Women Equality

[Hungry]

There are laws in many states that deal with emotional abuse. My point was the right or wrong of it within a Christian marriage, not in a legal sense. It is abuse, there is such a thing as emotional abuse. Just because the laws are now catching up on it and recognizing it doesn't make it any less wrong and harmful.




We would agree on that point.



We are not talking about a tiff in a marriage, I made that clear. We are talking about constant blame, continual, nothing can be done right in the spouses eyes. That is abuse.





Same as I pointed out above and in my other post. We are not talking about marital tiffs and disagreements. We are talking about continual yelling to the point where you are intimidating your spouse.





I think you know what I'm about to say... But I would think most women would have their own account and money this day in age. I personally don't but in my marriage my husband is the one who overspends. Go figure.




No actually there is such a thing as emotional abuse, it's recognized in many states under the law. But as a Christian it is wrong to emotionally abuse your partner. I think you may need to read more to understand better what it actually is.

I’m not saying there isn’t emotional abuse and that it doesn’t exist. My whole point all along has been that some women feel they are being emotionally abused when they aren’t. It has become this label that has been used improperly. Practical sense; I can’t talk to my wife. If I have to tell her anything “corrective” it turns into a fight. Clearly it’s her own insecurities and in order to function she can’t admit she could possibly wrong...at all...about anything....really anything. When I attempt to communicate and it hurts her that I can’t see that obviously she is infallible and point out where she is, I’m attacking her. Seriously, I am calm and sympathetic but she gets emotionally distraught. In these times she always accuses me of emotionally abusing her. I’m just trying to talk about a problem, so we can move past it. It’s not abuse but she thinks it is because people keep overusing the word. Now that might explain where I’m coming from. Please nobody suggest counseling. You can’t take someone to counseling who thinks they are infallible. The councillor will be wrong about everything except where I need correction.

 

[proverbs35]

Many of the character traits and fruit outlined in Proverbs 31 are mutual; they apply to both men and women. They are part of the Christian lifestyle.

Be Strong

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies (v.10). The phrase translated as “virtuous woman” or “woman of noble character” means Eshet CHAYIL in Hebrew. CHAYIL (Strong’s 2428) means to display strength. The word CHAYIL is also used to describe mighty men of valor in the Bible: Josh 1:14, 6:2; Judg 6:12; 2 Kgs 15:20. Men can and should be noble and virtuous (CHAYIL) too.

Do Good

She will do him good … (v.12). As believers, men and women are admonished to “do good” to our enemies (Lu 6:27, 35). Christian men and women are admonished to “do good” and to share with others (He 13:16).

Do no harm

She brings him good, not harm … (v.12). Husbands are instructed to love their wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Eph 5:25). Romans 13:10 tells us that “love does no harm.” Therefore, if a husband loves his wife, he will not harm her.

Work With Your Hands

She … works with eager hands (v.13). Christian men and women are called to live a quiet lives, mind our business and “work with our hands” … (1 Th 4:11).

Clothe ourselves with strength

Strength and dignity are her clothing (v. 25). Christian men and women are told to be strong by CLOTHING ourselves with the full armor of God (Eph 6:10-18 NET).

Don’t Be Idle

She … does not eat the bread of idleness (v.27). Paul proclaimed the value of hard work and sternly warned men and women not to be idle (2 Th 3:6-12). “And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone” ( 1 Th 5:14).

Speak With Wisdom

She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue (v.26). “The mouth of the righteous man utters wisdom, and his tongue speaks what is just” (Ps 37:30).
Pr 10:31

Care for the Poor

She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy (v.20). Christian men and women are admonished to care for the poor and needy (Ma 25:34-40).

Fear the Lord

… a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised (v. 30). “Blessed is the man who fears the LORD, who greatly delights in his commandments!” (Ps 112:1)

In the Bible, Christian men are instructed to cultivate the same character and fruit outlined in Pr 31: be strong, do their spouses good and not harm, work with their hands, not be idle, speak with wisdom, care for the poor and fear the Lord.

An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels (v. ‭10).
‬
Most men will proclaim every one his own goodness; but a faithful man, who can find? Pr 20:6

 

[preacher4truth]

I think that women should have complete control. Look at all the nations where women are in control. Their countries are doing great! Lol.( Funny, but true)

Germany is doing great? What you've stated isn't true.

 

[1956Robin]

1 Tim 2:12

I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet.

good thing Mary Magdalen did not

 

[ByStillWaters]

Right on @1956Robin women were the first preachers of our risen saviour!

 

[Magenta]

I’m not saying there isn’t emotional abuse and that it doesn’t exist. My whole point all along has been that some women feel they are being emotionally abused when they aren’t. It has become this label that has been used improperly. Practical sense; I can’t talk to my wife. If I have to tell her anything “corrective” it turns into a fight. Clearly it’s her own insecurities and in order to function she can’t admit she could possibly wrong...at all...about anything....really anything. When I attempt to communicate and it hurts her that I can’t see that obviously she is infallible and point out where she is, I’m attacking her. Seriously, I am calm and sympathetic but she gets emotionally distraught. In these times she always accuses me of emotionally abusing her. I’m just trying to talk about a problem, so we can move past it. It’s not abuse but she thinks it is because people keep overusing the word. Now that might explain where I’m coming from. Please nobody suggest counseling. You can’t take someone to counseling who thinks they are infallible. The councillor will be wrong about everything except where I need correction.

I am sorry to hear that... and I did wonder if the expenditures you mentioned earlier were purchased from a sense of feelings of insecurity and a need to present a particular "image." Perhaps what she is asking is that you accept her as she is, for maybe she sees your attempts at correction as rejection

 

[Magenta]

@Hungry ~ And if that is the case, it would seem also that it is her own internal process in reaction to what she perceives as criticism/rejection that is the true cause of the distress she feels that becomes the monster of abuse in her mind. Not understanding the source and refusing to take responsibility for it, it is then projected onto you. Ouch

 

[kaylagrl]

I’m not saying there isn’t emotional abuse and that it doesn’t exist. My whole point all along has been that some women feel they are being emotionally abused when they aren’t. It has become this label that has been used improperly.

Possibly,but it's a reality for many people living in an abusive marriage. And when it's not taken seriously people suffer terribly. I have a loved one in that type of marriage and it tears my heart to pieces to see what she and her children are suffering. She feels called to stay. Not only does it come from her husband but her in laws as well. It's not a feeling for her, it's reality.

Practical sense; I can’t talk to my wife. If I have to tell her anything “corrective” it turns into a fight. Clearly it’s her own insecurities and in order to function she can’t admit she could possibly wrong...at all...about anything....really anything.

I would suggest that that is because of her upbringing and she needs to get some help. Your approach will not help the situation. She needs help to cope with the issue and you need help to approach the situation without her seeing you as the enemy.

When I attempt to communicate and it hurts her that I can’t see that obviously she is infallible and point out where she is, I’m attacking her. Seriously, I am calm and sympathetic but she gets emotionally distraught. In these times she always accuses me of emotionally abusing her. I’m just trying to talk about a problem, so we can move past it. It’s not abuse but she thinks it is because people keep overusing the word. Now that might explain where I’m coming from. Please nobody suggest counseling. You can’t take someone to counseling who thinks they are infallible. The councillor will be wrong about everything except where I need correction.

I totally understand your problem. My father has this very issue. But he was thrown out of his house when he was a young teen to fend for himself. His mother was married several times and had issues of her own before she came to Christ. They never did sit down and discuss the hurts of the past. My father will never say he is sorry or admit he is wrong. It almost kills him to do so. I was utterly shocked when I got married and my husband apologized for something. I didn't know they could do that. lol But seriously, perhaps it would be better for you to go for help to learn to deal with her. I have found no solution for our family. It's very hard on my mother who is calm,quiet, forgiving and hates to fight. I love my father, but he can be a terror at times and the older they are getting the harder it is on my mother who is fighting cancer right now. Still my father refuses to relent and admit he is wrong. Very hard to live with a person with this attitude. They will always see themselves as the victim.

 

[kaylagrl]

Germany is doing great? What you've stated isn't true.

Hey preacher, haven't seen you in a dogs age! Hope you're doing well.

 

[preacher4truth]

Hey preacher, haven't seen you in a dogs age! Hope you're doing well.

Doing well, hope you are too.

 

[Roughsoul1991]

You realize that Proverbs are not narratives or history, right? They are witty statements, to instruct young men on how to live and be righteous before God.

The Proverbs 31 woman has no name, therefore, she is not real. I have preached on this, and she is a composite of the ideal woman. It has been calculated a woman would need a 32 hour day, to barely keep up with all those tasks.

The most important part of Proverbs 31:30:
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

This is exactly what is important to God for a man:
"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom;" Psalm 111:10

The Prov 31 woman is an ideal, that no woman can achieve, except the most important thing is that she fears the Lord!

Not talking about a name. But I dont believe scripture would describe something that is completely unachievable. If you dissect the qualities then especially in the Spirit I dont see how something is unachievable. If we go to scripture with the mindset that it is unachievable then what's the point?

 

[Moses_Young]

That’s not abuse, it’s assault. Abuse is like an abuse of power. You are controlling somebody because you are in perceived authority to do so. A manager yells at you and belittles you because it keeps you low and under control- abuse. Some jerk yells at you because you cut him off in traffic- assault. That’s the legal difference and what most people confuse.

Possibly in some jurisdictions, but I'd argue that is a misreading of the meaning of the two words, and therefore not so in most English-speaking jurisdictions.

"Generally, the essential elements of assault consist of an act intended to cause an apprehension of harmful or offensive contact that causes apprehension of such contact in the victim. The act required for an assault must be overt. Although words alone are insufficient, they might create an assault when coupled with some action that indicates the ability to carry out the threat."

Continual shouting at someone is almost certainly abuse. Dependent on the circumstances and whether or not physical harm was threatened, the situation might also constitute assault (e.g. the jerk who yelled at you, but then again, it might be argued his reaction was a reasonable response to you nearly killing him when you cut him off in traffic...).

 

[TheIndianGirl]

If a husband becomes frustrated and takes out his anger at/on his wife - would you use the word 'abuse' in that scenario?

No. If a working husband is frustrated at his housewife for not keeping the house tidy or preparing meals, that is is not abuse unless he is mean/nasty.

 

[1christian1]

No. If a working husband is frustrated at his housewife for not keeping the house tidy or preparing meals, that is is not abuse unless he is mean/nasty.

Spouses are supposed to be there for each other. To share in their pain and suffering. But after, I really think an apology would be necessary at the very least...

 

[1christian1]

Spouses are supposed to be there for each other. To share in their pain and suffering. But after, I really think an apology would be necessary at the very least...

I was fortunate, My wife always new what to say or do to make things good with me. She had a way to remind me that I worked to live, not lived to work. I was home. You know what I mean?...

 

[acts5_29]

Right now in today's culture, I basically feel the same as the Federal judge does in the US Women's Soccer Team lawsuit:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/evange...t-their-pay-discrimination-suit/#4e6570de2886

 

[1christian1]

Right now in today's culture, I basically feel the same as the Federal judge does in the US Women's Soccer Team lawsuit:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/evange...t-their-pay-discrimination-suit/#4e6570de2886

That you were home? Lol

 

[acts5_29]

The women are getting paid more than the men, but yet they STILL want to sue for "gender equality". How much more than the men do they need to get paid before they are "equal"?

 

[1christian1]

The women are getting paid more than the men, but yet they STILL want to sue for "gender equality". How much more than the men do they need to get paid before they are "equal"?

It's time to Man up! Show them what you are worth. You are a man. Right?...

 

[Angela53510]

Not talking about a name. But I dont believe scripture would describe something that is completely unachievable. If you dissect the qualities then especially in the Spirit I dont see how something is unachievable. If we go to scripture with the mindset that it is unachievable then what's the point?

The point is that it is a perfect model for us to look up to! None of us can come close to Christ. Does that mean we should remove him from the Bible?

Further, learn a bit about genre. Then you would understand that Proverbs are not true narratives. Just like parables in the NT are not real, but it was a common way to teach things, and we can learn so much from them. To say nothing of how often Jesus taught with parables.

I am not saying the Bible is lying, I am saying Proverbs 31 was not put there to be an example of a perfect woman. But rather to give us some goals to look at becoming, as Christian women.

Try reading "How to Read the Bible for all its Worth!" by Gordon Fee. It will introduce you to how to read the different kinds of writing, and where they come from.