Why do marriages fail?
- Thread starter Lanolin
- Start date
-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
It is hard to hold back the joy of God's deliverance in one's life and to understand the difference between a catholic and a Christian. Christianity is about having a relationship with God in Yeshua and when one has Yeshua in their life they will know that even in difficulties God's grace is sufficient. As I once wrote which you can hold on to... My pains I leave behind, the scars are my lessons, I will enter a new life with a breath of fresh air and not that Yeshua's in your life it is better.
Only the hand of God can take a broken vase and put it together to make it valuable.
Words of encouragement... Let God speak to you through the Scriptures and you speak to God through prayer.
Only the hand of God can take a broken vase and put it together to make it valuable.
Words of encouragement... Let God speak to you through the Scriptures and you speak to God through prayer.
Wish I could backread more.. but even if I cant... My father used to tell us, if at first u don't succeed, try, try and try again. I'm not saying we try to marry again, but there may be ways we're doing things the same old way in marriage, whether that be cooking, organizing (or not organizing=), talking and listening, taking breaks, etc. And how we do things may not have been working before. We could ask God for wisdom and try again (and again), changing what we may be able to, but not having strived to do so in the past. There's a statement I heard from a couples talk, abt one (often the husband) looking for his second serving, when actually he's at the point he so dislikes what he has become in the context of marriage. But it took 2 to get to what the marriage is at present, it also needs 2 to commit to repair and restore what they have started good together, with God!
I took several of my post and composed it as one which might be helpful...
I believe that it is important for God to be in the center of a marriage, but God gave instructions through the Scriptures that if a husband and a wife follows they will have a successful marriage. I know many people who have been married for many years and had a successful marriage. I have learned before getting married that a marriage is not about a man and a woman, it is not about two people, it is about one flesh (a husband and a wife), if they do not recognized this the marriage would fail. God has shown me that a marriage will fulfill only when one of the spouse passes away, in other words, a marriage is a journey between one person a husband and a wife and many fell to realized this truth.
The problem lies in the fact that many enter marriage not knowing that in a marriage there is a role that must be played, one must play the husband and the other must play the wife, the man is to love his wife and the wife is the reverence her husband, but they need to understand that both are equal and that there must be order in the marriage; the man is to be the head, not to take advantage, but to love his wife as Yeshua loves the church and the woman is to be in subjection to the husband as the church is to Yeshua. They must yield to each other, learn to forgive each other, selfishness must be put away, they need to learn to love and give of each other without depriving each other. What I am trying to convey, trust has to be created, assurance have to establish prior to entering a marriage.
One cannot blind themselves to the fact that there are marriages outside christianity that are successful and that is because they understand what it means to be married, it will be a blessing if Yeshua was the center.
I am sure your father meant good and I understand exactly what he is saying, but sometimes one needs to be careful when encouraging because one can create doubt in the person they are giving this kind of advice, especially when it is a marriage. I would say it this way which I learned at a young age... Failure will never overtake you if your determination to succeed is strong enough.
I believe that it is important for God to be in the center of a marriage, but God gave instructions through the Scriptures that if a husband and a wife follows they will have a successful marriage. I know many people who have been married for many years and had a successful marriage. I have learned before getting married that a marriage is not about a man and a woman, it is not about two people, it is about one flesh (a husband and a wife), if they do not recognized this the marriage would fail. God has shown me that a marriage will fulfill only when one of the spouse passes away, in other words, a marriage is a journey between one person a husband and a wife and many fell to realized this truth.
The problem lies in the fact that many enter marriage not knowing that in a marriage there is a role that must be played, one must play the husband and the other must play the wife, the man is to love his wife and the wife is the reverence her husband, but they need to understand that both are equal and that there must be order in the marriage; the man is to be the head, not to take advantage, but to love his wife as Yeshua loves the church and the woman is to be in subjection to the husband as the church is to Yeshua. They must yield to each other, learn to forgive each other, selfishness must be put away, they need to learn to love and give of each other without depriving each other. What I am trying to convey, trust has to be created, assurance have to establish prior to entering a marriage.
One cannot blind themselves to the fact that there are marriages outside christianity that are successful and that is because they understand what it means to be married, it will be a blessing if Yeshua was the center.
I am sure your father meant good and I understand exactly what he is saying, but sometimes one needs to be careful when encouraging because one can create doubt in the person they are giving this kind of advice, especially when it is a marriage. I would say it this way which I learned at a young age... Failure will never overtake you if your determination to succeed is strong enough.
some people talk about earning their Mrs degree and just wondered what they mean by that.
I just think its kind of weird that its mostly women quit school once they marry, like they dont even finish their papers and so never even graduate. What, you cant learn anything once you marry?
dont they ever think to maybe finish their schooling BEFORE getting married? Sorry it sounds a bit judgemental but I think there something wrong or stupid about that. But certianly I wouldnt judge anyone who wants to learn while pregnant or taking their baby to class.
I just think its kind of weird that its mostly women quit school once they marry, like they dont even finish their papers and so never even graduate. What, you cant learn anything once you marry?
dont they ever think to maybe finish their schooling BEFORE getting married? Sorry it sounds a bit judgemental but I think there something wrong or stupid about that. But certianly I wouldnt judge anyone who wants to learn while pregnant or taking their baby to class.
am wondeing if its gendered that the woman must always be the wife and the man must always be the husband...or is there anything wrong with being a stay at home dad?
I think its better at least one person is at home with the children or looking after the house cos if both are out that house is gonna fall to bits like a pack of cards.
I think its better at least one person is at home with the children or looking after the house cos if both are out that house is gonna fall to bits like a pack of cards.
Why does someone have to get a degree to learn?
How common is it for women to marry and drop out of college? I work at a university and I don't see a lot of that, but I am usually just teaching students once in year three or four at this point. But if a couple chooses that, it might make sense for them. If she's a degree in Humanities or something-or-other studies from a fourth tier school that doesn't have a good ROI, it might make financial sense for her to drop out. There is something to be said for the wife staying home with children instead of sending them to daycare. But at some point, the kids grow up, and she may have fifteen or twenty years at home alone. If she locks the degree in at a young age, that may work out better than just taking classes that expire after so many years as far as other universities are concerned.
How common is it for women to marry and drop out of college? I work at a university and I don't see a lot of that, but I am usually just teaching students once in year three or four at this point. But if a couple chooses that, it might make sense for them. If she's a degree in Humanities or something-or-other studies from a fourth tier school that doesn't have a good ROI, it might make financial sense for her to drop out. There is something to be said for the wife staying home with children instead of sending them to daycare. But at some point, the kids grow up, and she may have fifteen or twenty years at home alone. If she locks the degree in at a young age, that may work out better than just taking classes that expire after so many years as far as other universities are concerned.
i dont see much of that either as I went to a secular university but I was quite shocked when I learned its a common thing amngst christian circles to go to college just to find a husband, when they find one, they just drop out?!
what a waste of an education, also what is wrong with completing a humanities degree? if you dont complete it you really have nothing to show for yourself as far as theses or dissertation is concerned. if you graduate, you can go on to do post grad and it opens up another world.
Humanties education was NOT CHEAP when I went so why would you spend all that money, get halfway and not even finish it. If you going to do start something then finish its only 3 years! If you are going to marry and have a family, why not actually plan it after graduation. You will always regret being a high school drop out...as many have shared.
even more so, you will regret being a college drop out.
I once flatted with a lady who told me she was doing a dance degree but her abusive partner did not want her having a further education so he STOPPED her from completeting it. Im sure he would claim it was for ,financial reasons, as well. . well that partnership didnt last.
what a waste of an education, also what is wrong with completing a humanities degree? if you dont complete it you really have nothing to show for yourself as far as theses or dissertation is concerned. if you graduate, you can go on to do post grad and it opens up another world.
Humanties education was NOT CHEAP when I went so why would you spend all that money, get halfway and not even finish it. If you going to do start something then finish its only 3 years! If you are going to marry and have a family, why not actually plan it after graduation. You will always regret being a high school drop out...as many have shared.
even more so, you will regret being a college drop out.
I once flatted with a lady who told me she was doing a dance degree but her abusive partner did not want her having a further education so he STOPPED her from completeting it. Im sure he would claim it was for ,financial reasons, as well. . well that partnership didnt last.
I got a degree in Linguistics, which is at the intersection of Humanities and Social Sciences. I taught ESL overseas for that. That was fine for supporting just myself, but it did not translate so easily into work in the US, so I went on the grad school. If your parents are rich and paying for it, education for the sake of education may be a good thing. Those 13 years we spend up through 12th grade are supposed to be about education, too.
I'm not sure how common it is for girls to intentionally go to college to find a husband. Unless they can land a senior in their Freshman or Sophomore year or someone form a rich family, that doesn't sound like a good strategy. But there are churches where it is the culture for women to stay home with the children. I think that's great as far as raising the children is concerned, but then the kids grow up.
Did you skip summers or you in a country that has an extra year of high school and shorter bachelors degrees than they have in the system I am in in the US? I heard New Zealand has that.
Humanities education isn't cheap, and it can be hard to find a job after you get done. You may have to go to grad school to get a job in that field.
Biologically, we are wired to reproduce younger than that. We are telling the young people to refrain from fornication for a long time. At least, many Christians are still telling them that. Society at large is not.
Financially, it could be that completing her degree would have been a negative net value proposition. Who hires dancers? Do they care if you complete a degree?
I'm not sure how common it is for girls to intentionally go to college to find a husband. Unless they can land a senior in their Freshman or Sophomore year or someone form a rich family, that doesn't sound like a good strategy. But there are churches where it is the culture for women to stay home with the children. I think that's great as far as raising the children is concerned, but then the kids grow up.
Did you skip summers or you in a country that has an extra year of high school and shorter bachelors degrees than they have in the system I am in in the US? I heard New Zealand has that.
Humanities education isn't cheap, and it can be hard to find a job after you get done. You may have to go to grad school to get a job in that field.
Biologically, we are wired to reproduce younger than that. We are telling the young people to refrain from fornication for a long time. At least, many Christians are still telling them that. Society at large is not.
Financially, it could be that completing her degree would have been a negative net value proposition. Who hires dancers? Do they care if you complete a degree?
You didn't hear a lot of talk like that back when most men worked behind the plough and dug ditches. Most families that choose one parent to stay home usually choose the mother to do that, and I suspect that is usually the mother's choice also.
Women have a biological advantage over men when it comes to feeding small babies, so it doesn't make as much sense for a man to stay home to feed an infant. Formula isn't as good for the baby.
I also think it is probably harder for a woman to respect her husband as much if he's able-bodied and she's going out and working and brings home all the money. A lot of men don't want to be house husbands. Women looking for husbands tend to want to 'marry up', a man who has at least the same or more income, education, etc. I don't think I've ever heard a man say he wanted to marry a woman who is more educated than he is.
Women have a biological advantage over men when it comes to feeding small babies, so it doesn't make as much sense for a man to stay home to feed an infant. Formula isn't as good for the baby.
I also think it is probably harder for a woman to respect her husband as much if he's able-bodied and she's going out and working and brings home all the money. A lot of men don't want to be house husbands. Women looking for husbands tend to want to 'marry up', a man who has at least the same or more income, education, etc. I don't think I've ever heard a man say he wanted to marry a woman who is more educated than he is.
I understand what you are saying and for this reason it is important that both the man and the woman get to know each other before marrying, they need to learn to trust each other, he needs to assure her that she will be taken care, and she to be assured that his words are true. Courtship is the place where the couple needs to get to know each other, talk about each other family to see what guy of family they come from, see if there is any divorce in their immediately family, not that divorce should rule a marriage out because some divorce were due to unfaithful and physical and verbal abuse. They should see if they themselves have a narcissistic behavior problem which will definite contribute to a marriage failure, do they get angry when one of the party disagree, do they always want to be right. One has to find all this out prior to marriage because this can lead to having a successful marriage. Let me also add, both have to understand that they are equal but in a marriage there is order, the husband is the head and the wife is in subjection to him, but this does not give the husband the right to take advantage of his wife.
I dont think women are 'wired' to have children early. if you have children too young you will exhaust yourself. and many many women died from childbirth before medical care got better i.e better hygiene practises!!
in this day and age because of pollution etc fertility has become an issue. However God can do miracles even in older age as He did on the OT times right up to Elizabeth in nt so its a bit of a fallacy that younger women are better at raising children.
there seems to be a lot of sexist attitudes being posted here.
sigh...women still need to teach men who think they cant use their brains.
in this day and age because of pollution etc fertility has become an issue. However God can do miracles even in older age as He did on the OT times right up to Elizabeth in nt so its a bit of a fallacy that younger women are better at raising children.
there seems to be a lot of sexist attitudes being posted here.
sigh...women still need to teach men who think they cant use their brains.
speak for yourself actually if a wife had to go out to work and earned more and the husband stayed at home to mind HIS OWN children that would totally earn respect. Cos minding children is hard work!!
I would rather hubby do that and bond with the children than have to hire someone else to do that important job. many ask the grandparents to do that but not all married couples have the grandparents.
it depends on your working situation.
as for dance degree, the flatmate was a dance teacher. she could have become a coreographer which does earn a lot but education wasnt just for 'getting a job' I think men dont understand how imprtant education is for women. who really wants to stay DUMB?
I would rather hubby do that and bond with the children than have to hire someone else to do that important job. many ask the grandparents to do that but not all married couples have the grandparents.
it depends on your working situation.
as for dance degree, the flatmate was a dance teacher. she could have become a coreographer which does earn a lot but education wasnt just for 'getting a job' I think men dont understand how imprtant education is for women. who really wants to stay DUMB?
theres a lot more family friendly workplaces.
The thing is, because of the way the govt has framed it, and economics, much of the system was geared to educate either factory workers or for those going further, owners of said factories. sometimes you would come out of some schools dumber than you went in.
But that industrial 'revolution' has now passed and we are on to other ways of working now.especially home based and community based work.
The thing is, because of the way the govt has framed it, and economics, much of the system was geared to educate either factory workers or for those going further, owners of said factories. sometimes you would come out of some schools dumber than you went in.
But that industrial 'revolution' has now passed and we are on to other ways of working now.especially home based and community based work.