Need some encouragement today

[Scribe]

Wait it out till the end. You are still married so do not compromise your integrity and obedience to Christ. Even if this is not reconciled you don't want to be guilty of even entertaining the idea of a relationship with someone else until you are divorced. Do the right thing.
And do not reach for a bottle to numb the pain. It is a lie. It will only magnify the pain and bring destruction into every area of your life. Get involved in church and support groups and prayer meetings and just be around sold out christians every day that you can. Do not isolate yourself. I have never signed up for a dating site because the idea is revolting to me, so I have no experience with them but all I hear are bad stories of sin. If this does not work out as you want it to and down the road the Lord gives you peace about meeting someone else meet them in church where you can both be involved in serving Christ together as friends first.

To encourage you I would say to prepare for a time of total focus on Jesus and the Word for at least a year and be strong in the Lord and satisfied with pleasing Him without distraction. Don't allow yourself to think that you MUST have companionship to be happy. Wait on the Lord and be at peace. Give yourself at least a year of not thinking about relationships. Your emotions are going to go through some rough patches but God is able to heal and strengthen without you having to turn into a country song of destruction first.

 

[Beth220]

you are a very great 'whiner/blamer', and for sure should not be 'out there' pretending to be able
to 'help others'...
try speaking to yourself and seeing yourself through your own eyes, for obviously you are not at this time
able to see 'yourself' through any one elses, much less through Yeshua's...
you are as sick as is your wife is, your own words have said as much...

please, try and find a 'real solution/reason for your 'own' actions...

With all your respect, i don't think you are helping the situation, we are supposed to be here to encourage and uplift each other, as well as rebuke in love. This is not how Jesus would handle the situation, I do believe this man needs help and is trying his best and is obviously a new Christian, he is not mature in The Lord and need our God loving sincere advice, I don't believe this is the time for ungodly rebuke but for loving advice...

 

[bluewriter]

I believe you really love your wife and are sincere of your repentance, and wanting to make things right, but I believe you need to take a li8mote time asking God to guide you on how you should go, you need to give God time to work in her heart and prepare her to accept to talk to you, if you do all this right now she might think you are trying to buy her. I say wait a couple of days and pray for Hod to show you what you need to say. Everything you are planning on doing is good after she decides to talk to you. Pour out your heart to her and let her know that you are a new person in Christ Jesus, and introduce her to your new friend. Before you and her can be in love with each other again, you first need to fall on love with Jesus, and only then you will have a healthy and blessed marriage cause He will be the center of your marriage, and your marriage cant go wrong....will keep on praying brother. God bless you...

Thank you for your prayers and support. It'll be 110 days before I finally see her. She filed for divorce and our court date is 8/18. I must speak to her to try to win her over before then. I have had a strong relationship with the Lord Jesus for almost 20 years now. The difficulties we faced in our marriage with our blended family dynamic and her autistic/developmentally disabled son and our different work schedules were overwhelming at times. It caused a lot of stress and arguments.

I wish I could wait longer, but time is of the essence.

 

[Beth220]

Wait it out till the end. You are still married so do not compromise your integrity and obedience to Christ. Even if this is not reconciled you don't want to be guilty of even entertaining the idea of a relationship with someone else until you are divorced. Do the right thing.
And do not reach for a bottle to numb the pain. It is a lie. It will only magnify the pain and bring destruction into every area of your life. Get involved in church and support groups and prayer meetings and just be around sold out christians every day that you can. Do not isolate yourself. I have never signed up for a dating site because the idea is revolting to me, so I have no experience with them but all I hear are bad stories of sin. If this does not work out as you want it to and down the road the Lord gives you peace about meeting someone else meet them in church where you can both be involved in serving Christ together as friends first.

To encourage you I would say to prepare for a time of total focus on Jesus and the Word for at least a year and be strong in the Lord and satisfied with pleasing Him without distraction. Don't allow yourself to think that you MUST have companionship to be happy. Wait on the Lord and be at peace. Give yourself at least a year of not thinking about relationships. Your emotions are going to go through some rough patches but God is able to heal and strengthen without you having to turn into a country song of destruction first.

Amen! That has been the best advice he can get. God bless you my brother. May The Lord continue using you for His honor and glory...

 

[Beth220]

Thank you for your prayers and support. It'll be 110 days before I finally see her. She filed for divorce and our court date is 8/18. I must speak to her to try to win her over before then. I have had a strong relationship with the Lord Jesus for almost 20 years now. The difficulties we faced in our marriage with our blended family dynamic and her autistic/developmentally disabled son and our different work schedules were overwhelming at times. It caused a lot of stress and arguments.

I wish I could wait longer, but time is of the essence.

All things are possible with God! There is power in prayer and He always answers as long as is according to His will. And keeping marriages together and restoring them is His will....everything that is broken will be mended if you stay focused on Him...

 

[bluewriter]

Wait it out till the end. You are still married so do not compromise your integrity and obedience to Christ. Even if this is not reconciled you don't want to be guilty of even entertaining the idea of a relationship with someone else until you are divorced. Do the right thing.
And do not reach for a bottle to numb the pain. It is a lie. It will only magnify the pain and bring destruction into every area of your life. Get involved in church and support groups and prayer meetings and just be around sold out christians every day that you can. Do not isolate yourself. I have never signed up for a dating site because the idea is revolting to me, so I have no experience with them but all I hear are bad stories of sin. If this does not work out as you want it to and down the road the Lord gives you peace about meeting someone else meet them in church where you can both be involved in serving Christ together as friends first.

To encourage you I would say to prepare for a time of total focus on Jesus and the Word for at least a year and be strong in the Lord and satisfied with pleasing Him without distraction. Don't allow yourself to think that you MUST have companionship to be happy. Wait on the Lord and be at peace. Give yourself at least a year of not thinking about relationships. Your emotions are going to go through some rough patches but God is able to heal and strengthen without you having to turn into a country song of destruction first.

This is pretty solid advice, so I don't want to take that away from you. I would like to say, however, that I met my first wife at a Bible study. She was a Spiritual Life advisor at a children's home and I was a youth care worker at a different children's home. We strove to honor Christ. She got unhappy with the marriage and instead of working things out, she left me for another man while we were still married and took our 1.5 year old daughter with her. She became a Chaplain at the local hospital while I worked hauling biomedical waste. I was destroyed for years and spent five years as a single dad struggling horribly.

I met my second wife at church. We served God together in the youth program. I became a stepdad to two of her teenage boys that both had severe behavior/attitude problems and she most likely has mental health issues. My daughter would come and stay with us 6-14 days a month depending on the month and schedules and stuff.

I cannot live with the thought of having my second family destroyed and being a single dad again. I must fight for this with everything that is within me. I must believe that God wants to glorify Himself by saving my marriage and giving me that testimony. I don't want to be a "stronger" Christian by having more of my soul and heart destroyed. No thanks.

 

[bluewriter]

you are a very great 'whiner/blamer', and for sure should not be 'out there' pretending to be able
to 'help others'...
try speaking to yourself and seeing yourself through your own eyes, for obviously you are not at this time
able to see 'yourself' through any one elses, much less through Yeshua's...
you are as sick as is your wife is, your own words have said as much...

please, try and find a 'real solution/reason for your 'own' actions...

You sound like a hateful, judgmental person who likes to kick people when they're down. I've spent years ministering to some of the most depressed, suicidal, homicidal, and mentally ill people in southern Illinois in the course of doing my job. I never spoke to them like that.

I admit that I had failures in how I reacted to things in my marriage. I'm trying to make them right and to do right. I went to therapy and got spiritual counseling. Do I need to go into how abusive my wife was to justify my "own actions"? I don't think it's necessary. Have you ever cared for a disabled child? What do you know about sticking your hand into the washing machine and pulling out a handful of human feces and finding out he's been using the towels as toilet paper? What do you know about a kid who masturbates and uses the restroom and then refuses to wash his hands before sticking them into everyone's dinner? What do you know about a 220 lb 14 year old having a temper tantrum meltdown when asked to do simple things and it causes you to be late to everything you plan to do? These are just the tip of the iceberg of daily life for me with my stepson - whom I love dearly. But when you're not on the same page with your spouse in how to deal with these things, it's difficult to navigate life and is the root of a thousand arguments. No one remembers the thousand times I gently and calmly redirected my stepson through a thousand meltdowns, threats of assault, and belligerence. No they only remember the 1 in 50 times I blew up and lost my temper after working 10 days straight and not sleeping and having my dinner eaten and no one respecting me and I yelled at them.

 

[Scribe]

This is pretty solid advice, so I don't want to take that away from you. I would like to say, however, that I met my first wife at a Bible study. She was a Spiritual Life advisor at a children's home and I was a youth care worker at a different children's home. We strove to honor Christ. She got unhappy with the marriage and instead of working things out, she left me for another man while we were still married and took our 1.5 year old daughter with her. She became a Chaplain at the local hospital while I worked hauling biomedical waste. I was destroyed for years and spent five years as a single dad struggling horribly.

I met my second wife at church. We served God together in the youth program. I became a stepdad to two of her teenage boys that both had severe behavior/attitude problems and she most likely has mental health issues. My daughter would come and stay with us 6-14 days a month depending on the month and schedules and stuff.

I cannot live with the thought of having my second family destroyed and being a single dad again. I must fight for this with everything that is within me. I must believe that God wants to glorify Himself by saving my marriage and giving me that testimony. I don't want to be a "stronger" Christian by having more of my soul and heart destroyed. No thanks.

Well first of all no matter what happens you have to live with it. There is no alternative. And of course you should pray and trust God for the marriage to be saved. That is great. However, you also want to show a level of confidence to your wife that you are emotionally stable and not a total drama king if you know what I mean. Don't let your fear of losing her eat you up so that you are constantly planing how you are going to say just the right thing and fix it all. If you can't see her do not violate the orders thinking that you are on a mission from God. Like I said, your emotions are going to drive you to try to do things to fix it and you can end up making it worse, and making her less confident instead of more confident that you have changed. Pray, trust God. Comply with the orders. Don't try to hard when you see her. Be cool. Be controlled. Be Strong. Women like that. And if you want to buy her something buy her the best phone on the market instead of all that other stuff. Maybe the kind of case she would like to go with it.

 

[Scribe]

you are a very great 'whiner/blamer', and for sure should not be 'out there' pretending to be able
to 'help others'...
try speaking to yourself and seeing yourself through your own eyes, for obviously you are not at this time
able to see 'yourself' through any one elses, much less through Yeshua's...
you are as sick as is your wife is, your own words have said as much...

please, try and find a 'real solution/reason for your 'own' actions...

not cool dude

 

[oldethennew]

REALLY, who could make this stuff' up except holly-wood demons???
and those who could show any kind of empathy for them???
may God have mercy...

 

[oldethennew]

you are a very great 'whiner/blamer', and for sure should not be 'out there' pretending to be able
to 'help others'...
try speaking to yourself and seeing yourself through your own eyes, for obviously you are not at this time
able to see 'yourself' through any one elses, much less through Yeshua's...
you are as sick as is your wife is, your own words have said as much...

please, try and find a 'real solution/reason for your 'own' actions...

=============================================
obviously 'scribe/blue' can 'relate'...= same spirit...

 

[bluewriter]

Well first of all no matter what happens you have to live with it. There is no alternative. And of course you should pray and trust God for the marriage to be saved. That is great. However, you also want to show a level of confidence to your wife that you are emotionally stable and not a total drama king if you know what I mean. Don't let your fear of losing her eat you up so that you are constantly planing how you are going to say just the right thing and fix it all. If you can't see her do not violate the orders thinking that you are on a mission from God. Like I said, your emotions are going to drive you to try to do things to fix it and you can end up making it worse, and making her less confident instead of more confident that you have changed. Pray, trust God. Comply with the orders. Don't try to hard when you see her. Be cool. Be controlled. Be Strong. Women like that. And if you want to buy her something buy her the best phone on the market instead of all that other stuff. Maybe the kind of case she would like to go with it.

I'm waiting for the order of protection to expire on 8/5, but like I said in the other post, we have a divorce court date set for 8/18. Time is of the essence. I plan on being as cool as I can be, but it is pretty exciting to see her after 110 days of silence. I personally believe she has worked to bury her feelings for me under a facade of anger and hate. (I only say this because I know my wife - she's a different kind.) I think seeing me face to face and speaking to me will move her heart. I wish I had the right answer in how to communicate with her in another way, but part of me thinks if I show up at work and offer these gifts, it will allow her to save face in front of her coworkers if she decides to work things out with me. That way the evidence that I've changed and I'm trying is there for all to witness. Maybe I'm wrong?

 

[Scribe]

I'm waiting for the order of protection to expire on 8/5, but like I said in the other post, we have a divorce court date set for 8/18. Time is of the essence. I plan on being as cool as I can be, but it is pretty exciting to see her after 110 days of silence. I personally believe she has worked to bury her feelings for me under a facade of anger and hate. (I only say this because I know my wife - she's a different kind.) I think seeing me face to face and speaking to me will move her heart. I wish I had the right answer in how to communicate with her in another way, but part of me thinks if I show up at work and offer these gifts, it will allow her to save face in front of her coworkers if she decides to work things out with me. That way the evidence that I've changed and I'm trying is there for all to witness. Maybe I'm wrong?

You might send her flowers for doing something in front of coworkers but showing up with gifts is a probably not a good idea. If she does not grant you an audience by permission you cannot buy that permission by showing up with gifts. When you are allowed to contact her tell her that you bought her a new phone and what kind it is and that you want to give it to her at lunch at a restaurant she can meet you at and one that she likes near her work. The phone might be enough to win her over and the lunch time frame gives her an out if she feels uncomfortable with the way the meeting is going. She is probably not looking forward to having to listen to your emotional appeals. You have to make it easy for her to feel like it is not going to be an emotional drain on her.

(And just ignore the trolls in this thread on CC that don't know how to act. There is always going to be a few. )

 

[oldethennew]

obviously you only need ask 'scribe', he's a self proclaimed 'preacher/teacher', look to him for your 'healing'
for he has told us all that he has all of the answers to life's problems, a true self-proclaimed-scribe...

 

[bluewriter]

You might send her flowers for doing something in front of coworkers but showing up with gifts is a probably not a good idea. If she does not grant you an audience by permission you cannot buy that permission by showing up with gifts. When you are allowed to contact her tell her that you bought her a new phone and what kind it is and that you want to give it to her at lunch at a restaurant she can meet you at and one that she likes near her work. The phone might be enough to win her over and the lunch time frame gives her an out if she feels uncomfortable with the way the meeting is going. She is probably not looking forward to having to listen to your emotional appeals. You have to make it easy for her to feel like it is not going to be an emotional drain on her.

(And just ignore the trolls in this thread on CC that don't know how to act. There is always going to be a few. )

I noticed he was a troll.

I didn't break her phone when I threw it. The one she has now is a pretty decent one that I bought with the protective case and shatter resistant glass stuff.

I honestly don't think she'll meet me for anything. She has been very steadfast in avoiding me. A large part of me believes she is just doing this because she is ashamed of how she threw me under the bus. My idea is that the flowers and gifts give me the opportunity to show her the abundance of grace I have towards her. I'm not going to go into all the details here because everyone would tell me to move forward with the divorce, but she basically destroyed my life. I think she overreacted and when the full effect of her actions hit me, she had to be hateful and distant to run from her feelings for me and to justify her actions. It was really bad.

I could be wrong and she could just be the hateful, vindictive psychopath it seems she is from all appearances. My family hates her for what she did to me. I'm staying with my mom and she has been very angry with what my wife did to me. But I love my wife dearly and I'm a forgiving person. I love my stepsons too. I've asked countless people to pray that God would soften her heart and that His Holy Spirit would speak to her about reconciling with me.

I've been emotionally unstable for most of this just due to the despair, but when I finally see her, I do not plan on making emotional appeals. My letter to her is emotional, but not weak. I'm not going to beg or freak out on her. I'm trusting in God's power to save my marriage. I've put all my faith in Him and surrendered this battle to Him. I feel He put the idea for the gifts into my head, but He did not lead me to how I should give them to her, so as the day draws near, I'm hoping it will be clear what I need to do. I have never pursued or prayed for anything in my life as much as I have in asking God to restore my marriage. It is His will to restore our marriage, I have no doubt. That's why I pray that God would speak to her to be obedient to His will.

 

[Scribe]

I noticed he was a troll.

I didn't break her phone when I threw it. The one she has now is a pretty decent one that I bought with the protective case and shatter resistant glass stuff.

I honestly don't think she'll meet me for anything. She has been very steadfast in avoiding me. A large part of me believes she is just doing this because she is ashamed of how she threw me under the bus. My idea is that the flowers and gifts give me the opportunity to show her the abundance of grace I have towards her. I'm not going to go into all the details here because everyone would tell me to move forward with the divorce, but she basically destroyed my life. I think she overreacted and when the full effect of her actions hit me, she had to be hateful and distant to run from her feelings for me and to justify her actions. It was really bad.

I could be wrong and she could just be the hateful, vindictive psychopath it seems she is from all appearances. My family hates her for what she did to me. I'm staying with my mom and she has been very angry with what my wife did to me. But I love my wife dearly and I'm a forgiving person. I love my stepsons too. I've asked countless people to pray that God would soften her heart and that His Holy Spirit would speak to her about reconciling with me.

I've been emotionally unstable for most of this just due to the despair, but when I finally see her, I do not plan on making emotional appeals. My letter to her is emotional, but not weak. I'm not going to beg or freak out on her. I'm trusting in God's power to save my marriage. I've put all my faith in Him and surrendered this battle to Him. I feel He put the idea for the gifts into my head, but He did not lead me to how I should give them to her, so as the day draws near, I'm hoping it will be clear what I need to do. I have never pursued or prayed for anything in my life as much as I have in asking God to restore my marriage. It is His will to restore our marriage, I have no doubt. That's why I pray that God would speak to her to be obedient to His will.

I understand the pain. You can get familiar with a toxic relationship and yet it is still a very unhealthy life to endure it. You walk around shell shocked all the time from the hurts you endure from every fresh drama queen episode. It can cause such high levels of stress you think "this cannot be healthy" But you have been at it so long you would rather cope with it than end the relationship.

Unless she gets counseling it won't change. Usually it gets worse. If it is borderline personality or bi-polar it may never go away but it can at least be recognized and controlled somewhat. I don't mean to sound unspiritual about it but I have been around it and involved in it for decades and I have learned that it is better to be realistic about it if you really want to stay in the marriage where there is mental illness. Not everything is a demon. Sometimes it is hormonal but sometimes it is unknown. Sometimes medication works, sometimes it doesn't. Recognizing that there is a problem and seeking medical advice, as well as spiritual counseling is the first step in the right direction. Unfortunately most women with these types of issues will refuse to be diagnosed and resent every effort you suggest that they might be helped by it. They usually will not even read a book about it. The fear of being called or looked at as "crazy" makes them hostile to the idea of diagnosis. The Hysterical or Histrionic Personality disorder is driven by an intense sensitivity of how they are viewed by others. Their image to strangers and work acquaintances is more important to them than life itself. I know there are exceptions but you should not take it personally or get angry if she does not want to seek help. If she doesn't then you have to realistically expect that it to stay the same or get worse. Hysterical personalities do not just change without intensive counseling over time. So maybe you could get some books on how to deal with difficult people in a marriage, like bi-polar, border line, hysteric, or "drama queens" in layman's terms. These books will help you see what exactly you are dealing with and how to solve these complicated issues that are very common and not reading these kinds of books contributes to the 50% divorce rate. Maybe she will read one of these books in private when she is not yet ready to see a doctor. Your situation is complex and I would strongly suggest you get some strong marriage counselors to come along side you and help you navigate these stormy seas you are about to go through. I will pray for you. Pray hard everyday and don't give up on your marriage. Don't even sign the divorce papers. She can get it anyway but you will feel much better knowing that you did not agree in principle or on paper. A clear conscience is priceless.

 

[bluewriter]

I understand the pain. You can get familiar with a toxic relationship and yet it is still a very unhealthy life to endure it. You walk around shell shocked all the time from the hurts you endure from every fresh drama queen episode. It can cause such high levels of stress you think "this cannot be healthy" But you have been at it so long you would rather cope with it than end the relationship.

Unless she gets counseling it won't change. Usually it gets worse. If it is borderline personality or bi-polar it may never go away but it can at least be recognized and controlled somewhat. I don't mean to sound unspiritual about it but I have been around it and involved in it for decades and I have learned that it is better to be realistic about it if you really want to stay in the marriage where there is mental illness. Not everything is a demon. Sometimes it is hormonal but sometimes it is unknown. Sometimes medication works, sometimes it doesn't. Recognizing that there is a problem and seeking medical advice, as well as spiritual counseling is the first step in the right direction. Unfortunately most women with these types of issues will refuse to be diagnosed and resent every effort you suggest that they might be helped by it. They usually will not even read a book about it. The fear of being called or looked at as "crazy" makes them hostile to the idea of diagnosis. The Hysterical or Histrionic Personality disorder is driven by an intense sensitivity of how they are viewed by others. Their image to strangers and work acquaintances is more important to them than life itself. I know there are exceptions but you should not take it personally or get angry if she does not want to seek help. If she doesn't then you have to realistically expect that it to stay the same or get worse. Hysterical personalities do not just change without intensive counseling over time. So maybe you could get some books on how to deal with difficult people in a marriage, like bi-polar, border line, hysteric, or "drama queens" in layman's terms. These books will help you see what exactly you are dealing with and how to solve these complicated issues that are very common and not reading these kinds of books contributes to the 50% divorce rate. Maybe she will read one of these books in private when she is not yet ready to see a doctor. Your situation is complex and I would strongly suggest you get some strong marriage counselors to come along side you and help you navigate these stormy seas you are about to go through. I will pray for you. Pray hard everyday and don't give up on your marriage. Don't even sign the divorce papers. She can get it anyway but you will feel much better knowing that you did not agree in principle or on paper. A clear conscience is priceless.

Thank you brother for your wisdom. God bless you. I'm with you on everything you said. I was convinced for the longest time she had paranoid personality disorder, but I think it may be borderline personality disorder with paranoia.

I have been fighting and praying everyday. I know my marriage is more important to God than it is even to me, so I fought for it like it was. Unfortunately, if she pushes the issue, I will have to sign some type of divorce agreement because the house mortgage is in my name and if the judge gives her possession of the home, she will ruin my credit, I'll be homeless, and I'll owe tens of thousands to the bank. So, as much as I am a man of obedience and principle in following Christ, being forced into that type of financial siutation will ruin my daughter's life as well and I cannot do that.

It has been a toxic marriage and much of the blame is hers, but I have to try to go above and beyond what I was doing to see if it will make the difference and to be obedient to God. I was not always mindful of how much and how deeply I loved her until we were separated. She means more to me than I ever thought possible.

 

[Scribe]

Thank you brother for your wisdom. God bless you. I'm with you on everything you said. I was convinced for the longest time she had paranoid personality disorder, but I think it may be borderline personality disorder with paranoia.

I have been fighting and praying everyday. I know my marriage is more important to God than it is even to me, so I fought for it like it was. Unfortunately, if she pushes the issue, I will have to sign some type of divorce agreement because the house mortgage is in my name and if the judge gives her possession of the home, she will ruin my credit, I'll be homeless, and I'll owe tens of thousands to the bank. So, as much as I am a man of obedience and principle in following Christ, being forced into that type of financial siutation will ruin my daughter's life as well and I cannot do that.

It has been a toxic marriage and much of the blame is hers, but I have to try to go above and beyond what I was doing to see if it will make the difference and to be obedient to God. I was not always mindful of how much and how deeply I loved her until we were separated. She means more to me than I ever thought possible.

Yes you can sign an agreement to the division of assets as stipulated in the agreement. That is just keeping things civil as we are called to do in the word. Be at peace with all men.

 

[pottersclay]

My wife left me 92 days ago and hasn't spoken to me since. I've went through a huge amount of trials including her getting an order of protection against me for throwing her phone during an argument (literally all I did - I've never hit or hurt her or her kids.) I cannot speak to her for another 18 days and she refuses to speak to me. She filed for divorce on July 1st.

I have been a faithful husband this entire time. I believe the Lord God has a higher view of marriage than most people and I intend to honor that view of marriage. As far as I know, there has been no affair and therefore no Biblical allowance for divorce. I have made the changes I needed and got some therapy and spiritual guidance about the anger issues that arose out of our circumstances. I'm praying and have asked countless others to pray for me that God would heal and restore our marriage.

Today, I need encouraged to keep going the distance. I'm toying with the idea of talking to women on dating sites because I'm lonely. God is telling my heart not to do it, because it's wrong. I'm still married and putting my faith in Him. But today is very difficult.

If you want to pray for me, pray for the restoration of my marriage and that God would soften my wife's heart and speak to her heart to reconcile with me because that is His will according to His Word. If you want to encourage me to keep doing the right thing, I'll listen to anything you have to say.

Of course I'll pray for you let the Lords work be done.

Hey saint you might want to try this...when you are tempted to go astray or get angry pray for others in the same predicament. Your not alone in these matters.
If the tempter is trying to take you down but the only results he can muster is you praying for others well let's just say that may be short lived. (Make sense).
The harder he tries the harder you pray. In fact it may even put a little smile on your face as in your minds eye you can see the devil getting frustrated.
Fight the good fight brother.

Potter.

 

[Butterflyyy]

I'm not sure if anyone will read this, but I want to say my game plan and ask what y'all think. So, in our time apart, I missed our wedding anniversary, Mother's Day, my disabled stepson's 8th grade graduation, and her birthday is the day before I can see her. My plan is to buy her a dozen of her favorite flowers with a card that says, "Happy Anniversary, Happy Mother's Day, and Happy Birthday". I plan to give her an anniversary gift of a handwritten "coupon" with a promise of vacation of three days and two nights at whatever ocean beach she would like to visit with hotel and food accommodations. A Mother's Day gift of a $40 Bath and Body Works gift card and a handwritten "coupon" for a 30 minute full body massage. A birthday gift of a $25 Starbucks gift card as well as a 365 page daily prayer book for women. A couple boxes of chocolates. My stepson's graduation card and $20 for him. And my handwritten note telling her that I've repented, sought therapy for my anger and resentments, acknowledgement that she was right that I needed help for my angry reactions, an appeal to our faith in Christ to give me a second chance, a promise that I will make whatever concessions are needed for everyone in our home to feel loved, respected, and listened to, and a timeline of 40 days to see that I've truly changed and that if she doesn't believe I have, I will agree to her divorce to make her happy. I plan to bring this to her work in a gift bag the day the order of protection expires and to ask her if she will attend church with me that night as husband and wife.

Does this sound like a solid plan?

No timeline bro, leave the process and timing to God or you will seem like you’re pressuring her.
Send more then $20 for the stepson way more, pray about all these things, pray for wisdom aswell, I personally think a 365 day prayer book isn’t wise as she may see it as you trying to correct her when you just need her to know that you are genuinely repentant. she may not be ready for church as husband and wife yet, let her respond if and when she is ready. You got to be led by the Lord in everything or you will not be able to lead her like He wants you to; lay it all down for her and leave the rest to Him; that is what she did for us He laid it all down.
Do not agree to divorce unless there is adultery. Play life by the Bibles rules alone do not lean on your own understanding. Listen to the Spirit, if you feel resistance about something then don’t do it/ send it even if it seems like a good idea to you👌
Hope I am helping you guys.
God bless X