if your understanding of 'reformed' is correct, then apparently not only am i not a calvinist, i am not 'reformed' either.
Aside: I am not sure what difference there is between Calvinism and Reformed theology. I know they are similar.
Reformed theology, unlike any other protestant theology, is very organized and documented. There are two major creeds that summarize their opinions:
The 1689 Baptist Confession of Faith
http://www.grbc.net/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/The-1689-Baptist-Confession-of-Faith.pdf
The 1647 Westminster Confession
https://www.ligonier.org/learn/articles/westminster-confession-faith/
The Baptist document was based on the Presbyterian document. They are similar. The documents are concise and use extensive scripture to backup their theology.
From the posts you written that I have read, you may be REFORMED.
The following is (I've been told) classical Calvinism (again, close to REFORMED thinking)
God’s Eternal Decrees
Whatsoever comes to pass in time was decreed unconditionally and unalterably before.
Whatsoever comes to pass in time, comes to pass because it was decreed before time.
Nothing can be, but what was decreed; and what was decreed cannot fail to be; and it cannot fail to be, because decreed.
Election and Reprobation
God decreed from eternity, the fall of Adam and the ruin or fall of his posterity in him.
That, regarding man as fallen, he elected some men, whose names and number were designated, unto everlasting life.
That those thus predestinated were so predestinated, unchangeably and unconditionally, without any reference whatever to their works or character.
That for these, and these only, he provided a Savior and all the means necessary to procure their salvation without any conditions on their part.
That the persons thus unchangeably designed cannot possibly perish, do what they may, but will be irresistibly drawn to Christ and to justification, adoption, and sanctification.
With respect to the rest, whose names and number are also definitely fixed, that he passed them by in their sins and predestinated them unto destruction.
That they were thus passed and predestinated from eternity, and so were ordained to destruction before they were born, of the good pleasure of God and to the glory of his sovereign justice.
That for these he never did provide a Savior, and that consequently they could not be saved, do what they might.
That those reprobated in no respect differed from those elected, and the one class were elected and the other class reprobated of the mere sovereign pleasure of God without any respect to any difference in them whatever.
Atonement
Calvinists believe that the death of Christ is of sufficient value, intrinsically, to make atonement for all the sins of the whole world had it been so intended.
That resulting from his death are many benefits and blessings to all men--the reprobate in common with the elect.
That though his death is thus sufficient to be an atonement for the world, yet it is not an atonement for all because he did not die for all, but simply and only for the elect.
Effectual Calling
That up to the moment of
effectual call--regeneration--a man cannot cease from sin; he has not the power to do so.
None but the elect ever are effectually called--regenerated.
When the elect are effectually called, they cannot help but yield; they have no power to resist.
This effectual call is sent upon the elect without any conditions or preparation on their part.
Perseverance
Persons once regenerated may fall into grievous sins, and continue therein for a time indefinite.
They cannot totally fall away, but, however sinful they may become, will continue to be children of God.
They cannot finally perish, but must necessarily come to eternal life. Such is the doctrine of the Presbyterian Church, as taught by their Confession of Faith and standard authors. To it we find many and, to us insuperable objections. Read and judge for yourselves.
The Heathen
The Gospel alone is the power of God unto salvation to everyone that believeth. We are persuaded there is no salvation without Christ; no communion of adult persons with Christ, but by faith in him; no faith in Christ without the knowledge of him; no knowledge but by the preaching of the Gospel; no preaching of the Gospel in the works of nature.
The Will
Calvinists believe that every volition, or choice, is the necessary result of an influence exerted upon the mind, through the agency of motives. In other words, they believe that such is the constitution of the human mind, that it cannot will at all without a motive, and that, when it does will, it cannot will otherwise under the mind.
Covenants
Calvinists use Covenant Theology to interpret scripture.
I am probably getting close to 10,000 characters. I can post what else I have in case you are interested.