I think there a lot of us here that feel oppressed and persecuted. "I" could give you a bunch of similar thoughts as well as some rather revolting creations of my flesh as far as logic and proud and arrogant words/thoughts go, almost all of them relating to scripture out of context.
While you might feel commiseration in what you are going through, it would seem to me a pity party and I'm almost 100% that the Lord does not care for that AT ALL. Encouragement is what I pray the Lord allows me to bring you.
Let's just say I have a something of a bulletin board with things I would like understanding on, the majority of them are outside myself.
I'm going to put a GIANT ellipsis here for now
...
In the end it comes down to trust issues. Can a creation say unto the creator "what doest thou"? There's an exchange between someone in scripture along those lines, if anyone knows where it is that is said, great
Umm, while I would like to give you peace and clarity for what you are going through all I can say is I see a lot myself. I cannot say God is doing "nothing". As that is completely inaccurate. It is simply not what I would think he would do based off how I read scripture.
I feel your pain and anguish in this issue. I too resonate with the story of Job and I had a moment where I was in one of the blackest moods I had ever been in, not hatred at the Lord, but anger wanting him to just end it and just "What?!?" So I look around, what's near me as I lay on the ground....a bible. Really? That's it? Fine. *opens randomly* it ends up being Job 7. Read it if you feel so inclined.
I'm not sure about you but I go through some really long hard days feeling like my eyes are almost burned, but I have to look, I don't have a choice what is laid on my heart (I don't mean physically seeing). And then guess what? There's nothing "I" can do but pray and for what? But I pray...and then oppression comes in sleep, but I get sleep. Lately I've been finding some rest. Sleep is a gift that I've been given lately.
I too believe the Lord has plans for me. I've come to grips that a lot of the "great plans" may be unseen and I may not ever know of them. That's alright. I would like to see it play out, but when you are in the thick of battle, rarely do you get time to observe (if at all)
I am going to fall into what I feel is displeasing to the Lord if I try to meet you where you are...I go there often enough in my thoughts, but when I prostrate myself in my heart and submit, a LOT of those things lift. I too am quite tired most of the time. Weary. Is the dawn on the horizon? Soon? When is soon?
The judgement of the wicked has been impressed on me. Particularly when I was dabbling with some pretty dark stuff...I was shielded from a considerable amount of things but one thing that was VERY present was wrath. It's not far off...it's simmering to boil, I can feel it every day and it's frightening.
There's a verse in Genesis 15 (verse 16) that talks about the sin of the Amorites being not yet at its full.
Take a long look at that one. Take a long look at the Lord's response to Jonah after Nineveh repented. I believe it's Babylon whose sins are piled as high as heaven, but it is "not yet" but soon will be. It's on the horizon, THAT at least I can see. So I can only have faith that judgement and the Lord's return is just beyond that horizon.
You mentioned Joseph. How do you think he felt being imprisoned for so long for literally doing what the Lord would have him do?
He had a VERY trying time. I don't want to share my personal insights into the story but any time I get exceptionally bitter and "black"...I am pointed back to Joseph and Job. What is interesting to me is that neither of these men had miraculous works follow them. Joseph was elevated in such a way that if others were to witness it and see his life play out, they could disbelieve it was the Lord. A far cry from Moses and Paul...Job and Joseph were "normal" except the Lord worked through their circumstances.
Just be careful with where you let these thoughts go. Righteous revenge doesn't exist. Even revenging yourself against the Lord is error. I.e it's his fault mentality. It won't get you anywhere pleasant, and this type of thinking brings the enemy near in my life, and some of my tirades...
I am confident in the vengeance of the Lord. Be wary though, because he does indeed search the heart and we need to examine it daily and ask him if there be any error found within it.... work out our salvation with fear and
trembling.
All these things I have done are but by his grace and
mercy allowing me to be what he has called me to be.