Do you enjoy your singleness?

[cinder]

Why can't someone think of a suitable forum for those on here, male and female, who would like to find a possible 'match', lol. However, age and location and chemistry would pose a challenge., lol.

Probably because either that kind of platform is better suited for a dating site (of which there are many) than a forum or else because forums are for discussion and attract the kind of people who think the best way to get to know someone is to discuss lots of things and hear said person's opinion on all of those things.

Though a good question to ask is why do so many Western Christians subtly (or sometimes overtly) imply that everyone should be married but when a single actually develops an interest in another single their advice is usually along the theme of "Be careful about getting into a relationship because you're only one step away from major sins like idolatry and fornication" ? Sometimes asking for advice as a single in church makes you feel like you're being told "You'll need to get married to fully be one of us, but don't go around dating people, that could open the door to all kinds of undesireable things. "

 

[Lynx]

You know cinder, the more you talk, the more I like when you talk. Preach it!

 

[tourist]

Why can't someone think of a suitable forum for those on here, male and female, who would like to find a possible 'match', lol. However, age and location and chemistry would pose a challenge., lol.

When I first joined the site I created a thread called Christian Romance Personal Matchmaker for that specific purpose. It was not well received by certain peeps who were members at that time. I was told that this is not a dating site (more than once). I'm glad that I disregarded the memo as I would still be single. I believe this site to be a great resource for those inclined to establishing an enduring loving relationship.

 

[Lanolin]

Do you enjoy your singles?

I thought singles went out with vinyl records. But apparently, they have come back on spotify, and now you can subscribe to them. You dont need to buy a whole album anymore. Sometimes you buy an album for that one song and all the other songs are just extras you dont really want to listen to.

 

[cinder]

You know cinder, the more you talk, the more I like when you talk. Preach it!

What can I say? I was always one of those who believed that if you really believed something you practiced and not just preached it. So when people don't practice what they preach I notice, and I'm likely to call them out on it, especially if they're wanting the impossible or even just unreasonable.

 

[ArtsieSteph]

When I first joined the site I created a thread called Christian Romance Personal Matchmaker for that specific purpose. It was not well received by certain peeps who were members at that time. I was told that this is not a dating site (more than once). I'm glad that I disregarded the memo as I would still be single. I believe this site to be a great resource for those inclined to establishing an enduring loving relationship.

Yup I too have been told this is by no means a dating site. If someone finds a relationship on here cool, but that’s not the point. Many many on here have had their first (and sometimes only) thread be an introduction of themselves and something along the lines of “looking for love” or “looking for a christian woman/man.”

 

[Susanna]

This is not a dating site?

 

[tourist]

Yup I too have been told this is by no means a dating site. If someone finds a relationship on here cool, but that’s not the point. Many many on here have had their first (and sometimes only) thread be an introduction of themselves and something along the lines of “looking for love” or “looking for a Christian woman/man.”

I find nothing wrong about intro threads stating that they are looking for that special someone. It would be hard for a member that might otherwise be interested if they believe that certain other members are not interested in meeting someone. It pays to advertise a possible attraction.

I do however highly recommend that new members take the time to integrate themselves into the community, enjoy the fellowship and participate in encouragement, prayer and support. In this way other members will be given the opportunity to learn who they are and what they are about and the new members would have this same opportunity. It's highly unlikely that a member will be noticed that remains in the background.

 

[tourist]

This is not a dating site?

I believe otherwise but that's just me.

 

[TabinRivCA]

I find nothing wrong about intro threads stating that they are looking for that special someone. It would be hard for a member that might otherwise be interested if they believe that certain other members are not interested in meeting someone. It pays to advertise a possible attraction.

I do however highly recommend that new members take the time to integrate themselves into the community, enjoy the fellowship and participate in encouragement, prayer and support. In this way other members will be given the opportunity to learn who they are and what they are about and the new members would have this same opportunity. It's highly unlikely that a member will be noticed that remains in the background.

That's exactly right, and I would add to those yearning for a spouse to not be afraid to start a casual conversation w/someone whom they hold in high esteem. I've been married twice, both in Heaven, and I had to 86 my son's dad from the premises, so I'm not worried about it. But I've noticed members who do express a longing to be in Christian unity with someone and share a life together. To initiate a conversation, no strings attached, couldn't cause too much damage if done w/o 'dating site' stigma attached.

 

[G00WZ]

I know it seems a little bit of an insensitive question, but be honest. I’m sure there are some of us whom God has given the single life for a purpose. It may not be forever, but maybe God has made you content where you are now. What about you?

Personally I can say I’m probably more neutral about it. Not that I “don’t care,” but I don’t think I’m desperate for a relationship, nor am I despairing. It would be wonderful to find a boyfriend/husband of course, but it’s not like my next life plan step to put my time into it you know? I want that evolution from friendship to be natural.

I think i enjoy being in a state of not needing, however if i want something i can just get it and change my relationship status. I have some friends who lack relationship, so they are always in a state of need, they seek it to make them happy, while i am just happy that i don't need it. Scripture says that he who has more will be added unto them. To me that means if i don't need i don't lack, that implies that i already have something, anything else that i pick up along the way is an addition to my lack of need of those things. To some, being single is a state of lacking being in a relationship though. But i see it differently.

 

[Butterflyyy]

AwwwThank you!!hugs

 

[Butterflyyy]

I think i enjoy being in a state of not needing, however if i want something i can just get it and change my relationship status. I have some friends who lack relationship, so they are always in a state of need, they seek it to make them happy, while i am just happy that i don't need it. Scripture says that he who has more will be added unto them. To me that means if i don't need i don't lack, that implies that i already have something, anything else that i pick up along the way is an addition to my lack of need of those things. To some, being single is a state of lacking being in a relationship though. But i see it differently.

I struggle sometimes with the fact that God said it's not good for man to be alone, and yet so many Christians are alone and desperately don't want to be.

 

[Subhumanoidal]

This was a hard read, i'm sorry you're going through so much alone. Maybeeeee, be a bit economical with your self-condemnation, i know you are of great value to our King. When you have some time please read ( MATTHEW 10 : 29 - 31 ) and remind yourself not to give up no matter what the present situation may say.
I'll pray for you Brother, may Jesus Christ give you victory to overcome your obstacles just as HE Overcame. ( JOHN 16 : 33 )

I do appreciate your sentiment.
But I have depression as well, so self condemnation is a bit inevitable and severe naturally.
My situations have been spiraling into worse and worse things my entire life. I sometimes wish to go back to the times when I was homeless as that time seemed better than now.
Also I came to discover, after 30 years of being a Christian, I am not predestined to be saved, therefore following God is something that does not seem worthwhile. So I have learnt trusting God is often more dangerous.

 

[Butterflyyy]

When I was younger I was slightly desperate to be with someone. Now it's kind of a mixed bag. As a depressed introvert being single is easier. My last relationship sometimes wore me out as an introvert.

But on the other side I don't get out much, or spend time around many people, which is not always healthy.
Also I get no physical contact, which is proven to help depression and even aid in overall health and life expectancy.
Having the health problems that I do I feel like I'll be in an extremely bad position, in the future, as a single. Yet also feel it would be unfair to put those burdens on someone else.
And I've just always had the desire to be married, even as a kid.
But chances are I'll die sick, younger and alone, possibly homeless, since people I date don't stick around.

Is there any possibility of your health problems improving in the long term future? I am ill and at home a lot ... I don't make it to my small church as often as I'd like... and it is isolating... i wish I could've out there mixing with lots of Christians and I have thoroughly enjoyed Christian singles events that I've been to. God can change things I know that... so let's hope lots of prayers will be said to Him for you XX

 

[Butterflyyy]

I do appreciate your sentiment.
But I have depression as well, so self condemnation is a bit inevitable and severe naturally.
My situations have been spiraling into worse and worse things my entire life. I sometimes wish to go back to the times when I was homeless as that time seemed better than now.
Also I came to discover, after 30 years of being a Christian, I am not predestined to be saved, therefore following God is something that does not seem worthwhile. So I have learnt trusting God is often more dangerous.

Predestination is unscriptural if you study the original languages of the Bible- the truth is that God loves you so much He died for you- the Bible tells us Christ died for ALL... He wants you to live for the purposes He has for you... He's got stuff He wants YOU to do specifically YOU... there isn't another you...
There is nothing more important than trusting in Him as this is what pleases Him, there is nothing more important than following Him because He is God... He is worthy of all honour and praise and love and worship ... ask Him to fill you afresh with His Spirit, wait on Him to strengthen your heart because the Bible says He will...tell Him all your cares for He cares for youX

 

[Butterflyyy]

I do appreciate your sentiment.
But I have depression as well, so self condemnation is a bit inevitable and severe naturally.
My situations have been spiraling into worse and worse things my entire life. I sometimes wish to go back to the times when I was homeless as that time seemed better than now.
Also I came to discover, after 30 years of being a Christian, I am not predestined to be saved, therefore following God is something that does not seem worthwhile. So I have learnt trusting God is often more dangerous.

This got me thinking of a lovely song.. do you know it? I hope you can find it on YouTube and that it blesses your precious heart

Did you ever talk to God above?
Tell Him that you need a friend to love.
Pray in Jesus’ name believing
that God answers prayer.

Have you told Him all your cares and woes?
Ev’ry tiny little fear He knows.
You can know He’ll always hear
And He will answer prayer.

You can whisper in a crowd to Him.
You can cry when you’re alone to Him.
You don’t have to pray out loud to Him;
He knows your thoughts.

 

[Butterflyyy]

I do appreciate your sentiment.
But I have depression as well, so self condemnation is a bit inevitable and severe naturally.
My situations have been spiraling into worse and worse things my entire life. I sometimes wish to go back to the times when I was homeless as that time seemed better than now.
Also I came to discover, after 30 years of being a Christian, I am not predestined to be saved, therefore following God is something that does not seem worthwhile. So I have learnt trusting God is often more dangerous.

Hey I realised there's more of this song and it's very powerful truth... ( I have been very blessed through children's songs many times)...
On a lofty mountain peak, He’s there.
In a meadow by a stream, He’s there.
Anywhere on earth you go,
He’s been there from the start.

Find the answer in His Word; it’s true.
You’ll be strong because He walks with you.
By His faithfulness He’ll change you, too.
God answers prayer.

God bless

 

[tourist]

I'm content at the moment occupied with life's pursuits (work, school) but, as with most things here, there are good days and bad days.

Some thoughts have always nagged at me in my quiet moments:

• What if this life is my only shot at romantic love ? ( We know what Our Lord said about Heaven-Life in the Scriptures, NO COUPLIN

The bible only states that there will be no marriage in heaven and that we will be like the angels. Marriage is a contract between a man, a woman, and God that is binding until death of either spouse. Since there will be no more death it stands to reason that there will not be a contract of marriage but that is not to say that there will not be intimate relationships between a man and a woman. I suppose that if we are to be like the angels in regards to relationships it may be best to find out exactly what angels are in as far as what is permitted or not permitted. No coupling? What's the fun in that?

 

[Butterflyyy]

The bible only states that there will be no marriage in heaven and that we will be like the angels. Marriage is a contract between a man, a woman, and God that is binding until death of either spouse. Since there will be no more death it stands to reason that there will not be a contract of marriage but that is not to say that there will not be intimate relationships between a man and a woman. I suppose that if we are to be like the angels in regards to relationships it may be best to find out exactly what angels are in as far as what is permitted or not permitted. No coupling? What's the fun in that?

LOL