My wife

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Lion222

Lion222

Banned
#41
Jul 6, 2020
905
328
63
#41
Butterflyyy said:
Remember, Mr Surfer, that the Bible also explains how a husband is to lay his life down for his wife as Christ did for the Church.
Click to expand...
Yeah in submission to God and for the hope God set before him.
But Surfer is right about operating from a position of strength and authority i would add.
None of that depends on the woman in your life, but on your own submission to God.
If you are waiting on your woman you have it backwards, you are supposed to lead by following God.
We live that life of submission to Christ regardless, that is how you love others.
If your woman follows or not that is between her and God.
 
Butterflyyy

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
#42
Oct 31, 2019
1,626
1,319
113
#42
LoveJoy85 said:
Oh yes she does. Takes many kinds of meds too. She was doing fine or getting better until Covid hit. I was praying for her to relieve some from of ministering and load and behold my prayers were answered when a girl from her work reached out to do Bible study once a week,, but that immediately stopped. She is a nurse and she's having to work mandatory overtime and hates itThat's why I don't mind going the extra mile at home, but still would appreciate some level of gratitude or appreciation. I know this road is going to be tuff and I plan on sticking it out. I may have to get with my pastor and get some one on one Christian counseling so I myself don't stray.
Click to expand...
Ah okay, that explains a lot... depression and meds... just rest in the Lord bro, keep close to Him and keep loving her unconditionally with the love that He gives you; He will enable you; just keep going to Him and yes support from your Pastor is wise... remember we have an enemy roaming around, and the powers of darkness want Christian marriages to fail. God will give you all you need to endure; this is love... sounds like it’s gonna take some time... and prayer ... and a lot of selfless love like the Bible talks about, in Corinthians
tourist said:
Your wife is a nurse? If so, work is probably draining. Do your best to make her feel comfortable when she gets home from work.
Click to expand...
It must be a very difficult time to be a nurse right now...
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#44
Mar 13, 2014
42,665
17,120
113
69
Tennessee
#44
Butterflyyy said:
Ah okay, that explains a lot... depression and meds... just rest in the Lord bro, keep close to Him and keep loving her unconditionally with the love that He gives you; He will enable you; just keep going to Him and yes support from your Pastor is wise... remember we have an enemy roaming around, and the powers of darkness want Christian marriages to fail. God will give you all you need to endure; this is love... sounds like it’s gonna take some time... and prayer ... and a lot of selfless love like the Bible talks about, in Corinthians
It must be a very difficult time to be a nurse right now...
Click to expand...
Very much so.
 
Lion222

Lion222

Banned
#45
Jul 6, 2020
905
328
63
#45
LoveJoy85 said:
Oh yes she does. Takes many kinds of meds too. She was doing fine or getting better until Covid hit. I was praying for her to relieve some from of ministering and load and behold my prayers were answered when a girl from her work reached out to do Bible study once a week,, but that immediately stopped. She is a nurse and she's having to work mandatory overtime and hates itThat's why I don't mind going the extra mile at home, but still would appreciate some level of gratitude or appreciation. I know this road is going to be tuff and I plan on sticking it out. I may have to get with my pastor and get some one on one Christian counseling so I myself don't stray.
Click to expand...
you should have lead with this.
My daughter is also a nurse, PICU.
You can only watch so many kids suffer and die before your dealing with PTSD kind of situations.
I see my own daughter suffering, cant sleep, does nothing but work, Does not even respond to messages anymore says she sees them but just does not have it in her to respond. I have taken to sending here things they require no response, pictures of flowers as I walk down the street, things of life and encouragement.
Going to go send her one now.
https://www.usnews.com/news/healthi...ressing-ptsd-among-coronavirus-health-workers
 
K

Kim82

Guest
#46
#46
OK well, it seems that in the beginning your wife did what she could to be an ideal wife, but then all hell broke lose when you went against her wishes. Old wounds from the past resurfaced

But even if she is having issues with intimacy, what would have caused her to stop being on fire for God? I wonder what happened there that her views have changed so drastically? Was she even saved in the first place? And as if that's not enough, she's also trying to get you to change your views. Maybe your wife will not be happy with you again until she gets you to leave the church as well.

That's a fiery dart from Satan, so you need to put on the armor of God because your wife wants to bring you astray. And that must never happen. Amen.

If your wife isn't being intimate with you due to some issues that she is trying to overcome, what makes you think she is cheating? You seem unsympathetic to what she is going through. You spoke about feeling rejected, but you seem to doubt that she was abused in the past.

If she finds out about you installing a camera to spy on her, then things will be even worst. I'm not seeing how you came to the conclusion that she might be unfaithful.

Please don't do anything to make things worst.
 
Butterflyyy

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
#47
Oct 31, 2019
1,626
1,319
113
#47
I reckon folks will be praying for you on here now that you have explained more... it must be a tough time for any family who are involved in the medical profession... remember seasons change, and also that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him... as believers we weather a lot of storms of suffering; the Bible tells us not to be surprised that our walk is tough- it will have been so worth it when we get to glory...
Brother, I have suffered a lot with depression, it takes away desire to do anything, even to read the Bible or play my guitar and sing to God... I can lay there despondent literally for days, but God is faithful. I have not taken medication as I’m afraid of side effects so I just keep asking God to help me, He does but I know there have been times like now, where I would not have been any help unless I had experienced the depths of depression; and ironically there are times when I am thankful even for such horrible, difficult times; which is encouraging for me so God bless you for turning to other Christians on here and I hope you are able to get prayer support and good counsel from your church. The meds will be affecting your wife; you will both get through this with God I’m sure.
Strengthen yourself daily in the Word, it will be life and strength and guidance to you.
Ephesians 4:32-5:2
God bless you both
 
Butterflyyy

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
#48
Oct 31, 2019
1,626
1,319
113
#48
Kim82 said:
OK well, it seems that in the beginning your wife did what she could to be an ideal wife, but then all hell broke lose when you went against her wishes. Old wounds from the past resurfaced

But even if she is having issues with intimacy, what would have caused her to stop being on fire for God? I wonder what happened there that her views have changed so drastically? Was she even saved in the first place? And as if that's not enough, she's also trying to get you to change your views. Maybe your wife will not be happy with you again until she gets you to leave the church as well.

That's a fiery dart from Satan, so you need to put on the armor of God because your wife wants to bring you astray. And that must never happen. Amen.

If your wife isn't being intimate with you due to some issues that she is trying to overcome, what makes you think she is cheating? You seem unsympathetic to what she is going through. You spoke about feeling rejected, but you seem to doubt that she was abused in the past.

If she finds out about you installing a camera to spy on her, then things will be even worst. I'm not seeing how you came to the conclusion that she might be unfaithful.

Please don't do anything to make things worst.
Click to expand...
Depression, medication, stress from work could all stop her being on fire for God.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#49
Mar 13, 2014
42,665
17,120
113
69
Tennessee
#49
Kim82 said:
OK well, it seems that in the beginning your wife did what she could to be an ideal wife, but then all hell broke lose when you went against her wishes. Old wounds from the past resurfaced

But even if she is having issues with intimacy, what would have caused her to stop being on fire for God? I wonder what happened there that her views have changed so drastically? Was she even saved in the first place? And as if that's not enough, she's also trying to get you to change your views. Maybe your wife will not be happy with you again until she gets you to leave the church as well.

That's a fiery dart from Satan, so you need to put on the armor of God because your wife wants to bring you astray. And that must never happen. Amen.

If your wife isn't being intimate with you due to some issues that she is trying to overcome, what makes you think she is cheating? You seem unsympathetic to what she is going through. You spoke about feeling rejected, but you seem to doubt that she was abused in the past.

If she finds out about you installing a camera to spy on her, then things will be even worst. I'm not seeing how you came to the conclusion that she might be unfaithful.

Please don't do anything to make things worst.
Click to expand...
I agree. That camera thing is not a good thing at all. She may have intimacy issues but he seems to have serious trust issues. The entire marriage is a mess. Gonna take a heavy dose of Jesus to right that ship.
 
L

Locoponydirtman

Guest
#50
#50
You are in a tough spot. You need some counseling as well.
 
H

Hungry

Banned
#51
Nov 26, 2012
3,095
1,050
113
#51
LoveJoy85 said:
Oh yes she does. Takes many kinds of meds too. She was doing fine or getting better until Covid hit. I was praying for her to relieve some from of ministering and load and behold my prayers were answered when a girl from her work reached out to do Bible study once a week,, but that immediately stopped. She is a nurse and she's having to work mandatory overtime and hates itThat's why I don't mind going the extra mile at home, but still would appreciate some level of gratitude or appreciation. I know this road is going to be tuff and I plan on sticking it out. I may have to get with my pastor and get some one on one Christian counseling so I myself don't stray.
Click to expand...
Has she been on meds and been depressed for awhile...like before you got married?
 
G

Gladness

New member
#52
Aug 16, 2020
6
1
3
#52
LoveJoy85 said:
So I've been married for just barely 3 years now. My wife in the beginning was on fire for God but has changed. She doesn't agree with most of the Bible, thinks abortions are a women's choice and tries to convince me that it's right I disagree, thinks that preaching the gospel is shoving it down peoples throat and so fourth. She completely stopped coming to church, but I still go. My wife had some sexual encounters in the past that were abusive so I'm told. In our first year of marriage the intimacy was pretty good until I decided to sneak one in without the use of a condom, got in some trouble because of that, but its been well over 2.5 years and I've never done any thing like that again and yet I feel she still has not forgiven me. Says she feels disconnected, even took one for the team by getting fixed. I use to make moves on her regularly but gave up because of the rejection. Its been 6 months since my wife and I been intement. She pulled me aside today and said its not you but because of my past I feel dirty and don't want to engage in intimacy. I asked if she wanted to go see a Christian counselor and she immediately said no because she feels that the counsilar we judge her according to the Bible based on God's plan for the husband and wife. Things are looking up for me, still actively at work, I'm more than half way completed my training at the volunteer fire department in my community, I'm helping more at church. I believe that marriage is for better or for worse. I told my wife I'm here and ill support her anyway she'll let me. Any advice would be appreciated as I don't know what to do at this point.
Click to expand...
Hello! Don't give up! You are already doing a lot . Remember that God will fight for you. He is creator of marriage and His will will be done. Trust in His timing. HE already doing work in your life! God bless you and keep you!
 
S

soggykitten

Well-known member
#53
Jul 3, 2020
2,322
1,369
113
#53
I would like some clarification on what you said here. In our first year of marriage the intimacy was pretty good until I decided to sneak one in without the use of a condom, got in some trouble because of that

What does that mean? You had an affair and didn't use protection? Or what?
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#56
Mar 13, 2014
42,665
17,120
113
69
Tennessee
#56
soggykitten said:
I would like some clarification on what you said here. In our first year of marriage the intimacy was pretty good until I decided to sneak one in without the use of a condom, got in some trouble because of that

What does that mean? You had an affair and didn't use protection? Or what?
Click to expand...
That part of the post was most troubling for me too.
 
P

Papou

Guest
#57
#57
LoveJoy85 said:
...Its been 6 months since my wife and I been intement. She pulled me aside today and said its not you but because of my past I feel dirty and don't want to engage in intimacy..
Click to expand...
Her answer is pretty clear: It is not you ! Respect her and when the time comes, she will let you know. About fire for God, nobody goes to God unless our heavenly Father call them ! Don't fight the will of the Almighty One.

It is very low to put a camera to watch her !!! What is next, search her cell, hire a private to follow her whenever she goes ! Are you going to prevent her to see her friends and then lock her in the house . You are on a wrong path ! Hopefully God will change you heart before it is too late ...
 
surfer14

surfer14

Banned
#58
Jul 9, 2020
846
492
63
#58
soggykitten said:
Likely a single troll at that, judging by their remarks about women.
Click to expand...
Nope. Not single. Got a great marriage with an outstanding woman.

Non-feminist woman = Gift from God.
Feminist woman = Worthless scum.

If you're not a feminist then there's no reason to take offense. If you're offended, maybe it's because you're a feminist?
 
S

soggykitten

Well-known member
#59
Jul 3, 2020
2,322
1,369
113
#59
surfer14 said:
Nope. Not single. Got a great marriage with an outstanding woman.

Non-feminist woman = Gift from God.
Feminist woman = Worthless scum.

If you're not a feminist then there's no reason to take offense. If you're offended, maybe it's because you're a feminist?
Click to expand...
Yep. Troll.
 
S

soggykitten

Well-known member
#60
Jul 3, 2020
2,322
1,369
113
#60
Butterflyyy said:
Remember, Mr Surfer, that the Bible also explains how a husband is to lay his life down for his wife as Christ did for the Church.
Click to expand...
I wouldn't take Mr.Surfer (of the web?) seriously. Hate is not a Christian value.
He hates feminists and refers to those women as, worthless scum. And claims he's happily married. Someone who classifies any group of women as worthless scum does not know the peace of Christ.

Ah, but Feminists are worthy of his attention and hatred. Draining. Very, very, draining.
“I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that distinguish me from a doormat.” Rebecca West
 
You must log in or register to reply here.