If a Party Were Held For Introverts, Would Anyone Show Up? (Or Would the Extroverts Crash the Party?)

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BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
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I've survived by basically locking myself away from the world the rest of the time.
This is how I gain energy and it’s not because I don’t like people, it’s because I get socially exhausted easily. More on this later, got some things I want to share but have to get back to work lol sigh.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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Introversion is NOT THE SAME as having social anxiety people.
Whoever said introversion is acting in a fearful way does not even understand what introversion is.

Introverts socialise in a completely different way to extroverts. Introversions draw their strength from their own thoughts and feelings on the inside..they are being internally focused

extroverts are people who draw their strength from others ..ex meaning external.

speaking of Moses one of the reasons why God picked Moses was because he was quite introverted, he didnt do things to be popular or please other people! If he had, there was NO WAY God would have wanted him to lead everyone out of Egypt because imagine if Moses started to cave and do whatever the Pharoah wanted just to be popular.

we know leading the Israelites out of .egypt wasnt an easy task either and Moses soon got exhausted dealing with everyones problems! When he was away up the mountain talking to God the israelites were partying and making a golden calf idol.
 

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
1,617
1,671
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Introversion is NOT THE SAME as having social anxiety people.
Whoever said introversion is acting in a fearful way does not even understand what introversion is.
This is true... anyone can have social anxiety.
 
Aug 3, 2019
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Hey Everyone,

I've been thinking a lot lately about introverts vs. extroverts and am wondering what all of your experiences have been.

I wrote in another post that I never really identified with either term until a few years ago, when I started to realize that I seemed to relate to the traits of introverts much more than extroverts. If anyone remembers the old Fantastic Four movies, there's a scene in which Susan Storm (played by Jessica Alba) is throwing all her strength into keeping up a force field, and it takes such a toll on her body that her nose starts to bleed profusely.

This is also how I feel when I'm pulled in too many directions, too often, and by too many people -- it starts to feel as if my soul is on the verge of a breaking into a massive hemorrhage.

I realize that many times in life, we have no choice (such as with work), but I'm also realizing that sometimes my lack of energy around socially demanding situations can keep me from obeying God's will for my life. I had a recent situation in which I was invited to a church event and declined, only to feel the next day that God was saying I should have put my own feelings aside and gone.

And so, I'm wondering how you all classify yourselves and how it affects your life.

* Are you an introvert or extrovert, and how did you realize it? What is your own personal definition of being an introvert or an extrovert?

* Did you grow up in a family of introverts or extroverts (were they the same as you, or the opposite of you), and did it help or hurt you?

* Do you feel uncomfortable around your opposites? (Are introverts uncomfortable around extroverts, and are extroverts uncomfortable around introverts?)

* How does being an introvert or extrovert affect your decisions when searching for a spouse, and would you want a spouse who was in the same category as you, or the opposite?

And, as a bonus question:

* Do you think being an introvert or extrovert changes over time? Sometimes back and forth?

This is something I'm pondering for my own self as well. I have often wondered if I started out as an extrovert but that some of life's challenges made it feel safer to retreat into a shell.

Thank you for sharing and I'll be very interested in reading your stories.
Hello, KYLIE78, Extro, but I'll withdraw from unwelcome toxicity in a heartbeat, like anyone would. As a Christian, I would treat my love with the such gentleness that it wouldn't matter whether she was the one or the other. Social anxiety is real and we should all do our best to make those who struggle with it feel loved, valued, accepted, wanted, respected...that they might have not the slightest reservation about choosing to keep company with us. :)
 

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2009
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@seoulsearch So were you able to come up with an excuse to get out of watching those people's kids? If so, what was the excuse? I still wonder to this day... :unsure:
 
Aug 3, 2019
3,744
507
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Introversion is NOT THE SAME as having social anxiety people.
Whoever said introversion is acting in a fearful way does not even understand what introversion is.

Introverts socialise in a completely different way to extroverts. Introversions draw their strength from their own thoughts and feelings on the inside..they are being internally focused

extroverts are people who draw their strength from others ..ex meaning external.

speaking of Moses one of the reasons why God picked Moses was because he was quite introverted, he didnt do things to be popular or please other people! If he had, there was NO WAY God would have wanted him to lead everyone out of Egypt because imagine if Moses started to cave and do whatever the Pharoah wanted just to be popular.

we know leading the Israelites out of .egypt wasnt an easy task either and Moses soon got exhausted dealing with everyones problems! When he was away up the mountain talking to God the israelites were partying and making a golden calf idol.
"Most Islamists are not terrorists but most terrorists are Islamists." It's kinda the same thing with Introverts and those with Social Anxiety.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,278
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Interesting delineation there phoneman, and a very apropos analogy.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
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"Most Islamists are not terrorists but most terrorists are Islamists." It's kinda the same thing with Introverts and those with Social Anxiety.
um. not really.

thats what you think but there are also christian terrorists too, unfortunately. Northern Ireland anyone. Salem witch trials. Crusades.

Social anxiety is more people that suffer from autism or aspergers, they cannot relate to people or respond to facial expressions, so that makes them unable to go out, or things are too overwhelming for them and they get overstimulated. Its not quite the same as just wanting to be private or being drained from being around lots of people. People with social anxiety actually get panic attacks if they do go out, or think about going out, and then to think of worst case scenarios and worry too much.

Introverts arent worried. Really. we arent. we just prefer peace and quiet.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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if you do hapoen to suffer social anxiety going to an introverts party will be ok for you, you will be safe.

if you do suffer from it you may need to see a counsellor about it, often its just related to a trauma and triggers, at least talk to someone about it rather than hide away. You can talk to someone on the phone. Or talk to God. Hes always there for you.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
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@seoulsearch So were you able to come up with an excuse to get out of watching those people's kids? If so, what was the excuse? I still wonder to this day... :unsure:

Hi Zero,

I guess the ironic thing about my life is that I grew up in a family of workalohics, with "idol hands being the devil's workshop."

For a long stretch of time, I was in school and working 2-3 jobs, so even when I wasn't working, I was at the library or buried under stacks of books.

And even when I "cut down" to "just" one full-time job (for a while, I also worked another job on my days off), I then filled most of the extra time with church activities. At that time, I had left school and was just working, and because I didn't have to study in all my free time, I joked with my family that it almost felt like being retired ("Seriously? All I have to do now is WORK?")

This is why I say I'm an introvert who can masquerade as an extrovert when needed, and also the reason why I never realized I was an introvert up until a few years ago. I'm finding the secondary discussions here about anxiety to be interesting, because I know I suffer from anxiety but I'm not sure to what degree it would be diagnosed. But the way I was brought up, responsibility trumped everything else, and so I learned to put the bulk of my fears aside (or hide them well.)

I finally realized I couldn't keep up the break-neck pace that the rest of my family has managed to do all their lives, so aside from work, I cut back some of my volunteer activities, which is why I always chide and fight with myself for being so "lazy" -- compared to the rest of my family members, I'm a couch potato.

People also saw me in very isolated environments and assumed that the times they saw me were the only times I ever did anything in life, lol. They didn't really have an interest in what my life was really like, so they just assumed I "wasn't doing anything else" and that I had all the free time in the world.

I wouldn't even need to come up with an excuse, I'd just have to tell them I had other obligations, even if was just trying to get some much-needed sleep between jobs or classes!
 

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2009
24,644
4,305
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Hi Zero,

I guess the ironic thing about my life is that I grew up in a family of workalohics, with "idol hands being the devil's workshop."

For a long stretch of time, I was in school and working 2-3 jobs, so even when I wasn't working, I was at the library or buried under stacks of books.

And even when I "cut down" to "just" one full-time job (for a while, I also worked another job on my days off), I then filled most of the extra time with church activities. At that time, I had left school and was just working, and because I didn't have to study in all my free time, I joked with my family that it almost felt like being retired ("Seriously? All I have to do now is WORK?")

This is why I say I'm an introvert who can masquerade as an extrovert when needed, and also the reason why I never realized I was an introvert up until a few years ago. I'm finding the secondary discussions here about anxiety to be interesting, because I know I suffer from anxiety but I'm not sure to what degree it would be diagnosed. But the way I was brought up, responsibility trumped everything else, and so I learned to put the bulk of my fears aside (or hide them well.)

I finally realized I couldn't keep up the break-neck pace that the rest of my family has managed to do all their lives, so aside from work, I cut back some of my volunteer activities, which is why I always chide and fight with myself for being so "lazy" -- compared to the rest of my family members, I'm a couch potato.

People also saw me in very isolated environments and assumed that the times they saw me were the only times I ever did anything in life, lol. They didn't really have an interest in what my life was really like, so they just assumed I "wasn't doing anything else" and that I had all the free time in the world.

I wouldn't even need to come up with an excuse, I'd just have to tell them I had other obligations, even if was just trying to get some much-needed sleep between jobs or classes!
I really did wonder how that turned out. Now I know. My dad was a workaholic too. I always try to keep myself busy. So much so that I keep getting injured and re-injured by trying to do too much (my knee, my foot, my back, my shoulder), but I can't let things sit. It's been months since I've been able to walk properly and I thought I finally was healed after Christmas, but new years day I decided to organize the garage and there was this big heavy bin under a counter that I tried to move and couldn't so I pulled on it real hard and my knee started hurting again. It still bothers me today. I'm so flipping sick of it.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,440
5,387
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I really did wonder how that turned out. Now I know. My dad was a workaholic too. I always try to keep myself busy. So much so that I keep getting injured and re-injured by trying to do too much (my knee, my foot, my back, my shoulder), but I can't let things sit. It's been months since I've been able to walk properly and I thought I finally was healed after Christmas, but new years day I decided to organize the garage and there was this big heavy bin under a counter that I tried to move and couldn't so I pulled on it real hard and my knee started hurting again. It still bothers me today. I'm so flipping sick of it.
I'm so sorry to hear this, Zero.

I know you've written about several challenges that you've faced over the years, and I'm always sorry to hear you've endured so many hardships. :cry: I understand what you're saying about always trying to keep busy -- I just hope you'll stop getting injured! :( It's funny coincidence that you mentioned getting re-injured. I've been in a lot of work situations where I had to lift/move a ton of cases, boxes, etc., and I popped my shoulder several years ago while lifting a box.

I've seen a lot of people who have lost their mobility, so I try to push myself to stay as active as I can. A few days ago, I was working on a weight machine and wouldn't you know it, I popped my shoulder yet again after all these years.

So I can totally relate with trying to "give it your all", and then just winding up injuring yourself again. I have a hard time knowing when something is painful because of a "real" injury or because the body just isn't used to it, so I sometimes push too far. Even now I'm debating on whether I'll be back on that machine again tomorrow, or if I should wait another day or so.

You will definitely be in my prayers.

I know you think that no one sees you, but I can assure you that we do.

This past year, I've been through airports a little more often than usual, and every time I see all those planes, I always smile and think, "Look, it's Zero's Sleeping Giants!" :)

I really hope that you feel better soon.
 
Aug 3, 2019
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um. not really.

thats what you think but there are also christian terrorists too, unfortunately. Northern Ireland anyone. Salem witch trials. Crusades.
Hi, friend, I'm sure you'll agree that historic events are irrelevant in a discussion about who "are" now currently most likely to commit acts of terrorism (excluding U. S. alphabet agencies LOL). Statistically speaking, they are Islamists, hands down, so my previous statement is correct that "most Islamists are not terorrists, but most terrorosts are Islamists and most Introverts are not suffering with Social Anxiety, but more who suffer from it are Introverts."

BTW, anyone who calls their self a Christian but employs any other evangelistic weapons except the inspired Sword and prayer knows nothing of the Christ they claim to serve, while Islam not only commands subjugation by force but rewards the most extreme of the faith with "72 Virgins", right or wrong?
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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am not getting into an argument with anyone who equates introverts with terrorists. Or even uses that comparison. Just DONT.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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I think workaholics just dont know how to relax, which is kind of self centred in a way, because they are not God. The world will not collapse if they take a day off, at least once a week. God actually mandated this.

if you havent had a break in 7 years YOU NEED TO TAKE A SABBATICAL.
it will be better for everyone because nobody wants to work around a grumpy workaholic who drives everyone insane.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
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Well my introvert party is officially scheduled. Board Games at cinder's place at 2 PM Saturday. Or at least that's what I told my handful of co-workers who I think might enjoy playing board games.
 

17Bees

Senior Member
Oct 14, 2016
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Well my introvert party is officially scheduled. Board Games at cinder's place at 2 PM Saturday. Or at least that's what I told my handful of co-workers who I think might enjoy playing board games.
Good. I'm board already :cool::sneaky: