Why Don't We Hear About Single Christian Women Looking for Husbands in Other Countries?

[Runningman]

Baggage...such a distasteful word don't you think... especially for a Christian's vocabulary... especially when referring to children, quite possibly children who have been left broken-hearted by Daddy leaving or Mummy dying....
It's got me thinking about another reason why it's so difficult to find a husband🤔

I'm sorry I didn't mean it unkindly. I was just trying to find a broad term to generalize with.

 

[Butterflyyy]

The older you get the pool of available single people without baggage decreases drastically.

Perhaps 'responsibility' might be a better word.

 

[Runningman]

Perhaps 'responsibility' might be a better word.

Noted. Thank you.

 

[Susanna]

And now you have me wondering how a good ol' Cajun/Texan cultural mashup marriage (or divorce, for that matter) would go down.

Well, I don’t know. I’m a widow and I was married to another Cajun.

 

[Lynx]

"Responsibilities" does not cover things in your past, like a drug addiction, a divorce, or the coping mechanisms you have developed in order to deal with the life you have lived.

"Baggage" is perfect, and one of the nicest ways to put it.

 

[Butterflyyy]

And... 3... 2... 1...

Ah yes. I've been wondering how long it would take for you to come to the thread and tell me how weird my ideas are, Lanolin, because you literally do this in every. single. thread I put up, lol.

I've come to see it a hallmark now, and actually look forward to it. Thank you for not disappointing, and welcome to the discussion.



While I most definitely agree that it's generally more dangerous for a woman to seek out a husband in a foreign country, I'm not talking about women "putting themselves up for sale," though I can see how a dating profile might be seen as such.

What I'm really asking is something like this -- I see a slew of advertisements for dating sites specifically geared towards men, such as, "Exotic Asian Beauties WAITING to Meet YOU," and so forth. If I do any Google searches about relationships or Christian sites where you can meet people, my web pages will be bombarded with advertisements that cater to a man's every want, usually overseas.

Like anything else, I'm sure you can meet a few legit women out there (as mentioned in previous posts, my friend did, but only after some very bad experiences,) but is the focus always on supposedly supplying men with brides, and not women with husbands?

I also agree that in any situation (especially unknown places,) one must be especially careful regarding their safety. But what I'm wondering about is that you would think this would be seen as an equal opportunity, and yet I don't see ads for sites that cater to women looking for their dream husbands overseas. In other words, if there are SO MANY sites like this for men, why aren't there any female-oriented (catering to what WOMEN are looking for) counterparts?

A woman wouldn't have to "put herself up for sale" -- depending on the site's rules -- could post a profile with a generic photo of a landscape and no information about herself, which would cut down on the number of "offers" and allow her to peruse and choose the profiles of men she specifically wanted to talk to. Seeing as I've never been on a dating site that serves men exclusively, I don't know the rules. Maybe you don't even have to put up a profile and can simply "go shopping" for the woman of your dreams via screens full of profiles of supposedly available women.

I'm a woman and yet for some reason, the internet flashes tons of ads assuming I'm a man and that offer to help me find a dream woman from some exotic location (and some of us know men whom this has worked out for,) but I have never once seen an ad that offers the same services for women.

I'm not saying they're not out there. I'm just saying, why is this venue so seemingly one-sided?

I couldn't resist the temptation to share this thought SS.....
maybe it's because generally, most women wouldn't be so easily hooked in by ...well... let's just say our brains are not so much in our pants....

 

[Lynx]

I couldn't resist the temptation to share this thought SS.....
maybe it's because generally, most women wouldn't be so easily hooked in by ...well... let's just say our brains are not so much in our pants....

Women are, however, easily hooked by emotions. Any guy who is not busy trying to be a player knows the way to a woman's heart is through the man's attentive ear.

 

[Butterflyyy]

"Responsibilities" does not cover things in your past, like a drug addiction, a divorce, or the coping mechanisms you have developed in order to deal with the life you have lived.

"Baggage" is perfect, and one of the nicest ways to put it.

But if it is being used to describe children, which was stated in the post,then it is certainly not the perfect term. Even debt for some women is a responsibility they may have through no fault of their own.

 

[Lynx]

But if it is being used to describe children, which was stated in the post,then it is certainly not the perfect term. Even debt for some women is a responsibility they may have through no fault of their own.

If you wish to debate semantics, you have chosen a worthy opponent. A failed marriage or two was also listed in that post.

 

[Butterflyyy]

Women are, however, easily hooked by emotions. Any guy who is not busy trying to be a player knows the way to a woman's heart is through the man's attentive ear.

And that is exactly how it should be.

 

[Butterflyyy]

"Responsibilities" does not cover things in your past, like a drug addiction, a divorce, or the coping mechanisms you have developed in order to deal with the life you have lived.

"Baggage" is perfect, and one of the nicest ways to put it.

Also, one would hope that a Christian woman did not have such 'baggage' as a drug addiction...

 

[Butterflyyy]

If you wish to debate semantics, you have chosen a worthy opponent. A failed marriage or two was also listed in that post.

Which may also not be her fault.
A Christian man ought to have a more caring, selfless heart if he desires to be someone's Godly husband, according to scripture. It's wise to be realistic about what responsibility you are able to trust God with of course.

 

[Butterflyyy]

This way this post is going has me thinking about the fact that the Lord knows the number of hairs on my head, and so does He not also know how to provide me with the right spouse if it is His will🤔
Those 'Asian Beauty' type ads seem aimed at some foolish men's lustful appetites which Proverbs warns him against...

 

[Hungry]

Baggage...such a distasteful word don't you think... especially for a Christian's vocabulary... especially when referring to children, quite possibly children who have been left broken-hearted by Daddy leaving or Mummy dying....
It's got me thinking about another reason why it's so difficult to find a husband🤔

Baggage- past experiences or long-held ideas regarded as burdens and impediments.

That’s what came up when l looked to see if it was used “distastefully”. I’d say it’s accurately used. Perhaps some children are blessings, absolutely. However, I’ve know several guys from work and friends of my wife who are dealing with step children in trouble with the law, horrible addictions and laziness. I think we can group that into “burdens and impediments”.

 

[Butterflyyy]

Baggage- past experiences or long-held ideas regarded as burdens and impediments.

That’s what came up when l looked to see if it was used “distastefully”. I’d say it’s accurately used. Perhaps some children are blessings, absolutely. However, I’ve know several guys from work and friends of my wife who are dealing with step children in trouble with the law, horrible addictions and laziness. I think we can group that into “burdens and impediments”.

Really? Well if those step-children were their own children with the same problems I wonder whether they would still refer to them as 'burdens'....
I'm glad God does not see His troublesome children like that.... love doesn't see them as burdens... and no-one can guarantee that their children whether biological or not will grow up without any problems.
I have to say, I am disgusted at the heart attitude of some Christian men. I wonder what God thinks about it. Maybe if there were more courageous Christian men who were willing to help troubled kids we wouldn't have so many problems in society, rather we would have some hope... and God would be all the more glorified.

 

[Hungry]

Which may also not be her fault.
A Christian man ought to have a more caring, selfless heart if he desires to be someone's Godly husband, according to scripture. It's wise to be realistic about what responsibility you are able to trust God with of course.

I think the point is that if you are interested in helping someone pick up the pieces of their shattered life then there’s lots to choose from locally. If you just want a fresh start with a young woman who has less expectations and more gratitude, who likes to cook and clean, with potentially less burdensome, emotional “responsibilities”, then maybe another country is the place to look.

 

[tourist]

I am old fashioned, I like to meet chicks at the bar............... hahahahaha

...another good place is a laundry mat and a grocery store. You might bump into that special one while perusing the produce and thumping the honey dews to see which one is ripe for the taking.

 

[Hungry]

Really? Well if those step-children were their own children with the same problems I wonder whether they would still refer to them as 'burdens'....
I'm glad God does not see His troublesome children like that.... love doesn't see them as burdens... and no-one can guarantee that their children whether biological or not will grow up without any problems.
I have to say, I am disgusted at the heart attitude of some Christian men. I wonder what God thinks about it. Maybe if there were more courageous Christian men who were willing to help troubled kids we wouldn't have so many problems in society, rather we would have some hope... and God would be all the more glorified.

Perhaps you are looking at this the wrong way. If I bought a car and it breaks I would fix it. It’s my car. If I went to the dealer and told him I was interested in good reliable car to go to work in and enjoy on the weekends, I wouldn’t pick the one with a busted headlight, a puddle of oil under it, covered in rust and won’t start. You wouldn’t either. Are you telling me just because you’re a good Christian woman you would intentially pick some overweight dude, living in his parents basement with a drug addicted teenage daughter?...just because God loves them too? I think your answer is, “No thanks, not for me.”

For the record, I’d be happy to help anybody. It doesn’t mean I want to enter into a lifelong, spiritual and legal agreement with their mom.

 

[SoulWeaver]

This way this post is going has me thinking about the fact that the Lord knows the number of hairs on my head, and so does He not also know how to provide me with the right spouse if it is His will🤔
Those 'Asian Beauty' type ads seem aimed at some foolish men's lustful appetites which Proverbs warns him against...

I met my husband online 10yrs ago, and we are from different continents. But we did not meet on a dating site or talked with plans to marry, we "clicked" as friends first... Not that anything is essentially wrong about looking for a spouse on dating sites, there are just so many traps. Definitely many foolish men who seem to want a 30 years younger Barbie and they deserve what they often get, a fraud woman who wants to use them as well. I think people are much better off connecting online through shared hobbies and interests and you might just meet the right person when you least expect it. Which is kind of what happened to us.

 

[Lanolin]

What's interesting to me when reading people's feedback here is that from a business standpoint, it seems to be a clear-cut case of supply and demand.

* Men want younger women who are aesthetically pleasing, fertile (according to Adstar,) have little to no baggage, respect whatever amount of money the man has, and still looks to him as a leader and provider.

And so, the business world found a way to both meet and profit from this. The demand is, and will always be high, and there is an ample supply of young women from poorer countries from which they can recruit in order to meet this demand.

What's ironic to me is that there seems to be no equivalent for women.

If it's fair for men to want what they want, wouldn't God allow women to their own wants as well?

* What if a woman wants a man with little to no baggage, and is a good leader and provider? There's plenty of demand, but it's intriguing to me that apparently, not even money-hungry businesses can find a supply to sell to them because if they could find a way to profit off women's dreams the same way as the men, they wouldn't hesitate.

I'm not trying to make this a battle of the sexes at all.

I'm just noticing what appears to me to be a gaping discrepancy, and I am thinking to myself, "Why?"

seoul God answers your question in Proverbs 20:6
I have often asked Him the same question and He just gives me the same answer. all the time.