If you could go back in time, what would you change or choose differently?
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I agree with you. There are times of sorrow that if I removed, I might not have grown. Happiness can be an addiction to comfort that lulls us into complacency. We become unaware of our need for God because we fool ourselves into thoughts that we are in control. We might miss our dire need for grace. To wish aware a hard marriage would be to wish away my son. To wish away illness would be to render myself less useful when I was a medical social worker and as an encourager. I would miss the incredible enjoyment I get out of beauty, laughter, warm breezes, a glass of cold lemonade and hugs. I might have enjoyed them but not with the depth I feel now. My life is filled with blessings and to live dwelling on regrets is such a slap in the face of God.
"Daughter look at the fridge, freezer and pantry full of food." "But Lord, remember when I was 5 years old and I had an ice cream and I dropped it? How can I be happy or grateful?". Yes I lost three pregnancies but he blessed me with a child. The pain and losses were real but the blessings and joy are to be in appreciating my daily bread and this very moment and the even greater hope of what is ahead. There is nothing of worth to be found in poking around in the rubble of our lives except to praise God for how he delivered us. Thank you Father for the deliverance from death and earthly sorrows.
"Daughter look at the fridge, freezer and pantry full of food." "But Lord, remember when I was 5 years old and I had an ice cream and I dropped it? How can I be happy or grateful?". Yes I lost three pregnancies but he blessed me with a child. The pain and losses were real but the blessings and joy are to be in appreciating my daily bread and this very moment and the even greater hope of what is ahead. There is nothing of worth to be found in poking around in the rubble of our lives except to praise God for how he delivered us. Thank you Father for the deliverance from death and earthly sorrows.
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Amen, and same here: I lost three pregnancies (one was a still birth) before the extremely premature birth of my lovely daughter during some of the most difficult times of my life. My life was hell at the time but how could I want to change that? She is such a blessing to me! 
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Agreed. I have to admit there are many things that haunt me from the past, but the most important thing is to learn from them, and be thankful for what you have. There is a saying, "It could always be worse". I'm pretty sure God saved me from death a few times, it left me awe struck. If God wanted me alive now, maybe he didn't want me to have those things in the past. Having a 360 view on situations helps to prevent any tunnel vision.
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I had three close friends about eight years ago, but we are are no longer friends or kept in touch in years. This was "best friend" level friendship; we were either roommates or spent time together frequently and we've known eachother for years. But there was a bit of jealousy amongst us (including me since I didn't like my roommate becoming close friends with one of my other best friends). Anyway we just stopped talking to eachother and lost touch. Two got married and none of the other three including me (based on facebook pics) were invited. One deleted another from Facebook. One invited me to the baby shower but not wedding, so I was offended. This whole situation makes me sad even now sometimes, since we had many happy memories together. If I could change things, i wouldn't got gone silent on them, and kept in touch or forgave earlier one.
There is some happy news. During this period, because I was so fed-up, I started attending church and met one of my best friends. I was her maid of honor.
There is some happy news. During this period, because I was so fed-up, I started attending church and met one of my best friends. I was her maid of honor.
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Agreed. I have to admit there are many things that haunt me from the past, but the most important thing is to learn from them, and be thankful for what you have. There is a saying, "It could always be worse". I'm pretty sure God saved me from death a few times, it left me awe struck. If God wanted me alive now, maybe he didn't want me to have those things in the past. Having a 360 view on situations helps to prevent any tunnel vision.
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Well this thread is interesting to me as I know I've had a good life and have precious few regrets, but I can think of 3 or 4 things I would go back and do differently if I had them to do over. What they all have in common is that they're times I wish I had been more bold, understanding, or loving and less passive and willing to go along with what was expected. I don't know that it would have made my life any easier to do those things differently but I wish I got a do over.
All that to say I'm rather surprised at the number of people who wouldn't change anything given the chance; have to wonder if it's lack of imagination, lack of memory, or maybe just things were difficult enough that no one wants to think about having to go through it again. (hmmm maybe I should set a reminder for next march and make a thread about what do you wish you'd done differently in the corona virus lockdown, we might have enough distance from it to see how ridiculous some of our behaviors were by then)
All that to say I'm rather surprised at the number of people who wouldn't change anything given the chance; have to wonder if it's lack of imagination, lack of memory, or maybe just things were difficult enough that no one wants to think about having to go through it again. (hmmm maybe I should set a reminder for next march and make a thread about what do you wish you'd done differently in the corona virus lockdown, we might have enough distance from it to see how ridiculous some of our behaviors were by then)
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[QUOTE="cinder, post: 4274521, member: 192257"
All that to say I'm rather surprised at the number of people who wouldn't change anything given the chance; have to wonder if it's lack of imagination, lack of memory, or maybe just things were difficult enough that no one wants to think about having to go through it again. [/QUOTE]
Something to think about.... If (it's a huge if, like fairy tales, and rainbows with a pot of gold on the end.) you could change your decisions from the past you don't really know what the outcomes would of been, and could be kicking yourself, for not going with your first choice all along. Then you would only wish, that you could go back with your first decision all along, but you can't make a 3rd choice just based on discussion's sake to make a point. So, at least with the past decisions we made either for better or for worse, we are alive to talk about it. Can't really say that with 100% certainty, if you made a different move or decision in the past.
Or...You would be in a constant loop reliving the same scenario for years until you get the outcome you like for a brief period of time, but later discover it wasn't a good choice after all. Then, your back reliving that same situation again. What a dreadful existence that would be. Life would lose much of it's meaning.
For instance, take Judgment Day for example. Let's just say, person X finds out that they are doomed for the second death and will not have a place in eternity with our awesome God. So, person X says, hold on, I want to relive my life, so I can be saved also. This would pretty much extinguish all accountability, one could just keep hitting the replay button. This is why it's best to stay clear from hypothetical questions, that don't have any real application.
might as well get rid of capital letters and periods, sense there wouldn't be an end or beginning It's pretty much taking God's plan out of human existence, which sounds foolish at face value. If you just like to wish upon a star, than keep dreaming by all means.
All that to say I'm rather surprised at the number of people who wouldn't change anything given the chance; have to wonder if it's lack of imagination, lack of memory, or maybe just things were difficult enough that no one wants to think about having to go through it again. [/QUOTE]
Something to think about.... If (it's a huge if, like fairy tales, and rainbows with a pot of gold on the end.) you could change your decisions from the past you don't really know what the outcomes would of been, and could be kicking yourself, for not going with your first choice all along. Then you would only wish, that you could go back with your first decision all along, but you can't make a 3rd choice just based on discussion's sake to make a point. So, at least with the past decisions we made either for better or for worse, we are alive to talk about it. Can't really say that with 100% certainty, if you made a different move or decision in the past.
Or...You would be in a constant loop reliving the same scenario for years until you get the outcome you like for a brief period of time, but later discover it wasn't a good choice after all. Then, your back reliving that same situation again. What a dreadful existence that would be. Life would lose much of it's meaning.
For instance, take Judgment Day for example. Let's just say, person X finds out that they are doomed for the second death and will not have a place in eternity with our awesome God. So, person X says, hold on, I want to relive my life, so I can be saved also. This would pretty much extinguish all accountability, one could just keep hitting the replay button. This is why it's best to stay clear from hypothetical questions, that don't have any real application.
might as well get rid of capital letters and periods, sense there wouldn't be an end or beginning It's pretty much taking God's plan out of human existence, which sounds foolish at face value. If you just like to wish upon a star, than keep dreaming by all means.
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Wanting to go back and make choices that may be more Godly and God honoring is "pretty much taking God's plan out of human existence"? Now I can understand how having infinite do overs could be a bad thing, that's clear enough. But I would say that as you grow you should be able to look back and see how you could have done things differently, and even speculate fairly accurately on what might have happened. I understand that too much of that can be unhealthy as well. But change absolutely nothing, not even how many times you decided to eat pizza or ice cream or something less healthy? Not even times you got mad and yelled at someone and were less than gracious? Not even a stupid post on the internet that may never be read again or someone may dig up in 10 years time and decide you were a real jerk? Not I wish I would have been more (or less) ...... when raising my kids?
I'm not necessarily advocating changing the super major impactful life decisions and I can understand people saying which college they chose or profession they undertook or who they married they wouldn't do different because it's just too big and it is hard to accurately imagine how your life would have gone with a different career or different spouse (or having different kids). But I can't be the only one who has those moments that I look back on with less than pride and wish I could go back and be a better person in, even if they seem minor and possibly silly.
I'm not necessarily advocating changing the super major impactful life decisions and I can understand people saying which college they chose or profession they undertook or who they married they wouldn't do different because it's just too big and it is hard to accurately imagine how your life would have gone with a different career or different spouse (or having different kids). But I can't be the only one who has those moments that I look back on with less than pride and wish I could go back and be a better person in, even if they seem minor and possibly silly.
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