If a Party Were Held For Introverts, Would Anyone Show Up? (Or Would the Extroverts Crash the Party?)

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JustEli

Well-known member
Dec 23, 2018
1,374
983
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#81
Manoman, that was way too much reading, so I stopped.

I have been doing some casual noticing of this very subject. Several times in
the last few weeks (twice) I overheard some people (teenage girls) at the grocery
claiming to be introverts, one said she was a situational introvert.



Sure got me to thinking
and noticing.....................




Introverts in.
Big mean not scared of social interaction flirty competitive outgoing etc. etc.
extroverts out.
not only out but with a boot from someone two rows back, Cause they
want to remain anonymous. hahahahahaha

Really though, no one (generalities) wants to come off as boorish, crass, or dummyish.
And the very word extrovert is seemingly synonymous with the aforementioned.

All almost jokes aside, yes I would attend said party, turn the music up, make sure we all
drink almost too much, and of course try to ensure all have way too much fun.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
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#82
dance parties are fine, but it depends on the music, we dont go on for ages because introverts are somewhat sensitive to the type of music played. if its chumbawaumba and we are the champions maybe not.

But if its music were you can find your own groove, its fine. People drink (alcohol) to loosen up because they often feel they just cant be themselves without drinking, which is a bit of a shame.

a lot of churches assume rock anthems are what eveyone likes so thats what they tend to play as worship music but there are so many different types of music and not everyone has to be loud to be heard. God isnt deaf.
 

JustEli

Well-known member
Dec 23, 2018
1,374
983
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#83
Once upon a time, my friend and I would sit outside our favorite establishment
waiting for the inevitable 5 o'clock event, fights arguments unruly dancing and general fun.
5 am never seemed to fail.

Sometimes though, we found ourselves right in the middle of said event and had to ride
the wave all the way in................................. oh what fun were those days.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#84
meh I fall asleep at those things.
I once fell asleep in a club that was playing really loud bad music, Im just like eveyone else can have 'fun' Im need my beauty sleep. lol

then introverts get dissed for being antisocial when they really just were social and with people all day at work why the need to go and spend even MORE time around people than necessary lol.
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
4,058
3,172
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#85
It’s just a matter of comfort zone. If you step out of your comfort zone, it only expands. Step out Seoulsearch. This way the Lord can use you more.

This whole idea of introverts and extroverts, is just a facade to some degree. People are people, with unique personalities and introverted-ness is fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, and fear of the unknown. It’s all tied up in fear, and while justified due to circumstances or events that have happened in their life, they have allowed such things to define them. To limit them. I myself have moments of being introverted, and it all goes back to being self conscious.

It seems that the answer to being an introvert, is finding peace in the mirror. Confidence in who you are, acceptance, and walking as the person God has made you to be. Now, granted, not everyone is meant to have charismatic stage presence as we all have our own personalities, this doesn’t mean that we can’t be expressive.

Any person I’ve met that they are super shy and quiet immediately open up when you make them feel comfortable, ask them questions and let the conversation go at their pace. If it becomes quiet, then you start talking making points and then again ask them what they think. People just need to feel comfortable.

Certain topics light people up. Find that topic and let them shine. They will smile, their countenance changes.

I am not saying people aren’t an introvert or extrovert, or have tendencies towards one or the other, and I am sorry if me suggesting introverts need a solution is offensive. My point is that what some people define as being an introvert, is really just fear.

Don’t let fear run your life. Sometimes introverts need a kick in the butt, and once they get going they realize it’s actually a lot easier than anticipated. They think “Oh they are laughing at my jokes” and “I keep making them smile” and you realize that what you were worried about you actually enjoy, because love is fulfilling. Walking in love with friends, family, and people just makes the air you breath that much fresher. The grass that much greener.

Don’t let fear rob you of love.
100% false. Introverts are not fearful. You have an utter and total misunderstanding of what introverts are.
Introvert does not mean shy or afraid antisocial. Introverts are givers. Conversation for an introvert typically means they are giving and being drained in the process of conversation. This is why introverts tend to be less social. They isolate to recharge their batteries.
Introverts can be social creatures, they simply tend to be more particular about who they give their time to since they are giving of themselves when they do socialize. Some introverts can be quite social, but are still limited by the draining nature of social interactions.
Its ignorant and unhealthy attitudes like yours that damage people and cause them to further retreat from social situations.
Extroversion is not the "right" way to be. Neither one is right, or wrong, just different and the world as a whole benefits greatly from Both sides.
Rosa Parks was an introvert. Does she strike you as fearful?
Albert Eistein, did he need a kick in the butt?
Bill Gates, didn't need to find peace in the mirror.
Because introverts don't need a solution or an answer because there is nothing wrong with them.
These are not personal interpretations but things I have learned are what define what an introvert is.

When I was young it was attitudes like yours that damaged me and made me feel defective, like I was being alive wrong, a mistake. Pushed me further away from people as a whole. It Made me fearful of people, not the other way around.
Few facts and lots of assumptions have lead you to false and damaging thinking.
 
M

morefaithrequired

Guest
#87
can you have introverted salesmen? introverts would not be suited to doing customer service jobs all day..
 

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
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Philippines Age 40
#88

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
113
Philippines Age 40
#89
can you have introverted salesmen? introverts would not be suited to doing customer service jobs all day..


Robert Kiyosaki was shy. He must be an introvert for sure. But he learned sales and became the top salesman in his company. An extrovert might be a born leader but an introvert can be a learned leader.
 
M

morefaithrequired

Guest
#90
Robert Kiyosaki was shy. He must be an introvert for sure. But he learned sales and became the top salesman in his company. An extrovert might be a born leader but an introvert can be a learned leader.
are we getting shyness and introversion confused again? there is overlap for sure
 

Solemateleft

Honor, Courage, Commitment
Jun 25, 2017
13,786
4,003
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#94
23 of the Most Amazingly Successful Introverts in History

1. Albert Einstein; 2. Rosa Parks; 3. Bill Gates; 4. Steven Spielberg; 5. Sir Isaac Newton; 6. Eleanor Roosevelt; 7. Mark Zuckerberg; 8. Larry Page; 9. Al Gore; 10. Marissa Mayer; 11. Abraham Lincoln; 12. JK Rowling; 13. Warren Buffett; 14. Mahatma Gandhi; 15. Hillary Clinton; 16. Michael Jordan; 17. Charles Darwin; 18. Meryl Streep; 19. Elon Musk; 20. Dr. Seuss; 21. Frederic Chopin; 22. Steve Wozniak; 23. Barack Obama
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1577591397036.png
 

love_comes_softly

Well-known member
Feb 13, 2019
768
823
93
#95
I really enjoyed reading all the posts. After reading, I’ve decided that I have no idea what I am. Perhaps a mix of both.

I am naturally an observer and prefer not to be the center of attention for any reason.

I love to get to know people and am very curious and don’t mind sharing my curiosity in small groups.

I am a teacher and have no problems taking the lead when it comes to work, but I prefer to be behind the scenes for everything else.

I am 100% someone who needs quiet time after awhile of being surrounded by people.

So, I’d definitely go to the party and enjoy whatever activities are taking place as long as I didn’t stand out.

I think over time I have changed a lot. Before coming to know the Lord personally, I was shy, but very opinionated and was vocal about how I felt and what I thought.

After knowing coming to know the Lord, I still have lots of thoughts, but I do not share them most of the time. However, I’m not as shy as I used to be. It’s quite interesting.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,426
2,416
113
#96
can you have introverted salesmen? introverts would not be suited to doing customer service jobs all day..
Yes and a lot of it depends on how you define customer service. I work at a coporate help desk right now and perhaps slightly atypically for an introvert taking calls doesn't bother me to much (unless I've got a big project I'm in the middle of and then I hate the interruptions), but I have a much more difficult time making the calls out to people. But I'm pretty okay with a customer service idea that is about listening to the customer and helping them accomplish what they need to in the best way possible, unfortunately a lot of time customer service becomes convince the customer they need all these other services we want to sell them and doing that conflicts with my sense of integrity. Granted even with the job of taking calls, I don't feel like being around people much after work. But my bosses have always been happy enough with my work so I guess I can do my job well enough.
 
M

morefaithrequired

Guest
#97
i was a teacher for many years. if i had my time over again i would have done a more behind the scenes job. still you get paid better for being at the coal-face ...usually.
im a lazy introvert. other people are hard work.
 

BenFTW

Senior Member
Oct 7, 2012
4,834
981
113
34
#98
100% false. Introverts are not fearful. You have an utter and total misunderstanding of what introverts are.
Introvert does not mean shy or afraid antisocial. Introverts are givers. Conversation for an introvert typically means they are giving and being drained in the process of conversation. This is why introverts tend to be less social. They isolate to recharge their batteries.
Introverts can be social creatures, they simply tend to be more particular about who they give their time to since they are giving of themselves when they do socialize. Some introverts can be quite social, but are still limited by the draining nature of social interactions.
Its ignorant and unhealthy attitudes like yours that damage people and cause them to further retreat from social situations.
Extroversion is not the "right" way to be. Neither one is right, or wrong, just different and the world as a whole benefits greatly from Both sides.
Rosa Parks was an introvert. Does she strike you as fearful?
Albert Eistein, did he need a kick in the butt?
Bill Gates, didn't need to find peace in the mirror.
Because introverts don't need a solution or an answer because there is nothing wrong with them.
These are not personal interpretations but things I have learned are what define what an introvert is.

When I was young it was attitudes like yours that damaged me and made me feel defective, like I was being alive wrong, a mistake. Pushed me further away from people as a whole. It Made me fearful of people, not the other way around.
Few facts and lots of assumptions have lead you to false and damaging thinking.
What if I told you that the introvert I was describing was me? Would you still call it damaging? Wouldn’t you agree that some introverts are introverted because of fear? You see, maybe I am what you guys would describe as a shy extrovert, but my introverted-ness is based in being self-conscious. That is fear.

Maybe my brush was swiped too broadly to encompass all introverts but surely it describes some? I know I have at times felt hindered by fear, and as a result acted in an introverted way.

I can see this topic is very personal to you and I’m sorry if my post sparked something in you, that wasn’t pleasant. I don’t mean to make you or anyone feel like an alien or living as a mistake, and my intent was only to encourage any introvert that is introverted as a result of fear. They exist.

Maybe I am misinformed on this topic, but I can only describe to you my experience with extroversion and introversion on a personal level.
 

Solemateleft

Honor, Courage, Commitment
Jun 25, 2017
13,786
4,003
113
What if I told you that the introvert I was describing was me? Would you still call it damaging? Wouldn’t you agree that some introverts are introverted because of fear? You see, maybe I am what you guys would describe as a shy extrovert, but my introverted-ness is based in being self-conscious. That is fear.

Maybe my brush was swiped too broadly to encompass all introverts but surely it describes some? I know I have at times felt hindered by fear, and as a result acted in an introverted way.

I can see this topic is very personal to you and I’m sorry if my post sparked something in you, that wasn’t pleasant. I don’t mean to make you or anyone feel like an alien or living as a mistake, and my intent was only to encourage any introvert that is introverted as a result of fear. They exist.

Maybe I am misinformed on this topic, but I can only describe to you my experience with extroversion and introversion on a personal level.
I guess some people see the glass as half full, while others see it as half empty...
I on the other hand strive to understand the science that helps us to better understand the available data and how best to possibly assess the data to ensure an 'informed' understanding of the basis for our respective perspectives...

The scientific difference is explained as differences in reward systems - that are essentially in-grained preferences that are wired within the respective nervous systems that they were born into...
That being said, I guess fear could be a mis-placed interpretation, understanding or perception of those who are afraid to try to do or be something that they are not intended to be; or the flawed perception that those who are unable to be more like me - simply must be afraid - to try to be more like me...

Why Introverts and Extroverts Are Different: The Science
“The dopamine difference
One major difference between the brains of introverts and extroverts is the way we respond to the neurotransmitter dopamine. Dopamine is a chemical released in the brain that provides the motivation to seek external rewards like earning money, climbing the social ladder, attracting a mate, or getting selected for a high-profile project at work. When dopamine floods the brain, both introverts and extroverts become more talkative, alert to their surroundings, and motivated to take risks and explore the environment.

It’s not that introverts have less dopamine present in their brains than extroverts do. In fact, both introverts and extroverts have the same amount of dopamine available. The difference is in the activity of the dopamine reward network. It is more active in the brains of extroverts than in the brains of introverts…”

“For introverts, acetylcholine is where it’s at
Introverts prefer to use a different neurotransmitter called acetylcholine… Like dopamine, acetylcholine is also linked to pleasure; the difference is, acetylcholine makes us feel good when we turn inward. It powers our abilities to think deeply, reflect, and focus intensely on just one thing for a long period of time. It also helps explain why introverts like calm environments—it’s easier to turn inward when we’re not attending to external stimulation.

Nervous system differences
Another piece of the introvert-extrovert puzzle has to do with the nervous system... Acetylcholine is linked to the parasympathetic side of the nervous system, which is nicknamed the “throttle down” or “rest-and-digest” side. When we engage the parasympathetic side, our body conserves energy, and we withdraw from the outer environment. Our muscles relax; energy is stored; food is metabolized; pupils constrict to limit incoming light; and our heart rate and blood pressure lower. Basically, our body gets ready for hibernation and contemplation—two of the things introverts like the most.”