narcissists !
- Thread starter Gregoryp
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Just for the sake of clarity, what is your personal definition of a narcissist?
I meet a lot of people who seem to talk only about themselves, and with every conversation you try to make with them, they always direct it back to their own life, interests, or problems -- but I wouldn't classify many of them as narcissists.
I think the majority are just lonely people who rarely have anyone show any interest in them (especially parents who are always giving to their families and never have time for themselves), so they naturally just jump at the chance to share about themselves instead of focusing on others as they normally do.
I meet a lot of people who seem to talk only about themselves, and with every conversation you try to make with them, they always direct it back to their own life, interests, or problems -- but I wouldn't classify many of them as narcissists.
I think the majority are just lonely people who rarely have anyone show any interest in them (especially parents who are always giving to their families and never have time for themselves), so they naturally just jump at the chance to share about themselves instead of focusing on others as they normally do.
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Lol.
Chalk it up to working with an almost constant stream of single mothers for several years. They weren't narcissists, they were just going through a lot and needed someone to talk to. For most of them, the fathers were absent or put all the childcare on them, so I got to hear A LOT of stories about... Uh. Things I didn't really want to hear about (for instance, potty training, with every gory detail) but they were going through a lot and needed someone to talk to.
Same thing with men as well. There have been times in my life when I was a magnet for men who didn't know how to talk to women, or weren't used to talking to women -- and once they found a woman they felt they could talk to, they made up for all that lost time of never talking to one! But again, most weren't true narcissists, just the very lonely people our society is conditioning.
Most of us go work where we're a name badge or a number; we care for our families and it's all about what they need; we go to church and it's all about how much we can talk about God and serve others. I'm certainly not saying this is bad or somehow wrong. I'm just saying, no one takes the time to ask, "Who are you? What do you love, and why? Who taugh
I think the majority of people are starved for someone to dig below the surface and discover who they really are, rather than what they always do.
This is why I ask the questions I do in singles -- to try to give people a chance to tell us who they really are.
And I'll be the first to admit that it's hard if you become a one-way emotional dumping ground for someone else. The ideal situation, of course, is a two-way, balanced friendship/relationship -- but like most people, I'm finding it to be extremely rare.
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Hey, I didn't say Gregory had to marry them 
God works in mysterious ways. You got the ball rolling.
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hey, I aint married, never have been and no kids. Had a few long term relationships with much older women, but thats a story for another time. These narcissists though, its a long story but suffice to say they sure love empaths to feed off. I can pick there energy signature a mile off now thank goodness. Still waiting for the one though This would do it, but unfortunately she recently married and had a child.
This would do it, but unfortunately she recently married and had a child.