How do you make decisions?

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Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#1
Dec 15, 2018
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#1
For singles, it should be easy, you decide to do something, then you do it, you dont really need to ask anyone else.

But what happens with two or more people?

Do you go round asking everybodys opinions, then decide?
Even if they dont agree, do you just do what you want anyway?
Or do you wait till everyones had their say and then decide. What if they are unable to make any decision, cant make up their mind, do you just wait around for them? What if they drag their feet.

What decisons would be important and would you ask them even if you think it didnt affect them?

Or do you just let everyone else decide for you?
 
I

IFOLLOWHIM

Guest
#2
#2
I have not found making my decision on my own difficult!
What I find difficult is getting folks to understand my decision!
If I say" NO" that is what I mean...ex.someone asks me to go somewhere,when I decide I don't want to then its on......trying to convince me....lol I find it funny bc I mean what I say and they know it!
I answer to God first,then myself!

I am the kind though that is compassionate and if family is in a pickle and need help......I'm there with watever!
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#3
Aug 13, 2014
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I am more optimizer than initiator. I'm not a leader, I just figure out how to do what the leader wants to get done, in a better way.

Usually I let other people make the decisions, then I decide if I want to be a part of what they are doing. If I have an idea that might improve what they are doing I might make a suggestion. Or maybe not.
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#4
Mar 26, 2014
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#4
That's pretty much why I do so much alone. And hang out with people who are fine with ample go your own way time and meet back up at such and such a time.

Granted with really big decisions it's nice to have people to help me think through things because I'm not so foolish as to think that my natural perspective is all encompassing and won't miss something. But that's what my awesome parents and friends (and the internet) are for.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#5
Aug 13, 2014
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#5
And now, thanks to cinder, the song "you can go your own way" keeps playing through my head...
 
J

Jenny23

Guest
#6
#6
If it is a major life decision, I first talk to God about it. I journal about it. If I’m confused, I have a group of 3 trusted believers who are women who I will talk to. I will at the very least ask them to pray for me and seek their wisdom. I continue to go before God until I have peace. I look for confirmation in his Word. I tend to be very analytical which can make my process drawn out at times. I also listen to my conscience. I believe God tries to direct me through it paired with prayer and his word.

I think the process probably looks different for each individual.
 
StreetPreacher

StreetPreacher

Member
#7
Oct 12, 2019
50
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#7
Proverbs 16:9
A man’s heart plans his way,
But the Lord directs his steps.
 
G00WZ

G00WZ

Senior Member
#8
May 16, 2014
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#8
I never ask for peoples opinions, people give them out whether or not i ask... I just make moves on my own, and people later on find out that i did a "thing". In a relationship a person would just have to trust my judgments because i am pretty good at it. If they don't agree, oh well i'm doing it anyways lol, they can thank me later. I would listen to what was said though, maybe even help expand it, but if it just didn't add up or was unrealistic, then no i wouldn't go through with it. Some decisions take planning because i like to have things finely tuned, visualized, actualized and perfected long before putting them in motion. I rarely make decisions on a whim.
 
love_comes_softly

love_comes_softly

Well-known member
#9
Feb 13, 2019
768
823
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#9
G00WZ said:
In a relationship a person would just have to trust my judgments because i am pretty good at it. If they don't agree, oh well i'm doing it anyways lol, they can thank me later. .
Click to expand...

I can't help but ask, has this been successful in your relationships?
 
O

oldethennew

Banned
#10
Feb 28, 2016
11,311
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#10
whether single or coupled, Yeshua's ways should always be our first choice in determining our RIGHT decisions,
in each and every way, every day...
 
G00WZ

G00WZ

Senior Member
#11
May 16, 2014
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#11
love_comes_softly said:
I can't help but ask, has this been successful in your relationships?
Click to expand...
Yes it has, and its not about being domineering either. It has more so to do with trust, and less about agreeing with my decision. I believe that a man should purpose himself to lead in the relationship he is in, and the woman should purpose herself to trust him.
This type of synergy works well because both have a role to fulfill, and doing so, they purpose each other.. Not every man should be trusted though.. And just like i told my sister years ago before she had kids with her ex " If you can't trust him don't stay in relationship with him". Most of the things he did to make her lose that trust was doing destructive things that would only benefit himself.

My last relationship was amazing, i almost married her, but i was too young, and really didn't have much of a grasp on what i wanted out of life so i let her go. I decided to take some time to grow spiritually and just overall in understanding as a man. I am actually single by choice right now and not interested or looking. In the past i used to be PUA, so the choice to go the other way has been quite an interesting transition. But anyways yes i have been very successful in relationships, even the ones that didn't last for very long
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#12
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#12
Act first, ask forgiveness later right?

Otherwise you'll be stuck on hold 'your call is important to us....'

With God, if you are in the centre of His will, you dont need to worry, as if youve prayed up a storm beforehand, I found that whatver you decide He's made it so the path you go on is straight. And sometimes it looks like you might be going the wrong way until you turn the corner and it comes back to where He wants you to be. So just keep moving fwd. I think the worst thing you can do is look back, second guess yourself, and backslide.

Im not sure why, in christian circles, its called 'back sliding' I mean literally I never see people sliding on their backs, so what actually does it mean....? When I think of slides I just think of those playground slides.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#13
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#13
I think it would be weird to have someone agree with me ALL the time. It could be maybe they trust me which is great, but it would be kind of weird to have someone completely trust that I will never do anything wrong or misguided. It would make me feel like God lol
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#14
Mar 26, 2014
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#14
Honestly, if someone agreed with me ALL the time (especially without offering any additional perspective), I'd pretty quickly conclude they were just a spineless person and lose a lot of respect for them. Of course if they never agreed with me or considered my position valid, I wouldn't have any time for them either.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#15
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#15
cinder said:
Honestly, if someone agreed with me ALL the time (especially without offering any additional perspective), I'd pretty quickly conclude they were just a spineless person and lose a lot of respect for them. Of course if they never agreed with me or considered my position valid, I wouldn't have any time for them either.
Click to expand...
A yes-man (or yes-woman) like a sycophant? I think thats what they are called.
 
G00WZ

G00WZ

Senior Member
#16
May 16, 2014
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#16
Lanolin said:
I think it would be weird to have someone agree with me ALL the time. It could be maybe they trust me which is great, but it would be kind of weird to have someone completely trust that I will never do anything wrong or misguided. It would make me feel like God lol
Click to expand...
Yeah, that's the thing though when you know someone trusts you, you might rise to up to that trust and do all you can not to break that trust. And with that they might become more committed to the relationship, less inclined to cheat, get bored, lose investment, leave ect. Making mistakes doesn't always mean that a person is less honest or trustworthy, people are people, and they make mistakes.
As for agreeing/ disagreeing, people have opinions, that is life. It is unrealistic to believe that everyone will agree all of the time, however there is a time to agree, and there is a time for getting things done, especially when being with someone who is indecisive who can never make up their mind.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#17
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
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#17
G00WZ said:
Yeah, that's the thing though when you know someone trusts you, you might rise to up to that trust and do all you can not to break that trust. And with that they might become more committed to the relationship, less inclined to cheat, get bored, lose investment, leave ect. Making mistakes doesn't always mean that a person is less honest or trustworthy, people are people, and they make mistakes.
As for agreeing/ disagreeing, people have opinions, that is life. It is unrealistic to believe that everyone will agree all of the time, however there is a time to agree, and there is a time for getting things done, especially when being with someone who is indecisive who can never make up their mind.
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I give a time limit decide by this date. If nobodys decided then it doesnt happen. This is the thing with rsvps which I find hard if I am doing the inviting and they just dont let me know or not because of catering purposes. You dont want to provide too much food or not enough.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#18
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#18
And sometimes you need to book things as well. Some places you cant just turn up.
 
P

Princesse

Active member
#20
Feb 16, 2020
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#20
I don’t randomly solicit advice. I have a small group of people who’ve proven their discernment and wisdom in specific areas of their lives. No one bats a hundred all the time. I look for constancy and an ability to admit mistakes. I filter their words through my spirit and seek the Lord’s confirmation. On bigger issues I start with Him to see if they’re on the same page.

I don’t listen to people who never practice what they preach, have zero experience in the subject or related areas, or whose character I haven’t vetted.

I have never met someone I agreed with 100% of the time. My mentor gave me this tidbit many years ago on that subject.

A man meets a woman one day
And he tells her his desire
And she believes him
And validates what he says
And thus he becomes

The man in the scenario never changed. It was her way of impressing the importance of validating truths. While support is important. To behave as if it has come to pass is errant.

I’m not a people pleaser. Some folks expect total agreement and validation of everything they say and do. I disappoint them. Only God is perfect.
 
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