I was hurting and how much I needed to know the Lord :) He was a colleague of mine, and interestingly, after asking me if I was all right, he told me that he knew what the answer was that I needed to hear, but he said that he didn't think I was ready to hear it (which, of course, made me want to hear what he had to say all the more ;)).

.
 

Mii

Well-known member
Mar 23, 2019
2,082
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#8
Oh and I had meant to add but it's late and I didn't even realize I was editing until the 5 minutes were up.

Have you ever thought about what planting is vs watering? BOTH are important functions of spreading the gospel and I think people put evangelism as "sharing the gospel" and this is only ONE part of it :)

I'm not going to get specific, but we all have different functions. If you know for certain you are not using a gift that is one thing. If you don't know how or don't feel ready yet. No worries...The Lord will make that clear. Also recall the love verse "love is patient, love is kind..." Pressuring you into something doesn't seem patient to me. Giving you a "nudge" is different. Prodding you off the plank (if it sincerely feels this way) is probably the enemy. Of course, continue to discern, but don't become frenzied. Rest.

For whatever reason I'm thinking about the parable of the sower. I don't see how it connects but perhaps re-familiarizing yourself with that will be helpful.


@Deuteronomy ty for the human being vs human doing thing. I had a personal revelation along these lines and that encloses it well and helps me further
 

SoulWeaver

Senior Member
Oct 25, 2014
4,889
2,534
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#9
Believe me Koji, if God tells you to preach the Gospel to someone, you will know it. He will lay it upon you heavily. You will have to rush to do it, or else!

The Gospel is not as unfamiliar or inaccessible now as it used to be in the 33 A.D. People in the West have heard about Jesus, and know what He's about.

This isn't to mean, not to preach the Gospel. I am only saying, when God wants you to do something, you know the right thing that you should do, and you do it.

But when enemy wants to rob your joy, he sends you guilt and NO SOLUTION. What is the fruit? Confusion, distress. See, now you're feeling confused, not knowing what to do. That's not how God operates, that's the enemy. And I know, it's hard. I get attacked on the daily in similar ways because I was blamed for everything growing up so I struggle even today with faults and doubts. But you have to discern fruitless guilt and take courage and keep going until you're set firmly, because God doesn't do fruitless things. Take courage and keep going because feeling like that and thinking like that doesn't have to be your reality. And helping the world starts on the inside. Is that really salvation, just so one can stress 24/7 that they will go to hell? What kind of "My peace I give you" is that? You must stick to the truth until it takes root in your mind... this is the "be transformed by renewing of your mind".

1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
 

SoulWeaver

Senior Member
Oct 25, 2014
4,889
2,534
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#10
Being courageous and pressing forward in the face of the enemy is now part of YOU, Koji. Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. We claim the promise of Jesus that you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. You already know that Jesus isn't set out to abandon His children, or set you up to fail, or torment you with constant worry fear and doubt. Light of the TRUTH brightens your mind and you clearly discern the enemy tactics. Every time, you choose to follow the truth. Be free, now. In Jesus' mighty name AMEN
 

Camess

Well-known member
Aug 11, 2020
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#11
I try to make it known that I am Christian. Easiest way I have found is to let people know that you celebrate Easter during that time of the year. If someone is clearly anti-Christian or devout in another religion and have made it clear that they do not want convert, etc. I respect their wish and do not push myself on them. If you make it known you are Christian, it will pique the interest of those who want to know more (or want to argue), and you can go from there.
This isn't very good advice regarding Easter. Most nonchristians will celebrate Easter(aka bunny and candy) and some Christians don't celebrate it at all. So it doesn't mean a thing if u bring that up. (Just a thought to consider)
 

Kojikun

Well-known member
Oct 5, 2018
4,658
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#12
Thanks yall. I remembered something last night. I remember I felt God okayed my writing. That's a way i can reach people too.
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
10,463
2,689
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#13
as an introvert, it's difficult to talk to others sometimes. but the Lord makes a way. people noticed i'm a christian by the way i act/talk/work. at my previous job, i don't think i ever said, "i'm a christian," but people knew. i mentioned going to church and being a part of the music team. most of them even tried to limit the cussing when i was around lol. i never asked them to do that, but i knew they did it out of respect.

the Lord also uses our talents to share His love. i don't talk to a lot of people, but singing for me is easier. we can also use our social media to share His truth in love. i upload bible verses i brush letter. when i'm at the store or restaurant, i always try to be a great customer because i'm sure the employees get their fair share of rude people. God is creative. He is able to use each one of us. :)
 
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TheIndianGirl

Guest
#14
This isn't very good advice regarding Easter. Most nonchristians will celebrate Easter(aka bunny and candy) and some Christians don't celebrate it at all. So it doesn't mean a thing if u bring that up. (Just a thought to consider)
Telling people I celebrate Easter has worked for me and has prompted conversations about religion.
 

Kojikun

Well-known member
Oct 5, 2018
4,658
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#15
I suppose even if I cant find the courage to speak I can always pray
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
4,049
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#16
I want a answer too, but I think my mom put it best: "We go where God calls us to go to."

I felt bad when I was reading a mini-bible study plan on my bible app, and it was about this christian woman who was able to pretend her age and share so many of the awful stuff that planned parenthood does when she sneaked into the company, to share and find out the bad stuff they do. I know I wouldn't have the courage to do something so brave, but my mom told me it's okay. But is it okay that I kind of prefer to not do volunteer work (Cause we are supposed to serve everyone, in working to show God's love, it says in the bible) cause I don't want people randomly hugging me if I touch their heart or something like that. Is it okay to just give money?

I know I can probably get my answers through prayer, and I do pray for God to guide me as I try to follow him. But then that worry comes up, cause I know not choosing to do volunteer work is frowned upon in the christian community, if I remember correctly, lol.
That last line may he more of the type of Christians you're around. There is No biblical mandate that states you Must go volunteer. And if Christians have a problem with you for not doing so They are the ones who have a problem and are creating rules out of thin air to pressure others into obedience to Their demands, not God.
I've never known a Christian that went out regularly or often to volunteer. That's in 30 years.
Good works are meant to be done out of a personal desire and cheerfully, to be biblical, not out of peer pressure.
 
Aug 16, 2020
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#17
That last line may he more of the type of Christians you're around. There is No biblical mandate that states you Must go volunteer. And if Christians have a problem with you for not doing so They are the ones who have a problem and are creating rules out of thin air to pressure others into obedience to Their demands, not God.
I've never known a Christian that went out regularly or often to volunteer. That's in 30 years.
Good works are meant to be done out of a personal desire and cheerfully, to be biblical, not out of peer pressure.
Okay thanks, it just seems like it is something we must do since the church stresses about how important it is to serve community and to help at the church in any way possible like helping Sunday school programs or with the technology, but to be honest that is what the Community church I used to go was saying, not my current church. Maybe that’s why my Dad felt like he needed to help out in a place nearby, cause they were doing something to help feed the hungry, and he dragged me and my brother to go along. I wasn’t having fun because I did not want to go, yes this happened a long time ago, like I’m pretty sure I was in the 8th or 9th grade, but I’m better nowadays cause now I know God, I didn’t know him back then.

What I try to do is “To show the joy I have in God” by telling everyone where I work: “Have a God blessed day”, and I feel like it gets my joy across, sometimes work is rough or I get in a bad mood, but I’ll always say that regardless because I want people to know how much God matters to me. It actually made one gentleman say thanks to me and tell me about his life a bit, so even if everyone doesn’t respond, it does spread the message and the joy God has for everyone.
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
4,049
3,154
113
#18
So once again here is a biblical question (Since the bible is the source of my constant dispare) I notice that if you dont share the gospel it's a sin (even when I'm not doing anything I'm still an awful sinner) but I have extreme social anxiety. I dont even like making eye contact let alone share the Gospel which many rather not hear. So what do I do? I cannot just walk up to someone and share the Gospel. Is this just another reason I'll burn for Eternity? Honesty this is feeling more and more pointless the more I think about it.
I used to struggle with the same issue. A few ideas..
Don't feel you have to, at all times, be in your face about being a Christian. Also work at not hiding it. If it's a part of your life let it come out naturally. Just let that part of you be spojen about the same way you would talk about anything else. People will appreciate you not being forceful and unnatural in your expression of your faith, nor will you feel guilty for not saying anything. And if you have a relaxed attitude about it that may encourage others to ask you.

An often dismissed concept taugt in the bible is we are not meant to be clones. The bible teaches that Christians are a body, and within a body there are different parts, each meant to be used in different ways. Maybe it's not your place to be a bold preacher. I wasn't. So rather than try to force myself to be something that was unnatural to me I rather focused on what I was good at and utilize that as a way to help others.

Soon as someone tells you that you Must fit into one specific role they are not saying what the bible teaches, but their personal rules. So ignore them.
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
4,049
3,154
113
#19
Okay thanks, it just seems like it is something we must do since the church stresses about how important it is to serve community and to help at the church in any way possible like helping Sunday school programs or with the technology, but to be honest that is what the Community church I used to go was saying, not my current church. Maybe that’s why my Dad felt like he needed to help out in a place nearby, cause they were doing something to help feed the hungry, and he dragged me and my brother to go along. I wasn’t having fun because I did not want to go, yes this happened a long time ago, like I’m pretty sure I was in the 8th or 9th grade, but I’m better nowadays cause now I know God, I didn’t know him back then.

What I try to do is “To show the joy I have in God” by telling everyone where I work: “Have a God blessed day”, and I feel like it gets my joy across, sometimes work is rough or I get in a bad mood, but I’ll always say that regardless because I want people to know how much God matters to me. It actually made one gentleman say thanks to me and tell me about his life a bit, so even if everyone doesn’t respond, it does spread the message and the joy God has for everyone.
Sounds like you've got a healthier attitude about it all now. Good to hear.
Just find ways you Do enjoy helping and do that. Sometimes the help you can provide is to other Christians as well. I had an easier time helping other Christians one on one than I did serving in public.
I remember as a teen helping at my church with random things. If I was around and could help with something, i helped. It was usually small, but often times intent means more than which action is performed. And i think a lot of serving is small things.
As one song line put it "is God asking you to crawl to China, or just to cross the street?".
 
Aug 19, 2020
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#20
Just noticed this thread and haven't had time to read everyone else's posts but just thought I'd throw in my two cents, fwiw.

If you have a desire to share the gospel then that's actually a stepping stone to actually carrying it out. It's normal for many people to be worried or intimidated by it because it's not something we're used to, but having a mind to doing it is how we approach it until it becomes reality and normal. I highly recommend the book "Sharing Jesus Without Fear" by William Fay. He goes through easy steps and explanations of how normal sharing the gospel can be, what it looks like, and how even the most timid Christian can be a witness to those around. If you have a desire to share the gospel, it will happen. Pick up the book if you need to, be on the lookout for people who you feel needs to hear God's word, be prepared to share, pray about it, and maybe even ask Christian friends role play with you to help get a sense of what sharing with someone might look like.

P.S. The ISBN for the book is 978-0-8054-1839-2.