Online Dating 101

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Phenom1960

Guest
#21
Me? I'm talking about what I've heard others say, so why are you saying I'm looking in the wrong places? I'm arguing Against the claim. You may need to reread my post.
Sorry! I misunderstood what I read.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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#22
Online dating is the modern day equivalent of mail order brides.

I'm a librarian, I do cataloguing as part. of my job. Most of the time, books are easy to catalogue cos the title tells you what its about...mostly. But we also need to categorise the books using subject headings etc.
We put all this information into a catalogue and they have been online accesible now for decades. If you go look for a book, you can even see the book covers for most books, but people dont typically search by looking at the covers.

Im just saying ok...if you are looking, you really need to have an idea what you are looking for not just what the cover looks like. Im gonna think you are real odd if you come up to me at the desk and say I want a blue book. Plus, books get published with different covers all the time, even the same titles.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#23
Im going to be radical and say if you are looking for someone, why not put in a search for a name you like the sound of. After all, you are going to be calling this person by this name a lot.

I wonder if people have had this experience of dating only people called..,James. That would be interesting. I only date James ok. if thats too narrow then just men whos names start with J.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,725
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#25
Im just saying ok...if you are looking, you really need to have an idea what you are looking for not just what the cover looks like. Im gonna think you are real odd if you come up to me at the desk and say I want a blue book. Plus, books get published with different covers all the time, even the same titles.
Im going to be radical and say if you are looking for someone, why not put in a search for a name you like the sound of. After all, you are going to be calling this person by this name a lot.

I wonder if people have had this experience of dating only people called..,James. That would be interesting. I only date James ok. if thats too narrow then just men whos names start with J.
Wait, don't these two statements contradict each other?

Besides, as far as I can tell names are rarely used between husband and wife. Honey, dear, darling, there's a lot of other names they call each other, but couples don't usually default to each other's given name.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,436
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#27
Wait, don't these two statements contradict each other?

Besides, as far as I can tell names are rarely used between husband and wife. Honey, dear, darling, there's a lot of other names they call each other, but couples don't usually default to each other's given name.
Well there was that play about wanting to marry someone named Earnest. "The importance of being Earnest" wherin one of the main characters realizes that in all his lies he's really been telling the truth.
 
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Phenom1960

Guest
#28
It is very important for couples to tell the truth and not keep secrets.
In the area of romance, some secrets are and should be allowed.
Love, faithfulness, honesty, and integrity should be protected and maintained along with open communication.
 

love_comes_softly

Well-known member
Feb 13, 2019
768
823
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#29
Now if we can actually find God fearing blessed women, who aren't narcissist or aspirational, then we could all start finding a life long partner. Until then I am staying single and free. They just aren't out there anymore

I think this statement says a lot about the person saying it, regardless of whether it's a male or female.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#30
I think this statement says a lot about the person saying it, regardless of whether it's a male or female.
um what do you mean? Maybe he really cant find anyone or just not looking hard enough. Hard to find aomeone if you are housebound or maybe theres only one church in the entire town and everyone there is already married. I dont know.

Or maybe he lives in Hollywood or something. I think online dating websites are where people tend to be narcissist or aspirational because people that use them are younger and have to describe themselves etc.

People actually do lie online /are deceptive am sorry to say. A lot of them are where scammers operate. Its like having a matchmaking service right next to a porn shop. or sponsored by one. um no.

I dont think anyones really safe on them, even the paid ones. I mean even CC, God forbid, people have had problems with stalkers.

although I do think people need to revise what they mean with God fearing. if someone wants God fearing, go on Jdate.
 
Feb 8, 2020
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#31
The first rule to remember is that we live in a fallen world. Take great care before you decide to meet any man or woman for the first time.
Verify the person's photos BEFORE you decide to start talking to them! DON'T ASSUME ANYTHING!
Use TinEye and Bing search. Better to be safe than sorry!
Pray, pray, pray for God's best for you!
Your profile isn't just about you or your personality, it's also about what you expect from the person you want to meet as well as what your personal boundaries are and what attracts you to the man/woman that you are hoping to find. BE PICKY!
Beware of people using photos that don't match their age!
ALWAYS meet in a public place for your first meeting and (for you women) make sure you have a lifeline in place to help you bail if you feel uncomfortable at all during your meeting.
Men and women should tell their friends where they are going and what time they expect to return.
After you feel comfortable with the person you've met is the time to relax.
Be willing to pray for each other when you start talking, while you're apart, and when you meet and when you end your evening. Keep your relationship lifted before God and under His covering!
Remember that breakups may hurt but always learn from your mistakes! Remember that it's the Lord you serve and that He is your fortress and your shield (Psalm 27).
Men, don't be afraid to use your imagination when it comes to romancing her and winning her heart! Candles, soft music, and good food are a great setting, but also remember the little things like complimenting something about her looks, how she's dressed, how she wears her hair, the color of her fingernails, etc. (Also, do the unexpected: take charge and clean up after the meal; if she's had a rough day, offer to wash her feet. Don't shy away from her wanting to return the favor!)
Also, communication about everything is key to a good, solid relationship. Be honest! Be transparent! Let each other know how you feel about each other!
When you include the Lord in all your activities be prepared to be blessed!
Seek the Lord and seek to honor Him in all you do!
Remember, the joy of the Lord is your strength!
Amen.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
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#32
before internet was an everyday thing, people would put ads in the newspapers personal column. They did not even have a photo.
They could only describe themselves in short sentences cos you had to pay for each word. It really was like a blind date. I dont think they even had names or avatar things but just a special number you could call like a voicemail not your personal phone number.

they would say stuff like GSH meaning good state of health, and other abbreviations that nobody usues anymore.
 

KhedetOrthos

Active member
Dec 13, 2019
284
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#33
When i used to hang around in yahoo chat years ago i remember this one female said she had an E-baby with a guy she was dating online. She then made one of her younger online friends that baby, and the guy had to babysit, things got really weird.
 
Feb 8, 2020
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#34
before internet was an everyday thing, people would put ads in the newspapers personal column. They did not even have a photo.
They could only describe themselves in short sentences cos you had to pay for each word. It really was like a blind date. I dont think they even had names or avatar things but just a special number you could call like a voicemail not your personal phone number.

they would say stuff like GSH meaning good state of health, and other abbreviations that nobody usues anymore.
agree
 

laughingheart

Senior Member
Sep 21, 2016
1,709
1,669
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#35
OK, I am going to ask. What in the world is wrong with being aspirational? All people needs hopes and dreams. Having goals, things to aspire to is wise. It helps us to grow and have direction. Without it we become sad and isolated. When I learned to make rugs or create baskets I aspired to learn to a skill. I aspired to create artwork that lifted the heart. I joined a writing group because I aspired to learn the craft. Even in taking an acting class I aspired to push myself way out of my comfort zone. How is any of this a negative? If you look at the woman in Proverbs 31 she had incredible skills. None of that comes without dreams. When I began writing I aspired to get a piece published. It was so much fun (nerves and anxiety too) to try and see if I could do it. It brought excitement to my life. Isn't a happy, alive person something good?
A couple of years ago I was on Vancouver Island and I wanted to go to a coastal beach called Botanical beach. When I got to the parking lot I realized that the path down was really steep and hard climbing. I hadn't done anything like that in literally decades. I didn't know if I could do it but I'd been dreaming of this trip. This beach has tidal pools, star fish and amazing rock formations. I decided to do it. I was fortunate to have a friend who was a great encourager and we made it down. What a fabulous experience it was. Getting back up was a struggle, but I took it in stages and felt such a rush of happiness that I did it. Having the dream helped me to do more than I would have thought I could. How could being an aspirational woman be a negative? I would not condemn anyone to that empty of an existence.
 
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Phenom1960

Guest
#36
There is nothing wrong with being aspirational. God wants us to find something to do and to do it with all our heart. He wants us to enjoy what we do no matter how difficult it may be. He is right there to encourage us as we walk down life's road. I applaud your accomplishments!
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#37
yea whats wrong with being aspirational.
according to dictionary it means to have an ambition or hope. If you have hope then you also have faith to go with it so, its very Christian to be aspirational. Nobody can get to the mountain top by sitting on their butt doing nothing all day can they? Its not as if someone else is going to carry them all the way up the mountain.

Moses actually had to get up there, so did Jesus for his sermon was ON the mount.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#38
I couldnt fill out one of those profiles anymore for dating online is just like applying for jobs yet another form to fill out. I suppose if you were determined to find a husband or wife you would but a lot of people dont say they specifically that they are looking for a husband or wife at all

they should just say WIFE wanted, and advertise exactly what they are looking or instead of advertising themselves. Give the job description too and maybe an idea of the pay.
 
Feb 8, 2020
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#39
I couldnt fill out one of those profiles anymore for dating online is just like applying for jobs yet another form to fill out. I suppose if you were determined to find a husband or wife you would but a lot of people dont say they specifically that they are looking for a husband or wife at all

they should just say WIFE wanted, and advertise exactly what they are looking or instead of advertising themselves. Give the job description too and maybe an idea of the pay.
@Lanolin
"WIFE Wanted" it sound interesting, I have to try it out.
Have a nice day
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
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#40
haha Go for it.
I suppose when Im ready I might put a HUSBAND wanted ad up. But I have to really think about it first. Hmm do I really want a husband? What would he be good for?