I am tending to as one would say stray from the path. My friend died recently and they weren’t religious, it’s made me take a step back and look and I realized god is lazy and and cruel. I sit here on earth as past family members and friends burn in hell, tortured for all eternity because god needs his ego stroked to give you a ticket to heaven
The shed blood of Jesus dying on the cross for confessed sins is a sufficient enough price for entrance into heaven.
I will say a prayer for your family members and friends for their salvation. Being religious has nothing to do with salvation.
Instead of taking a step back pray for God to allow you to take a step forward in faith.
Fortunately, God's character is not predicated on your belief that He is lazy and cruel. God understands the human condition quite well and fully understands how your attitude towards Him was formed. Just keep in mind that in 1 John 4:8 it states that
God is Love. Whatever you believe about God should start with that realization and proceed from there.
It's better to believe the truth in the Word of God than the lies of the devil. Jesus will set you free if that is truly your desire.
The choice is yours and yours alone.