I'm sorry that you're struggling with these feelings.
I have struggled with depression too, and I have tried to kill myself twice.
So I know exactly what you're going through.
I would suggest developing a thick skin if you're going to talk about self-harm on CC; you may get many tell you that you are sinful, but few will offer a kind word.
I would suggest that you seek professional help, if you are able.
Either way, feel free to message me whenever you like