Dissociative Identity Disorder (formerly Multiple Personality Disorder) and Faith.

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Feb 22, 2020
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#21
do you know the names of the others? how many are there?
Eight active alters, plus some dormant and some partially formed alters, who exist for one purpose, generally to hold one particular trauma memory. I don't know how many of those there are. I know the names of the other seven active alters, and we know each other fairly well.
 
Feb 22, 2020
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#22
But, how does that work? How do you "find" them? How do they "appear"?

Why do you call it an 'imaginary' space?
It's an imaginary space because it isn't technically real. It's in our head. Just like if you had a "happy place" or something that you imagined, only it is extremely vivid and feels very real to us. It's more metaphorical and vague than the external world, but to us it feels completely real. Like if you're dreaming and the world you're in defies physics in some way but it makes complete sense to you at the time. It's consistent in its structure, a building with an office and lounge going into a hallway, a dormitory building, a tent, a garden, a swing set, duck pond, underground caves, a forest containing old cottages and a river. It's where we go when we're not in front, and we have lives there, we interact like neighbours would, we eat, we sleep. In some systems they might have jobs and families in the inner world. It functions as a space to communicate, as we're not very good with communication in other ways such as "sending" each other our thoughts quite yet.

They appear in the forest usually, either literally popping into existence or coming out of the caves if they're coming out of dormancy, and I'll be sent to go and find them and make sure they're ok and that they understand what's happening.
 
Jun 10, 2019
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#23
Eight active alters, plus some dormant and some partially formed alters, who exist for one purpose, generally to hold one particular trauma memory. I don't know how many of those there are. I know the names of the other seven active alters, and we know each other fairly well.
I know of trauma also your not alone on that.
 
Jun 10, 2019
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#27
The trauma belongs to you,
 

GaryA

Truth, Honesty, Love, Courage
Aug 10, 2019
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#28
They appear in the forest usually, either literally popping into existence or coming out of the caves if they're coming out of dormancy, and I'll be sent to go and find them and make sure they're ok and that they understand what's happening.
Who sends you?
 
P

pottersclay

Guest
#30
Well Ava I can only tell you Jesus deals with the heart and not the mind.
We have a wonderful and just God who knows you infirmities. May he heal you according to his will and purpose.
 
7

7seasrekeyed

Guest
#33
Ava, many people have suffered such trauma and can be helped through counseling, and prayer teamwork. But, something like that requires trained and experienced Christian counseling. You are one spiritual being, not many, and you are whole in Christ. The things you are saying, may or may not represent reality as God sees you. The Lord is shepherd of souls, and knows where all the pieces of the puzzle are and where they need to be. One command of Christ, such as "be whole.". Made by the right Christian leader or team can restore you to who you already are.

One time in my youth, a coffee cup with my sisters name on it broke into many pieces. As a sign of my enduring love for a dear sister, inspite of our differences, I fastened each piece, dozens of them back together, and handed her the whole cup to her total amazement!

One name. Dozens of scattered ceramics. Restored whole to the same earthen vessel.

That was a sign from God of what divine intervention can do to restore each person whole.
In Jesus Name.
May this be so for all who read this according to the will of God.

this is a beautiful illustration
 

exegete

Active member
Dec 23, 2018
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My Tiny Apartment
#34
I have a co-worker whose mother is currently suffering from the same type of condition. Not only DID but paranoid schizophrenia as well. This post is very timely for me. I appreciate you coming forward and brining more of this situation to light.

Praying that you may find Hope and the Answer here.
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
25,602
13,861
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#35
Hello friends :)

My name is Ava, and I am a member of what's known as a Dissociative Identity Disorder system. This means I am one of multiple people, known as alters, who exist within this body. This can only occur when a child experiences ongoing and extreme trauma, and the brain fragments into separate identities, with separate memories and attributes, as a protective measure. We can each control the body at various times. We have different names, genders, sexualities, interests, glasses prescriptions, reactions to medications, dominant hands, allergies, and beliefs. Obviously we aren't literally different people, we are manifestations of the needs of one brain, but to us it feels like we are different people, so I refer to us as such.

I am what's known as an emotional protector and a caretaker. I look after the wellbeing of the other alters, I take care of the body when the host (the one who fronts the most) is unable to, I look after any alters who are struggling, I act as a parent to child alters and I front to calm the system down in situations of high stress or when the others are struggling with trauma.

I am not the "main" alter. If an original exists I am not it. I in fact did not exist as an alter until fairly recently in comparison to the rest of the system (once the brain has learned to split in childhood, it can continue to do so even into adulthood in response to new traumas). I am, however, the only currently active alter who is Christian. The rest range from disinterest to active dislike of Christianity, especially as some hold memories of trauma perpetuated by religious institutions or by people wielding religion as a weapon. I do not know what occurred, but I am told it was bad enough that simply being in a church or being ministered to will trigger flashbacks.

My question is this: what happens when we die? Do we all go to hell, because the others reject God? Do we all go to heaven, pulled there by my faith? Might we have separate souls, and each go to heaven or hell accordingly?

Note: I am happy to answer any questions you may have in regards to DID or our system.

Note 2: I am not looking for medical advice, so please do not try to tell me how to "cure" DID. Full integration is not an option for us and is generally considered unsafe. Any comments referring to us as demons will be ignored. Converting the others is not really an option here, when I try it triggers flashbacks.

Thank you and God bless you for any perspectives you can give :)
Thanks for sharing. I'm not sure if I have anything helpful to offer other than a listening ear, but I appreciated reading your introduction. What little I know of DID is consistent with what you have shared. I have personal experience with others who have suffered with depression, BPD, and some other mental health challenges. There are no easy answers.

I can't answer your question on God's behalf, but I can say with confidence that He is good and just. He knows your situation, and you can put your trust fully in Him, even while you wonder about the answers to your questions. :)
 

know1

Senior Member
Aug 27, 2012
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#36
Hello friends :)

My name is Ava, and I am a member of what's known as a Dissociative Identity Disorder system. This means I am one of multiple people, known as alters, who exist within this body. This can only occur when a child experiences ongoing and extreme trauma, and the brain fragments into separate identities, with separate memories and attributes, as a protective measure. We can each control the body at various times. We have different names, genders, sexualities, interests, glasses prescriptions, reactions to medications, dominant hands, allergies, and beliefs. Obviously we aren't literally different people, we are manifestations of the needs of one brain, but to us it feels like we are different people, so I refer to us as such.

I am what's known as an emotional protector and a caretaker. I look after the wellbeing of the other alters, I take care of the body when the host (the one who fronts the most) is unable to, I look after any alters who are struggling, I act as a parent to child alters and I front to calm the system down in situations of high stress or when the others are struggling with trauma.

I am not the "main" alter. If an original exists I am not it. I in fact did not exist as an alter until fairly recently in comparison to the rest of the system (once the brain has learned to split in childhood, it can continue to do so even into adulthood in response to new traumas). I am, however, the only currently active alter who is Christian. The rest range from disinterest to active dislike of Christianity, especially as some hold memories of trauma perpetuated by religious institutions or by people wielding religion as a weapon. I do not know what occurred, but I am told it was bad enough that simply being in a church or being ministered to will trigger flashbacks.

My question is this: what happens when we die? Do we all go to hell, because the others reject God? Do we all go to heaven, pulled there by my faith? Might we have separate souls, and each go to heaven or hell accordingly?

Note: I am happy to answer any questions you may have in regards to DID or our system.

Note 2: I am not looking for medical advice, so please do not try to tell me how to "cure" DID. Full integration is not an option for us and is generally considered unsafe. Any comments referring to us as demons will be ignored. Converting the others is not really an option here, when I try it triggers flashbacks.

Thank you and God bless you for any perspectives you can give :)
Years ago, there was a doctor of something who dealt with people such as yourself and wrote an e-book called "The Shining Man".
One of the few books I have read through. Fascinating read, as is reading your take on things.
I thought I saved it on my computer, but I couldn't find it.
But before I read his book, I had this desire to know how man was made.
At that time, God started to talk to me about how we are made, both telling me things and leading me in scripture.
And after learning some things, I started discerning the different voices I was hearing from. Such as that of the heart and that of the spirit man. The voice of the soul is you consciously speaking to yourself. Your heart tells you things you already know and your spirit man tells you things you don't yet know. Like knowing what a person is both thinking [saying to themselves] and feeling, without them telling you. That came from the spirit man.
There is much I missed, and failed to understand, especially about the spirit man, but I will give you the short version, for brevity, of some of the things I was told, shown and come to understand, minus the scripture verses, because it gets quite detailed and somewhat complex, for me anyway.
Very few people seem to be able to even comprehend the fact that we have more than one person or being abiding in us, but scripture teaches otherwise.
On the contrary, scripture teaches that we have both good and bad spirits in each of us, and are influenced by the dominate spirit at particular moments.
From what I can tell, no one spirit rules all the time.
One things I learn was, that which rules the heart, controls the person at that time.
For as the spirit is in the man, so is the man, and as a man thinks in his heart, so is he, and the spirits are the ones who give us our thoughts, both the good ones and the bad.
One of the things I was shown was that we are made, not only like God, where we have more than one being in us, but also like the temple of God in the old testament.
It had an outer court, a door attached to the perimeter wall, an inner court, and another structure within the inner court. And this structure was divided into two parts. One of which was reserved for the Holy Spirit, known as the Holy of Holies.
The outer court, which is, I believe, where all the decisions were made, represents the physical brain and conscious soul of the person. The outer part of the walls of the temple is the physical body, while the inner part is the body of the heart, also known as the heart of flesh. The second person of our triune being. The inner court is the hidden man, spoken of in the bible. Also known as the heart. This second man/person within us, can and does hear, speak, see, feel, thinks, and gets emotional.
And within this second man is another being, called the spirit man. Which is the third person of our triune being. And of which is the structure within the inner court, subdivided into two parts. This spirit man also hears, speaks, sees, feels, thinks, and gets emotional, just like the heart. Now within the spirit man are many other spirit being, I believe, such as yourself, who again, hears, speaks, sees, feels, thinks, and gets emotional, just like the heart and soul of the person does. These spirit affect both the thought and actions of the person. Some of these spirits are good and some are bad. This goes for those who are born again children of God, as well. We have both good and bad spirits in us. Most Christians don't believe that.
These spirits are NOT angels and/or demons, but seeds, with intelligence. Another word for seed is, offspring, which is a child of something. Keep in mind, everything and every person produce after their own kind. A stalk of corn produce corn seed or offspring after their own kind, as do humans, animals, and SPIRITS.
Jesus said, "either make the tree good and his fruit will be good, or else make the tree corrupt and his fruit will be corrupt, for a tree is known by his fruit.
Almost all of what I have said thus far I can backup with scripture, but as I stated above, it is lengthy and complex. But if you ever want to know the scriptures that I got this from, because God ALWAYS backed up everything He told me with scripture, I would be more than happy to go over them with you.
Knowing the truth is important to me, so I wanted to know what God had to say about this subject in the bible, because to me, the bible is truth.
When a person is born again, they do NOT receive Jesus and Holy Spirit themselves, but a seed or offspring of and from both, the flesh and blood of Jesus, respectively, via the word the person received in their heart. That word, is a seed/offspring/SPIRIT, both of and from God, but is NOT God Himself, like many think.
Both God and the devil increase through words received. Many words/programmed spirits, are created and received through or via experiences. They come to us as thoughts. If we receive these thoughts due to an experience, then we are, or eventually become, what we received. Like the ordained Baptist preacher and His wife who turned atheist due to, according to this man, his dying three time, and the last time was for an hour and 15 minutes. Without any brain damage, mind you. If he was dead that long, then not having any brain damage was a miracle in itself.
He told me, all he saw was blackness, and therefore, both he and his wife rejected the truth of the bible and Christ. All because he believed his experiences over the word of God.
 

know1

Senior Member
Aug 27, 2012
3,100
180
63
#37
Years ago, there was a doctor of something who dealt with people such as yourself and wrote an e-book called "The Shining Man".
One of the few books I have read through. Fascinating read, as is reading your take on things.
I thought I saved it on my computer, but I couldn't find it.
But before I read his book, I had this desire to know how man was made.
At that time, God started to talk to me about how we are made, both telling me things and leading me in scripture.
And after learning some things, I started discerning the different voices I was hearing from. Such as that of the heart and that of the spirit man. The voice of the soul is you consciously speaking to yourself. Your heart tells you things you already know and your spirit man tells you things you don't yet know. Like knowing what a person is both thinking [saying to themselves] and feeling, without them telling you. That came from the spirit man.
There is much I missed, and failed to understand, especially about the spirit man, but I will give you the short version, for brevity, of some of the things I was told, shown and come to understand, minus the scripture verses, because it gets quite detailed and somewhat complex, for me anyway.
Very few people seem to be able to even comprehend the fact that we have more than one person or being abiding in us, but scripture teaches otherwise.
On the contrary, scripture teaches that we have both good and bad spirits in each of us, and are influenced by the dominate spirit at particular moments.
From what I can tell, no one spirit rules all the time.
One things I learn was, that which rules the heart, controls the person at that time.
For as the spirit is in the man, so is the man, and as a man thinks in his heart, so is he, and the spirits are the ones who give us our thoughts, both the good ones and the bad.
One of the things I was shown was that we are made, not only like God, where we have more than one being in us, but also like the temple of God in the old testament.
It had an outer court, a door attached to the perimeter wall, an inner court, and another structure within the inner court. And this structure was divided into two parts. One of which was reserved for the Holy Spirit, known as the Holy of Holies.
The outer court, which is, I believe, where all the decisions were made, represents the physical brain and conscious soul of the person. The outer part of the walls of the temple is the physical body, while the inner part is the body of the heart, also known as the heart of flesh. The second person of our triune being. The inner court is the hidden man, spoken of in the bible. Also known as the heart. This second man/person within us, can and does hear, speak, see, feel, thinks, and gets emotional.
And within this second man is another being, called the spirit man. Which is the third person of our triune being. And of which is the structure within the inner court, subdivided into two parts. This spirit man also hears, speaks, sees, feels, thinks, and gets emotional, just like the heart. Now within the spirit man are many other spirit being, I believe, such as yourself, who again, hears, speaks, sees, feels, thinks, and gets emotional, just like the heart and soul of the person does. These spirit affect both the thought and actions of the person. Some of these spirits are good and some are bad. This goes for those who are born again children of God, as well. We have both good and bad spirits in us. Most Christians don't believe that.
These spirits are NOT angels and/or demons, but seeds, with intelligence. Another word for seed is, offspring, which is a child of something. Keep in mind, everything and every person produce after their own kind. A stalk of corn produce corn seed or offspring after their own kind, as do humans, animals, and SPIRITS.
Jesus said, "either make the tree good and his fruit will be good, or else make the tree corrupt and his fruit will be corrupt, for a tree is known by his fruit.
Almost all of what I have said thus far I can backup with scripture, but as I stated above, it is lengthy and complex. But if you ever want to know the scriptures that I got this from, because God ALWAYS backed up everything He told me with scripture, I would be more than happy to go over them with you.
Knowing the truth is important to me, so I wanted to know what God had to say about this subject in the bible, because to me, the bible is truth.
When a person is born again, they do NOT receive Jesus and Holy Spirit themselves, but a seed or offspring of and from both, the flesh and blood of Jesus, respectively, via the word the person received in their heart. That word, is a seed/offspring/SPIRIT, both of and from God, but is NOT God Himself, like many think.
Both God and the devil increase through words received. Many words/programmed spirits, are created and received through or via experiences. They come to us as thoughts. If we receive these thoughts due to an experience, then we are, or eventually become, what we received. Like the ordained Baptist preacher and His wife who turned atheist due to, according to this man, his dying three time, and the last time was for an hour and 15 minutes. Without any brain damage, mind you. If he was dead that long, then not having any brain damage was a miracle in itself.
He told me, all he saw was blackness, and therefore, both he and his wife rejected the truth of the bible and Christ. All because he believed his experiences over the word of God.
If you are born again, then you will go to heaven with the person as a whole, but, I believe, meaning, I don't know for certain, not all of you will go to heaven with the person, if you don't mind my putting it that way.
New spirits are created all the time. Some good and some not so good, and within every person are both good and bad seeds as well. The good seed is of and from God, and the bad seed is of and from the devil. Again, these are not angels or demons.
Every Christian will tell you, when we are born into this world, we are born with a SIN NATURE. This sin nature is there because of the seed within the spirit man of the person, when they are born.
When the bible says no man is without sin, but all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, the word sin, is literally a spirit of and from the devil, and is not the actual deed. And this spirit of sin causes us to be like it, even as God causes the born again to be like Him by His spirit or seed within us.
When we receive the righteous nature of God, it will be because we have received the seed of and from God within our spirit man, which is within the heart of the man/person, and we do not get that righteous nature until we receive Christ through the gospel of salvation.
According to scripture, all abilities and inabilities, thoughts and desires, come from spirits within our spirit man, which talks to and affects us through the heart, which in turn either overrides our soul and affects our outward actions, or influences the thoughts, actions, and desires of the soul, or conscious part, of the person.
Again, all strengths, enablements, and abilities, whether they be physical, mental, or spiritual, come from the spirit within each person. They even affect our desires and the intent of the heart, and can give us physical strengths.
For example, a prophet is able to prophesy, only because of the spirit in him. Remove the spirit of prophecy or divination, and the man will NOT be able to prophesy or divine. That goes for both the good and the bad. Like the spirit Paul cast out of the girl. She was able to divine for people until the spirit was cast out of her.
Sorry for my lack of knowledge and understanding of your condition. It is very limited, as there is still much I do not yet understand, yet it is indeed fascinating at the same time.
 
Feb 22, 2020
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#38
I know they hold it, have you tried holding it
It doesn't work like that. We can't choose to have those memories. They get assigned. I was assigned to be an ANP, or Apparently Normal Part, as opposed to an Emotional Part. I could not perform my role, which is to calm us down particularly in the event of being triggered, correctly if I carried trauma.
 

Angela53510

Senior Member
Jan 24, 2011
11,786
2,959
113
#40
Ava, many people have suffered such trauma and can be helped through counseling, and prayer teamwork. But, something like that requires trained and experienced Christian counseling. You are one spiritual being, not many, and you are whole in Christ. The things you are saying, may or may not represent reality as God sees you. The Lord is shepherd of souls, and knows where all the pieces of the puzzle are and where they need to be. One command of Christ, such as "be whole.". Made by the right Christian leader or team can restore you to who you already are.

One time in my youth, a coffee cup with my sisters name on it broke into many pieces. As a sign of my enduring love for a dear sister, inspite of our differences, I fastened each piece, dozens of them back together, and handed her the whole cup to her total amazement!

One name. Dozens of scattered ceramics. Restored whole to the same earthen vessel.

That was a sign from God of what divine intervention can do to restore each person whole.
In Jesus Name.
May this be so for all who read this according to the will of God.
Your best post ever! I hope she understands! Thanks for sharing!