If a Party Were Held For Introverts, Would Anyone Show Up? (Or Would the Extroverts Crash the Party?)

[seoulsearch]

It’s interesting to see the unity of introverts and extroverts in the context of the Church and how it functions. Reminds me of the support role you mentioned in a previous discussion. How essential each are to each other, for all things to go smoothly.

It very much reminds me of passages about the parts of the Body of Christ, and how they all work together, and could not function as a complete body if one were missing.

Extroverts might be the eyes -- right in front and the first thing everyone sees and notices -- but the eyes would just sit there all day if it wasn't for the feet, unseen and tucked away under socks and shoes.

 

[morefaithrequired]

Then theres the cyber context versus real life context. How many introverts suddenly find their inner extrovert online?

 

[BenFTW]

@seoulsearch This conversation has me wondering, how much do you appreciate being appreciated? Doing the behind the scenes work, do you find someone expressing their gratitude for your work extremely satisfying?

I wonder who finds it more fulfilling, the extrovert or the introvert? It being praise or gratitude of one’s work. Is it for the extrovert a common occurrence and for the introvert, seldom yet necessary? Or is it the other way, the extrovert needing it?

 

[Tinkerbell725]

 

[seoulsearch]

Then theres the cyber context versus real life context. How many introverts suddenly find their inner extrovert online?

This is an EXCELLENT point, More!!!

Especially with online trolling, etc. (I'm specifically thinking of people who criticize other's bodies, how they raise their kids, etc.)

I often imagine some of the loudest, angriest voices on the internet as being people who feel very small in real life, perhaps barely speaking above a whisper.

 

[seoulsearch]

View attachment 208875 View attachment 208876

I really wish we could give out multiple emoji's to a post, because Tinkerbell's post literally made me burst out laughing!

 

[morefaithrequired]

Then there are biverts. People who are both extraverted and introverted. Thats basically all of us. No one is a pure extrovert or introvert...according to Jung.

 

[17Bees]

Then there are biverts. People who are both extraverted and introverted. Thats basically all of us. No one is a pure extrovert or introvert...according to Jung.

Except when introverts find out they're biverts they go in to the closet.

 

[seoulsearch]

@seoulsearch This conversation has me wondering, how much do you appreciate being appreciated? Doing the behind the scenes work, do you find someone expressing their gratitude for your work extremely satisfying?

I wonder who finds it more fulfilling, the extrovert or the introvert? It being praise or gratitude of one’s work. Is it for the extrovert a common occurrence and for the introvert, seldom yet necessary? Or is it the other way, the extrovert needing it?

Ben, you ask GREAT questions. Thank you so much.

I do think the need for praise is very much an individual thing. When I was younger, I used to be more of a people-pleaser -- now I'm more concerned about just getting the job done efficiently and well. But yes, I VERY MUCH appreciate it if someone recognizes behind-the-scenes work. However, my main sense of accomplishment comes from knowing that I could contribute to something that helped someone else (especially a leader I'm assigned to or choosing to work for -- that puts me right in the midst of my midwife calling.)

For example, cleaning the toys in the children's rooms was no easy task. First of all, there were 4 rooms, so there were A LOT of toys to clean. We had 4 women on our team so we were each assigned to go in after every Sunday of the month.

At first, they were using bleach water, and it was making me horribly sick, even though I used gloves. I would clean early Saturday morning and then be throwing up the rest of the day. But I didn't want to seem like the big team wimp and I certainly didn't want to use anything else because I wanted to make sure the toys were properly sanitized (after sanitizing, we made sure the toys were thoroughly cleaned and dried so the kids weren't exposed to the bleach.)

Because we all worked separately, it wasn't until several months later that I (and our group leader) found it it was making at least 1 other team member sick as well, so we eventually had to petition the church to spend the money on a much more expensive sanitizer with no odor that didn't make any of us sick. So this is just a very small example of what behind the scenes people might be going through, and of course, we would love a little bit of appreciation. But, the fact that no one really knows about it is also a good reminder that we are doing this for God and not for recognition.

I think many extroverts crave the attention and the acknowledgement a bit more -- maybe it's part of their personality as an extrovert -- but yes, if you have a chance to recognize someone behind the scenes, please do so.

You just might be make whatever bad experience they might have had well worth the trouble.

 

[seoulsearch]

We are complex aren't we, and all the more so when we have been through a lot of difficult stuff....I don't really know what I am lol... I'm just however God made me I guess... I can identify with you SoulSearch and also with Ben... I think when I was little I was extrovert for reasons to do with my upbringing, and I know that when I feel compassion for people I just have to reach out to them but whether that makes me extrovert I'm not sure because I remember after I had been baptised in the Spirit, about 23 years back, I still recall as clear as anything, that I was at peace for 3 days and I just had this quietness about me, a contentment; and it makes me think that God made me to be sometimes quiet and sometimes to talk a lot. I think regardless of how our upbringings etc have affected us, ultimately we find our real identity in Him, we discover who we really are and who He made us to be, and we are free, free to just be ourselves, and accept ourselves, because afterall, if He accepts us then who is anyone else not to accept us🙂I appreciate what Ben said about considering what others need in our interaction with them, I guess it's bearing with one another and showing love but ultimately if I am just resting in being the 'me' that God made then it's all okay, and sometimes other people not being at ease with me can be something they personally need to deal with and isnot my problem- I know someone who has an issue with trying to control; there are some ways in people I am not going to accommodate and I have peace with that.
SoulSearch, when you said your extrovert ways were maybe part of why your ex left, I have to say, that is a cruel thing to say about yourself. I'm sure many would agree with me that you are an amazing person of integrity and thoughtfulness. Whatever your personality etc. it is not valid as part of the reason for someone being unfaithful-that is his problem, unfaithfulness, and when someone has that problem, it doesn't matter how you are, or how you are not, or what you do or don't do, they are unfaithful in their hearts, and God knows.
Please forgive my boldness, but I was sorry to read what you wrote about how others have failed you so badly... and ... well I have had some shattering things happen in my life, and one of the worst, the Lord brought to my attention about 15 years after and He sent 2 ladies to minister to me in prayer. To be honest I didn't want them to pray for me at the time lol, I just wanted to stay inside my shell of depression and hide away...anyway thankfully they were bold enough, and I got healed and set free that day... I have never been the same since, bless His Holy Name...and so I just wanted to share that He has healed my heart and shown me stuff I never knew about myself ... and I am reminded of the scripture, 'we are complete in Him'... He has all we need doesn't He, and He is faithful... and as you said earlier, 'working all things together for our good'....
With love dear Sister
God bless🙏🏻❤️x

@Butterflyy,

I wanted to thank you so much for your post.

I think, at this stage in my life, I'm kind of looking back and reflecting on the things I know I did wrong, and hopefully, in the future, will do better. I don't want to blame everything on other people in my past and not acknowledge the facts that I know I did a lot of wrong too.

In fact, this is the very reason why I try to start these discussions -- I'm hoping that I can learn how to handle things in a better way in the future.

Thank you so very much for your kind words.

You are beautiful and your compassionate heart has been evident all over the forum. It's funny how depression becomes like a warm blanket, and we get to a point where we never want to go out from under its cover.

Praise God that He sent those 2 women to care for you, and thank you for sharing your love to others on this site. <3

 

[morefaithrequired]

Except when introverts find out they're biverts they go in to the closet.

id like to see some extroverts go back in the closet.

 

[morefaithrequired]

what do you think of transverts?
introverts who want to become extroverts and vice versa?
i mean it is courageous in a way.

 

[seoulsearch]

what do you think of transverts?
introverts who want to become extroverts and vice versa?
i mean it is courageous in a way.

I actually think this is what happened to me.

I think I started out as an extrovert, while existential circumstances pushed my introverted tendencies towards mutiny, and they eventually took over my identity.

Now I'm wondering which bathroom I'll be allowed to use in public.

 

[Solemateleft]

what do you think of transverts?
introverts who want to become extroverts and vice versa?
i mean it is courageous in a way.

Reminds me of the poor kids who are born introverts and the parents dress them up and raise them as extroverts... and then when they are adults they are left confused and wondering if they should have a vert-change procedure...

 

[Dino246]

...
Please don't disregard introverts or think that they are somehow less useful to others or to God. Here are the typical things God seems to call me to do:

1. Cleaning and tasks that others don't want to do, often because they think the work is below them.
...
* If you appreciate a clean toilet in the restrooms at your church (and especially in the children's church), it might be one of us introverts who scrubbed it out before your arrival.

I may be wrong here... I would like to be wrong, but I honestly have never encountered an extrovert who noticed the state of a bathroom, unless it were disgusting. Then, they would merely complain about it long before attempting to clean it or report it to an appropriate person.

That said, I also think that the person who does the cleaning (rather than complaining) is probably gifted as a helper, and it really has nothing to do with your bent for social interaction.

 

[morefaithrequired]

you could have the operation

 

[seoulsearch]

As I've been writing, I've been thinking of other ways in which introverts serve the Lord and others:

* Miss Cinder, for example, has been all over the world serving as a missionary. She has served all kinds of people in different cultures and settings, and is one of the bravest people I know.

* Independent prayers -- several of the churches I attend have weekly prayer lists and requests from people in the congregation. They have a corporate prayer group that prays together over these requests (which might attract more extroverts, since it's done around other people), but several of us pick up these lists and pray for people at home (or while we're at our jobs.)

* Decorating, writing cards, assembling care packages, knitting baby blankets -- these are some of the ministries I hope to be joining in the coming years.

There really is no end to all the ways in which people can serve, no matter what their personality or level of interaction might be.

Never underestimate an introvert!!!

We just might be sneaking up on you.

 

[cinder]

@cinder @seoulsearch Forgive me for my ignorance and just entertain my inquiry, please.

How do you reconcile this idea of introversion, and God’s word that says to not forsake the fellowship of the brethren? Do you find your introversion to be an obstacle to walking in love towards others? Walking in obedience, even, to the Lord?

Granted people may be introverted for different reasons maybe you don’t struggle with social events but as you described it, you find it draining. If God made you to be this way, drained from the presence of others and thriving alone, what role do you suppose you are to serve in the church? An intercessor? Where have you found your introversion to not impede yourself from serving others?

Seoulsearch already said a lot of good stuff. I may need to clarify that it's not that introverts don't socialize, they just usually want to socialize in shorter chunks and about something more substantial than what happened today. As for ministry opportunities I think seoul covered that there are plenty of ways to serve the body without being out and about with everyone. I think I have found it more challenging to make initial connections with people as an introvert and as I think it was 17Bees said I've had to learn that I much prefer going deep with a few rather than broad connections with many, and that that's ok and still a valid form of being Christian and obedient. It's not particularly an introvert thing, but I also tend to be much more task oriented than people oriented so I prefer doing tasks that will help the body (even if it's tasks involving people like teaching a class or workshop or collecting information for something) than I do unstructured social time for ministry. Or maybe it's more I want my free time / social time to be free rather than to have a oh I need to accomplish this and this spiritual goal while pretending it's a casual conversation with this person (some people work well without structure, I do much better with it).

I actually think this is what happened to me.

I think I started out as an extrovert, while existential circumstances pushed my introverted tendencies towards mutiny, and they eventually took over my identity.

Now I'm wondering which bathroom I'll be allowed to use in public.

It's not about which bathroom you use. It's about whether you go to the bathroom with a group or alone.

 

[TabinRivCA]

I'm thinking 'laid-back' might describe some of us in a way. I can be involved in a group and listen but when a statement said might be contrary to what I believe is right, I'll take over and change the direction of thought.
My neighbor got drunk one day and he came over mouthing off about one of my tenants being on his driveway and broke something. My tenant came out beside me, who thinks of me as a mild mannered Christian gal, and witnessed me 'rebuke' this guy, who for some reason thought I would just take it. As we parted I shouted 'bye stranger'. Well the next day he came to his senses and we've remained friends.
I come alive at hearings, where the interests of myself or someone I care about, is one the line. I defended a neighbor of mine who has a church, of sorts, up on the hill behind me, and he won the right to be there.
At my church Bible group, I held back mainly because I wasn't attending the Sunday services yet, but since I have, I am way more comfortable, because I am familiar with their sermons now.
Whenever I feel drawn into myself, I've learned that it's not about me. It's about the love of Christ in me and the flow of the Holy Spirit within. I feel I have as much validity as anyone else in any situation but sometimes choose to kick-back and listen, and that's ok too.

 

[morefaithrequired]

Then we are also talking about confidence with people, communication skills, assertiveness, ability to play bad cop and so on.
And these people are in the minority. Because we are either avoidant or choose too aggressive language. The challenge for all of us authenticity whilst respecting others.