Are you made for marriage?

[BenFTW]

In marriage there is a lot of responsibility. Partners expect a lot out of each other whether it's being financially stable, providing material support, being emotionally available, present for raising children, being loving enough, good at X, Y, and Z things. All while juggling the myriad of responsibilities demanded from life.

Marriage probably doesn't always fit neatly and orderly into the box of life, but if it does then great.

We occasionally mess up and become inadequate to do what we should at all times. So I would say, be prepared to have a lot of grace, forgiveness, and patience to be "made for marriage." Because over a timeline of a lifelong pact with someone else these sorts of challenges I mentioned could possibly show up. Just something to think about.

I appreciate the way you worded this to leave room for things running perfectly smooth. It’s one of my pet peeves when people define the way things are (in their opinion), based in their experience or misfortune. I don’t say this in a haughty way, but sometimes people say “marriage is hard work” when what they really mean to say is that the person they are with is difficult.

I have my personal convictions about the way life should be, and praise God, I can have that life by His providence and goodness. It is miraculous, no doubt but that is what happens when you trust in God.

 

[BenFTW]

I don't think we are either made for marriage or not. I think we can choose. We can also choose to develop the qualities that make a marriage work well, or choose not to. We can also choose to go after the right kind of person or the kind of person we know is wrong for us.

Claiming "I'm made for marriage" or "I'm just not made for that" shirks the responsibility for the choices I have made in my life. It's a lot like an impatient person saying "I'm just made this way, to be impatient" instead of learning patience.

A useful point on the preparation part of the discussion. This is why I asked if people felt there were areas they need to grow in for marriage. Personal responsibility, yes. 🙂

 

[tourist]

I think I am.

It's certainly a desire of my heart.🙏🏼

I was married before, so I know I would do some things differently.
I also acknowledge that until we are in a marriage there is only so much we can "prepare" for.
I believe we need to enter into the marriage covenant with the intentions of fighting to preserve it no matter what, and sometimes "no matter what" is messy, hurtful and painful.

It sounds to me like you have a realistic view on marriage and are praying into that accordingly. 🙌🏻

May the Lord give you the desires of your heart. ❤

I am in agreement with your entire post. You can spend your entire lifetime 'preparing' for marriage, which while necessary, it is a passive exercise. Eventually you must take bold decisive action if in opportunity arises. From my own experience and observation I don't believe that one can ever be fully prepared for marriage. Your counsel about fighting to preserve your marriage no matter what is right on target. Yes, sometimes that is messy, hurtful, and painful but definitely worth it.

 

[tourist]

I don't want to talk about it.

Does that mean I have PTSD?

Did you experience a divorce too. Yeah, **it happens.

 

[tourist]

I've long been of the opinion that I would make a great wife, but a rather dull and boring girlfriend. I might be able to manage learning to be my own handyman, but find it a bit more difficult to move large furniture items on my own.

Based on the many posts I have read of yours through the years I believe that you would make a great wife too. Somewhere, out there, someone would make a good husband.

 

[tourist]

I think If the right person comes along to claim me, that He and I together with help from the Lord could make something lovely work.

I believe this to be true as well. How many brides can bake their own wedding cake?

 

[tourist]

God’s word says that “love never fails.” And for that reason love is essential in a lasting covenant. To walk in it, to give it and share in it. “Love is patient, love is kind.” “Love keeps no record of wrongs.” All of these things tend to a lasting covenant.

I don't keep score either.

 

[tourist]

Cuddling is good for marriage too! 😁 lol

This is a statement of truth.

 

[Lynx]

Based on the many posts I have read of yours through the years I believe that you would make a great wife too. Somewhere, out there, someone would make a good husband.

I have also been told I will make somebody a great wife some day. Usually it is mentioned when people are talking about my sourdough bread... >.>

 

[tourist]

I have also been told I will make somebody a great wife some day. Usually it is mentioned when people are talking about my sourdough bread... >.>

I do the grocery shopping on Monday morning. A couple hours ago my wife said to get bread but make sure it's not sourdough bread. I love that kind but she can't stand it. While I'm sure that your homemade sourdough bread is outstanding you will not, however, make a great wife.

 

[17Bees]

I have also been told I will make somebody a great wife some day. Usually it is mentioned when people are talking about my sourdough bread... >.>

Can I ask something about all that sourdough bread? How do you keep up with all that starter? Do you use the block starter? I can't imagine how much starter and time it would take to make as much as you do.

 

[Lynx]

I do the grocery shopping on Monday morning. A couple hours ago my wife said to get bread but make sure it's not sourdough bread. I love that kind but she can't stand it. While I'm sure that your homemade sourdough bread is outstanding you will not, however, make a great wife.

Depends. Commercial sourdough is nothing at ALL like homemade sourdough. Commercial sourdough has the texture of rye and the flavor of vinegar. I guess they want to make sure their sourdough is sour...

But yeah, I agree with her. Skip that junk.

 

[BenFTW]

While I'm sure that your homemade sourdough bread is outstanding you will not, however, make a great wife.

That’s a little blunt Tourist, lol.

 

[Lynx]

Can I ask something about all that sourdough bread? How do you keep up with all that starter? Do you use the block starter? I can't imagine how much starter and time it would take to make as much as you do.

Keeping up with it is no problem. I use a starter I got from my mother. She got it by setting out a mixture of flour, sugar, water and potato flakes until it started bubbling. (People will fill your ears with junk about yeast blowing in on the wind, but it's really in the wheat. Not even kidding.)

It keeps for half a year in the fridge if I don't use it. And it does take a while to make, mostly in the waiting - overnight for starter to propagate, three hours for first rising, knead again and three hours for second rising - so I make a large batch. If I'm going to be messing around with this stuff, might as well do a lot.

 

[17Bees]

Keeping up with it is no problem. I use a starter I got from my mother. She got it by setting out a mixture of flour, sugar, water and potato flakes until it started bubbling. (People will fill your ears with junk about yeast blowing in on the wind, but it's really in the wheat. Not even kidding.)

It keeps for half a year in the fridge if I don't use it. And it does take a while to make, mostly in the waiting - overnight for starter to propagate, three hours for first rising, knead again and three hours for second rising - so I make a large batch. If I'm going to be messing around with this stuff, might as well do a lot.

So, you make it for personal use or to take to your church? I thought maybe you made it for work.

 

[BenFTW]

Oh oh oh, Mr. Nehemiah is a catch? 😁 😄 Good job Nehemiah. 👍🏻

What went through your mind before your marriage? Did you think or know you were ready? Did you have worries or concerns? Were you nervous? Were you confident in knowing you could meet her needs? Did you feel marriage was definitely something desired in life?

Now I want the testimony of Mrs. Nehemiah. 😄 What’s the story? Come on... you can share.

Come on @Nehemiah6 🥺 🙃

 

[kinda]

Do you feel that you were made for marriage?

So, do you find yourself being created for marriage?

We are all created for marriage, God wants to have a close relationship with us all. The invitations have been sent, but not every one wants to go.

As far as earthly marriage, doesn't sound appealing at all.

They need to just sticky this thread on the top of singles forum, the same question will be brought up next month.

I used to think I wasn't, but the past week or so the Holy Spirit has put it on my heart there is indeed someone on the way. I am actually an introvert and perfectly satisfied being single . But here I am waiting.

I'm pretty sure Magenta prayed for you two weeks ago. I warned her.... Don't mess with prayer warriors!

 

[JustEli]

I must be made for marriage, shes been gone for three years and I cant seem to
get this divorce over with. Single yet married. Hahaha, maybe after the covid .................... Shes pretty busy
right now I think. Viya condios,

 

[Lynx]

So, you make it for personal use or to take to your church? I thought maybe you made it for work.

I make it for me, in 30-ish loaf batches, and keep it in the freezer.

I do donate some loaves if the church or my (nursing home activity director) aunt is having a yard/bake sale.

Sorry for the thread derail BenFTW.

 

[Lanolin]

Im reading this book called...Lady in waiting. This lady was born into aristocracy. she describes 'the season' as a time when they had balls and dances after her 'debut' at age 18 and the purpose of it was to breed an heir and meet someone to marry so they could inherit grand estates. The heir had to be male.
females had no other purpose but to cater to a male and be chatelaines. This is the world she grew up and was raised in. They had to be married off or they were shunned in society.

so anyway this lady married someone after her first choice was taken and he turned out to have a a really bad temper and eccentric tastes. Also mistresses. Its a given that rich people have MORE than one woman.
cos they can afford to keep them, they can just have a separate house for that on one of their many estates.
luckily she gave birth to a son as her firstborn, so she didnt have to endure the misery and financial stress of having only girls.

her husband left everything to an employee in his will though.

in general though aristocrats assume they will get married because thats the only way of handing down their vast estates. illegitimate unions dont count, but they may get perks, no titles. They wont marry commoners, or if they do, its a scandalous thing to do. more scandalous than marrying and having mistresses.