Well, friends, sadly, I must report that Old Dan has been BANNED from Walmart!
I know, I was surprised to find this out too............but, after reviewing the reasons that caused the Management of his local Walmart to take this drastic action.............well, I KINDA understand. "What did he do?"
This past July 2nd, he set ALL the Alarm Clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
On August 4th, he went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on lawayay.
On the 14th of August, he moved a Wet Floor sign to a carpeted area of the Store.
On the 23rd, when a Clerk asked if they could help him, be began crying and screaming "Why can't you people just leave me alone."
They were so concerned for him that EMT's were called.
On September 4th, he looked directly into one of the Security Cameras and used it as a mirror to pick his nose.
On September 10th, while looking at the guns in the Sports Department, he asked the Clerk assisting him where the antidepressants were.......
On October 6th, he was in the Auto Department practicing his "Madonna" look using different size funnels.
On the 16 of October, he hid in a Clothing Rack in the Women's Wear Department, and when women were browsing through, he yelled "PICK ME."
October 22nd, when an announcement came over the loud speakers, he assumed a fetal position on the floor and screamed "OH NO, IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN."
Alas, the final straw was when on October 23rd, he went into a Fitting Room, shut the door, waited some time, then yelled very loudly......."HEY, THERE'S NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE." The clerk on duty passed out from shock.
Given his serious offenses, is it NO WONDER Walmart BANNED Old Dan?
I know, I was surprised to find this out too............but, after reviewing the reasons that caused the Management of his local Walmart to take this drastic action.............well, I KINDA understand. "What did he do?"
This past July 2nd, he set ALL the Alarm Clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
On August 4th, he went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on lawayay.
On the 14th of August, he moved a Wet Floor sign to a carpeted area of the Store.
On the 23rd, when a Clerk asked if they could help him, be began crying and screaming "Why can't you people just leave me alone."
They were so concerned for him that EMT's were called.
On September 4th, he looked directly into one of the Security Cameras and used it as a mirror to pick his nose.
On September 10th, while looking at the guns in the Sports Department, he asked the Clerk assisting him where the antidepressants were.......
On October 6th, he was in the Auto Department practicing his "Madonna" look using different size funnels.
On the 16 of October, he hid in a Clothing Rack in the Women's Wear Department, and when women were browsing through, he yelled "PICK ME."
October 22nd, when an announcement came over the loud speakers, he assumed a fetal position on the floor and screamed "OH NO, IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN."
Alas, the final straw was when on October 23rd, he went into a Fitting Room, shut the door, waited some time, then yelled very loudly......."HEY, THERE'S NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE." The clerk on duty passed out from shock.
Given his serious offenses, is it NO WONDER Walmart BANNED Old Dan?
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