Would Uriah's House in Heaven Be Right Next to King David's? (And What Would You Say to David if You Were Uriah?)

[seoulsearch]

Hey Everyone,

Mandatory Disclaimer: if you're in a cheerful upbeat Christmas mood (and I sure hope you are), please do not read this thread, because it is anything but cheerful or upbeat.

This is just something that's been on my mind for some time, and I just felt the need to get it out.

In a recent church sermon, the pastor mentioned the story of David's sin with Bathsheba, and emphasized how much wrong was done to Uriah (Bathsheba's husband), in the process.

Just as a recap (found in 2 Samuel 11) -- David saw Bathsheba and sent for her, but she was already married to Uriah. Uriah was part of David's army, but that didn't stop David. David got Bathsheba pregnant, and then tried to cover it up by trying to send Uriah home to spend time with her, but Uriah answered David (v. 11): "The ark and Israel and Judah are dwelling in tents, and my lord Joab (the leader of David's army) and the servants of my lord are encamped in the open fields. Shall I then go to my house to eat, drink, and spend time with my wife? As you live, and as your soul lives, I will not do this thing," so instead, Uriah chose to "lie down on his bed with the servants of his lord, but did not go down to his house" (or home to his wife, v. 13.)

And so, David wrote to Joab, Uriah's commanding officer, telling him to put Uriah where the fighting was fiercest, then abruptly withdraw, leaving Uriah there to die alone.

Afterwards, David took Bathsheba home as his own wife, and although the child they first conceived died, David and Bathsheba later produced Solomon, the wisest and wealthiest king of all time.

I know that even as a child, I always felt bad for Uriah, but this time around, the message seemed to especially hit home.

Now, I'm assuming that both Uriah and David went to heaven, and I couldn't help but wonder what kind of exchange the two would have when David got there. "Oh hi... You're the guy who was the king that fathered a child with my wife while I was out protecting you and our people. When you couldn't pass off your child as mine, you had me murdered in a gruesome, violent way so that you could claim my wife as your own and then later spawn the most famous king of the Bible... Welcome home, neighbor! So glad to finally see you again."

The reason I thought about this is because even though some events from my life are long past (and I could most certainly NEVER claim to have suffered even a small fraction of the betrayal Uriah endured), God sometimes "reminds" me of these events with a dream, in order to see how I react. I had such a dream earlier this week. In the past, I would feel angry, sad, and/or severely depressed for days, but this time, I just tried to push it out of my head completely.

Tonight's Christmas Eve church service included taking communion, and when the pastor reminded us that we should be partaking with a clean heart, I told God, "God? I don't feel anything. Normally, I would feel anger or depression, but I truly don't feel anything. How does one get a clean heart if their heart isn't even responding?"

And so, this is something I'm trying to work out with God right now, and I'm guessing I'm not the only one. In order to avoid feeling angry, sad, or depressed (especially at people from my past), I just try not to feel anything at all, lest I slip and feel anger at anyone who has long since passed out of my life (and is best left there.)

I wonder what kind of conversation Uriah had with God about David when Uriah got to heaven. After all, it is David who is constantly praised both in the Bible and in Christian circles as, "The Man After God's Own Heart."

Someday, when you get to heaven, if you find yourself seated next to the person(s) who hurt and betrayed you most in this life, what would you find yourself saying to them, or telling God about them?

 

[seoulsearch]

P.S. Of course, the person(s) who hurt us most could also be a non-Christian, and therefore not be going to heaven at all.

But something that weighs heavily on my mind is that the Bible tells us if we don't forgive others who have wronged us, God won't forgive our wrongs either.

When God is working on you to forgive, let it go, or try to work things out with someone who has wronged you, what is your usual reaction? (And do you have any tips/stories about how to go about doing what God is asking or has asked you to do?)

 

[Lynx]

I've thought for years about some things people have done to me, and whether I would be able to handle it if I saw the people who did them in Heaven.

This one place where I worked, it was at a factory. I was there as a temp, hired through a temp agency. The guy I was filling in for was out for a good three months or so. Then that guy came back, and for a week we both did the same job, working down the orders that had accumulated during my learning curve.

It wasn't hard to see what happened next. I got laid off.

It was the manner in which they let me go, though, that irked me. My immediate boss was not there the day they told me I was fired. HIS boss talked to me, and claimed my immediate boss had some complaints about my work. Hmm... My immediate boss was very direct, and would have certainly mentioned any problems to me directly if he had any complaints about my work. That had never happened, and in fact my immediate boss was always very complimentary about how I did my job.

That bothered me a bit. I have a strong work ethic and I take some pride in doing my job well. Also it bugs me when people lie about me. And this was apparently just a normal day for them, something they had down to a routine. Don't need the temp any more, drum up some hard-to-disprove complaint at a convenient occasion to get rid of him. They lied just to save face and maybe a little money.

Now, what if I meet that manager that lied about me? What if I get to Heaven and see him there?

Well, his very presence in Heaven would mean that somewhere between when he lied about me and when he died, he found the same salvation I found. If he had not, he would not be there. Also, neither of us would have earned that salvation. If I tried to claim it wasn't fair for him to be there, I would put myself in a very precarious ethical position, because I don't really deserve to be there either.

Also I'd rather he be in Heaven than hell. He lied on me, but that doesn't mean I'd want him to miss Heaven.

Other thoughts in the next post...

 

[Lynx]

Sometimes I see kids bicker and fight back and forth, hurt each other, and run crying to mommy to demand justice against each other. Meanwhile the mother is rubbing her forehead and saying, "Please kids, just try to get along!"

Sometimes it makes me wonder if God gets a headache when I get hurt and run to Him demanding that He do something against the one who hurt me. God loves the person I can't stand just as much as He loves me. One is doing what He said we should do to live a good life and one isn't, but God loves each of us just the same. There's a big difference between loving somebody and liking what somebody does.

 

[Lynx]

I've also thought a lot about the things that matter here, and the things that (I think might) matter in Heaven. Money will be useless. Pride will be a mistake at best, sheer arrogance at worst. Reputation won't really matter. Everything I care about here, everything that anybody could damage or take away or use to hurt me, won't even be a factor in Heaven.

For me to hate somebody who hurt me, would be like holding a grudge against somebody who cheated in a baseball game. Sure he got a few more points than I did because he didn't play fair, or sure he tripped me and kept me from scoring that run... but after the game is over, those points don't matter any more in the real world. It was just a game, and after it has ended we get on with life.

After this life is over, it is over. Everything that matters here, won't matter there. It's not really even worth keeping score.

 

[Blackbeard]

I guess that's where the " all former things will no longer be remembered" will prove useful. What David did is pretty messed up. Uriah would be okay to be angry with David if they ever crossed paths again. I don't know what happens to our memory as soon as we die but I hope it all gets erased at a certain point

 

[Dino246]

If Uriah is in heaven, he has forgiven David. He had every reason to hate David bitterly... and the only reason he needs to forgive David completely: because God in Christ forgave him.

I sometimes wonder about how God works that all out. Is there a time when we greet the ones we knew, and who hurt us, or whom we hurt? Do we talk it all through? Or is it just "fixed"? I have horrid visions of holding hands and singing "Friends Are Friends Forever" ... please, just NO.

I might be a bit leery of seeing certain people, knowing that my sinful actions affected them. I know we're supposed to forgive others, but I don't presume that others forgive me.

 

[G00WZ]

People have and sometimes choose roles to play in life with the choices they make, and when all is said and done there shouldn't really be any grudges held for what a person does or has done to them. I know for me i have played the villain majority of my life.
Just because a person chooses a bad role to play doesn't necessarily mean that that is the pinnacle of their character development... Also there are purposes and causes in life that are beyond the roles men/ women think they play in life... But people are people, and they are egotistical and tend to make things about themselves and forget. Things that happen in life serve a higher purpose, so i imagine that in heaven David and Uriah are in higher states of consciousness outside of egotistical grudges. What is done was done to get us to where we are,and the purpose is and will always point to Christ in the end.

People who criticize are criticized... people who hate are hated, people who judge are judged, people who offend are offended, and so forth and so on. when you forgive you are forgiven, when you love you are loved... "As he thinketh in his heart, so is he" .The things a person produces are the things that are upon them. Understanding things this way makes it easier to forgive, and exit the mindset of being a subject to whatever is happening or that has happened. I had some Jehovas witnesses come over today and preach to me about how wicked the world is, and how we are in the end times. The two of them both looked like the content they were producing, both had sunken in eyes and looked like they didn't ever get any sleep.

 

[seoulsearch]

These are all very interesting thoughts and I hope people will continue to share.

Lynx -- Great point about the things of this world no longer meaning anything when we get to our eternal destination. Sometimes I look back at my high school years and how torturous they seemed at the time, but it was only 4 years, and it seems like a lifetime away now. I think God keeps trying to tell me that our life here on earth is going to seem something like that.

Blackbeard -- I have often wondered how much we will remember in heaven as well. As much as I would like to only remember the good, I think that for myself, I would need to remember the bad (including my own) in order to remember how much I need God.

Dino -- Thank you for wording something I've always wondered about but wasn't sure how to vocalize. I've always wondered if people have somehow automatically forgiven each other on the way to heaven or if part of the experience is like a big pow wow in which everyone hashes it out.

Two other major inspirations for this thread are friends who fighting custody battles with exes over their children, and a "true crime" case in which a woman talked about a family someday having to answer to God for the wrong they had done to their spouse and children. It made me think about how wide to scope of forgiveness really is, and if God sometimes struggles with forgiving us (even though I know He readily does it.)

G00WZ -- I have heard it said before that here on earth, people have some degree to which they choose to live out their own heaven or hell in this life. Of course, there are many factors that are beyond anyone's control, but I appreciate your point that understanding someone's situation can make it easier to let things go.

Great points to ponder during a busy Christmas day.

Hope everyone has a blessed Christmas, and thank you!

 

[Lynx]

If Uriah is in heaven, he has forgiven David. He had every reason to hate David bitterly... and the only reason he needs to forgive David completely: because God in Christ forgave him.

I sometimes wonder about how God works that all out. Is there a time when we greet the ones we knew, and who hurt us, or whom we hurt? Do we talk it all through? Or is it just "fixed"? I have horrid visions of holding hands and singing "Friends Are Friends Forever" ... please, just NO.

I might be a bit leery of seeing certain people, knowing that my sinful actions affected them. I know we're supposed to forgive others, but I don't presume that others forgive me.

Yeah that's one thing I started thinking about after I went to bed last night. (Thanks a lot seoulsearch.) What would David say to Uriah? That would hurt!

There are some people I know I have hurt, not because I wanted them to hurt but because I just didn't care. Some people I will probably never see again this side of Heaven. What will I say to them when I get there?

 

[Lanolin]

are you ok seoulsearch?

I think if God wants you to deal with some issue in the past, it may be because He's forgiven that person. and wants you to know that too so you can have peace.

Im sure many of us has had our hearts broken at some stage in life...it shows we are human.
Have a blessed Christmas and please dont worry about being single it ought to be the least of our worries. You are free for a reason, be glad.

 

[exegete]

David, to Uriah upon realizing that their houses in Heaven are adjacent, "wow. this is awkward, huh?"

 

[zeroturbulence]

Hey Everyone,

Mandatory Disclaimer: if you're in a cheerful upbeat Christmas mood (and I sure hope you are), please do not read this thread, because it is anything but cheerful or upbeat.

This is just something that's been on my mind for some time, and I just felt the need to get it out.

In a recent church sermon, the pastor mentioned the story of David's sin with Bathsheba, and emphasized how much wrong was done to Uriah (Bathsheba's husband), in the process.

Just as a recap (found in 2 Samuel 11) -- David saw Bathsheba and sent for her, but she was already married to Uriah. Uriah was part of David's army, but that didn't stop David. David got Bathsheba pregnant, and then tried to cover it up by trying to send Uriah home to spend time with her, but Uriah answered David (v. 11): "The ark and Israel and Judah are dwelling in tents, and my lord Joab (the leader of David's army) and the servants of my lord are encamped in the open fields. Shall I then go to my house to eat, drink, and spend time with my wife? As you live, and as your soul lives, I will not do this thing," so instead, Uriah chose to "lie down on his bed with the servants of his lord, but did not go down to his house" (or home to his wife, v. 13.)

And so, David wrote to Joab, Uriah's commanding officer, telling him to put Uriah where the fighting was fiercest, then abruptly withdraw, leaving Uriah there to die alone.

Afterwards, David took Bathsheba home as his own wife, and although the child they first conceived died, David and Bathsheba later produced Solomon, the wisest and wealthiest king of all time.

I know that even as a child, I always felt bad for Uriah, but this time around, the message seemed to especially hit home.

Now, I'm assuming that both Uriah and David went to heaven, and I couldn't help but wonder what kind of exchange the two would have when David got there. "Oh hi... You're the guy who was the king that fathered a child with my wife while I was out protecting you and our people. When you couldn't pass off your child as mine, you had me murdered in a gruesome, violent way so that you could claim my wife as your own and then later spawn the most famous king of the Bible... Welcome home, neighbor! So glad to finally see you again."

The reason I thought about this is because even though some events from my life are long past (and I could most certainly NEVER claim to have suffered even a small fraction of the betrayal Uriah endured), God sometimes "reminds" me of these events with a dream, in order to see how I react. I had such a dream earlier this week. In the past, I would feel angry, sad, and/or severely depressed for days, but this time, I just tried to push it out of my head completely.

Tonight's Christmas Eve church service included taking communion, and when the pastor reminded us that we should be partaking with a clean heart, I told God, "God? I don't feel anything. Normally, I would feel anger or depression, but I truly don't feel anything. How does one get a clean heart if their heart isn't even responding?"

And so, this is something I'm trying to work out with God right now, and I'm guessing I'm not the only one. In order to avoid feeling angry, sad, or depressed (especially at people from my past), I just try not to feel anything at all, lest I slip and feel anger at anyone who has long since passed out of my life (and is best left there.)

I wonder what kind of conversation Uriah had with God about David when Uriah got to heaven. After all, it is David who is constantly praised both in the Bible and in Christian circles as, "The Man After God's Own Heart."

Someday, when you get to heaven, if you find yourself seated next to the person(s) who hurt and betrayed you most in this life, what would you find yourself saying to them, or telling God about them?

I actually have an answer to this but it's not something I would share here because I know better. Just know that there's a real good chance that your worries are very unneccessarry. And yes, both of them can be in heaven and at total peace with each other.

 

[laughingheart]

Dear Seoulsearch, I so appreciate you. You open yourself up even when it hurts or the answer isn't apparent.
For me, one of the things I am most looking forward to in heaven is that I will finally be who I was meant to be before sin. I will be renewed and restored. I can't tell you how much I want a time where I no longer have to say, "I am so sorry Lord". I also know that the people who have hurt me, intentionally and otherwise, will also be completely remade into his original intentions for them.
If our future no longer has weeping or wailing, then true restoration and justice, will have occurred.
Under no circumstances are you to numb yourself and hide your truth to fit expectations. You are loved. Your hurts are known. Your truth is know. Did I mention you are loved?
As for David and Uriah, it is unbelievable that as our earthly selves, there could be peace and fellowship. When we are home we will all be so much more.
hugs and love, laughingheart

 

[BrotherMike]

Someday, when you get to heaven, if you find yourself seated next to the person(s) who hurt and betrayed you most in this life, what would you find yourself saying to them, or telling God about them?

Wow... this made me think for a while. What comes to mind is I need to forgive 70x7. I don’t think I would have resentment in Heaven because I’m too focused praising and worshipping our creator. I know it would be up to God to decide and I definitely wouldn’t wish anyone to be in hell for hurting me. I also wouldn’t tell God anything about them cause I would know He already knows.

 

[BrotherMike]

Dear Seoulsearch, I so appreciate you. You open yourself up even when it hurts or the answer isn't apparent.

I second this... she is so honest and eloquent in her posts. It’s refreshing to see.

 

[Mel85]

Hey Everyone,

Mandatory Disclaimer: if you're in a cheerful upbeat Christmas mood (and I sure hope you are), please do not read this thread, because it is anything but cheerful or upbeat.

This is just something that's been on my mind for some time, and I just felt the need to get it out.

In a recent church sermon, the pastor mentioned the story of David's sin with Bathsheba, and emphasized how much wrong was done to Uriah (Bathsheba's husband), in the process.

Just as a recap (found in 2 Samuel 11) -- David saw Bathsheba and sent for her, but she was already married to Uriah. Uriah was part of David's army, but that didn't stop David. David got Bathsheba pregnant, and then tried to cover it up by trying to send Uriah home to spend time with her, but Uriah answered David (v. 11): "The ark and Israel and Judah are dwelling in tents, and my lord Joab (the leader of David's army) and the servants of my lord are encamped in the open fields. Shall I then go to my house to eat, drink, and spend time with my wife? As you live, and as your soul lives, I will not do this thing," so instead, Uriah chose to "lie down on his bed with the servants of his lord, but did not go down to his house" (or home to his wife, v. 13.)

And so, David wrote to Joab, Uriah's commanding officer, telling him to put Uriah where the fighting was fiercest, then abruptly withdraw, leaving Uriah there to die alone.

Afterwards, David took Bathsheba home as his own wife, and although the child they first conceived died, David and Bathsheba later produced Solomon, the wisest and wealthiest king of all time.

I know that even as a child, I always felt bad for Uriah, but this time around, the message seemed to especially hit home.

Now, I'm assuming that both Uriah and David went to heaven, and I couldn't help but wonder what kind of exchange the two would have when David got there. "Oh hi... You're the guy who was the king that fathered a child with my wife while I was out protecting you and our people. When you couldn't pass off your child as mine, you had me murdered in a gruesome, violent way so that you could claim my wife as your own and then later spawn the most famous king of the Bible... Welcome home, neighbor! So glad to finally see you again."

The reason I thought about this is because even though some events from my life are long past (and I could most certainly NEVER claim to have suffered even a small fraction of the betrayal Uriah endured), God sometimes "reminds" me of these events with a dream, in order to see how I react. I had such a dream earlier this week. In the past, I would feel angry, sad, and/or severely depressed for days, but this time, I just tried to push it out of my head completely.

Tonight's Christmas Eve church service included taking communion, and when the pastor reminded us that we should be partaking with a clean heart, I told God, "God? I don't feel anything. Normally, I would feel anger or depression, but I truly don't feel anything. How does one get a clean heart if their heart isn't even responding?"

And so, this is something I'm trying to work out with God right now, and I'm guessing I'm not the only one. In order to avoid feeling angry, sad, or depressed (especially at people from my past), I just try not to feel anything at all, lest I slip and feel anger at anyone who has long since passed out of my life (and is best left there.)

I wonder what kind of conversation Uriah had with God about David when Uriah got to heaven. After all, it is David who is constantly praised both in the Bible and in Christian circles as, "The Man After God's Own Heart."

Someday, when you get to heaven, if you find yourself seated next to the person(s) who hurt and betrayed you most in this life, what would you find yourself saying to them, or telling God about them?

Thanks Kim for sharing this - I really enjoy reading your perspective on things sis

My answer is simple, I probably would not be dwelling on such things or questions about those who have hurt or betrayed me or vice verca, but I would like to be worshipping God and solely focussing on Him I am not sure of whether we’d recognise eachother in the flesh as we’d be in the spirit anyway? But I pray and hope not to have any hurt, regrets, betrayals etc with others when I die.

 

[Adstar]

Hey Everyone,

Mandatory Disclaimer: if you're in a cheerful upbeat Christmas mood (and I sure hope you are), please do not read this thread, because it is anything but cheerful or upbeat.

This is just something that's been on my mind for some time, and I just felt the need to get it out.

In a recent church sermon, the pastor mentioned the story of David's sin with Bathsheba, and emphasized how much wrong was done to Uriah (Bathsheba's husband), in the process.

Just as a recap (found in 2 Samuel 11) -- David saw Bathsheba and sent for her, but she was already married to Uriah. Uriah was part of David's army, but that didn't stop David. David got Bathsheba pregnant, and then tried to cover it up by trying to send Uriah home to spend time with her, but Uriah answered David (v. 11): "The ark and Israel and Judah are dwelling in tents, and my lord Joab (the leader of David's army) and the servants of my lord are encamped in the open fields. Shall I then go to my house to eat, drink, and spend time with my wife? As you live, and as your soul lives, I will not do this thing," so instead, Uriah chose to "lie down on his bed with the servants of his lord, but did not go down to his house" (or home to his wife, v. 13.)

And so, David wrote to Joab, Uriah's commanding officer, telling him to put Uriah where the fighting was fiercest, then abruptly withdraw, leaving Uriah there to die alone.

Afterwards, David took Bathsheba home as his own wife, and although the child they first conceived died, David and Bathsheba later produced Solomon, the wisest and wealthiest king of all time.

I know that even as a child, I always felt bad for Uriah, but this time around, the message seemed to especially hit home.

Now, I'm assuming that both Uriah and David went to heaven, and I couldn't help but wonder what kind of exchange the two would have when David got there. "Oh hi... You're the guy who was the king that fathered a child with my wife while I was out protecting you and our people. When you couldn't pass off your child as mine, you had me murdered in a gruesome, violent way so that you could claim my wife as your own and then later spawn the most famous king of the Bible... Welcome home, neighbor! So glad to finally see you again."

The reason I thought about this is because even though some events from my life are long past (and I could most certainly NEVER claim to have suffered even a small fraction of the betrayal Uriah endured), God sometimes "reminds" me of these events with a dream, in order to see how I react. I had such a dream earlier this week. In the past, I would feel angry, sad, and/or severely depressed for days, but this time, I just tried to push it out of my head completely.

Tonight's Christmas Eve church service included taking communion, and when the pastor reminded us that we should be partaking with a clean heart, I told God, "God? I don't feel anything. Normally, I would feel anger or depression, but I truly don't feel anything. How does one get a clean heart if their heart isn't even responding?"

And so, this is something I'm trying to work out with God right now, and I'm guessing I'm not the only one. In order to avoid feeling angry, sad, or depressed (especially at people from my past), I just try not to feel anything at all, lest I slip and feel anger at anyone who has long since passed out of my life (and is best left there.)

I wonder what kind of conversation Uriah had with God about David when Uriah got to heaven. After all, it is David who is constantly praised both in the Bible and in Christian circles as, "The Man After God's Own Heart."

Someday, when you get to heaven, if you find yourself seated next to the person(s) who hurt and betrayed you most in this life, what would you find yourself saying to them, or telling God about them?

David was after Gods own heart because David did not resist conviction when confronted with the truth of his own sin.. He quickly admitted He had sinned against the LORD.. Being right with God is not about being a perfect human being who never does wrong.. It is about believing God, trusting God and repenting when you are convicted by God of the things you need to repent of.. David believed God and trusted in God and when he was confronted by the Prophet Nathan about his evil deeds in regard to Bathsheba and Uriah he emediatly admited his guilt and aknowedged He had sinned against God..

Now what would Uriah say to David in eternity? We shall all be transformed upon the day of resurrection and i believe we will be perfect and thus Uriah will be overjoyed to see how David,, such a great sinner,, was Redeemed from the Lake of Fire.. I am sure David and Uriah will have a perfect loving relationship as Brothers with Jesus in eternity..

In the here and now,, we as faulty flesh human beings,, find it hard to imagine such an outcome.. How could Uriah forgive David for such an injustice? such an evil act?.. But people forget that when we enter into Eternity we will be far better beings then we are now. Far Far better beings.. I long for that day when i will be a far far far better being then i am today ,,

 

[cinder]

It is about believing God, trusting God and repenting when you are convicted by God of the things you need to repent of.. David believed God and trusted in God and when he was confronted by the Prophet Nathan about his evil deeds in regard to Bathsheba and Uriah he emediatly admited his guilt and aknowedged He had sinned against God..

The rather interesting thing about this idea, is that Nathan didn't confront David until the baby was born. Which means that was like 9 months after David's sin. You have to wonder what David's perspective was during those 9 months. Was he busy justifying his actions to himself? Did he say that any of the surrounding pagan kings would have done the same and he was no worse than they? Was Bathsheeba in love with Uriah and did she mourn him privately and did David have to watch that and know he caused her tears and pain? Did David feel trapped, that he hated what he'd done but couldn't have done otherwise and now couldn't let anyone know, at least publicly, what he'd done? Did the whole city know and how did that affect David's ability to rule?

I don't think there's a whole lot of explanation or answer for any of that in the Bible, but a whole lot of people sure were affected by that one personal sin (or as the squeamish about sin would say.... personal indulgence).

 

[Adstar]

The rather interesting thing about this idea, is that Nathan didn't confront David until the baby was born. Which means that was like 9 months after David's sin. You have to wonder what David's perspective was during those 9 months. Was he busy justifying his actions to himself? Did he say that any of the surrounding pagan kings would have done the same and he was no worse than they? Was Bathsheeba in love with Uriah and did she mourn him privately and did David have to watch that and know he caused her tears and pain? Did David feel trapped, that he hated what he'd done but couldn't have done otherwise and now couldn't let anyone know, at least publicly, what he'd done? Did the whole city know and how did that affect David's ability to rule?

I don't think there's a whole lot of explanation or answer for any of that in the Bible, but a whole lot of people sure were affected by that one personal sin (or as the squeamish about sin would say.... personal indulgence).

You're correct in that there is no detailed explanations or answers to what was going through Davids mind during those time..

David was a King.. a leader of his nation.. imagine the dent to his reputation among his loyal solders if they found out he had been messing with the wife of one of his loyal solders while that solider was away risking his life serving the kings will... David wanted to avoid the consequences of his sin and only got deeper and deeper into sin trying to avoid the consequences.. Note that the penalty for committing Adultery at the time was death by stoning and David was guilty of Adultery..

The Story of David and Bathsheba to me is like a gambler who loses his monthly salary and cannot face going home to His wife to tell her they have no money for that month so he goes to the local loan shark and take out a high interest loan to go and gamble it again trying to win back their loses, only to lose all that money and ends up being 10 times deeper in trouble..