I am familiar with the Reformed view. Do you agree with me though? That just because a man repents to his wife about his adultery, it does not merit forgiveness? Its only by grace if he is forgiven.
Repentance is toward God, not toward another human. And if he repents of his sins toward God, he will be forgiven. Grace is unmerited, period.
So, asking me if a man repents to his wife doesn't sound coherent to me. Repentance is toward God. The wife may forgive her husband if he confesses it to her, though, and that forgiveness would be an act of grace.
The issue is what brings about repentance. In Reformed theology, it is through regeneration, or being given a heart of flesh that is capable of repentance and faith.
However, what I'm addressing is whether any aspect of being justified, or brought into a right relationship with God, comes from man himself. I think Ephesians 2:1-10 clearly addresses this. In the last few verses, Paul is clear to indicate that all aspects of salvation are given by God. Even faith and repentance are gifts.
Therefore, man can boast about NOTHING. And, even sanctification is caused by God, both in the willing and the doing.
Phil 2:12-13
12Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling,
13for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.
Notice that the man is to work out the salvation he already possesses, not to work for his salvation.
It is the similar concept in Eph 2:10 regarding works that God has given the believer to do.