Thank you for those encouraging words but i feel like its not only that ive messed up so much i need a heart change ive cried a lot to the lord to help me change. I am scared that i am done in other words that My time is almost up
You cannot do it. I cannot do it. We must let Him do 100% of it. Only by His precious blood can we be made clean. We cannot be perfect. All He requires is a heart-felt 'want-to'. Don't follow your feelings. Follow the beautiful truth of God's Word. Whenever you mess up, just have a little talk with Jesus. Just maintain a humble heart towards Him.
James 4:10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.