The disagreement is essentially in whether there should exist a wall between sanctification and justification. Some, beginning with Luther, have taken the idea of justification by faith to such an extreme that they have perverted it and made it empty. They have set a wall of division between works and faith and, ironically considering Paul's primary concern was boasting, boast in their not working.
Certainly as you said in another post the bearing of apples is not what makes an apple tree an apple tree, and I believe you've got it right on the head with the thief's rebuke. Are there possibly some who as they take the last breath suddenly receive? I suppose, but such exceptions have no bearing on a conversation such as this.
Ultimately I have to question people who claim to have given their lives to Jesus who fight so hard against the idea that He expects obedience. To serve Him is a great privilege and not a cause for boasting.
The truth that works complete a saved person (new works outwardly mirroring their new heart), does not contradict the truth that a person is saved because they believed in Jesus, and were born again. They are not saved
because they showed fruit, but quite the opposite, they showed fruit in time
because they were saved. This distinction is important.
The reason why we capitalize on grace is just like there are lawless people out there who trample grace that you warn about, there are also people out there, that nullify grace, and the Gospel, that we warn about. There are also various people who over the course of this thread denied that they have ever sinned in any regard since they accepted Christ, so since they are doing better than the apostles, maybe the apostles weren't saved.
I did not see any one of our friends
fight against obedience, or
deny obedience. We ONLY emphasize that obedience springs from salvation. This is in response teachings that we must "keep working to maintain salvation", and other teachings contradicting the Scriptures and denying eternal security, such as where it says that Holy Spirit was deposited into us as a GUARANTEE, or Christ promising to timely complete the good work He started in us. We are here because capitalizing on obedience combined with denying eternal security is a toxic brew, and it's not the Gospel. It's the unconditional love and grace that changes a person and causes them to want to obey and they are then shepherded with Jesus' staff (and rod if needed), unto obedience and producing fruit. But there are some people that seem to believe that God doesn't know what He's doing.
Jeremiah 32:40 And I will make an
everlasting covenant with them, that
I will not turn away from them, to do them good; but I will
put my fear in their hearts, that they shall not depart from me.
As opposed to Romans 3:18 quoting Psalms about the ungodly, "There is
no fear of God before their eyes."...
So there's not going to be departing, "walking away", people of the New covenant have a new heart. We get chastisements and warnings in the New testament exactly
because God is working these to shepherd His people from walking away. We are sons not bastards, and we are chastised and warned so we do not end up condemned with the world (
1 Cor 11:32). One who will not obey God and ignores Him to death, from these verses, did not have a new birth/new heart. So like you said, salvation and obedience do go together, the problem is when people apply an unbiblical causality between them, and then go on to deny Biblical eternal security - this is as bad as preaching security with kicking obedience out (like megachurches do), neither is the Gospel as taught by the apostles. Cheers