Hello All,
This is my first post and I'd like to comment, I do hope its apporopriate.
So, I gave my life to Jesus back in Aug 2019.Prior to that I was void of anything that had to do with God.
I was in a marriage of convenience, what does that mean? Let me explain...
When I met my soon to be ex husband I was in a very physically abusive relationship.That relationship was drug fueled and very painful.The best things that came from that relationship was our 2 kids. At the time when we met I had no way out. In walks the husband.He asked me and my kids to move in with him.He said I'd never want for anything,and we could make a home and a life together.I saw my way out..and took it. We had an OK relationship at first...There was love but not the kind it should have been. I married him and we got pregnant. Thats when it all changed.He took a job as an over the road truck driver, which was ok at first. He'd be gone for 2 weeks and be home for 3 days and then back out for 2 weeks etc. That was our life for the first year. I had to plan the induction of our child based on his schedule. I was ok with that...Well...changes happened again. Over the years his time on the road became longer and longer. He was never home much and had become a stranger to our family. For the first year our baby thought the phone was a "daddy" I tried to move to different locations along where he traveled the most. Homeschooling our kids allowed for us to do this. after 55 moves I said enough was enough and settled for the last time in Florida. He started missing birthdays,then our anniversary, and major holidays soon as well. Christmas was the last holiday he made sure to be home for, but in the last 4 years, he had not made it home then. He'd be gone 2 weeks, then 3 weeks, then he'd come home once a month, then once every other month.He then would "visit" after six months..It was weird. The last time before we split he was gone for 9 months..enough time to create and birth a life. Meanwhile I saw someone on social media who kept checking in to church..faithfully every Sunday..I started interacting with this person. we had so much in common and shared many interests.. We started seeing each other and one thing led to another. In February last year, I told my husband (whom I had not seen in 9 months) that I was no longer in love with him and I wanted him to leave and I wanted a divorce. He left that day. I ended up dating that person until June,when they broke it off with me. I was devastated. I had thrown away 18 years of marriage for someone who did not love me. I found out that my husband had been seeing not one but 4 other women during our marriage, and by June he moved into his own place in another state and was "in a relationship" with one of the women. It would seem that what I called Karma acted swiftly.By this time I was broken..I still saw the person checking into their church every Sunday..In August I decided to go to one of his church locations (not the one he went to, that would be boredline stalking) Being only familiar with the Catholic church, my mind was like "here we go, about to cry and breakdown and be judged as every other time" This time was different. I walked into this church, and felt an overwhelming sensation of joy..People smiled at me and I felt so welcomed! Walking out..I ran into him..I never dreamed that would happen.He said he felt called to attend that location on that day! I felt...awkward. But I did not let that awkward feeling detir me from going back. I have attended service every week since then.. I have joined our serve team, am a greeter and have was baptized 2 weeks ago yesterday. My relationship with the guy has become so much more meaningful as we attend church together at times, go to functions together and we are closer than I have ever been with any human. Recently I have felt God telling me that I am married, and that as a Christian woman I had to at least see if reconciliation was possible..I reached out to him last week, he laughed and said he was taken. His new lady is a truck driver as well. I told him I was happy for him which I am. I do think that even though we marry someone, God MUST be at the center of the relationship, otherwise it will fail.I think the other man was sent to me for a purpose, to bring me back to God! I now am in a better place, mentally, physically and spiritually.I am grateful to God for removing the obstacles and for allowing me to hopefully find the one for me one day. But I know it's his will, not mine that will bring that person to me.Not my fleshly desires.
Thank you all for reading , and if it is in the wrong thread or inappropriate please let me know. God bless you all !