Help and Prayer

[GdaxBbb]

That is sounds like a very volatile situation. First and foremost your safety is the priority. You can certainly have some fellowship and give support with some barriers up. We like having you around as do others. LOL! I’m sure you do care for her and want nothing but the best, but you may have to call it quits for a time. I know that’s easier said than done.

It sounds like she had lot of work to be done on herself. God willing she gets the help she needs and improves, or it could go the other way and she could completely implode. Lord I pray that doesn’t happen. Again, if you really feel endangered, you need to remove yourself form that. If something happens that is bad...I don’t even like to think of those scenarios. Keep praying and petitioning the Lord!

Yeah it’s painful putting your whole self into someone. I mean she has gotten better now that she’s on anti depressants but it’s still a lingering thought of when she might explode again. Better in the sense of controlling her mood, spiritually emotionally she’s still immature. Always claims ohh god this god that but doesn’t follow through.

She’s had a lot of past trauma from when she was a teenager with her 1st boyfriend but still, it’s to the point where I didn’t even know if it really happened or if another thing she made up. Even if real no excuse for treating people the way she does.

I do love her and want of the best, but clearly me being there isn’t helping her because better maybe I’m a crutch. Maybe god got us to this point for her to implode the way she did and can now try and do something productive with her life.

I mean it sucks and is deeply painful on a fleshly level kind of like Job or Joseph just 14 years of torture.... but it is what it is.

I’ll continue to pray for her and myself, but being away makes me feel whole and at peace like the way life is normally supposed to be. Minus any sadness longing of the relationship.

 

[tourist]

Hi,

I’ll try to make it as quick as possible. Been with girlfriend for 13-14 years. Has epilepsy so couldn’t get married or she would lose her insurance. When we first met the day before we both prayed to find the person we’re supposed to be with then we met each other.

Also other super natural signs happened like god telling us “I love you” when mentioning Jesus’ name.

The problem is she had / has severe past issues where it caused her to be a highly manipulative, abusive, controlling, and down right selfish.

Never trusts me, always suspicious.
Basically very limited amounts of love in her. She’s virtually cheated online 3-4x before, even most recently.

If she went outside the house I’m pretty sure it would of been in person, as that’s what all the studies say suggest. Has double standards she knows right from wrong, those apply to you but not her.

She claims she’s a “Christian” and she reads here and there talks about the end times and the Bible in general, but there is no fruit in her life and she doesn’t do the fathers will. Nobody is perfect obviously but she’s not even close. Doesn’t go to church always makes excuses stays up late.

Like a year in we made a vow between us two and god to be married to each other and be with each other always.

I’m just at loss why god would basically show me all these amazing signs and answer to prayer if he knew how this relationship would turn out?

I know some people suffered for a very long time in the Bible like around 13 years, but I don’t know if I can go on any longer.

She doesn’t love me, the true definition of biblical love just words. Doesn’t cook, clean, look nice for me, wake up on time, work, go to school.

She most likely has borderline personality disorder. She is 100% not a partner but literally a burden, she’s incapable of doing anything for herself, well she is, she just chooses to have others do things for her. It’s like being in a relationship with your own selfish child. Completely irresponsible.

While I have to work, buy food, go out for her all the time and get her stuff while she contributes absolutely nothing to the relationship besides sorrow and emotional pain.

I know we’re supposed to suffer for Christ, and I would suffer for him while my life if it was his will. But even the people in the Bible who did majority had visions signs of great things to come I have nothing.

I literally feel like Job, even Jobs suffering eventually passed. I guess Jobs wife was pretty awful person too and he was married to her. Or when god told the old testament guy to keep taking Gomer his prostitute cheating wife back over and over.

I have so much resentment and pain, every time I even see a girl with makeup looking like a girl is supposed to it brings me sorrow knowing she robbed me youthful appearances, when in Proverbs it mentions to enjoy the wife of your youth.

Don’t get me wrong if it wasn’t for these things she would be a perfect match personality wise. It’s just I get so tired carrying her on my back with nothing in return besides companionship.

Am I supposed to stay in this sort of one sided loveless relationship for gods glory through suffering or call it quits?

Please pray and see if god speaks a word, I’m so tired.

Thank You

Exactly what amazing things that God has shown to you?

I don't believe an on-line fling would constitute an actual act of cheating on you, perhaps she feels alone, isolated, and unloved.

How would she care for herself if you were to throw her under bus, especially having been together for all of those years? I found the part about 'if it wasn't for these things she would be a perfect match' to be amusing. Ask yourself if it would be morally wrong in the eyes of God if you were to leave her. If the answer is no then you should probably arrange for her care somehow before you left. If the answer is yes, then you should stay the course and fight the good fight.

I believe the vibes she is sensing from you is hate and resentment. It certainly isn't love. She didn't rob you of anything as it was your choice to enter into the relationship in the first place. I don't see any glory for God's sake at all in this situation.

I understand you are tired and I feel bad for you. I cared for my late second wife for years due to her many health issues. For the last few years she could contribute nothing to the marriage either except for one thing. She contributed love. I have said a prayer for God to give you clarity of thought on how to best proceed.

 

[Aerials1978]

Yeah it’s painful putting your whole self into someone. I mean she has gotten better now that she’s on anti depressants but it’s still a lingering thought of when she might explode again. Better in the sense of controlling her mood, spiritually emotionally she’s still immature. Always claims ohh god this god that but doesn’t follow through.

She’s had a lot of past trauma from when she was a teenager with her 1st boyfriend but still, it’s to the point where I didn’t even know if it really happened or if another thing she made up. Even if real no excuse for treating people the way she does.

I do love her and want of the best, but clearly me being there isn’t helping her because better maybe I’m a crutch. Maybe god got us to this point for her to implode the way she did and can now try and do something productive with her life.

I mean it sucks and is deeply painful on a fleshly level kind of like Job or Joseph just 14 years of torture.... but it is what it is.

I’ll continue to pray for her and myself, but being away makes me feel whole and at peace like the way life is normally supposed to be. Minus any sadness longing of the relationship.

I am going through a separation. There is also sadness for me, but I cannot let that be a yoke around my neck. I pray there is rest and peace for both you however God delivers that.

 

[GdaxBbb]

Exactly what amazing things that God has shown to you?

I don't believe an on-line fling would constitute an actual act of cheating on you, perhaps she feels alone, isolated, and unloved.

How would she care for herself if you were to throw her under bus, especially having been together for all of those years? I found the part about 'if it wasn't for these things she would be a perfect match' to be amusing. Ask yourself if it would be morally wrong in the eyes of God if you were to leave her. If the answer is no then you should probably arrange for her care somehow before you left. If the answer is yes, then you should stay the course and fight the good fight.

I believe the vibes she is sensing from you is hate and resentment. It certainly isn't love. She didn't rob you of anything as it was your choice to enter into the relationship in the first place. I don't see any glory for God's sake at all in this situation.

I understand you are tired and I feel bad for you. I cared for my late second wife for years due to her many health issues. For the last few years she could contribute nothing to the marriage either except for one thing. She contributed love. I have said a prayer for God to give you clarity of thought on how to best proceed.

This isn’t a she is sick thread and has a disability, she’s a mentally sick abusive individual who just happens to have a disability.

With the disability or not she would still be a severely abusive person.

 

[GdaxBbb]

Also we lived with her parents so she has her parents to watch her. Lastly, Jesus said just looking at someone with lust is Adultery yet having disguising phone sex isn’t? And Psychology agrees virtual online / phone cheating leads to real world physical cheating an extremely high % of the time.

If she didn’t isolate herself home, she would of cheated all over me guaranteed out in the real world. She wasn’t neglected because I did everything for her and went above and beyond to meet every need and want, but the the borderline it’s never enough, they’ll create an alternative reality to suite their needs to neglect you and treat you the way they do.

 

[GdaxBbb]

I am going through a separation. There is also sadness for me, but I cannot let that be a yoke around my neck. I pray there is rest and peace for both you however God delivers that.

Thanks likewise I’ll pray for you.

 

[GdaxBbb]

Also was reading this: https://theprayingwoman.com/when-god-doesnt-approve-of-your-relationship/ and it reminded me of the last recent time I caught her online talking to other men.

The night before I prayed for god to show me a sign, and the very next morning she’s laying in bed with the phone on. I went to turn on her seizure watch, and she was so tired from staying up the whole night with them on the phone, that she didn’t even close out the messages they were all there for me to see.

It’s just, it’s still painful, knowing that they are incapable of loving you back fully, it’s quite sad to know they are in that state.

I know god is a god of reconciliation, but I guess he would of given me a reconciliation sign instead of that one, but like an idiot a few weeks after went back again, then she went crazy and was admitted, then went back again until this time.

I feel kind of stupid for even talking about this I literally took forgive 7 x 70 to heart, given we’ve broken up probably close to hundreds of times.

Feel so stupid to go back to someone who did such insane heinous things over and over, thinking I would somehow help them change, when god was telling me to obviously leave.

 

[GdaxBbb]

Or maybe I shouldn’t look at it in such absolute forms, maybe there was a time and a season for everything. Instead of the whole time being bad, or all good. I guess in reality everything is good, as God does all things for our good.

He used that time to refine myself, and help her out too, on a scale of 1-10 she’s 10x better then what she used to be, but still nowhere near for a proper working relationship.

Maybe God now will hopefully heal her to where she needs to be, and help us both grow.

 

[Aerials1978]

Also was reading this: https://theprayingwoman.com/when-god-doesnt-approve-of-your-relationship/ and it reminded me of the last recent time I caught her online talking to other men.

The night before I prayed for god to show me a sign, and the very next morning she’s laying in bed with the phone on. I went to turn on her seizure watch, and she was so tired from staying up the whole night with them on the phone, that she didn’t even close out the messages they were all there for me to see.

It’s just, it’s still painful, knowing that they are incapable of loving you back fully, it’s quite sad to know they are in that state.

I know god is a god of reconciliation, but I guess he would of given me a reconciliation sign instead of that one, but like an idiot a few weeks after went back again, then she went crazy and was admitted, then went back again until this time.

I feel kind of stupid for even talking about this I literally took forgive 7 x 70 to heart, given we’ve broken up probably close to hundreds of times.

Feel so stupid to go back to someone who did such insane heinous things over and over, thinking I would somehow help them change, when god was telling me to obviously leave.

Good to hear from you. Don’t feel stupid, for all us want to feel secure in all that we do. When that becomes uncertain we become very uneasy and apprehensive. Fear might even set in because of the unknown.

All I can attest to is if God is really speaking to you, you will absolutely know it if you are truly seeking Him. He will not mislead you. I hate you use this overused phrase, but there are a lot of red flags from what you are describing.

 

[Billyd]

Hi,

I’ll try to make it as quick as possible. Been with girlfriend for 13-14 years. Has epilepsy so couldn’t get married or she would lose her insurance. When we first met the day before we both prayed to find the person we’re supposed to be with then we met each other.

Also other super natural signs happened like god telling us “I love you” when mentioning Jesus’ name.

The problem is she had / has severe past issues where it caused her to be a highly manipulative, abusive, controlling, and down right selfish.

Never trusts me, always suspicious.
Basically very limited amounts of love in her. She’s virtually cheated online 3-4x before, even most recently.

If she went outside the house I’m pretty sure it would of been in person, as that’s what all the studies say suggest. Has double standards she knows right from wrong, those apply to you but not her.

She claims she’s a “Christian” and she reads here and there talks about the end times and the Bible in general, but there is no fruit in her life and she doesn’t do the fathers will. Nobody is perfect obviously but she’s not even close. Doesn’t go to church always makes excuses stays up late.

Like a year in we made a vow between us two and god to be married to each other and be with each other always.

I’m just at loss why god would basically show me all these amazing signs and answer to prayer if he knew how this relationship would turn out?

I know some people suffered for a very long time in the Bible like around 13 years, but I don’t know if I can go on any longer.

She doesn’t love me, the true definition of biblical love just words. Doesn’t cook, clean, look nice for me, wake up on time, work, go to school.

She most likely has borderline personality disorder. She is 100% not a partner but literally a burden, she’s incapable of doing anything for herself, well she is, she just chooses to have others do things for her. It’s like being in a relationship with your own selfish child. Completely irresponsible.

While I have to work, buy food, go out for her all the time and get her stuff while she contributes absolutely nothing to the relationship besides sorrow and emotional pain.

I know we’re supposed to suffer for Christ, and I would suffer for him while my life if it was his will. But even the people in the Bible who did majority had visions signs of great things to come I have nothing.

I literally feel like Job, even Jobs suffering eventually passed. I guess Jobs wife was pretty awful person too and he was married to her. Or when god told the old testament guy to keep taking Gomer his prostitute cheating wife back over and over.

I have so much resentment and pain, every time I even see a girl with makeup looking like a girl is supposed to it brings me sorrow knowing she robbed me youthful appearances, when in Proverbs it mentions to enjoy the wife of your youth.

Don’t get me wrong if it wasn’t for these things she would be a perfect match personality wise. It’s just I get so tired carrying her on my back with nothing in return besides companionship.

Am I supposed to stay in this sort of one sided loveless relationship for gods glory through suffering or call it quits?

Please pray and see if god speaks a word, I’m so tired.

Thank You

My friend, after reading all you comments following your OP, I am going to be blunt with you. I have come to the same conclusion that I had when I read the first line of your OP.

"I’ll try to make it as quick as possible. Been with girlfriend for 13-14 years. Has epilepsy so couldn’t get married or she would lose her insurance."

She has epilepsy and you are afraid to get married. She would lose her insurance is just an excuse to support your fear.

I have epilepsy. I've been married to Mama for almost 60 years. Neither of us would trade our life for anything else.

I don't see God anywhere near your relationship. It's time for you to wake up. Make a commitment to marry her and support her for better or worse, or walk away and let God send her a person who is willing to do so. God wants you to come together as one, not spend your time looking for excuses not to. God commands us to love our spouse as he has loved us. That love is not finding faults with her behavior. I suggest that you physically separate for a season. Spend that period studying the word love as God defines it in scripture. Also pray for God's guidance in evaluating your future relationship.

If you and she can't come together as one, God isn't in your relationship, nor will he ever be.