Hard to admit loneliness?

[Beloved132]

I think it's a humbling thing to admit, as a "single" Christian woman who is never dating again, and only wants friendship, and as a woman who fancies herself very independent, and as a massive introvert on top of all of that....but heck, sometimes I feel lonely. Never alone, because Jesus is always with me. But sometimes, as much as I may want to deny it, just feel lonely. That is my truth today. Can anyone out there relate? (Or am I just a weirdo? Hahaha.)

 

[Ruby123]

I think it's a humbling thing to admit, as a "single" Christian woman who is never dating again, and only wants friendship, and as a woman who fancies herself very independent, and as a massive introvert on top of all of that....but heck, sometimes I feel lonely. Never alone, because Jesus is always with me. But sometimes, as much as I may want to deny it, just feel lonely. That is my truth today. Can anyone out there relate? (Or am I just a weirdo? Hahaha.)

Yes totally

 

[TheIndianGirl]

Agreed. Do you live alone? I think I feel lonely more because I live alone, and less because I'm single. Also the more my friends get married and have babies, the more I'm reminded I'm alone.

 

[Roughsoul1991]

I think it's a humbling thing to admit, as a "single" Christian woman who is never dating again, and only wants friendship, and as a woman who fancies herself very independent, and as a massive introvert on top of all of that....but heck, sometimes I feel lonely. Never alone, because Jesus is always with me. But sometimes, as much as I may want to deny it, just feel lonely. That is my truth today. Can anyone out there relate? (Or am I just a weirdo? Hahaha.)

Loneliness is a system of a need that isn't being met. Friendship, companionship and love ( love as in the biblical classifications of love. ) God said it wasn't good for man to be alone so he took a rib from Adam and made a woman. Either in marriage or friendships we wasn't designed to be alone but designed to operate at our best in the boundaries of relationships that God designed. Even at times when God feels distant we can feel alone and hopeless. The psalmist narrated this quite often.

Loneliness as the symptom can be fixed by finding what is out of God's design. Are you feeling alone and in need of another genders companionship? Are you needing friendship? Are you feeling distant from God? Deep down you know what you need. If it is friendship as you spoke of then in what ways can you solve that? Find a small church Bible study, find a hobby in town with other women or men, as a introvert you will need something that forces others in your presence and provides a lot of time until you feel comfortable to open up.

In reality though Christian chat had the women's forum where you always I'm positive find someone to talk to.

 

[Roughsoul1991]

Agreed. Do you live alone? I think I feel lonely more because I live alone, and less because I'm single. Also the more my friends get married and have babies, the more I'm reminded I'm alone.

I should show you a video of my 3 kids playing, fighting and tearing apart the living room. It is hard to remember what alone, quiet, and peaceful feels like lol.

 

[Beloved132]

Agreed. Do you live alone? I think I feel lonely more because I live alone, and less because I'm single. Also the more my friends get married and have babies, the more I'm reminded I'm alone.

I do live alone, which I love. Total introvert. I have bad anxiety, so maybe I spend too much time alone hahaha.

 

[Going_Nowhere]

Even though I am by myself most of the time, I feel like I'm one of those rare people that NEVER feels lonely. I don't know....maybe there's something wrong with me. Or maybe I just don't like people. Or maybe both.


I think this quote sums up how I feel about being alone.

 

[Beloved132]

Loneliness is a system of a need that isn't being met. Friendship, companionship and love ( love as in the biblical classifications of love. ) God said it wasn't good for man to be alone so he took a rib from Adam and made a woman. Either in marriage or friendships we wasn't designed to be alone but designed to operate at our best in the boundaries of relationships that God designed. Even at times when God feels distant we can feel alone and hopeless. The psalmist narrated this quite often.

Loneliness as the symptom can be fixed by finding what is out of God's design. Are you feeling alone and in need of another genders companionship? Are you needing friendship? Are you feeling distant from God? Deep down you know what you need. If it is friendship as you spoke of then in what ways can you solve that? Find a small church Bible study, find a hobby in town with other women or men, as a introvert you will need something that forces others in your presence and provides a lot of time until you feel comfortable to open up.

In reality though Christian chat had the women's forum where you always I'm positive find someone to talk to.

Thanks. I have amazing friends and family. But...no other gender companionship haha. My marriage was....traumatic. Left 3 years ago...haven't been on a single date. Pretty terrified of men....haha

 

[Beloved132]

Even though I am by myself most of the time, I feel like I'm one of those rare people that NEVER feels lonely. I don't know....maybe there's something wrong with me. Or maybe I just don't like people. Or maybe both.


I think this quote sums up how I feel about being alone.

I actually love being alone. But still once in a while wonder what the opposite would be like hahaha

 

[Roughsoul1991]

Thanks. I have amazing friends and family. But...no other gender companionship haha. My marriage was....traumatic. Left 3 years ago...haven't been on a single date. Pretty terrified of men....haha

I'm sorry to hear that. A man who acts out of God's design can cause great harm. It can take a long time to heal from. Are you talking to a therapist to help heal old wounds? Men can be scary when they act out of wickedness. History is filled with these acts committed by men.

More than 3 million incidents of domestic violence are reported each year, including both men and women. Nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. During one year, this equates to more than 10 million people. One-third of women and one-fourth of men will have experienced some sort of interpersonal violence, and for one-fourth of women and one-seventh of men, it's severe. (For more, visit NCADV.org.)

https://www.focusonthefamily.com/get-help/healing-the-emotionally-abusive-marriage/

Unfortunately as society runs from God, morality gets subjective and wickedness takes hold.

By no means am I saying all men are bad and now you have a better understanding to pre judge a relationship that can protect you from entering another abusive relationship. There are red flags in people that should start to show up, and once they do, it may be best to run.

 

[Beloved132]

I'm sorry to hear that. A man who acts out of God's design can cause great harm. It can take a long time to heal from. Are you talking to a therapist to help heal old wounds? Men can be scary when they act out of wickedness. History is filled with these acts committed by men.

More than 3 million incidents of domestic violence are reported each year, including both men and women. Nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. During one year, this equates to more than 10 million people. One-third of women and one-fourth of men will have experienced some sort of interpersonal violence, and for one-fourth of women and one-seventh of men, it's severe. (For more, visit NCADV.org.)

https://www.focusonthefamily.com/get-help/healing-the-emotionally-abusive-marriage/

Unfortunately as society runs from God, morality gets subjective and wickedness takes hold.

By no means am I saying all men are bad and now you have a better understanding to pre judge a relationship that can protect you from entering another abusive relationship. There are red flags in people that should start to show up, and once they do, it may be best to run.

I did just 3 sessions with a Christian counselor, but then couldn't afford to keep going. And yes, unfortunately for me, I chose to hardly date before ex. He was my first and only real relationship. So if I had had more experience dating, I may have seen some red flags. However, nothing could have warned me of who he would become.....nothing. But, I have forgiven him, I pray for him (We no longer speak, it's just unsafe and unhealthy for me.) But, the damage has been done. And I feel 100% like I could not be in a relationship...for many major reasons. It would take a man with the patience of Job...and honestly....I am not holding my breath for that person to exist hahaha.

 

[Roughsoul1991]

I did just 3 sessions with a Christian counselor, but then couldn't afford to keep going. And yes, unfortunately for me, I chose to hardly date before ex. He was my first and only real relationship. So if I had had more experience dating, I may have seen some red flags. However, nothing could have warned me of who he would become.....nothing. But, I have forgiven him, I pray for him (We no longer speak, it's just unsafe and unhealthy for me.) But, the damage has been done. And I feel 100% like I could not be in a relationship...for many major reasons. It would take a man with the patience of Job...and honestly....I am not holding my breath for that person to exist hahaha.

If you have health insurance check with them to see what they have to offer for mental health. And if no insurance then check to see what kinda of state social welfare programs they may have to help you. Pastors are also sometimes certified as a therapist.

The damage may be done but the healing must continue. Back to loneliness. One way to always play it safe is to put everyone in the friend zone. After awhile you will see who can be trusted and who cannot.

Remember God is with you and what evil intended for bad, you will find how to use it for Kingdom good. May it be your faith and testimony, maybe by helping others who have been abused, or by just being a shining example that no matter the depth of darkness, it could never put out your light.

 

[Lanolin]

can you not live with your family Im just wondering. But then you might have to give up some peace and quiet, which is equally precious. What about any pets or plants. anything God requires you to look after will make you feel less lonely as thats part of Gods plan. Churches always have minsitries and things you can do. Or if theres not anything God can call you to do something there.

I had feelings of being lonely only when I didnt have anything to do and wasnt part of Gods family. God wanted me to connect with people but not just to ONE person but many of His children.


regarding experience with dating well. thing is you dont just date ONE person and then assume they are going to be yours all the time. with dating you date lots of different people. Im not sure how dating is done when you cant see any red flags and just kinda assume that the other person is going to be automatically related or in relationship to you? especially if you dont really take the time to get to know someone on a date. hmm. You are NOT actually obligated to marry ANYBODY you date.

men can be pushy sometimes though, you just gotta tell them whats what if they push. If they cant be a friend they not even worth your time. I do wish men would stop preying on single women, and yes it can be lonely when every guy is only after your flesh.

 

[Beloved132]

can you not live with your family Im just wondering. But then you might have to give up some peace and quiet, which is equally precious. What about any pets or plants. anything God requires you to look after will make you feel less lonely as thats part of Gods plan. Churches always have minsitries and things you can do. Or if theres not anything God can call you to do something there.

I had feelings of being lonely only when I didnt have anything to do and wasnt part of Gods family. God wanted me to connect with people but not just to ONE person but many of His children.


regarding experience with dating well. thing is you dont just date ONE person and then assume they are going to be yours all the time. with dating you date lots of different people. Im not sure how dating is done when you cant see any red flags and just kinda assume that the other person is going to be automatically related or in relationship to you? especially if you dont really take the time to get to know someone on a date. hmm. You are NOT actually obligated to marry ANYBODY you date.

men can be pushy sometimes though, you just gotta tell them whats what if they push. If they cant be a friend they not even worth your time. I do wish men would stop preying on single women, and yes it can be lonely when every guy is only after your flesh.

Yes, a lot of truth there. I actually did live with family for a few years, but now have my own place, which I prefer.

 

[Beloved132]

This is all incrediblt

If you have health insurance check with them to see what they have to offer for mental health. And if no insurance then check to see what kinda of state social welfare programs they may have to help you. Pastors are also sometimes certified as a therapist.

The damage may be done but the healing must continue. Back to loneliness. One way to always play it safe is to put everyone in the friend zone. After awhile you will see who can be trusted and who cannot.

Remember God is with you and what evil intended for bad, you will find how to use it for Kingdom good. May it be your faith and testimony, maybe by helping others who have been abused, or by just being a shining example that no matter the depth of darkness, it could never put out your light.

This is all incredibly kind, and good points. Thank you very much.

 

[up]

in the same boat.. as you woman.
lonleyy.. kindda sucks... sometimes but God Will Provide... Amen!!!

 

[Beloved132]

in the same boat.. loney.. kindda sucks... sometimes but God Will Provide... Amen!!!

I only feel it sometimes. But when I do it's strong. Sorry you can relate.

 

[up]

I only feel it sometimes. But when I do it's strong. Sorry you can relate.

yeah, well, that's how it's been with me for longer than i thought, well said, due to same feelings... for sure, especially with all this happy, Love, heartfelt, mind, soul... it gets discomforting lately, working on it to have God show me, Lord knows I made my mistakes. trying to be to be with the True real woman He has planned for me.. if my thick-headness gets out of the way and be directed more, if that makes sense!

 

[Beloved132]

yeah, well, that's how it's been with me for longer than i thought, well said, due to same feelings... for sure, especially with all this happy, Love, heartfelt, mind, soul... it gets discomforting lately, working on it to have God show me, Lord knows I made my mistakes. trying to be to be with the True real woman He has planned for me.. if my thick-headness gets out of the way and be directed more, if that makes sense!

Haha, yes it makes sense. I pray you find who God has for you.

 

[TheIndianGirl]

I only feel it sometimes. But when I do it's strong. Sorry you can relate.

Yes, I can relate.