Do you enjoy your singleness?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
Apr 1, 2014
6,194
1,321
113
33
Arizona
I wonder if there is a way to enjoy our singleness...hmm! You know what I may make a separate thread for that.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
My husband left so he could have an easier life-he was unfaithful.
And I do realise that widowhood doesn't happen to everyone😐
Whether it happens sooner or later the point is it is very difficult. My friend has been widowed many years and brought up 3 boys on her own, and even though there were uncles, they are busy farmers and it's not the same as having a Dad. You haven't got a clue what it's like. I have tried to get church family to help- but the men in my church are mainly old and live far away.
It is unbelievably difficult to 'pull it together' on your own with 5 kids (4boys).... wow... Job's miserable comforters are on here... dear me
am sorry but yea I actually do know what it can be like hard for anybody even with a dad if you dont have faith in God.

The widow with the oil made do with what she had and God multiplied it. There are many widows (and abandoned wives) in church its actually very common. please dont fall into trap of self pity there are loads of help available if you know where to look. dont get angry at people reserve it for Satan who tries to attack everyone.
 

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
Oct 31, 2019
1,626
1,319
113
am sorry but yea I actually do know what it can be like hard for anybody even with a dad if you dont have faith in God.

The widow with the oil made do with what she had and God multiplied it. There are many widows (and abandoned wives) in church its actually very common. please dont fall into trap of self pity there are loads of help available if you know where to look. dont get angry at people reserve it for Satan who tries to attack everyone.
You are like one of Job's miserable comforters. It's not self- pity. And I would never speak to my widowed friend like this. I'm not angry I'm disgusted.
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
14,554
2,176
113
Was single until I was 17 then got married....way to young by the way....even though I thought I was a grownup....I was wrong.... got divorced because husband and I grew up and grew apart.

Then single for 35 years. Dated and had some close calls during those 35 years was asked to get married more than once but I was scared and afraid of commitment so I stayed single. Also during those 35 years I grew older and less attractive by gaining weight, I also became more independent and that is usually not an attractive quality for a female trying to attract a man.

At times I wanted a partner and even longed for a partner, but after the years kept rolling by I became used to being single and the freedom that a single life affords. Sometimes as I got older when I would pray it got to the point that I would say to God - I really don't know what to pray for when it comes to a relationship. Since I had been married once and it failed I didn't know if it was o.k. for me to even think about having another husband since my first husband was alive and it had not been an adulterous situation for the failed marriage so I just stayed single... Then in 2010 my daughter's father died- we never got married..... and in 2014 my Ex-husband passed away and I felt released and free.

At the end of the 35 year period I had given up ever having a relationship again and thought I would die single and had accepted that as fact. God had other plans and allowed Tourist and I to find each other here on CC and the rest is history. Just a few days ago we celebrated our 5th anniversary.

I went through a lot of phases and changes in the 35 year period, up, down at times wishing for a partner and other times thankful I was single. It was a journey I was meant to travel and I think it made me a better person and I know that I am a much better marriage partner than the first time around. Married the first time at 17 divorced at 24, married the second time at 59. Feels like I have had the best of both worlds....
 

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
Oct 31, 2019
1,626
1,319
113
Was single until I was 17 then got married....way to young by the way....even though I thought I was a grownup....I was wrong.... got divorced because husband and I grew up and grew apart.

Then single for 35 years. Dated and had some close calls during those 35 years was asked to get married more than once but I was scared and afraid of commitment so I stayed single. Also during those 35 years I grew older and less attractive by gaining weight, I also became more independent and that is usually not an attractive quality for a female trying to attract a man.

At times I wanted a partner and even longed for a partner, but after the years kept rolling by I became used to being single and the freedom that a single life affords. Sometimes as I got older when I would pray it got to the point that I would say to God - I really don't know what to pray for when it comes to a relationship. Since I had been married once and it failed I didn't know if it was o.k. for me to even think about having another husband since my first husband was alive and it had not been an adulterous situation for the failed marriage so I just stayed single... Then in 2010 my daughter's father died- we never got married..... and in 2014 my Ex-husband passed away and I felt released and free.

At the end of the 35 year period I had given up ever having a relationship again and thought I would die single and had accepted that as fact. God had other plans and allowed Tourist and I to find each other here on CC and the rest is history. Just a few days ago we celebrated our 5th anniversary.

I went through a lot of phases and changes in the 35 year period, up, down at times wishing for a partner and other times thankful I was single. It was a journey I was meant to travel and I think it made me a better person and I know that I am a much better marriage partner than the first time around. Married the first time at 17 divorced at 24, married the second time at 59. Feels like I have had the best of both worlds....
Well it is an honour to meet you, Mrs. Tourist... and thank you very much indeed for your honest and encouraging testimony. XXX
 
Nov 25, 2019
337
157
43
I'm not interested in cryptics. Kindly just answer the question.
It's not cryptics if you think about it BUT dating sites show a lack of patience for God's will and when you lack patience you make mistakes. Many people make mistakes by rushing into things on dating sites which are riddled with other problems too like fakers and liars.
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
25,602
13,861
113
It's not cryptics if you think about it BUT dating sites show a lack of patience for God's will and when you lack patience you make mistakes. Many people make mistakes by rushing into things on dating sites which are riddled with other problems too like fakers and liars.
How do "dating sites show a lack of patience for God's will"? How is in-person dating any less "riddled with other problems too like fakers and liars"? What is it about dating sites that make people using them more likely to be "rushing into things"?
 
Nov 30, 2019
26
45
13
New England
How do "dating sites show a lack of patience for God's will"? How is in-person dating any less "riddled with other problems too like fakers and liars"? What is it about dating sites that make people using them more likely to be "rushing into things"?
I was the one who originally brought up online dating sites. I think what Alby was saying is that with the popularity of social media, text messaging and online dating, it's easier for one to hide their true self longer. From experience, I've learned that it's much harder to decern the Wolves from the Sheep and it's an ideal platform for narcissists and other preditors to bait their prey. When meeting someone organically, you're much more likely to determine whether they are truthful or hiding behind a mask of righteousness.
 
Oct 9, 2019
61
23
8
am sorry but yea I actually do know what it can be like hard for anybody even with a dad if you dont have faith in God.

The widow with the oil made do with what she had and God multiplied it. There are many widows (and abandoned wives) in church its actually very common. please dont fall into trap of self pity there are loads of help available if you know where to look. dont get angry at people reserve it for Satan who tries to attack everyone.

WOW @Lanolin, what is up with you ?? .... you sound so insensitive. Did something happen to you recently ?? I only ask because from your earlier posts, you seem to have been a pretty mellow person.

Please be better.

It takes a lot of trust to share intimate bits of your life with complete strangers but here, there is an expectation that you are among Friends (even eternal Brothers and Sisters one day) who won't judge you as the World does but instead offer a kind ear and warm words.

Before you make another of your posts, please consider how difficult @Butterflyyy's situation must be, and possibly many others here who may share her story or have lived through the same situation and find comfort in the kind responses from this community.

Please, Show Love and Understanding to others and their situations just as Our Lord and Savior chooses to Love each of us deeply despite our MANY FAULTS.

And if this is not enough, remember that in the Scriptures in (Matt. 18 : 20 NKJV) Jesus states: " ...... For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them .... ". Even here on this forum, Jesus sees and hears everything, weighing the intentions and for each word whether spoken or typed - We will give an account before HIM at the Judgement.

Be Kind.
 

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
1,617
1,671
113
Honestly and being real speaking we all don’t like being single. God created us for friendships / relationships with Him first and others. Most of us have love to give and want to receive. Yes it’s risky putting our hearts out there, we all don’t want to be hurt, but if we don’t try the answer will always be no. Best thing to do is seek Gods peace about that person and pray for red flags. It’s also important to keep our eyes on Him while we wait.

Bible says the flesh is weak, thus it’s important to put God first together (equally yoked) and to encourage each other to put and keep on the full armor of God. Just let them know in the beginning that I’m going with the wisdom of Meatloaf... I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that until marriage 😊 If they decline they are not for you.
 

VineyardsOfEngedi

Well-known member
Nov 26, 2019
899
297
63
.....YOU are absolutely right to feel like you do, because people as 'The Church' Dont live as GOD intended. In biblical times, People lived in societies that cared for one another- ate together, carried each others burdens, etc. (and in undeveloped countries they largely still do), so a person was never truly alone. GOD continuously speaks on caring for widows and orphans, its pretty clear as to why.
I was on a mission in the Caribbean and during my travels I was Blessed to stay a few Days with a Family in a Mennonite Community, GOD blessed me to see his perfect plan in action, these People Love each other, share each others burdens, Build with each, raise each others Children, Edify each other and so on......
This was nice to read :)
 

VineyardsOfEngedi

Well-known member
Nov 26, 2019
899
297
63
Honestly and being real speaking we all don’t like being single. God created us for friendships / relationships with Him first and others. Most of us have love to give and want to receive. Yes it’s risky putting our hearts out there, we all don’t want to be hurt, but if we don’t try the answer will always be no. Best thing to do is seek Gods peace about that person and pray for red flags. It’s also important to keep our eyes on Him while we wait.

Bible says the flesh is weak, thus it’s important to put God first together (equally yoked) and to encourage each other to put and keep on the full armor of God. Just let them know in the beginning that I’m going with the wisdom of Meatloaf... I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that until marriage 😊 If they decline they are not for you.
hahah wisdom of meatloaf ... never heard of that. and yes I think we are meant to be social :/
 

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
1,617
1,671
113
I was the one who originally brought up online dating sites. I think what Alby was saying is that with the popularity of social media, text messaging and online dating, it's easier for one to hide their true self longer. From experience, I've learned that it's much harder to decern the Wolves from the Sheep and it's an ideal platform for narcissists and other preditors to bait their prey. When meeting someone organically, you're much more likely to determine whether they are truthful or hiding behind a mask of righteousness.
This is so true, I’ve always been a big believer you don’t really know someone until you meet them.
 

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
1,617
1,671
113
hahah wisdom of meatloaf ... never heard of that. and yes I think we are meant to be social :/
I don’t know how much wisdom he has, that’s up to God lol. I just said it to be somewhat funny but it’s a serious issue. :)
 

VineyardsOfEngedi

Well-known member
Nov 26, 2019
899
297
63
I don’t know how much wisdom he has, that’s up to God lol. I just said it to be somewhat funny but it’s a serious issue. :)
Wait, what? Meatloaf is a person? Sorry I didn't get the reference, so i laughed. Um of course its serious, I just laughed cause I pictured meatloaf and didn't understand the "wisdom" in that. It seems you started reading later in the thread. I was agreeing with you.