Sorry for that. That got dark real quick. Lol forgot what thread I was on.
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When it comes down to it. I think it is the unspoken words and gestures. Being on time, Opening a door. Wait until she is seated to sit. Making her feel that she is all that matters.
I kinda have a silly joke I heard on a video. “Hey there, are you an angel? Cuz I’m allergic to feathers.” I have a feeling someone who would be willing to date me would find that funny
Cool. cuz I've got wings, not feather's.. Lol...
C
CozHElivesIcanface2morrow
Guest
I'll do the same 
I do hear you. What I don't understand is what has happened to dating. In my 20s, you met someone and they asked you out. As a woman I would put on my best clothes, do my hair and go out with a happy attitude. You put your best foot forward and both people tried to show what they had to offer. You talked about your faith, your hobbies, your dreams and you would get a read on the sort of person they were. The fellows I met were gentlemen and in return you appreciated their courtesy.
Now it seems like people have gone from "What's your sign?" to "What's your self-help group?". One of my friends does a lot of dating and it sounds like people bring all their old laundry and grievances and dump it on the other person by way of introduction. This friend told me that one fellow, within the first couple of minutes told her that his father had never loved him. What? How is that a conversation opener?
@1christian1 I am so sorry you have met these women who are looking for a free therapist. I think there is a twisted idea that dumping your grievances on someone is "being real". I promise you that there are good godly women who have grace and humour. No one has the right to make you feel like you should pay the price for someone else's bad behaviour. You sounds like a gentleman. I know I have many friends who are lovely ladies. I will pray that the right one in your area help change your mind.
Look at me. Opening up to people like this. I think we just became best friends. Lol...
I do hear you. What I don't understand is what has happened to dating. In my 20s, you met someone and they asked you out. As a woman I would put on my best clothes, do my hair and go out with a happy attitude. You put your best foot forward and both people tried to show what they had to offer. You talked about your faith, your hobbies, your dreams and you would get a read on the sort of person they were. The fellows I met were gentlemen and in return you appreciated their courtesy.
Now it seems like people have gone from "What's your sign?" to "What's your self-help group?". One of my friends does a lot of dating and it sounds like people bring all their old laundry and grievances and dump it on the other person by way of introduction. This friend told me that one fellow, within the first couple of minutes told her that his father had never loved him. What? How is that a conversation opener?
@1christian1 I am so sorry you have met these women who are looking for a free therapist. I think there is a twisted idea that dumping your grievances on someone is "being real". I promise you that there are good godly women who have grace and humour. No one has the right to make you feel like you should pay the price for someone else's bad behaviour. You sounds like a gentleman. I know I have many friends who are lovely ladies. I will pray that the right one in your area help change your mind.
Or maybe Your friend's date saw it in a movie thought it might work. Lol. People just don't try anymore...
I do hear you. What I don't understand is what has happened to dating. In my 20s, you met someone and they asked you out. As a woman I would put on my best clothes, do my hair and go out with a happy attitude. You put your best foot forward and both people tried to show what they had to offer. You talked about your faith, your hobbies, your dreams and you would get a read on the sort of person they were. The fellows I met were gentlemen and in return you appreciated their courtesy.
Now it seems like people have gone from "What's your sign?" to "What's your self-help group?". One of my friends does a lot of dating and it sounds like people bring all their old laundry and grievances and dump it on the other person by way of introduction. This friend told me that one fellow, within the first couple of minutes told her that his father had never loved him. What? How is that a conversation opener?
@1christian1 I am so sorry you have met these women who are looking for a free therapist. I think there is a twisted idea that dumping your grievances on someone is "being real". I promise you that there are good godly women who have grace and humour. No one has the right to make you feel like you should pay the price for someone else's bad behaviour. You sounds like a gentleman. I know I have many friends who are lovely ladies. I will pray that the right one in your area help change your mind.
I think the main thing that happened to dating is we became much more of a co-ed / sexually mixed (and mixed up) culture. When I'm around and interacting with multiple men all day every day at school and at my job (for like literally my whole life because I was lucky enough to be born in the generation that was integrated but still knew that girls were girls and boys were boys) there's plenty of chance to start getting to know them without anyone asking anyone else out. And so dating kind of changed from being about going on an actual date (event) with a person you wanted to get to know better to becoming a change in relationship status or type of relationship or activities you might do together. And so it seems (to someone without much experience of dating or rather to someone with the experience of ok this friendship is getting closer than most friendships and affecting me more on an emotional level than average but we're not dating because we've never said so so there's no intention of going that way) that dating has become much more about selfish fulfillment and sex (or rather long term sex with some sort of togetherness because there are people desperate, foolish, and shortsighted enough to have these things like one night stands and friends with benefits arrangements which are sex but not dating) than about forming a lasting relationship or commitment to another person. I'll never forget the one professor in college challenging us all with the idea of so somewhere between dating and marriage we have this idea we call "a committed relationship" but what exactly does that entail and where are the boundaries that make it different from dating and different from marriage. If there were any answers I don't remember them, just the question lingering of so how committed really is a committed relationship.
And because I like thinking about and talking about such things is why I'll probably never have one of those first dates, because I'm kind of convinced I'd have it in me to be a good spouse if I chose to be, but I'd be either boring or a mental workout as a date.
S
Susanna
Guest
I do hear you. What I don't understand is what has happened to dating. In my 20s, you met someone and they asked you out. As a woman I would put on my best clothes, do my hair and go out with a happy attitude. You put your best foot forward and both people tried to show what they had to offer. You talked about your faith, your hobbies, your dreams and you would get a read on the sort of person they were. The fellows I met were gentlemen and in return you appreciated their courtesy.
Now it seems like people have gone from "What's your sign?" to "What's your self-help group?". One of my friends does a lot of dating and it sounds like people bring all their old laundry and grievances and dump it on the other person by way of introduction. This friend told me that one fellow, within the first couple of minutes told her that his father had never loved him. What? How is that a conversation opener?
@1christian1 I am so sorry you have met these women who are looking for a free therapist. I think there is a twisted idea that dumping your grievances on someone is "being real". I promise you that there are good godly women who have grace and humour. No one has the right to make you feel like you should pay the price for someone else's bad behaviour. You sounds like a gentleman. I know I have many friends who are lovely ladies. I will pray that the right one in your area help change your mind.
This made my day. Thanks for writing this.
I think the dating thing is a reflection of society. People are more obsessed with themselves and their own problems than presenting a nice version of themselves for their date.
Maybe they are used to not taking responsibility, which is a red flag, or they simply engage in behavior that comes naturally to them. Which is also a red flag.
R
Ruby123
Guest
We used to have a show exactly likr that here in the states. It was so funny and one of my favorite shows!
Whoops I got the name wrong. It is not called Blind dates but First Dates. Anyway this particular episode a lady with tourette syndrome went on it. I am so happy that her date went well.
https://7plus.com.au › first-dates-australia
If you want a good laugh, check out the episode I posted. The guy thinks he's like Jesus lol.
R
Ruby123
Guest
I'll check it out later this evening as it is 2pm here. The episode I posted had me cringing. Agghhh the awkwardness and the things people say.
I do hear you. What I don't understand is what has happened to dating. In my 20s, you met someone and they asked you out. As a woman I would put on my best clothes, do my hair and go out with a happy attitude. You put your best foot forward and both people tried to show what they had to offer. You talked about your faith, your hobbies, your dreams and you would get a read on the sort of person they were. The fellows I met were gentlemen and in return you appreciated their courtesy.
Now it seems like people have gone from "What's your sign?" to "What's your self-help group?". One of my friends does a lot of dating and it sounds like people bring all their old laundry and grievances and dump it on the other person by way of introduction. This friend told me that one fellow, within the first couple of minutes told her that his father had never loved him. What? How is that a conversation opener?
@1christian1 I am so sorry you have met these women who are looking for a free therapist. I think there is a twisted idea that dumping your grievances on someone is "being real". I promise you that there are good godly women who have grace and humour. No one has the right to make you feel like you should pay the price for someone else's bad behaviour. You sounds like a gentleman. I know I have many friends who are lovely ladies. I will pray that the right one in your area help change your mind.
You know women, Like where I live??? Lol. And thanks...
R
Ruby123
Guest
Haha, I remember that thread.We’ve had this thread about what not to say on your first date, but let’s turn the tables and chew a little on what you actually should say on your first date with that butterfly filled tummy of yours.
The floor is yours, people, and I want to hear millions of poetic ways of whispering sweet little things into your dates ears.
Remember, flattery is mandatory.
"I like the skin that covers your face. It looks really nice."
This is odd to me. You obviously want the other person to like you, but why not just be yourself? Be sincere in who you are. Of course you want to look dapper, or in the case of a woman beautiful, but this is something I myself had to realize by revelation of the Lord. There is no fear in love. You have to be you, and it’s okay to have opinions, it’s okay to be your authentic self and that other person by God’s providence will love you for you.
Putting your best foot forward shouldn’t be putting on a show or a mask; as if this is the wooing phase and you want them to like you, so you act courteous. You act respectful. You act mannerly. You act lady-like. You put on a facade and then once the knot is tied, you be your regular self and people are disappointed because the expectation they have of you is the “best foot forward” guy or gal you presented yourself as.
If putting your best foot forward was just putting yourself out there, think how such transparency would affect people. Flattery is not righteous, compliments are by the way ( for those saying they wouldn’t mind some flattery). Flattery is with a means in mind, the examples (of flattery) in God’s word do not seem to look positively on its use. A compliment, on the other hand, is sincere.
Yet even better than a compliment is encouragement.
I don’t know, I read your posts and this stuck out to me. Your best foot forward should be yourself. I get “dressing up” as it fits the occasion. But casual you or dressy you, is still you. Your character stays the same. Don’t play the part of gentleman if you do not walk daily as a gentleman. Consideration is a daily practice, a selfless inquiry to the needs and desires of another; not peacocking to attract a mate.
Be you.