With So Many "Fish in the Sea", How Many Should Someone be Baiting at Once?

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Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#81
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#81
sorry, none, and its not a given.

The fish wanna swim together freely in the sea, they dont want to be caught.

when Jesus spoke about being fishers of men, he meant for the Kingdom of Heaven being like a net, and catching many at once. He did not mean when he said that he wanted people to go find someone to marry.

I dont know why ppl keep trying to make the singles forum into a dating site.
 
BrotherMike

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
#82
Jan 8, 2018
1,617
1,671
113
#82
Lanolin said:
I dont know why ppl keep trying to make the singles forum into a dating site.
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I remember at church the pastor had all the singles raise their hands. There was quite a few of us. He then said men look at all the lovely ladies you can pursue and they are so close to you! :) God created us for relationships with Him first. I’ve seen people get married on CC, never underestimate what God can do!
 
Blackbeard

Blackbeard

Banned
#83
Dec 8, 2019
61
91
18
#83
Send an email to the Gambian gold guy, with 4.5 mil euros guaranteed you won't be single for long!
 
M

MegMarch

Guest
#84
#84
Shoot. Gambian gold guy is gone. I didn’t even have a chance. Figures. All the good ones are snatched up quickly.
 
BrotherMike

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
#86
Jan 8, 2018
1,617
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#86
It was a wealthy woman pursuing me 😍🥰 what are the chances? I was so lucky and blew it! Sigh
 
M

MegMarch

Guest
#87
#87
BrotherMike said:
It was a wealthy woman pursuing me 😍🥰 what are the chances? I was so lucky and blew it! Sigh
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God, finally answered your prayers. Don't know a good thing when it's right in front of ya. :ROFL:
 
Butterflyyy

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
#88
Oct 31, 2019
1,626
1,319
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#88
I agree, it is off-putting if you realise you are one of a number of people a guy is considering....
To be honest, I've had enough of the whole idea of fishing/baiting as I've come to the conclusion that I would much rather be led by the Lord ... lately I feel repulsed at the prospect of 'selling myself' on a dating site with my best pics and a good profile🙄....
If I go to Christian Singles Events, I make sure I go with a mindset of having a nice, enjoyable time meeting other Christians and making friends, which avoids potential disappointment and I always come home happy and encouraged.
Ultimately I think it's about seeking God, loving Him, serving & worshipping Him in all we do and trusting Him that He works all for our good and His timing is right- which can be a very hard thing to come to terms with at times but there's so much we don't see in our lives, character and future.... which He of course does see. I want Him to be my focus, not 'singleness.'
I'm not saying it's wrong to go on sites and the Lord may lead someone to go on a Christian dating site at a specific time and it works out... but I have become disillusioned with it all...
Sometimes, if I speak to a guy and I become aware that he is talking to different people I have had grace to think, "Well, the Lord's will be done..." if in the end he pursues me, and forsakes all others, then, I guess that is where he was at; and in all honesty, we do all consider different people.... if it happens to be that a few different people are in their path at one particular time it is up to them to be led by the Lord....it could be genuine or it could be that they haven't matured past enjoying attention from lots of different women; some of course, are in fact, no-where near ready to give their all for a wife.
I personally can't be bothered talking to a lot of different guys... I am usually able to discern quickly if one person is more Godly etc. than another....
When I first started to consider people it was fun to talk to lots of different people on-line who were Christian, but I much prefer to be on this forum speaking to friends now.
If I was say, speaking to 2 guys as friends and one of them wanted to pursue me... well I would politely explain to the other one and end the friendship out of respect for the man showing more serious interest.
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#89
May 23, 2009
16,707
5,617
113
#89
BrotherMike said:
It was a wealthy woman pursuing me 😍🥰 what are the chances? I was so lucky and blew it! Sigh
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I was reading a Bible passage yesterday that said God made Abraham rich with large numbers of goats, sheep, and precious metals.

I just checked the other day, and I have large numbers... of unmatched socks, so does that count?

Hey, at least I have large numbers of SOMETHING... :cool:
 
BrotherMike

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
#90
Jan 8, 2018
1,617
1,671
113
#90
seoulsearch said:
I was reading a Bible passage yesterday that said God made Abraham rich with large numbers of goats, sheep, and precious metals.

I just checked the other day, and I have large numbers... of unmatched socks, so does that count?

Hey, at least I have large numbers of SOMETHING... :cool:
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Unmatched... hey that can be the new fashion and you’ll be rich!!!
 
Dino246

Dino246

Senior Member
#91
Jun 30, 2015
25,606
13,863
113
#91
To the thread topic...

I think it's appropriate for a distinction to be drawn between "just dating casually" and "in a relationship". The key is in deciding for yourself what commitment you are making, and communicating that commitment appropriately.

What is not okay is deciding for someone else what their level of commitment should be. I talked to one lady who was making subtle demands the first time we talked, as in, "If you're talking to me, then you shouldn't be talking to anyone else." I hadn't even decided that I wanted to talk to her a second time!

Unfortunately, the impatient culture in which we live doesn't offer the freedom to press "Pause" on a potential relationship. You either want to date me right now or I will write you off forever. What if someone in whom you were interested said, "I'm dating someone else, and don't want to date more than one person at a time," but then contacted you a month later with the previous connection having come to naught? Would you be willing to date that person after being "set aside"?
 
Butterflyyy

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
#93
Oct 31, 2019
1,626
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#93
BrotherMike said:
I remember at church the pastor had all the singles raise their hands. There was quite a few of us. He then said men look at all the lovely ladies you can pursue and they are so close to you! :) God created us for relationships with Him first. I’ve seen people get married on CC, never underestimate what God can do!
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Wow lol... let's pray for more Pastors like THAT🙌😂
 
Butterflyyy

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
#94
Oct 31, 2019
1,626
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#94
Dino246 said:
To the thread topic...

I think it's appropriate for a distinction to be drawn between "just dating casually" and "in a relationship". The key is in deciding for yourself what commitment you are making, and communicating that commitment appropriately.

What is not okay is deciding for someone else what their level of commitment should be. I talked to one lady who was making subtle demands the first time we talked, as in, "If you're talking to me, then you shouldn't be talking to anyone else." I hadn't even decided that I wanted to talk to her a second time!

Unfortunately, the impatient culture in which we live doesn't offer the freedom to press "Pause" on a potential relationship. You either want to date me right now or I will write you off forever. What if someone in whom you were interested said, "I'm dating someone else, and don't want to date more than one person at a time," but then contacted you a month later with the previous connection having come to naught? Would you be willing to date that person after being "set aside"?[/QUOTE)
It's difficult isn't it... I wouldn't want to be picked up and dropped like some 'mug' and I wouldn't want my feelings hurt; I reckon I would need to know their reasons for not wanting to date but then I think starting a relationship with friendship is the best...

If I had been 'set aside,' I may respect the guy all the more for having integrity and being faithful to the person he was already dating, so yes I personally would consider him still....
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Butterflyyy

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
#95
Oct 31, 2019
1,626
1,319
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#95
Dino246 said:
To the thread topic...

I think it's appropriate for a distinction to be drawn between "just dating casually" and "in a relationship". The key is in deciding for yourself what commitment you are making, and communicating that commitment appropriately.

What is not okay is deciding for someone else what their level of commitment should be. I talked to one lady who was making subtle demands the first time we talked, as in, "If you're talking to me, then you shouldn't be talking to anyone else." I hadn't even decided that I wanted to talk to her a second time!

Unfortunately, the impatient culture in which we live doesn't offer the freedom to press "Pause" on a potential relationship. You either want to date me right now or I will write you off forever. What if someone in whom you were interested said, "I'm dating someone else, and don't want to date more than one person at a time," but then contacted you a month later with the previous connection having come to naught? Would you be willing to date that person after being "set aside"?
Click to expand...
It's difficult isn't it... I wouldn't want to be picked up and dropped like some 'mug' and I wouldn't want my feelings hurt; I reckon I would need to know their reasons for not wanting to date but then I think starting a relationship with friendship is the best...

If I had been 'set aside,' I may respect the guy all the more for having integrity and being faithful to the person he was already dating, so yes I personally would consider him still....
 
M

MegMarch

Guest
#96
#96
Dino246 said:
To the thread topic...

I think it's appropriate for a distinction to be drawn between "just dating casually" and "in a relationship". The key is in deciding for yourself what commitment you are making, and communicating that commitment appropriately.

What is not okay is deciding for someone else what their level of commitment should be. I talked to one lady who was making subtle demands the first time we talked, as in, "If you're talking to me, then you shouldn't be talking to anyone else." I hadn't even decided that I wanted to talk to her a second time!

Unfortunately, the impatient culture in which we live doesn't offer the freedom to press "Pause" on a potential relationship. You either want to date me right now or I will write you off forever. What if someone in whom you were interested said, "I'm dating someone else, and don't want to date more than one person at a time," but then contacted you a month later with the previous connection having come to naught? Would you be willing to date that person after being "set aside"?
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It would be controlling if someone else tries to decide the level of commitment for another person, which is definitely not ok. Both people should freely want to commit, and if they don't after a period of time, then move on.

My view is if both have decided to be in a committed relationship, then they should not be dating other people or chatting with other people as dating options especially if we are considering the context of Christian dating.

I might not be understanding your second point clearly, so I apologize if I am not. If my current hypothetical relationship didn't work out and I contacted someone from previous interactions, and they didn't want to communicate with me, I would respect that. Sometimes it was a matter of timing that things didn't work out. However, I am not likely to be the pursuer in dating. So when old flames die for whatever reason, I am not likely to go back and pursue them again. If I am in a serious relationship, I might pursue the man in different ways so that the relationship is reciprocal, but I definitely have a need as a woman to be pursued. But I digress.
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#98
Mar 26, 2014
4,436
2,423
113
#98
Dino246 said:
To the thread topic...

I think it's appropriate for a distinction to be drawn between "just dating casually" and "in a relationship". The key is in deciding for yourself what commitment you are making, and communicating that commitment appropriately.
Click to expand...
I was thinking something along the lines of this because I'm sure there has to be some sort of middle ground between completely avoiding (or irreversibly friend zoning) members of the opposite sex that you meet and narrowing your perspective till your only criteria for evaluating new members of the opposite sex is as potential romantic partners.

Despite all the complications, I am rather grateful that I'm able to be part of a society where I can interact with men as more than just potential marriage partners and I have more possibilities for my life life than stay at home wife and mother, secretary, and schoolteacher.

But honesty and clarity is key. And really if you feel the need to hide what you are doing in your dating life, it's a good bet you're doing something wrong (even if it's just staying with someone you should have broken up with).
 
JamOn

JamOn

Banned
#99
Jun 10, 2019
4,304
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#99
Why bait fish when oysters and clams have pearls 😝
 
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