How does the the Fruit of Spirit “Agape Love” work in a Christian marriage?
The Fruit of the Spirit “Agape Love” - The God Kind of Love
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Ephesians 5:25; "Husbands, love (agapao) your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it"
Contemporary Christianity mainly miss God's New Testament Economy. They take up where the Old Testament leaves off, but change the rules. For many, the underlying understanding is that in Israel, God was in the Tabernacle behind a curtain and they were outside, serving and worshiping with their behavior regulated by about 620 Laws. Now, the judge that Christ, their Savior and Head, is in heaven sitting at the right hand of God and ruling, while we Christians are on earth, serving and worshiping with about 2,400 commands in the New Testament (and who knows how many additional man-made laws added). John Chapter 14 is taught to mean that Jesus went away to prepare a place in heaven for us, when tired and dusty from our sojourn on earth, we finally enter the Paradise of Heaven.
But the Bible makes a huge contrast between Old and New. Israel of Old had God dwelling WITH them in a House made with hands. Since resurrection day, the Triune God dwells IN the Christian, and rules from there. In His death, Christ created a New Man, made with members FROM the Nation of Israel, and members FROM the Nations. And the rule is organic. Christ, both God and Man, goes through the whole process of human incarnation, birth, human living, human living under Law, human suffering, human death and human resurrection. In this whole process, He ADDS organically the whole PERFECT humanity to His divinity and then coes to live IN THE BELIEVER as the Holy Spirit. And from the human spirit, He starts a work of permeating the believer with His HUMANITY. It is thus, in Colossians 1:27; "To whom God would make known what is the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles; which is Christ IN you, the hope of glory."
So scripture, foreseeing this additional INPUT from the "processed Christ", TEACHES AS IF THE BELIEVER IS EXERCISING THIS PERFECT HUMANITY. In Matthew 5 the rebirth is ASSUMED, and we must be able to turn the other cheek (Matt.5:39). But this addition of Christ IN a man does not suddenly annul the old man. And a battle ensues. The man has a long history of the old, and the old nature must replaced by a transforming work. So the man could love his wife via "eros". Or he could love his wife with "philadelphia". Both are valid "loves", but they can fail because of man's old temper. Only "agape" is unfailing. So if both parties in a marriage are Christian, and both partners are turning to their spirits, "agape" ensues. But if one, or both, turn back to the old, "philadelphia" and "eros" must bear the burden. They can, but they are apt to fail. Only that which is divine, established by Christ, and proceeding from Christ, will prevail.
This is the content of Romans Chapter 8. A man with His God IN him.
1 Corinthians 13:5 AMPC
It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].
If "Agape Love," the God kind of Love takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]: why are there more or the same amount of divorces with Christians, than the world? Why are most Christian marriages sexless?
It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].
If "Agape Love," the God kind of Love takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]: why are there more or the same amount of divorces with Christians, than the world? Why are most Christian marriages sexless?
When we misplace our faith, and trust in anything other than Christ and His work at the Cross, we have fallen from Grace (Galatians 5:1-4), and then the Sin Nature revives and we die (Romans 7:9), which means we are out of the fruit bearing place, because the Holy Spirit is only legally allowed to work in our lives through our faith in the legal work of Christ at the Cross which legally justified us! Romans 8:2
Pastor Curtis
Question I asked Pastor Curtis:
Bible study question? If the Believer is frustrating Grace by their Faith being misplace; by not placing and maintaining their Faith exclusively in Christ and Him Crucified - will Grace continue to much more abound over sin in the life of a Believer?
Pastor Curtis answer:
No sir I do not believe that it will according to Gal 1:6, 5:1-4 and other scriptures. The word “frustrate” means to deny or to set aside. Grace only takes place “through faith”. Grace is God doing something in, for, to or through someone through their faith. Hope this helps.
To think we need something other than what God has provided for us in Christ and His atoning work at Calvary, is to tell God, “The Cross was not enough.” Until the Church returns to faith in the Cross alone, there will be no repentance granted, for repentance can only take place as one acknowledges the Truth (2 Timothy 2:24-26), which is Jesus Christ and Him Crucified.
Take heed to what is being said. I will continue to repost this!
Pastor Curtis
Pastor Curtis
Question I asked Pastor Curtis:
Bible study question? If the Believer is frustrating Grace by their Faith being misplace; by not placing and maintaining their Faith exclusively in Christ and Him Crucified - will Grace continue to much more abound over sin in the life of a Believer?
Pastor Curtis answer:
No sir I do not believe that it will according to Gal 1:6, 5:1-4 and other scriptures. The word “frustrate” means to deny or to set aside. Grace only takes place “through faith”. Grace is God doing something in, for, to or through someone through their faith. Hope this helps.
To think we need something other than what God has provided for us in Christ and His atoning work at Calvary, is to tell God, “The Cross was not enough.” Until the Church returns to faith in the Cross alone, there will be no repentance granted, for repentance can only take place as one acknowledges the Truth (2 Timothy 2:24-26), which is Jesus Christ and Him Crucified.
Take heed to what is being said. I will continue to repost this!
Pastor Curtis
What about "philw (φιλω)" love of God? Revelation 3:19?
You do realize that they are the same thing, just using parallel words?
Perhaps you would like to take a test?
Go to time index: 48:30 and start there, and finish honestly.
I guess my posting # 2 was too short to show my point. So let us look at it from another angle.
The Law of Moses achieved one grand point. It showed that fallen man, with the fallen Adamic nature, was not capable of being obedient to outward rules and regulation. Israel, who had Genesis, might have discovered this if they had read it carefully. When God made man He made no LEGAL requirements. He made man a certian way for a certain purpose and then "COMMANDED" him to EAT (Gen.2:16). When you eat something your body is constructed by God to cause the fruit or meat to undergo a process whereby it becomes ORGANICALLY ONE with you. If I cut you open 6 hours after eating an apple, will I find an apple? No. It has become ONE with your being. And your health and strength as a man is totally dependent on what you eat.
Christ is presented first as a Tree with fruit in Eden, then He is presented to Israel as a Lamb to be eaten, then He is presented as Manna, then as the Bread of Life and finally as the Water of Life. Christ does not present Himself as a New Law. He presents Himself as FOOD. And when a man takes Him in the man is so constructed by God that Christ's Nature becomes ORGANICALLY ONE with the man. So EATING and DRINKING Christ per mouth introduces the divine nature into man (2nd Pet.1:4). The whole Book of John is dedicated to get God's LIFE into man (Jn.20:30-31).
Once a man has the LIFE of Christ in him, he then possesses TWO NATURES - (i) the fallen Adamic Nature in the flesh, and (ii) the Christ-Nature in the human spirit. The soul is caught in between in a battle (Gal.5:14). As Romans Chapter 7 says, you can set your MIND (the main part of the soul) on the flesh - and this will bring death to all that you set your hand to, OR, you can set your MIND on the spirit. If you do this, the LAW of LIFE IN CHRIST makes you free from the LAW of SIN AND DEATH. But you have to decide EVERY TIME. In your human spirit DWELLS Christ, and in your human body DWELLS "NO GOOD THING". When you see your wife for the first time in the morning you might remember what she said to you yesterday about your driving. At this moment you are faced with tapping into the FLESH, or tapping into the SPIRIT. YOU DECIDE. If you tap into your human spirit, where Christ dwells, you will love your wife with Christ's Love - agape. It will not fail. It will not take offense. I will endure all manner of insults and conflict. But if you tap into your flesh, your human love will FAIL and you will produce death in your relationship.
The reason why the Christian divorce rate is as high as the heathen is because Christianity largely tells you what the RULES are. They do not coach you to turn to your spirit. They want to apply a DOCTRINE, or a RULE, but success lies in a PERSON - Jesus Christ living in you by the Holy Spirit. This goes for everything in our daily lives. How long should your wife's hair be? ASK CHRIST in your spirit! How long should your wife's dress be? Ask Jesus in your spirit. May you drink and smoke? Ask Jesus. If your wife is disrespectful when you point out that she should wear a head covering when praying or prophesying, you can turn to your flesh and give her a tongue-lashing, OR you can turn to your spirit and, with gracious words, tell the truth IN LOVE. The LAW of LIFE in Christ sets you free from the LAW of sin and death.
In the same way, a marriage can become sexless. What happened when Adam and Eve ate from the Tree of KNOWLEDGE? They immediately had a problem with their bodies and tried to cover them. And so it has been since that fateful day. God made man and woman naked and in good order. Man's disobedience and the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of GOOD and EVIL made nakedness an intrinsic problem. If one, or both of the marriage has problems with sex it just shows how much they have eaten from this Tree of death. There may be physical problems as well, but I am not competent to comment on this. If both parners love the Lord and seek Him, some agreement can be reached, for the ISSUE of the Lord's LIFE IN US is AGAPE - a love that seeks the benefit of the OTHER.
If all the players on a hockey team were the "captain", there would be no captain. Most marriages today run on the premise that this is a "fifty-fifty" deal. The Bible says to make a marriage work, there must be a "head" that leads in rightness, or the actions of love. The other partner must be in submission to that leadership and honor that leader in respect to that God given role. The major problem is that the roles are not exercised in their proper genders. All kinds of excuses are given, but unless the roles are sustained as given, divorce or chaos are the end results. Ephesians 5: 22-33.
If you tap into your human spirit, where Christ dwells, you will love your wife with Christ's Love - agape.
How do Christians “tap into their human spirit, where Christ dwells?”
The very first action is to call on His Name. Most often a situation escalates too fast to make any preparations. When Peter asked if he could come to the Lord by walking on the stormy waters, he had time to formulate his request. But as he sank he had just seconds to turn his focus from the waves to Christ. When your wife or husband makes an inappropriate comment, your mind processes it in less than a second, your emotions well up, and you are set at a T-Junction with no warning. Your will will decide if you give back, or ignore it, or if you will seek revenge later. In that second you have one resource. Call on Jesus' name. Don't be afraid to do it out loud. It will show your partner that you have been moved but are turning to Christ for the next Chapter of this incidence.
Your next most effective move is to have spent a quiet time with the Lord first thing after waking up. Israel were to collect their manna before the sun melted it. That 15 minutes you spent with the Lord reading His Word and praying will prevent a spiritual "low blood-sugar". You will have the ammunition to extend the time of decision by initially just keeping quiet. The spirit works like the body. If it is starved, its response will be weak and irrational. If it is full of the Bread of Life, it can cope much better.
The next point of defense is your willingness to deny yourself. Even if you have neglected your morning time with the Lord, and your spirit is low, if you have schooled yourself to bind your thoughts, will and emotions, you have won 50% of the battle. Remember, this battle is NOT with your wife or husband. It is between the flesh and the spirit. If you are used to fighting for your rights, you will ignore your spirit.
Now, not all situations are fixed by retreat. If you are the husband you are the head of the woman. You must give yourself for her and the children, but NOT relinquish your position. God's first accusation against Adam was that he "had hearkened to his wife". Adam was a head, and he also had a Head - God. So sometimes something needs to be said or done. The captain of the ship might have a rebellious and/or panic-stricken crew. He may feel helpless. But he may not give away his lawful position. In this case, whatever time the situation gives you, use it to ASK the Lord. The Lord has promised TWO types of answer;
- A still small voice (1st Ki.19:12; Isa.30:21; Zech.4:6)
- Inward peace (Phil.4:7)
In ending, I would like to warn you that this matter of turning to the spirit is not learned in a day. I've been learning this for 38 years, and I don't nearly always get it right. It must be a conscious way of life - and the flesh is ever-present to foil me. I do not say that we should not follow Christ's New Testament way in favor of ONLY listening to the Spirit in our spirit. God will never contradict His written Word. But like Paul, when he was forbidden by the Spirit to go to Asia and Bithynia, God has specific instructions for nearly every event. He does not write ten volumes on marriage. He DWELLS IN YOU as the ever present Head - and it is your job to get to know His voice - however "still and small" it is. It is also not a formula for success. Sometimes you can do everything right, but the other party has a free will too. Some situations are doomed to failure, even when you did everything right. Jesus did fully the will of His Father, and His ministry to Israel still did not help them. A marriage partner who is bent on rebellion, or abuse of their power, will end up in the ditch anyway, no matter how much you turned to your spirit.
We are justified After we believe the Gospel . This is trusting in Christ s death ,burial and resurrection..Abraham was not justifed over and over. Once only . Through obeying the one command to offer issac ,he was accredited righteousness and was justified. Likewise we obey the Gospel from the heart ,Once .
then we are Justified and guaranteed future Glorification.
Repost:
Other than his personal relationship with the Lord, there is nothing more important than a proper helpmate for a man. In fact, he can never really know all that the helpmate can be until he fully knows the Lord as he should.
When the Lord said “helpmate,” He meant exactly that. A woman has intuition that a man just doesn’t have. She has greater sensitivity to things than the man has and, thereby, is able to discern, I think, to a greater extent.
In view of this, the Holy Spirit through Paul said, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord” (Eph. 5:22).
This means that the husband is to act and conduct himself as the Lord; con- sequently, it would not be hard for any woman to submit herself to a man of that particular character and kindness.
He then said, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it” (Eph. 5:25). Christ loved the church enough to die for it. The husband is to love his wife accordingly.
An Ideal Marriage
One of the great problems in marriage, and perhaps the greatest problem, is for the husband or wife, or both, to demand of their partner what only Christ can provide. I am persuaded that this is the cause of most marriage problems, even with Christians.
The human being can only be properly satisfied and fulfilled in Christ, but if the husband tries to make the wife meet this spiritual need or vice versa, there will be burnout. Regrettably, that is the problem with many, if not most.
Addressing Christians: One cannot really know Christ fully unless one knows and understands the Cross.
Otherwise, he is serving and trusting “another Jesus” (II Cor. 11:4), which means that Christ cannot truly and properly be to that person what He wants to be because his faith is misplaced.
Let’s say it in a stronger way: No believer can know Christ exactly as he should unless he knows Him in relationship to the Cross. Only there can he find more abundant life (Jn. 10:10).
In truth, every single Christian in the world has more abundant life. One cannot be saved without having this particular life; however, most Christians never enjoy this life because they do not understand the Cross (Col. 2:14–15). Then, not really enjoying this life because they don’t understand the Cross, they look to their mates to meet the needs in their hearts, which no human being can possibly do.
JSM
Other than his personal relationship with the Lord, there is nothing more important than a proper helpmate for a man. In fact, he can never really know all that the helpmate can be until he fully knows the Lord as he should.
When the Lord said “helpmate,” He meant exactly that. A woman has intuition that a man just doesn’t have. She has greater sensitivity to things than the man has and, thereby, is able to discern, I think, to a greater extent.
In view of this, the Holy Spirit through Paul said, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord” (Eph. 5:22).
This means that the husband is to act and conduct himself as the Lord; con- sequently, it would not be hard for any woman to submit herself to a man of that particular character and kindness.
He then said, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it” (Eph. 5:25). Christ loved the church enough to die for it. The husband is to love his wife accordingly.
An Ideal Marriage
One of the great problems in marriage, and perhaps the greatest problem, is for the husband or wife, or both, to demand of their partner what only Christ can provide. I am persuaded that this is the cause of most marriage problems, even with Christians.
The human being can only be properly satisfied and fulfilled in Christ, but if the husband tries to make the wife meet this spiritual need or vice versa, there will be burnout. Regrettably, that is the problem with many, if not most.
Addressing Christians: One cannot really know Christ fully unless one knows and understands the Cross.
Otherwise, he is serving and trusting “another Jesus” (II Cor. 11:4), which means that Christ cannot truly and properly be to that person what He wants to be because his faith is misplaced.
Let’s say it in a stronger way: No believer can know Christ exactly as he should unless he knows Him in relationship to the Cross. Only there can he find more abundant life (Jn. 10:10).
In truth, every single Christian in the world has more abundant life. One cannot be saved without having this particular life; however, most Christians never enjoy this life because they do not understand the Cross (Col. 2:14–15). Then, not really enjoying this life because they don’t understand the Cross, they look to their mates to meet the needs in their hearts, which no human being can possibly do.
JSM
When you say christ alone . This shou
its worth mentioning also Eve was deceived first. As men we are to be discerning and protect our wives as women can be more susceptible to deception at times.
The same way with forgiveness . We realise that we have been Forgiven and are eternally secure therefore we should really forgive..The same here . We see Jesus giving his life for the Church and our motivation again comes from a place of our security and love for what Jesus has done and we likewise do to our wives. Give our very lives. Being transformed with a renewal of our minds can only happen from inside out . What we beiieve and hold true ,transforms us .
1-Corinthians
13:4
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
13:5
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
13:6
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
13:7
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
The love here not only mean marriage
13:4
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
13:5
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
13:6
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
13:7
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
The love here not only mean marriage
When looking at Love. I would offer what I would call the trinity . . describing the very essence of God and not his attributes or works. But the unseen powerhouse of His glorious might working in those who beleive as a anchor to their new born again soul .
(1) God is LIGHT(1 John 1:5 )
(2) God is SPIRIT .(John 4:24 )
(3) God is lOVE (1 John 4:8 )
In marriage a strand of three working as one is not easily broken. When two or three ,a family or nation are togethter under that Light, His Love is made manifest by the work of His Spirit. Softening our new hearts giving us His sabbath rest. .
(1) God is LIGHT(1 John 1:5 )
(2) God is SPIRIT .(John 4:24 )
(3) God is lOVE (1 John 4:8 )
In marriage a strand of three working as one is not easily broken. When two or three ,a family or nation are togethter under that Light, His Love is made manifest by the work of His Spirit. Softening our new hearts giving us His sabbath rest. .
Why do you insist on making up your own definitions for words instead of accepting the established definitions?