I will make sure when something sexual happens to me its gonna be because I want it. My mind and body didnt want it but i didnt know how to speak up i was never faced with a situation like it before. And things at home didnt make it easier i was never allowed to make decisions they were always made for me.
I'm not suggesting you lower your standards or anything regarding companionship, I merely suggest a change.
Someone who is a chaste virgin in the flesh doesn't say at all if they are marriage material. I always thought to marry a virgin like I said, but in the end, the Lord can restore many people in many ways and my main criteria is their heart is for the Lord and we are mutually interested in each other.
You can find virgins that aren't believers...or nominal believers. If you found yourself completely in love with someone and then found out they had sex before when they were young or whatever, would you break it off?
I'm asking sincerely because as you yourself have experienced, stuff happens to everyone. A lot of the things that have happened to me beyond my control (I think) were in dreams. I have been raped in a dream. No it's not the same thing as being raped awake, but I still remember it and coincidentally I learned about many different sexual things in dreams that I felt were wrong but had to find it in the Old Testament to know for sure.
That stuff just sort of found me. I have guarded myself physically to a large extent, but asleep if I am intentional about it, it feels like I did it.
So would I want a female to look elsewhere just because I've had my own struggles and mistakes? No. I would want them to know my history and the struggles that I've had and what it says about the road ahead if we marry, but ideally I'd want someone with a similar struggle against their flesh but in a female format. Idealistic? maybe. Children I didn't father that aren't adopted is a hurdle I'm not sure I'm built for. I get it when both parties come out of prior marriages and join families but a single never married jumping in to fathering children half my age, yeah...seems out of my depth. Stepfatherhood seems like a strange first step.
Anyway, I just posted that so you can get a gauge that while it does matter, you gotta be careful not to idolize virginity and that there are many paths marriage can take. A lifelong partner no matter their past so long as their present and future is in Jesus is all that matters as far as I can see.