Women Equality

[Roughsoul1991]

But of course, there should be an equality be in the treatment from man and woman.
Maby that this is not reality, has the reason in genesis 3. For a Christian Couple should ephesians 5 a good way how it can works in a marriage. In Gods eyes man and wife have the same worth,but different dutys. So like a Ship can not have 2 captains. In my understanding the man is given the responibility to Lead in a marriage. Thats means not to misuse this privilege! As I said, ephesians 5 Shows how it can works.

The role of leader Biblically is a sacrificial role. Put the troops first type of mindset. This is why leadership is often more difficult.

 

[Godsgirl83]

Sorry to hear. What part of the country are you talking about? Where I go to church, There are loving couples that really seem to be happy and committed.. But I live in a smaller town. Things are probably different...

the church I attended as a teen, right up until just before I got married was FULL of "loving couples", beautiful families, stay at home mama's, men with highly respected careers. They seemed to have it all together. I remember watching them and thinking "ah Lord, I want that....."
fast forward almost 20 years now.......
MOST of those seemingly "loving couples" are now divorced........

 

[Hungry]

the church I attended as a teen, right up until just before I got married was FULL of "loving couples", beautiful families, stay at home mama's, men with highly respected careers. They seemed to have it all together. I remember watching them and thinking "ah Lord, I want that....."
fast forward almost 20 years now.......
MOST of those seemingly "loving couples" are now divorced........

I don’t think it is a coincidence that is roughly around when the Internet became almost a household necessity. Men found a way to be sexually gratified through inconspicuously accessing pornography. Also women stopped seeking attention from their husbands and became obsessed with online socializing. Facebook in my opinion was the greatest wedge between a couple. With the simplicity of a “like” button, it fueled her addiction for acceptance.

 

[Moses_Young]

This is pretty funny. I did not know men were so weak.

Do you think it charitable to laugh at those less fortunate than you? Be grateful, rather, that God spares us from such circumstances.

 

[Moses_Young]

I think abusive is not the right word, but she may become frustrated and may take out her anger at him.

Lol. That is abuse, is it not? What do you think would happen if you tried that on a police officer? The first time, he might ask you to move on. Keep it up, though, and you'd be arrested.

Screaming or arguing with someone isn’t abuse.

Prolonged screaming/shouting is abusive. Especially if the screamed at or shouted at party has requested the screaming/shouting to cease.

 

[kaylagrl]

If you look up the legal definition for abuse, it’s more like manipulation. Most people confuse abuse with assault. Abuse can be as subtle as the silent treatment and include withholding needs like food. It generally includes that the abuser is using something to manipulate the abused to do something they wouldn’t normally do (not like homework). Screaming or arguing with someone isn’t abuse. Even telling them something like you are concerned about their weight isn’t abuse. But screaming at them and calling them names because they don’t want to watch what you want is.

Screaming and arguing with a spouse is abuse if it is constant and unabated. A normal couple can argue and even raise their voices from time to time and that's not an issue. But with some couples it is a constant thing. It's even more abusive if one person is doing the screaming. That is called emotional abuse. It's as wrong as hauling off and hitting a person.

 

[Hungry]

Lol. That is abuse, is it not? What do you think would happen if you tried that on a police officer? The first time, he might ask you to move on. Keep it up, though, and you'd be arrested.

Prolonged screaming/shouting is abusive. Especially if the screamed at or shouted at party has requested the screaming/shouting to cease.

That’s not abuse, it’s assault. Abuse is like an abuse of power. You are controlling somebody because you are in perceived authority to do so. A manager yells at you and belittles you because it keeps you low and under control- abuse. Some jerk yells at you because you cut him off in traffic- assault. That’s the legal difference and what most people confuse.

 

[Hungry]

Screaming and arguing with a spouse is abuse if it is constant and unabated. A normal couple can argue and even raise their voices from time to time and that's not an issue. But with some couples it is a constant thing. It's even more abusive if one person is doing the screaming. That is called emotional abuse. It's as wrong as hauling off and hitting a person.

No it’s not. Emotional abuse is a parent ignoring their child and belittling them because the child misbehaved. Even if the wife “misbehaves”, it is the using of emotions to control. Playing one child against the other, or a child against a parent to change a behaviour. It’s the same as using extreme violence to control someone. Forcing yourself on a spouse, or a child to show dominance- sexual abuse. To rape an unsuspecting victim for sexual pleasure- sexual assault. All sexual abuse is assault, not all assault is abuse.

 

[kaylagrl]

No it’s not. Emotional abuse is a parent ignoring their child and belittling them because the child misbehaved. Even if the wife “misbehaves”, it is the using of emotions to control. Playing one child against the other, or a child against a parent to change a behaviour. It’s the same as using extreme violence to control someone. Forcing yourself on a spouse, or a child to show dominance- sexual abuse. To rape an unsuspecting victim for sexual pleasure- sexual assault. All sexual abuse is assault, not all assault is abuse.

Signs of emotional abuse :

1.Control
2.Goading
3.Yelling
4.Intimidation
5.Contempt
6.Threats
7. Silent Treatment
8.Blame
9.Gaslighting
10.Isolation
11.Withholding
12.Guilt


All signs of emotional abuse according to experts.

 

[Hungry]

Signs of emotional abuse :

1.Control
2.Goading
3.Yelling
4.Intimidation
5.Contempt
6.Threats
7. Silent Treatment
8.Blame
9.Gaslighting
10.Isolation
11.Withholding
12.Guilt


All signs of emotional abuse according to experts.

I agree those are signs of emotional abuse. I looked it up before from a legal standpoint. If my wife didn’t like what I was saying she would call it emotional abuse. I did some research to (in)validate her claim. What I found stated basically what I am reporting. Just because she didn’t like what I was saying isn’t abuse, even if it caused her emotional pain. If I said anything to intentionally cause pain because I was upset with her that is abuse. Blame as you listed is a sign. If my wife runs up the credit cards on ridiculous unnecessary purchases and it causes economic stress, I can tell her it’s her fault. Is that abuse? If she feels guilty because of it (listed), is that abuse? If I yell at her because she tries to argue it’s not her fault (listed), then I take her off the credit account (withhold) and “control” the finances is that abuse? The point is that because of this list my wife may “feel” abused. It’s all just words anyways. Abuse has become some buzzword people throw around. It has legal value added to it so it should be understood. My child tried to threaten me before by saying, “I’m telling Mom and you’re going to be ‘in trouble’.” I corrected him. “Mom doesn’t have authority to punish me. She has the ability to give me grief, there’s a difference.” Wording is important.

 

[tourist]

I really am not intending to be unkind to you, but I am honestly shocked at the naivete of this question.

Unless, of course, you consider "being unfaithful" to include failure to pray for and edify their husbands, criticism, nagging, manipulation, undermining, backstabbing, gossip, passive-aggressive behaviour, disinterest in intimacy, unforgiveness, vindictiveness, laziness, dishonesty, disloyalty, removal of children, home, assets and income through the legal system, and a long list of other destructive behaviours.

You just described my ex in all respects from my first marraige many years ago.

 

[tourist]

the church I attended as a teen, right up until just before I got married was FULL of "loving couples", beautiful families, stay at home mama's, men with highly respected careers. They seemed to have it all together. I remember watching them and thinking "ah Lord, I want that....."
fast forward almost 20 years now.......
MOST of those seemingly "loving couples" are now divorced........

The key word was 'seemingly'. I guess that's how it was in the days of Leave It To Beaver. I just read yesterday that Ken Osmond who played the role of Eddie Haskel died yesterday. He was my favorite character from that show. I found him to be quite savvy, witty, and amusing.

 

[EleventhHour]

I really am not intending to be unkind to you, but I am honestly shocked at the naivete of this question.

Unless, of course, you consider "being unfaithful" to include failure to pray for and edify their husbands, criticism, nagging, manipulation, undermining, backstabbing, gossip, passive-aggressive behaviour, disinterest in intimacy, unforgiveness, vindictiveness, laziness, dishonesty, disloyalty, removal of children, home, assets and income through the legal system, and a long list of other destructive behaviours.

I understand completely what you are expressing here, and it makes me very sad to read this.
Our fallen nature is expressed differently in men and women ... that is my casual observation.

I really hate generalities ... but it does seem to me that men have far less complex emotional lives and some women too often live in a perennial state of dissatisfaction and then act out.

 

[presidente]

I’m not saying infidelity isn’t horrible but I think it depends how much your love is expressed through sexuality. Nobody wants to get cheated on but I think there are worse things. If my wife was tempted from some guy at work and they had an affair, I’d be upset sure. If I found out she was making fun of me and calling me a loser or something to my children I would be crushed. Maybe it just depends where your pride is, or where your insecurities are.

Both are terrible, but adultery is bad enough for Gid to have made it a death penalty crime in the Old Testament.

And if a man found out the kids his kids weren't his biological children, he might be more crushed.

 

[Dino246]

You just described my ex in all respects from my first marraige many years ago.

I didn't think we were married to the same woman... but perhaps.

 

[Roughsoul1991]

Proverbs 31:16 New International Version (NIV)
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

 

[tourist]

I didn't think we were married to the same woman... but perhaps.

Well, she has had at least 2 more husbands after me so perhaps this is so.

 

[tourist]

Proverbs 31:16 New International Version (NIV)
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

I guess she wore the pants in that family if she was allowed to wear such clothing. In reality such a woman does not exist and it would not be wise for a single man contemplating marriage to allow that proverb to set the bar in regards to the standards for a suitable wife.

 

[Dino246]

I understand completely what you are expressing here, and it makes me very sad to read this.
Our fallen nature is expressed differently in men and women ... that is my casual observation.

I really hate generalities ... but it does seem to me that men have far less complex emotional lives and some women too often live in a perennial state of dissatisfaction and then act out.

I agree with you aboutgeneralities. One thing I can say is that "hurting people hurt people"... and the consequent "hurtee" may not be the original "hurter".

Rather than pointing fingers at individuals who express their emotions in destructive ways, I think it's better to identify the behaviour as destructive (regardless of the degree or kind of destruction caused), and agree that it is unacceptable in the relationship no matter who is doing it. A couple can then work together to identify the cause of the behaviour and the solution.

 

[Dino246]

I guess she wore the pants in that family if she was allowed to wear such clothing. In reality such a woman does not exist and it would not be wise for a single man contemplating marriage to allow that proverb to set the bar in regards to the standards for a suitable wife.

It would be rather humorous if she turned tables on him and used the same standard: "If you ain't an elder at the gate, you ain't good enough fo' me!"